if you follow that path

The marshland beneath her paws was still strange and unfamiliar, but she found that she welcomed it. This was the only path forward for her, or at least it was the only one she could see, and this time she knew that she wasn't blinded by loyalty and ignorance. It wasn’t what she wanted, and it wasn’t quite what was asked of her - it was a path she’d found in the space between, something entirely her own.

She would reclaim the life that had once been hers, and she would help shape the legacy that was, in some small way, her burden and her birthright. To take what had been soaked in blood and destruction, and redeem it where she could.

Not in ThunderClan’s forest, beneath the leafy canopies. Not following Roe to distant lands.

(She had chosen another way to follow in his pawsteps.)

(To do something new.)

It would start here, if they would take her. Though she was realizing, with each confident step into a world unknown, that she wasn’t quite sure where she was going. Maybe she should have asked someone for directions, but… Well, she was still learning how to find her way without the guidance of Asylum.

(Maybe this would be a learning experience.)

(One where no one died, this time.)

Now she could only hope she would be lucky enough to run into the ShadowClan leader once again.

Flintstar had always been one to patrol by himself, but it had seemed like countless moons since he had be able to truly walk the marshes on his lonesome. No shadows of his own, unwelcomed eyes tracking his every moment. It was...Nice. He padded forward, no real destination - instead simply enjoying the silence and solitude. That was, however, until a scent caught his attention. It was...Asylum, but it was also familiar. He sat there, trying to place it before he chose to simply follow it - if anything, it was important to find out why there was a stray Asylum cat on his territory.

It didn't take long to find the source, coming to a surprised stop as he truly recognized her. "...Thalia, wasn't it?" he meowed, hoping he had recalled her name correctly. This was quite a surprise, he hadn't seen her since the night they had met and he had lost a life - he had simply assumed that she would have left with the rest of Asylum yet here she was... "...What are you doing in ShadowClan territory?" he questioned, kneading at the ground as he waited for a reply.

"You remember me?" Okay, that was not the smartest question she'd ever asked, given that the last time they'd met he had died. She was pretty sure dying was the kind of thing someone remembered, though she'd never actually experienced it for herself. "...Wait. Don't answer that. But that does make things easier. As for why I'm here, well..."

She paused, taking a deep breath. This was important, she couldn't risk messing it up. "I was... I was born to Asylum. But I was left to ThunderClan by my mother as a kit... Until I was stolen, along with the other lost kits from the clans. The rest of my family are going to find their own, mostly, and the rest of Asylum is leaving... I wanted- I wanted to go with them, but... Roe told us to stay. To try and make a place for ourselves here."

(Well. He'd told them to find one. She was starting to think, though, that she'd have to be a little more proactive than that.)

(After all, she wasn't born for this.)

"I tried. I went to ThunderClan territory, and I ran into one of their warriors... But I couldn't remember anything, and they just... Left. I don't think I could belong there, if they don't - if they don't want someone who can't remember them. I guess I was never really theirs." She looked to her paws before earnestly looking up at him. "I'm trying to find that place, still. I don't know where it is. But I think I know what I want to do now, and... Well, this seemed like a good enough place to start. "

Flintstar opened his mouth to actually reply to Thalia's question but she quickly cut him off, causing him to hold his tongue as she very quickly launched into her story. It was...A lot and the leader somewhat struggled to understand it as she went on - how she was one of the stolen kits and that they had been told to try to find a place here but she didn't feel like it was with ThunderClan so now she was...Here. "I...See," he meowed, trying to make sure he hadn't missed anything in the lengthy explanation. "Well...If you think such a place is within ShadowClan, then I will be...Ah, happy to lead you to the camp."

She'd thought long and hard about her explanations, the case she would make, but the ShadowClan leader shattered every expectation she'd brought with her to his territory. What was she meant to say to that? She hadn't thought - she hadn't expected it, she certainly hadn't planned for this. She had to think quickly, and she had to not look like she was as confused as she felt, because she genuinely wanted to make a good impression.

(She was starting to think she'd already lost her chance at that.)

"I... I think it could be, if you'll have me," she nodded. "But... There's something I need to explain, first. I can't - I can't fight." She paused, realizing how it sounded. "I mean, I- physically, I can, but... I wasn't exactly taught restraint, and... I wound up taking the life of a WindClan cat. It was an accident, I swear, and I didn't know what I was doing... I never want that to happen again. I can't let that happen again. I can't let anyone else get hurt."

What was she doing? What use was a warrior who couldn't fight? She had to remember what she wanted to do, the legacy she was claiming for herself and making her own.

"I can- I can help, still. I was doing border patrols, after... And I learned other things, too, because I wanted to. I can learn more. I can try to hunt, too, but... Um, I'm not very good at it, judging from past experience. ...What do you expect from me, exactly?"

(Several times she had caught fellow Asylum cats in rabbit and hare pelts came to mind, in particular.)

The memory of WindClan's rolling moors sparked something - she realized, quite suddenly, that she'd forgotten a fairly crucial piece of information.

"...Also, I think WindClan's leader might still want to kill me? That's, um - that's kind of important, isn't it..."

There was a pause as Thalia explained that she couldn't fight - or at least, that she didn't. It wasn't a bother to Flintstar, they didn't fight all that often but then she went on that she couldn't really hunt (althought she could do border patrols at least) and...And that the WindClan leader might want her dead. Hm. That did make things...Slightly complicated. But, he suppose that had to do with the WindClan cat she had apparently killed. It would prove a bother if Olivestar wanted her dead but... "Well, first things first...I'm sure we could find a place for you. You don't need to fight, we can teach you how to hunt but...If you can find someway to be useful, we can start there. Keep Rookfire safe while he looks for herbs, take care of rotten prey..." There was a pause, a flicker of an ear. "...Yes, we can find something for you. Not every cat fights or hunts. As for Olivestar wanting you dead...I can speak to her about that on the next Gathering...Ah, we are going to have Gatherings again," he noted with a slight growl, before he shook his head. It...It hardly mattered. As something could "Either way, she has always been a...Level headed cat, I believe. I am sure I can work something out with her that will not have her coming after you."

There was a pause. A silence that hung in the air between them for a very long moment.

"Um... Olivestar's not WindClan's leader anymore." Wait, with what she'd just said, that sounded- "...Wait, I- I think I need to explain. I did not kill Olivestar. She just kind of... Disappeared. The leader now is - her daughter? It's Lilacstar."

(In her eyes, they had been friends, or as close as they could get. It stung to remember the fury in her expression.)

There was a long pause following that, a small shift in Flintstar's expression. His ears twitched, sitting slightly lower on his head than normal as he took that in. Olivestar...Was gone? She had just disappeared? That...It didn't sound like the leader...But she had been quite a fighter against The Righteous Few and WindClan had been a very free-willed Clan. ...Perhaps she had gone out like Finchstar, the leader couldn't be sure. A fitting way to go, at least. Lilacstar however...He didn't know of her. That hadn't been her deputy - at least not before Asylum had arrived. ...Strange. "...Well, then I suppose I will figure things out with Lilacstar then on the full moon. If it was an accident, as you say, then I will find...Some way to ease her temper if it remains." It was hard to make guesses - he didn't know the new leader and he didn't know emotions that well. Would that anger still remain even if Asylum was gone? Would she care now that Thalia was in ShadowClan paws and, if she was lucky, WindClan would rarely have to face her again. ...It was hard to make guesses. "Well, that is if you do wish to join ShadowClan."

"I... I do, yeah," she nodded, surprised at how easily the words came to her. She wasn't sure how she felt about the mud and the marsh, but she thought she could get used to it with time; was intrigued by glimpses of unfamiliar things. She hadn't cared for the moor or the forest, but... The cats she'd met here - all one of them - had been kind, so far. Except that it wasn't just one - Pyrik had been ShadowClan too, wasn't that what he'd said? "I do. I think... I think I could maybe belong here."

She looked up, this time - at the trees, and what she could see of the sky. The clans kept StarClan close to their hearts, didn't they? She wondered if her own ancestors were shining down on her at night. She wondered, too, who they were; if there was a way she could somehow pick and choose who heard her prayers.

She wondered if they were the cats Roe had spoken of, or something else entirely. Did it even really matter? She wasn't sure. "Asylum... Wasn't always Asylum. It was something else, once upon a time. A place of knowledge, something good. I want to try and reclaim that legacy, to keep what we always should have been alive somehow - to try and redeem what I can of what it became. I don't know what they were like, the cats that came before... But I don't think it matters. I want to make it my own, somehow. I want to do something new. And I think that if I want to try to fix what's been broken... I have to stay. I know I want to try."

(She had helped, after all, when she thought it was right. Being misinformed and misguided wouldn't heal what had been hurt, or change the past. She had helped to spill the blood that soaked their history, even if her own was mixed with it.)

Ah good, Thalia was willing to join ShadowClan. He knew he would have...Quite a time speaking with Lilacstar about her but he was certain he could find some way to get her to leave the young she-cat alone - perhaps a promise to keep Thalia from their border would be helpful...And besides, Flintstar didn't want her near the Thunderpath anymore anyways. "Very well then, follow along. And stick close - I do not wish to have to drag you out of marsh if you misplace a pawstep," he rumbled as he turned, leading her deeper into the territory. His ears perked as she explained that Asylum...Wasn't always Asylum and that she wanted to try to be something like...Not-Asylum, for whatever that truly meant. The leader didn't quite understand but he chose to believe her - if Thalia wanted to do good...Then he would willingly give her the chance to find her place within ShadowClan.