Spider and the Lamps [Closed]

She couldn't face him. She knew he had returned but he wasn't the same as he was. He didn't remember them, remember Riverclan and she didn't know if she was ready to face him just yet. She felt bad. Guilty even that she didn't really stop to talk to him yet, but it was for the best.. She didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was.

The gray warrior had seen how scared he was of the others around him when he had initially returned. How the Asylum scared him more. With a sigh, Stormbringer stood and pushed herself forward. She needed to talk to him, if she didn't, she never would. It didn't matter if it would hurt her in the long run. It hurt more not having him in her life, regardless if he wasn't the same. "Spiderquill?" She called out to the tom. Hoping not to startle him. "How are you doing? Settling in well?" She asked him. She knew he wasn't the same so, she wasn't going to mention previous times. She was going to treat him like he was new as best as she could until he could remember. If he could remember.

Dennis stared at the untouched mouse between his hairless paws. He was starving, yet he couldn't bring himself to eat. Ghosts of memories gnawed at his brain, burning haunting images of a motionless Lilypaw into his mind. It was a special kind of The Dark Forest, seeing her die over and over again. No good memories to fall back on, to reminisce about. Just endless blood, and screaming, and that horrid, deafening silence of still lungs. Why did he have to remember this? He would rather remember nothing than remember this. How was it that he couldn't remember his birthplace, his friends, his own mothers, but the very event that started this whole mess in the first place was so fresh in his mind? Why couldn't have he remembered something, anything but poor mangled Lilypaw?

He probably would've sat there all day staring daggers at the dead mouse if it wasn't for Stormbringer.  He knew her name off by heart, as it nestled more comfortably into his memory than many others. That's how he knew she was important, even before he was 'reminded' that she was his mother. Clearly they'd been close, but now all that he could remember when he looked at her was her name and the fact that she'd been avoiding him so far. He didn't blame her. "S-stormbringer. I... Um. Hi. I'm alright, I g-guess." His paws shuffled nervously. Not knowing what to say, he pushed the mouse towards her with a skeletal paw. "Here. I'm not hungry." A lie, but he felt like he'd throw up if he swallowed even a mouthful of food.

"Did you... Did you want to talk about something?"

Stormbringer let out a small sigh as soon as he pushed the mouse towards her. She knew he was wanting to eat it but he just wouldn't. She got it. It was hard sometimes. She pulled it towards her regardless but still couldn't help speaking up about him not eating. "You know you need to eat. You won't stay healthy this way." The warrior froze as soon as she said it. She wasn't his mother anymore. At least not to this version of him.

"Ah.." She said before trying to change the topic. "I.. Well.. I just I know that I haven't exactly talked to you, and finally found the courage to do so after everything, and treat you as well who you are now, and not what I knew of you before. Even if its hard." The former deputy said. She had it out in the open and that is all that mattered now. She was trying.

Dennis flinched a little at the motherly tone. It wasn't unpleasant on its own, it was actually rather comforting, but the fact that he didn't know why it was comforting or what this cat was even like scared him. It was like... It was almost like someone was taking control of his brain. Making him feel the consequences of actions he'd never taken, events he'd never experienced. It made him feel even sicker. So, ironically, Stormbringer telling him to eat made him want to eat even less. He realised he'd been silently sitting there for a while, so he laughed nervously and attempted to cover up his protruding ribs with his leg. "It's alright. I'm sure the others need it more, wouldn't want to impose. I, uh, just ate anyway." Another lie. Had Spiderquill been in the business of bald-faced(heh) lies? He didn't know. And for his mental health, it was probably best he knew nothing about Spiderquill.

He looked up at Stormbringer, amber eyes widened a little in surprise. He hadn't expected his mother, of all cats, to be so accepting of him. The real him, the now him. Not some phantom from his past that he couldn't quite place. Of course, it wasn't that simple; he could hear the pain in her voice, the hesitance. But she was clearly trying, and he awarded her efforts with a pained smile. "I-it's alright. I think... I needed the space. I'm glad you decided to talk to me at all. A few cats are avoiding me, I think." He sighed. "Did they used to do that? Avoid me? It's kept me up at night," 'among other things,' he thought ruefully as he pushed Lilypaw out of his mind, "If I was liked. I've been assured that I was, but..." He looked away, not finishing his sentence. 'But if they liked me, why didn't they come and find me? Why did they leave me to die? If they had come, Lilypaw wouldn't be dead. I wouldn't have gotten lost at all, and we'd both be here. Together.'

At some point, tears had formed in the little tom's eyes and he subconsciously leaned against Stormbringer. Her fur was soft, familiar. He allowed himself a few seconds of pressing himself into her side, fighting the tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

This wasn't how he'd wanted this conversation to go.

She didn't believe him. She could see through his lie but she wasn't going to press on it. Not now. It wasn't her place at least not yet. Maybe one day it would be again. Though the next topic wasn't something she was expecting either, but she wasn't complaining, nor did she mind him leaning into her for comfort. She just remained still, accepting his presence in her fur.

"No. You were kind, and liked. I think they are avoiding you because they don't know how to approach you like I did either." She hoped it was true. She hoped it was just her clanmates being uncomfortable with the great change he had gone through and not some other issue they had with their medicine cat. "If you give them time I'm sure they will come around once they accept the change you have gone through." And if they didn't? Well she didn't know how she would deal with them but she didn't want them hurting him. He didn't deserve it then, and he didn't deserve it now for something he couldn't control.

"If they don't.. Well it doesn't matter. I'm beside you. Spiderquill's ide and whoever it is that you are now, and I will learn who you are just like I did all those moons ago." She hoped those words brought him some comfort.