Shadow of Doubt [Ravenmist]

Smokefeather was curled up, back in her nest in the warriors den after a long, frustrating day of training. It hadn't taken long for Bloodstrike to curl up beside her, and she envied the ease with which the dark tom was able to fall asleep.

Sleep had been eluding Smokefeather as of late, and tonight seemed to be no different. She tried to keep her tossing and turning to a minimum to avoid accidentally waking someone, and tried to keep her mind blank in the hopes that sleep would eventually claim her. Instead, her thoughts kept returning, and the long-furred tortoiseshell found herself wide awake as the moon rose above camp.

Dawnpaw worried her. Beechpaw worried her. They seemed to argue less frequently now that they were apprentices, Wolfcall and Blossomstep were keeping them busy, but they still argued enough, and seldom were they ever friendly with each other. They were quick to argue, and Dawnpaw seemed to have a talent for finding the exact words to push his sister's patience. Not that Beechpaw was the only one losing patience with him more often than not, but Smokefeather felt guilty all the same. Still, the two were doing fine in their training otherwise, and maybe it was unfair, but unless they tried to claw each other's fur off, they were less of a concern than her actual apprentice.

Said apprentice concerned her much more. Primrosepaw was sweet and good-natured, and Smokefeather had been pleasantly surprised at first with how training had gone. The goose that had attacked them at the creek on their first day hunting together had been met with claws, Primrosepaw had good instincts to defend herself. She hadn't immediately ran from the fight, and wanted to learn and do her best. The problem was, Smokefeather... Had no idea how to teach her daughter. Primrosepaw's vision had become noticeably worse in recent weeks, and it was hard to watch her daughter stumble over things that were right in front of her or not see something a bit to the side, just out of her ever-narrowing field of vision. How was Smokefeather supposed to teach her daughter combat effectively? Primrosepaw was slowly becoming more familiar with the forest and of course she knew her way around camp, but Smokefeather was at a loss of how to help her improve when it came to hunting and fighting.

With a quiet sigh, Smokefeather sat up and carefully slipped from her nest. She didn't want to wake Bloodstrike, he had an apprentice too, after all, and had enough to worry about without her adding to it. Hopefully, a walk would clear her head. She couldn't just lay there sleeplessly fretting anymore.

The night was warm and humid, slightly less so than earlier when she'd taken Primrosepaw elsewhere. Smokefeather's mind was elsewhere, more focused on the cream-tabby pointed apprentice. Her daughter was determined to prove herself, but Smokefeather could tell that she too was frustrated with her fading vision. Smokefeather was frustrated too, as much as she tried to hide it. Fighting and hunting were integral to the life of a warrior, and if Primrosepaw couldn't master either, or couldn't defend herself...

Smokefeather shook her head, once more attempting to clear her thoughts, and realized with a start that she was near the border that ran near Highpine. She hadn't actually crossed the border, and so instead turned to follow it. Still, her head turned at the sound of paws across the border uneasily.

Shadowclan? She wondered, fur along her back ruffling. Maybe if she hadn't been so lost in thought...

Ravenmist padded along the border, lost in thought. It seemed every cat was growing up around her. For the first time, she felt old. Not physically, she was as healthy as ever, but she and Daisyflame were the last ShadowClanners she was aware of who remembered the flood. Scorchstar was alive then. Minnowcall was alive then. The Clanmates she had grown up alongside, most of them were long gone, and she was apprenticing their grandchildren, their great-grandchildren.

And yet her body didn't feel old. Perhaps it was the fact that most cats had kits young and died young, and elders could live for many, many moons. Perhaps she had been unlucky, with those close to her. At least she still had Daisyflame.

With a start, she realized the border markings were behind her, and she could scent a SkyClan cat very close. Stupid of her, really. An apprentice mistake a deputy should be embarrassed to make. But, she might as well make the best of the situation. So, she raised her head, facing the SkyClanner, posture neutral, doing her best to keep from anything resembling aggression as she prepared to talk her way back to her side of the border.

Smokefeather made out the dark form of a cat standing a few paces away. Shadowclan scent clung to her, of course, this was the border with them, after all. Ugh, how had she been so inattentive?

"You're trespassing," The pale tortoiseshell commented mildly, flicking an ear at the she-cat. Smokefeather gave herself a quick shake, she really was out of it. Distracted, sloppy of her. The cat seemed vaguely familiar, she thought, maybe Smokefeather had seen her at a gathering? Not that she'd really interacted with anyone outside of her own clan then, Smokefeather found them to be mostly chaotic and a little overwhelming... Stars, how would Primrosepaw fare in the crowds? It was just one more worry on top of a long list of worries.

"Is there a reason you're on Skyclan territory?" Now her voice was a bit sharper, as Smokefeather's wandering mind had finally seemed to catch up with her. She took a step back, now eyeing the cat before her with wary regard. The stranger was looking in her direction, but didn't seem to quite be meeting Smokefeather's eyes. A sign of guilt, perhaps? Smokefeather tensed. If the intruder decided to meet her question with claws, she would defend herself. Smokefeather was hoping it wouldn't come to that, though. She knew how to fight, but not everything needed to end in bloodshed.

Smokefeather could only hope the cat in front of her felt the same and would kindly get off Skyclan's territory, so that she might... Might... What, be left alone with her thoughts? A flash of irritation shot through Smokefeather at the idea, and her gray-green eyes hardened as she gazed at the stranger in front of her.

Focus! She scolded herself.

Ravenmist jumped a bit- the voice told her the other she-cat was closer than she thought. The border scents obscured everything. She figured she might as well try to give an apology and get out of the situation. The border scent was still behind her, a few paces.

"Ah- my apologies. I crossed by mistake."

"Look, I wont attack you, I'm too tired to fight tonight. Just--" Smokefeather had started to respond when once again, her distracted mind processed what she'd been seeing from the Shadowclan she-cat. She'd jumped at Smokefeather's voice, even though the pale tortoiseshell was standing right in front of her. Almost as if she didn't see her... Oh. Oh. Smokefeather's pelt burned hot with embarrassment as the realization hit her.

"You're blind." Oh great Starclan, could the earth open up and swallow her? "Wait- please, I-I'm sorry, I'm a flea-brained furball... I just... could really use someone to talk to. Advice. Nobody else in Skyclan is blind and well... Starclan knows I don't know what I'm doing anymore" Now the fluffy warrior shifted in distinct discomfort. It seemed as though Starclan was providing an answer to her desperate pleas, after all. The Shadowclanner would probably think she was insane, probably ignore  her completely and dart back onto her own side of the border. But Smokefeather had to ask. Smokefeather let out a frustrated breath, words she wanted to say catching painfully in her throat.

"My dau-- apprentice is losing what sight she has left. It wasn't so bad at first, she just couldn't see things that were far off, and her vision was blurry. But recently it's gotten much worse and there's nothing our medicine cat can do. She's struggling and I... don't know how to teach her. I'm not sure which of us is more frustrated, honestly. She's tripping over things, missing prey that would've been an easy catch for her before... And sparring... I'm at a loss of how to help her, at this point." The words left Smokefeather in a rush, and once more she was left doubting and unsure. Was she really spilling her thoughts to a Shadowclan cat? Yes, yes she was, apparently.

"I'm rambling, sorry... You probably weren't expecting this." Smokefeather was all but squirming with embarrassment once more. The she-cat could probably hear the desperation in her voice, the fear of what was happening to Primrosepaw, and the embarrassment burned all the hotter for it.

Ravenmist relaxed as the other she-cat spoke, tail curling with interest. The SkyClanner was tired, and upset, but she needed help. And that wasn't something the deputy could refuse. "Shh, relax, alright? No need to apologize. It seems more blind cats are starting to come up- I was asked something similar not long ago. I just had the luck of being the first blind deputy in the history of the forest. Now, sit down and calm your nerves, and we'll talk. Your apprentice is still young, she can adapt if you know how to teach her."

She padded closer, placing her tail over the younger she-cat's back. Hopefully her calming gesture wouldn't be seen as intrusive. "StarClan had us out tonight for a reason. I'm glad I can help. Have you tried scent drills?"

First blind deputy? The she-cat had to be Ravenmist, then. Smokefeather had seen her at gatherings, but she was generally more inclined to sit and watch than interact with cats from the other clans. Smokefeather dipped her head in respect out of instinct, not that she could see it. The she-cat mentioned having been asked for help recently, and Smokefeather wondered if it had been Wildflower, the Windclan she-cat Bloodstrike had mentioned.

Smokefeather sat, bushy tail wrapping around her front paws. Ravenmist was talking to her, that was good. She'd meant what she said earlier about not wishing to fight, and was glad that the Shadowclanner had decided not to resort to violence either. As she listened to the dark she-cat speak, her posture slowly relaxed as well.

"I've been encouraging Primrosepaw to rely more on her other senses. Hunting is still a bit hit or miss, but she's improving with practice. She knows her way around camp of course, I'm working on getting her more used to navigating around our territory without sight, but she's still prone to tripping over rocks and tree roots, and I'm at a loss of how to really teach her effectively. I'll admit I've been hesitant when it comes to sparring, but I recognize that Primrosepaw needs to learn how to fight and defend herself. I can't keep her sheltered forever even if I wanted to, nor would she let me." A wry note of amusement was evident in Smokefeather's tone with her last sentence. Primrosepaw was determined, and Smokefeather wanted to encourage that. A mother's instinct was to keep her kit sheltered, but Smokefeather wouldn't. She wanted her daughter to succeed, and it seemed as though stepping out of her comfort zone and talking with non-Skyclan cats could help. She had to do this, for Primrosepaw's sake.

"My name is Smokefeather, by the way. This was the last thing I expected when I'd gone for a run to clear my head, honestly."