No Amount Of Fear Will Keep You Safe

[directly after the January medicine cat meeting]

Mothglow had taken her time returning from the Moonstone, knowing that the conversation that awaited her there wasn't one she wanted to have. What she wanted, more than anything, was reassurance; but StarClan had made her understand the futility of that. It didn't matter what she was one false step away from breaking down completely, that they clearly saw feelings as something inconsequential. It didn't matter that StarClan didn't care, because they could force them all to listen.

All her life, StarClan had been a wondrous, mysterious thing; spoken of sparingly and always with reverence. And then she became a medicine cat, and those wonders and mysteries were woven into her day to day. The cats she knew by name were kind to her, and they had taught her well. Their guidance was something she had come to rely on. And then there was this, which seemed so different from the StarClan she had known. How could it be that they were the same?

Eventually she reached her destination - the leader's den. "StarClan has sent us a message," she whispered, not certain her voice would be heard at all over the sounds of the fading night. She wasn't certain she wanted it to be.

Flintshard laid curled in Thornstar's nest, eyes half-open as he gazed off into the corner of the den. With only a single nest, this was the most peaceful place to hide away when the sound of conversations became to much or he just needed an escape. Normally he would be curled in his mother's embrace but she was in the nursery, leaving him to warm her nest alone. There was the faint sound of pawsteps behind him, his ears twitching as the swiveled to focus on it...Followed by a voice. Mothglow. He blinked, eyes regaining focus as he raised his head. StarClan had a message? Ah, right. He pushed himself to his paws, carefully stepping from the nest to not disturb the precious rock that was hidden among the moss. "Thornstar is in the nursery tonight," he meowed as he stepped from the shadows to peer out at the medicine cat. "But come in, we can discuss this...Message in private and I can bring the information to her if need be. Unless you would rather speak of this matter to Thornstar. I understand if that is so" He wouldn't be surprise if Mothglow chose to speak about the message only to Thornstar, she knew the she-cat much better than she knew him and he wasn't leader of ShadowClan after all. He was only the deputy, and that only meant so much.

Also he just generally wasn't the best at talking so at least Thornstar would have more to say on the matter no doubt.

"No, I think it's best not to stress her with this," Mothglow sighed. "You're the deputy, anyway, so it's just as important that you know what's happening." Once he gave the okay, she stepped into the den proper, sinking to the floor and staying there. She wasn't sure what to say, and she didn't really mean for her thoughts to be voiced - but voiced they were. "They don't care about us! Did they ever, or was it all just a lie we all believed because we were too young to know any better?"

It took her a few moments to realize that Flintshard would have absolutely no idea what she was talking about. "I'm sorry. I... At the Moonstone... They appeared to us - all of us - and they gave us a message..." She shared the StarClan cats' warning word-for-word, almost emotionless in her recreation of the scene. The warnings, the threats, and the darkness that surrounded them both. Then, when she was done, she shook her head sadly. "They just... Don't care if they hurt everyone in trying to teach them a lesson!" Whether she believed in that lesson or not wasn't even relevant, was it? What mattered was the harm they could cause in the process. "They don't care, and it doesn't matter that they don't care, because they can apparently throw stars at us when we're not doing whatever they want us to!"

Flintshard blinked, a little surprised that Mothglow deemed him worthy enough to share the information with and stepped to the side to allow her in - returning to his place in Thornstar's nest as the medicine cat started to rave against StarClan. He gave her a strange look at that, surprised by the anger - he had only seen it once before, after Lynxscar had started that fight with SkyClan and ThunderClan and ShadowClan had returned to the camp defeated and humiliated by the deputy's disrespect to Thornstar's words. He settled fully into the nest, keeping his body language alert as Mothglow sheepishly apologized and started to explain what had happened.

StarClan had appeared to all of them? He wasn't well-versed in the knowings of the medicine cat's lives, of how they did their meetings but had gathered from his time in Mothglow's den that it was always a separate affair. Each cat would get their own dream, their own warning or message. To share with all of the cats...That was grave news indeed, wasn't it. He listened as she gave him the prophecy, the message..The threat. His eyes fell to his paws as he mused over the words. The Warrior Code had always been important but Thornstar had always been open to allowing in outsiders - kits or...Well, Cardinalcry. He could faintly remember the day she and Scorchedbird had arrived at the camp seeking safety as nobody else would have them.

"...The Warrior Code exists for a reason," he finally said, raising his gaze a little. "Rules to hold us to - to keep us from being nothing more than lawless loners and honorless rogues," he acknowledged, tilting his head slightly as he went on. "But...Is it their place to make such demands of us? They are of the stars, not the living. Not anymore. Thornstar has never turned her back on those who would be loyal warriors - no matter their birth locations." He fell silent for a heartbeat, wondering what exactly their threat was. 'Without the strength of your clan's ancestors pulsing through your blood...' What would that mean? Perhaps before the last Gathering he would question if StarClan even had such power, they perhaps had knowledge but they were dead. How could they hold sway on the lives of the living but...He had seen the chaos of the Gathering first paw. The howling wind, the cloudy sky expect for the full moon, the shifting star and the lightening bolt...

How far could the Stars go to usher in their demands? How far would they? The deputy sighed, shaking his head as he shifted in the nest, gently kneading at the moss although he attempted not to disturb the nest too much. "...This is dire news, to be certain. If StarClan makes do on their threat, then Cardinalcry would be such a target. She is a good she-cat...A loyal one." He huffed, tail twitching in a rare annoyance. Cardinalcry didn't deserve this, her life had been hard enough with loss after loss. He couldn't relate to the feelings that was weighing her down, he couldn't understand what she was going through but he at least knew that she deserved better. She had a life here - she could be happy here with her kits. There was the slightest pain of worry in his chest at the thought of Frecklepaw, of how she would feel if something was to happen to her mother. His gaze shifted away from Mothglow.

"...I am not the best at guessing other's reactions, at their feelings but...I do assume that Thornstar will not be please with this demand from them. This goes against how she has run the Clan - letting in those like Cardinalcry and Scorchedbird...And Thornstar is a stubborn cat. I question if even the Stars will be able to make her move from her path. And her word is law so what she chooses, I shall follow."

"She's not going to be happy about this, you're right," Mothglow agreed, finally feeling a little better now that she'd shared the weight of this message with someone else. "She's never liked anyone telling her what to do. I don't think she'll change anything because of this." It was a relief, really; that life in ShadowClan was unlikely to change for now. "But I won't just follow her decisions blindly, either. Her word may be law, but that doesn't mean she's always right. After all, she made Lynxscar her deputy, and we all remember how that went. Then again... She also picked you." Maybe the same was true of StarClan. They had walked among the living once, hadn't they? What made them so different, other than living among the stars and seemingly having the power to summon stars and lightning as they pleased?

Maybe someday she would understand. That was a mystery that had, so far, eluded her.

Flintshard nodded softly, already certain that his mother wouldn't eagerly accept this change of rules. There was a moment of hesitation thought when Mothglow brought up Lynxscar, dwelling on the memory of his mentor. Another cat he failed to understand the reasoning behind. Lynxscar had been a good warrior, a loyal deputy. Or at least...He had seemed to be. But yet he had disregarded Thornstar's law, had apparently attacked her when she chose to remove him and had fled from the Clans instead of facing the rest of them. A soft hum escaped him as Mothglow soon brought up him being deputy as being a right choice.

He was certain he wouldn't fail where Lynxscar had but yet he had to question if he was truly the best choice. He was not a speaker, he hated having to perform so many ceremonies but it was his duty. He had no charisma that other cats had so effortlessly - he hadn't spoken a word to the other deputies other than to snap at the ThunderClan one to shut up. But yet some cats seemed to like him...For some reason. That was perhaps the most confusing things of all - when cats seemed to enjoy his presence despite how abrasive he could be, of how...Cold he was. He wasn't sure if he was meant to be a deputy, but he wasn't about to let this be another bad choice on Thornstar's part. He could grow into it, do what he hated for her sake. He did pause to dwell on Mothglow's promise to think for herself. "...I can respect that," he finally said with a slight nod of his head. "Other voices are important, are they not? To make sure you are not blinded by your own decisions. I will keep that in mind, take the time to find where I stand on this issue. I shall bring up this...Message to Thornstar the next time I see her to give my reports," he added with a nod of his head.

OOC: End of topic~