Seeking Paths to Cross [closed]

The golden tabby had spent a few days in the neutral grounds near Fourtrees after she left her friend, Mossbloom, with some final words of goodbye. Amberdawn felt it a little harder to leaver ThunderClan's forest than she'd thought it would be, though not because of her ineptitude in the thick foliage. No, she was going to miss Mossbloom. Though the bridge was not burned and the bond was not broken, it was damaged with her departure from Clan life, and no amount of love and understanding would really be able to change it. Only time would be able to mend the things which had been hurt. Amberdawn had said and done everything she could say, and it was in Mossbloom's paws to forgive and come to peace with it... or not. Faith in their friendship was all that they had to go on. The former medicine cat prayed it was enough.

There was one more friendship that Amberdawn wanted to test, to mend if needed, before she could truly leave. That required her to travel to ShadowClan, and though she'd done it a few times by now, the Gathering and the Medicine Cat Meeting had passed since the she-cat had abandoned SkyClan. She had known that Mossbloom and ThunderClan would be welcoming, but she wasn't certain how ShadowClan was faring since... everything. Amberdawn and Mothpaw had drifted apart under the weight of their struggles, and she hoped that her friend was doing alright now. Her Clan, too. As the golden tabby made her way through ShadowClan's territory, she tried to make noise - anything to be obvious and make it clear she wasn't sneaking. In ThunderClan she'd called out, but she was focusing too hard on traveling here to have the breath to really yell.

A familiar scent hit Amberdawn's nose through the sharpness of the marsh, and the she-cat gasped and grinned, breathing, "Yes, thank you StarClan." The bright tabby rounded a bend to see a familiar large, dark she-cat. "Mothpaw? I-I'm not trying to intrude, it's just me, Amberdawn," she explained, unable to prevent a look of relief from slipping into her eyes as she looked hopefully towards her friend.

"Amberdawn...?" Mothpaw asked softly, wondering if she'd imagined the familiar voice on the wind. She was out in search of herbs, in theory, but moreso she was searching for a little bit of peace and clarity. It felt like one moment everything was fine, more or less, and the next almost everything she loved had been ripped out from under her paws. "Please, StarClan, don't be playing tricks on me," she whispered. She wasn't sure she could take it, if that were the case.

But it wasn't a trick, proven when ShadowClan's only medicine cat blinked her eyes once - then twice, then three times - and Amberdawn was still standing before her. Without any further thoughts or doubts, Mothpaw bounded forward. The rest of her thoughts and worries and sadness were all pushed out of her mind in that moment, to focus solely on the cat in front of her. "Amberdawn! What happened? Are you okay?"

The she-cat before her perked up almost immediately, head swinging to face Amberdawn. The SkyClan medicine cat - no, former medicine cat - felt just a brief moment of uncertainty as Mothpaw waited, staring with disbelief. The ShadowClan cat's confusion soon cleared to relief and then interest, and suddenly Mothpaw was bounding forward towards Amberdawn. Visibly relaxing, her shoulders dropping a little, the golden tabby cat helped to close the distance until they were face to face. Amberdawn wished to rush in and give her friend an affectionate nuzzle, but Mothpaw launched directly into asking questions.

"Oh, Mothpaw, I'm so glad to be able to see you. I had... to leave SkyClan," Amberdawn explained shortly, scuffing her paw a little and looking the dark tabby over. "I missed the Gathering, and the medicine cat meeting... How much did you hear? Did... Tinystar mention the trial?" she asked, and as much as she wanted to answer Mothpaw's questions, she just had to know what her friends had been told about her disappearance.

"Um... Not a lot? I've been... Distracted," Mothpaw admitted quietly. It wasn't unusual for her attention to wander, true, but the tone of her words carried the implication of pain. Still, she thought back to the Gathering, through the haze of the last several days. "Yes, he mentioned a trial... And I think he said he lost a life?" Honestly, the entire situation seemed to blur together in her mind - accusations of murder and apparent repentance that (as far as she was aware) had no bearing on her life, but seemed to be a popular talking point at the last couple of Gatherings.

Suddenly, something occurred to her. Something that, in that context, felt strange. "But no one mentioned where you'd gone...?"

When Mothpaw said that she'd been distracted, Amberdawn believed it. She sighed a little and took a step back, looking at her friend with a subtle curiosity. The ShadowClan cat looked tired, and her voice was heavy; she didn't carry herself with her usual brightness. Amberdawn made a soft, sympathetic murmuring sound as Mothpaw continued vaguely about how Tinystar had mentioned a trial and that he'd lost a life. The tabby cat nodded a little to confirm what Mothpaw had heard. Then Mothpaw noted that mention of Amberdawn had been... absent.

"I see," Amberdawn said, her tail flicking with the slightest annoyance. Well, of course he wouldn't want everyone to know he's lost the support of a StarClan-chosen medicine cat. Perhaps that was how she'd explain it. "At... At the last half-moon meeting, a StarClan cat told me that the execution of Sparrowpaw wasn't going to be ignored. Blood will spill blood for the blood that was spilled; when a life for life is given, then justice will be fulfilled. I didn't know it until the trial, but... as soon as I knew I could've said something. Maybe I should've...

but I didn't. When I realized StarClan had called someone else to bring Tinystar to justice, I remembered they told me, Perhaps your blood isn't involved - perhaps it never was, and perhaps it never needs to be. I realized they were right. I testified against Tinystar, and when they went to execute him I... left." She looked at Mothpaw and said, a little less sadly than she expected to sound, "I'm no longer a Clan cat."

"I see," Mothpaw said softly. She wondered, briefly, how she'd have responded if it had been Scorchstar's life on trial for something similar; and swiftly arrived to the conclusion that she did not envy Amberdawn in the slightest, all her own conflicted feelings about family aside. The talk of StarClan's cryptic messages and executions were serious, of course, but... Amberdawn's declaration of no longer being a Clan cat took Mothpaw by surprise and commanded her attention; and she felt a hint of herself slip back in as she launched into questions, her curiosity now firmly locked on her friend. "Really? Where will you go now, then, if you're not a Clan cat anymore?" She hoped that the unspoken question - Where can I find you? - carried through, as well.

Mothpaw's response was soft; short. There was much less outward reaction than when Amberdawn had explained to Mossbloom. Then again, she'd told the story differently. She started at the beginning of everything and walked through Mintwhisker's murder and absence and Tinystar's execution and Burningsun's trial and the actions that lead up to Sparrowpaw's execution. She wondered if she needed to go more in depth, but her answer seemed to have been mostly satisfactory to the dark she-cat - though a bit saddening. Mothpaw really did seem to understand that the decision was final and necessary in some way.

Then the ShadowClan she-cat asked where she'd go, and Amberdawn shuffled her paw slightly. "I'm going to Twolegplace," she admitted. She took in a deep breath, her shoulders lifting high and then dropping again as she heaved out a sigh. "I can't stay in my own Clan, my heart could never allow me to serve another, I'm not skilled enough to live on my own... I have met a few cats, kittypets or loners, who've told me a little about twolegs and the Twolegplace... I think it's my best hope." She gazed into Mothpaw's vibrant eyes, wondering what her friend thought.

Memories of her time in the Twolegplace made Mothpaw shudder. The foaming-mouthed fox... "If that's where you're going, be careful," she advised. "I was lost there once, with Silent Snows and some cats from the other Clans. It was scary, and dangerous... But it was also the first time I really had cats I could call my friends. Maybe it only makes sense that eventually one of my friends would go back, even if she wasn't there back then." She paused, looking down, but when she looked up at her friend again she was smiling. "...I'd hate to come visit you only to find you were gone. So stay safe. But I think you should do what makes you happy, and if you're not going to be happy in the Clans anymore... Then that's that, right?"

The ShadowClan cat's response wasn't wholly supportive, but Amberdawn hadn't really expected it to be. What she didn't expect, however, was for Mothpaw to have had experience with the twolegplace herself. The dark she-cat described being lost and afraid, but she explained how she had found true friendship there as well. At least that helped to kindle the small hope in Amberdawn's heart. Mothpaw was quiet for a long moment, but before the runaway could fear a coming protest the she-cat looked up again with a smile.

Amberdawn was surprised by the words of confidence, yet it was good to see the unhindered confidence and whimsy for which she had come to love the ShadowClan cat. "That's how I feel. It's reassuring that you came to the same conclusion," Amberdawn replied with a sigh of relief. Her golden face softened, and she said, "Oh, it has been so wonderful getting to be your teacher and your friend, Magnificent Mothpaw. I will really miss you. Do you mean it, about maybe visiting...?"

"Of course I do!" Mothpaw exclaimed. "How else will I know you're doing alright for yourself? I'll come and find you, eventually; and I probably won't stay but I'll be there to see you," she promised. Amberdawn deserved something to look forward to, after all; and she meant every word, anyway. "I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for."

The former medicine cat was further reassured by her friend's emphatic response. Amberdawn chuckled a little and answered, "Oh, Mothpaw, that means so much to me - I'd never dream of asking you to stay, but just seeing you there... I'll find a way to let you know where I am." I don't know how I'll do that if I don't know where I'll be, but we'll just have to see, she added to herself. The medicine cat took a step forward to press her forehead into Mothpaw's thick shoulder for. "I'm really going to miss you, Mothpaw - you're a wonderful medicine cat. You're... You're a really amazing cat."

She took a step back and smiled, looking into her friend's glimmering eyes. "Thank you for being my apprentice. I hope... I hope I did enough. You did," Amberdawn said warmly.

"I think you've done more than enough," Mothpaw replied, meaning every word from the bottom of her heart. "You've been my friend. That's all I could ever ask for. And you've been a great mentor, too!" She was quiet for a moment, searching for the right words before speaking again. "You deserve to be happy. So you should do the things that will make you happy. I'm sorry that's not here anymore, but... There's nothing anyone can do about it now. You have to do what's best."

A few moments later, she added something more. It all felt so... Final, and she didn't want it to. "But I'm not going to say goodbye to you, 'cause I'm going to see you again! So... See you later, Amberdawn. Maybe a lot later, I don't know yet... But I will! I'll even bring you a frog or something!"

Amberdawn felt her eyes grow wet with tears at Mothpaw's heartfelt response. She worried about leaving her friend now, after all they'd been through - separately and together - and receiving her support and praise meant the world. When a moment of silence passed, the large ShadowClan she-cat said a few more words: she believed her friend deserved to be happy, wherever that happiness took her. Amberdawn ducked her head slightly, feeling humbled by the she-cat's understanding. When she raised her head again her dark amber eyes met Mothpaw's glinting orange ones, there was a bittersweet happiness between them.

Mothpaw told her not to say goodbye - that they would see each other again soon. Amberdawn smiled warmly and took a step towards Mothpaw, resting her forehead on her friend's for just a moment before taking a step back. "I'm looking forward to it," Amberdawn replied with a purring laugh. She took another step back, and a deep breath. "I'll see you later, Mothpaw. May StarClan light your path, always."

Then the golden tabby turned with one final smile and wave of her tail, and then she began to make her way towards the Thunderpath which would, eventually, guide her to twolegplace... her new home.