..I'm Back Where the Rivers Roar {CLOSED}

Home.
I'm home.

Scintillating shimmers danced upon the surface as the turbulent waters raced along their course. A bleak breeze swept upon the shore, caressing her pelt as it welcomed her. Shafts of illumination descended from the Sun, embracing her back with a blithe warmth. Glittering sparkles blazed beneath her reflection, as she sighted, for the first time in moons, the distinguishing scales of minnows and pikes and trouts.

RiverClan.

Her veins were pumping furiously, her heart was pounding relentlessly, and apprehension darted through her rapidly, as she dared step paw into the reeds. The chalky surface tickled her sensitive paws as her gaze surveyed her surroundings, observing and collecting a map of golden infomation. Which side of the border should I enter through..? Where are the patrols sent? Were there even any patrols at this time? Oh, StarClan, I've already forgotten..
Should I even enter at all?

It was time..
But am I ready?

Lithe form drenched with trickles of frigid waterdrops from the dampened sludge, Featherpaw, quivering pitifully with apprehension, inserted one delicate paw into the harsh torrent. It was strange, she had noted the oddly swollen river, its levels had seemed to impact everywhere she stepped with moisture. The current lashed at her pads, but the physical infliction could never overpower her yearning for familiar faces..

Plumy tail shivering, blunt claws unsheathed with disquietude, and stomach fluttering with evident unease, Featherpaw glanced across the river. Home. RiverClan. I'm home.. I'm here.
Her eyes widened in despair as an abrupt thought striked at her mind, causing her to retract her paw swiftly. Am I even RiverClan anymore? After all these moons... I don't deserve to be accepted..
Perhaps I should just wait for someone. Anyone.
I hope they're still here.

Time advanced at an agonising pace. Maybe I should turn back, back to where I belong. Maybe I should just turn away and become a loner again.
Maybe they know I'm here and are just waiting for me to leave.
Maybe they don't want me within their ranks anymore.

Am I even doing the right thing?
...
..of course I am.
I could never bear to not ever see their faces again.

...
But what will they think?

---

《ooc》:

Dappleshine lead the small patrol as they made their way to the outer edge of the territory, refreshing the marking occasionally as they circled the far edge. After Jaystar's death, it seemed that sickness had claimed many... Including a cat who had once been her dearest, closest friend. She had watched from afar, too afraid to approach Magpiepaw in fear of being turned away again. By the time she finally got past that fear, he was too far gone. The cough took him the same way that it had taken her mentor, Larkfeather, and she had never gotten the chance to make amends. Stars, she had tried. But he always turned her away, and now he was gone.

She had been numb when she heard the news, no tears falling from her eyes. She was too tired, too hollow to cry anymore, she had shed enough tears for an entire lifetime, perhaps two. When would the grief and leaving stop? Would it ever? She padded absently until a strange smell, and an odd sight on the edge of the border between RiverClan and the rest of the surrounding territory. She focused in on the figure of a she-cat, and after taking in her posture she approached, remaining cautious as she called out. "Hello there, stranger. What brings you here?" There was something odd about this, most intruders weren't aware or didn't pay any attention to the border, but this cat seemed to recognize where it was and what it meant by not intruding.

In different circumstances, Mudpaw might have thought it an honor to be assigned to patrol alongside a pair of warriors as experienced as Heronflight and Dappleshine. Today, Mudpaw thought nothing of the sort. The solemnity that had settled over RiverClan’s camp fell over their patrol as well. Though it wasn’t surprising, Mudpaw was still distinctly uncomfortable as she padded along, paying more attention to the territory than the cats she was patrolling with. Once or twice, she caught herself wishing Honeypaw had been able to join them; since their talk some sunups ago, Mudpaw had decided the older apprentice was something like a friend. At the very least, Honeypaw would have understood Mudpaw’s discomfort.

Dappleshine’s voice broke the silence and Mudpaw’s daze. The calico looked up to see a stranger, of all things, waiting quietly beside the river. Immediately, her hackles rose. Long silver fur, a pawful of scars. She had gotten to know her Clanmates since the start of her apprenticeship, and this was not one of them; the unfamiliar scent made that even clearer. Her eyes narrowed to slits, Mudpaw stopped beside Dappleshine. She wasn’t about to start a fight, especially given her present company, but she hoped her stance made it clear she wasn’t afraid of some drypaw rogue if it came to that. Her tail waved steadily behind her.

Heronflight padded along with his clanmates, looking to help his clan, but he ended up thinking about what happened to Larkfeather. It was so surprising to see his son perish in front of his own eyes, but he knew to move on. This loss pained him more than the ones before, however. Perhaps it was not just Larkfeather’s death he was feeling, but the pain from Jaystar, Wrenbreeze, and Spotfur’s deaths snowballing into his son’s demise.

Eventually, he spotted the rogue, glaring at her as an attempt to drive her away. Then, he realized something by watching her movements. This cat wasn’t carelessly walking into RiverClan territory. She deliberately padded into RiverClan territory, because there is no other reason why a rogue would stand on the border of RiverClan territory, unless by pure chance. And since he had never seen a rogue on the RiverClan borders, he thought that she did this on purpose. Another thought creeped his mind, confusing the gray tom quickly.

She looked... familiar. Not like a familiar rogue, but a former clanmate. He could remember a cat who looked just like her, and her name was... Flowerpaw? Frostpaw? The gray tom couldn’t remember, but the cat looked just like an apprentice who left RiverClan and never came back. Or if his crazy theory was right, never came back until today.

"Hello there, stranger. What brings you here?"

Featherpaw had been temporarily oblivious to everything, with her overpowering apphrehension completely engulfing her mind. The voice pierced through the silence and promptly snapped the quivering loner out of her inattention.
Assembled by the border, studying her intently, was a patrol. A patrol - a patrol of RiverClan cats. Instantaneously, a flickering ember fluttered in her chest, composed of mixed feelings of alarm, ecstasy and pertubation. It had been too long.

Two warriors and one apprentice. A silvery-gray pelt with splashed with white, a dilute calico pelt with puddles of maroon-umber, and an.. oddly familiar silver-smoke tabby. Her ears began to flatten with distress as she observed the apprentice's blatantly hostile stature, but she restrained herself from displaying any further signs of doubt.

"I-I-" she began to sputter, before inwardly scolding herself. She was better than this - and she'd promised herself that she would remember. Taking a deep breath, she resumed her introduction, reminding herself to keep it discreet, "Hello. I... I don't know how to say this. I know I'm a stranger, but..." she hesitated, her voice lowering with diffidence, "I've returned to RiverClan, because... I am a RiverClan cat. O-or, at least, I-I used to be."

"M-my name is Featherpaw. I left RiverClan... moons ago. I-I came back to... to..." A strange lump began to form in her throat, choking her. Little jewels began to form in her eye, threatening to spill. This wasn't how it was supposed to go! I was supposed to stay calm, and now I'm acting like a kit! StarClan, help me...

"P-please, if it's alright, could I please come with you?"

"I-I want to go home."

Dappleshine eyed the newcomer carefully as she spoke, claiming she had once been a RiverClan cat. She had never seen her before... But her name, Featherpaw, fit. And she clearly had some knowledge of the borders, otherwise she wouldn't have remained on the far side of them. A low hum rattled in her chest as she continued to gaze over at the she-cat, but then she noticed the sparkling in the corner of the supposed apprentice's eyes.

Immediately her gaze softened, and despite the she-cat being most likely older than she was, she couldn't help but want to comfort her. Torrentstar's words at the last Gathering echoed in the back of her mind, and she hesitated for only a moment before nodding. "I make no promises about what waits for you back at camp, but we will escort you there so you can find out for yourself. Torrentstar can be very strict.... But we'll get you to him. Have you traveled far, Featherpaw?" She mewed as she waited for the she-cat to reach the group and then motioned for Heronflight to take one flank, and Mudpaw to lead the way back to camp. This would be a good lesson for her, as well as good practice navigating the riverbed.

The rogue began to explain herself in a quiet, hesitant manner, sounding every bit as nervous as anyone facing three RiverClanners should be. Mudpaw did not relent; if anything, her eyes narrowed further still. Returned to RiverClan? Sure enough, the rogue claimed a Clan name—Featherpaw—and said she’d left moons ago, presumably before Mudpaw was born. The growing strain in her voice was convincing, as was her respect of RiverClan’s borders, but Mudpaw’s mind was set. Clan naming conventions weren’t difficult to mimic—and the rogue had gotten it wrong anyway, she was far too old to be a ‘paw.

Except when Mudpaw looked up, she realized Dappleshine had accepted Featherpaw’s story. Undisguised shock flashed across the apprentice’s face. She knew Dappleshine probably had a reason for thinking the way she did, but this was a stranger! In RiverClan’s camp!

Mudpaw took two steps in the direction Dappleshine had pointed. If she let this go, she would get to lead the patrol back to camp; after moons of following warriors around the territory, it sounded like a refreshing change. Besides, she had a decent grasp of the ins and outs of RiverClan by now. And yet… ”Wait.” She hadn’t realized just how badly she wanted to speak up until the word tumbled out of her mouth. Turning to face Featherpaw, paws digging into the soft earth of the riverbank, she continued. ”Anyone can call themselves a Clan cat. How do we know she’s not lying?”

”M-my name is Featherpaw.  I left RiverClan... moons ago.”

Heronflight was right.  She was from RiverClan, and left moons ago.  And her name was Featherpaw... that’s a name he remembered even at his old age.  She seemed uneasy, perhaps anxious, about the RiverClan patrol coming to meet her.  It was also pretty obvious that she was scared by Mudpaw’s accusations.  The gray tabby whispered to Mudpaw, "I recognize this cat, Mudpaw, as a former apprentice.  Everything she says is true about a missing apprentice we had, who was named - Featherpaw."  
The gray tabby continued, "The likelihood of a random rogue trying to get into a clan just happening to look like a missing cat, make up a random name that just happened to be the name of that exact cat, and know which clan that missing cat came from - let alone knowing the territory extremely well - is basically impossible."  He knew Mudpaw had every right to be suspicious, as the apprentice wasn't sure who this cat was and a warrior was just letting them in as a former clanmate.  When the gray tabby was her age, he would have behaved the same way...

When the declaration was made that she would be escorted to camp, a shivery tingle rippled within her. Instantly a feeling of elation sprouted inside Featherpaw, displayed by the abrupt spark shimmering in her eyes. However, her internal jubilation was short-lived. When the warrior alerted her that "Torrentstar can be very strict," it was if lightning struck her. "T-Torrentstar..?" she echoed, her breath barely audible. What about Jaystar..? Or even Scorchclaw? Torrentstar... that was an unfamiliar name. Could both the leader and deputy have been.. killed? What disaster ensued while I had been away? Have I really been gone for that long..?

In her dismayed unease, she nearly failed to notice the she-cat's question. Blinking rapidly to eliminate her state of shock, she glanced up and slipped a strained smile onto her face. "Thank you, thank you so much!" she crooned, the glimmer in her eyes kindling slightly, "I'm very grateful. I suppose I have... I've travelled for a few days, b-but I've finally reached my destination."

She had begun to insert her paw into the swirling gush when the apprentice voiced a wary suspicion, "Anyone can call themselves a Clan cat. How do we know she's not lying?"
Featherpaw froze, paw now suspended over the current, and gazed at the she-cat. Her hackles bristled, barely noticeable, but with trepidation rather than hostility. However, she quickly modified her demeanor, realising that her uncertainty may be interpreted as bitter tension. She had learned her lesson, and she was not about to commit the same mistakes. Her eyes flickered towards the streaming water, a slight smile on her face. "T-That's alright - you have every right to be cautious. I-I promise, I'm no threat." She directed her warm beam towards the apprentice, attempting to reinforce the fact that she indeed did not mean any harm. Afterall, those moons of contemplation had allowed her to forge her true identity.

As she was about to cross the river, the other warrior spoke in her defense. Then Featherpaw recognised his voice. Then her eyes widened in a dazed realisation of the presence of a familiar Clanmate. Featherpaw observed him, clarifying that it was definitely him. She couldn't believe she hadn't recognised him before. Although their interactions had been very brief, a vivid memory flashed in her head. They had once battled an eagle together, how could she forget? "Thank you, Heronflight," she purred, her trill evidently tinted with the delight of remeeting a Clanmate.

Drawing her eyes back, Featherpaw immersed her weight into the bloated river. It was clear that the level was quite higher than she was used to - the current was relentless aginst her fragile frame. Momentarily she thrashed, brief panic flaring in her chest, as she attempted to readjust her position to flow along the torrent. It had been moons since she had tried to cross a river as wide as this. Sure, she had fished during her time as a loner, but it was often by the edge of the riverbed and by small rivulets and streams. But she was absolutely resolved on overcoming this challenge. If she couldn't swim across the river, how could she be labelled a RiverClan cat?
She changed her rhythm, paws padelling with as much force as she could muster, as she navigated the powerful tides. Eventually, determination lead to success as she reached the riverbed. Featherpaw slithered onto the pebbly edge and approached the patrol, a sheepish smile plastered to her face.

The look of shock on the she-cat's face did not go unnoticed, and Dappleshine quickly responded. "Jaystar passed into StarClan not very long ago, saving one of our warriors from what was most likely certain death. Scorchclaw received the leader name of Torrentstar during his ceremony, I can explain more later after you speak with him, if you'd like." The glimmer in the she-cat's eyes had returned a tiny bit, and Dappleshine mewed kindly. "You're welcome. Again, Torrentstar will have the final say, but I welcome you to RiverClan territory for the time being."

Mudpaw's voice spoke up suddenly, and Dappleshine turned her gaze down to the apprentice, eyes gleaming with curiosity. She was just preparing to respond with Heronflight leaned down and explained that he knew this she-cat, piecing together the missing knowledge of the younger generation. Good, Dappleshine thought, relief washing over her. Someone recognized this cat, and could voucher for her more than just the simple belief that she wasn't lying. The she-cat on the far side of the river confirmed this knowledge by looking up with wide eyes towards the older warrior, calling him by name.

The silver-furred stranger, Featherpaw, then stepped into the bloated river, and Dappleshine watched with bated breath as she flailed. Just as she prepared herself to jump in and help her, the she-cat got her paws under control and made her way across the river. It may not have been very pretty, or elegant, but if it had been so long Dappleshine imagined it wouldn't be. Applauding the she-cat's determination and resolve as she reached the shore, she padded over to her side and offered her a shoulder up. "Welcome back," she whispered, making sure she was steady on her paws. "You did a fine job, let's get you to camp so you can see Torrentstar. Mudpaw, can you lead the way and let Torrentstar know we're coming?"

Mudpaw met Featherpaw’s insistence that she wasn’t a threat and the smile that accompanied it with a neutral expression. Before the calico could go on in the same fashion, Heronflight leaned down to whisper something to her. According to him, Featherpaw was telling the truth; he claimed to recognize her, and further explained how everything lined up too perfectly to be a coincidence. Featherpaw had a Clan name (even if she was too old for it in Mudpaw’s opinion), the pelt of a cat who had held that name, and enough knowledge of RiverClan’s territory not to cross into it. Furthermore, Featherpaw knew Heronflight’s name without asking. It was compelling evidence in her favor.

Had Featherpaw not entered the river at that exact moment, it might have swayed Mudpaw. But that wasn’t how things had gone, and Mudpaw remained unconvinced as Featherpaw thrashed in the water like a bird trapped in a puddle. She’d never thought a RiverClanner could forget how to swim. Though she’d learned only recently, the knowledge had already burrowed into her head and her legs, as natural as breathing and crouching and tossing fish onto the shore even when she wasn’t running through the steps. That was how it was supposed to be.

Apparently finding a rhythm, Featherpaw crossed the rest of the river without assistance and made her way onto the riverbank. Mudpaw stepped back as she approached, but said nothing. Though Featherpaw's story and Heronflight's explanation lined up, Featherpaw's reception in camp would be the thing that sealed Mudpaw's opinion one way or the other. If someone else knew her, it would be enough. Again, Dappleshine asked her to lead them home; this time, Mudpaw did. After taking stock of her surroundings to remind herself of the way back to camp, she padded away, directing her older Clanmates and Featherpaw to follow with a flick of her tail the way she’d seen other patrol leaders do.