Let the Current Carry Me Away (closed)

It was time. The glow of the sunset was beginning to settle on the reeds and glisten in the waters of the stream nearby, the lull of a green-leaf day's ending settling over the camp. Thick with the smell of another day's passing, the air barely stirred, only a slight breeze touching the willow's trailing branches. Distantly, a frog began to call, its pulsing peep blending into the bird song echoing over still waters. Babbling streams gently spilled over rocks, almost filling the silence between occasional words spoken by Clanmates.

Minkpaw took a deep breath from where he sat. A kind of nervousness had settled in his stomach, sitting there like a slimy frog ready to leap. But at the same time, steely determination had stiffened in his spine, filling him with an almost iron-hard certainty. I don't belong here. Here, beneath the willow's branches. Here, where the river babbled with the faint echoing laughter of long-distant days. No, here was no longer his place. The words of Mottledspark seemed to whisper through his mind in that moment, as he watched these last moments, feeling as though he was a stranger sitting on the edge. Loyalty.... I'm not one of them. I never have been.

Without his family, the ones who had always been there for him, he was cut adrift. The son of a loner, and a Clan cat, neither one and never fully accepted by either.

Sparkling green eyes set in a black-furred face crossed his mind as he stood, and he felt a tingle run through his paws. Another life, another place with cats he knew and had grown with awaited. He padded across the clearing, feeling each step familiar as the blood running through his veins, and yet new. A flash of grey fur caught his eye as he moved to the entrance, and he paused as he caught sight of Dappleshine. Almost instantly, a spark of guilt ignited under his pelt. The she-cat had helped when no else bothered, she'd brought him back to himself when he had nothing left. Someone should know I'm gone.... But could he face her when everyone else she knew had already left or seemingly forgotten about her? He unintentionally caught her eyes for a moment as he hesitated, but quickly broke the contact, turning back to the entrance.

With a gentle brush of fur against the reeds at the entrance, he slipped out onto the marshes.

She had been quietly soaking in the last rays of the setting sun when a feeling began to tingle down her spine. Concern flashed through her, especially after a quick glance around showed that it wasn't a water droplet or curious kit this time causing it. Looking out further, she noticed Minkpaw positioned by the entrance to camp. Their eyes met, and she gave him a small smile, naturally assuming that he was preparing for the sunset patrol. Something in his gaze seemed off though, especially the quick way he broke it. His tail slipped through the reeds, disappearing from sight as Dappleshine stood, and a realization hit her. The evening patrol had already left, quite a while ago at that.

Hurriedly she made her way to the reeds, passing through them as well and into the marshy landscape beyond. The familiar back of Strom was padding away, seemingly with a purpose, and she followed after it. The distance closed quickly as her paws left ripples in the marsh water. Once she was close, she spoke out, keeping her voice low. "Minkpaw? Where are you going? Is everything okay?" Concern colored her words, painting them a shade darker than normal.

As his paws passed over marshy water, a sound from behind caught his ear. Almost immediately afterwards, a voice called quietly, concern tingeing its tone. Minkpaw hesitated, his paws stopping in the wet earth as he turned to face Dappleshine's questioning gaze.

"I...." A dozen different answers passed through his head. You know what you have to do. He couldn't keep this from her. StarClan knew he had too little to throw away what he had left. And one of the only friends he trusted, and still had left was too much to lie to. "No, it's not." He let out a quiet breath, his shoulders sagging slightly as he met her gaze. Suddenly, he was tired of keeping secrets, of pretending everything was alright when it wasn't.

"I'm leaving," He said simply.

Dappleshine froze as her friend turned, hesitating. As soon as she saw his eyes, she knew. She had seen the look in their depths before, when speaking to Sparkfrost. Her ears swiveled slightly to aim behind her, ensuring no other cat had followed them. Almost in unison, she spoke with him.

"You're leaving."

After a long moment of silence, she took a deep breath, shoulders sagging. A million questions ran through her head. Where was he going? Why was he leaving? Had she done something wrong? None of these questions were asked, at least, not yet. "Will I ever see you again?" She mewed softly, gazing at her friend with sadness in her eyes, but there was other emotions as well. Acceptance, and understanding. She stepped forward, touching her nose to his gently before stepping back into the marshy water. "If not, I'll remember you always. I hope you find what you're looking for, and that you're happy... Wherever it is that you go. Please know that you'll always have a friend in me, Minkpaw.... Or is there another name you'd prefer I use?"

Minkpaw held Dappleshine's gaze as she echoed his words, guilt flickering inside him. But even through the heartbreaking questions and sadness shining in her eyes, he could see the acceptance and understanding there. She mightn't have know the exact reasons nor the emotions behind him leaving, but she understood enough to let him go.

Oddly, that just made him feel worse. I can't turn back now. He tried to give her a reassuring smile at the question as her nose gently touched his, but even he knew it looked anything but. "I hope so."

She stepped back, her paws leaving ripples in the marshy water as it reflected the light of the dying day. The distance between them suddenly seemed larger, a rift splitting down between them. No. Even if we never see each other again, she's still my friend. That will never change. Her own words echoed the sentiment, and he felt a weight slide off his shoulders as he met her eyes, studying her face as if trying to memorize it.

At her last words, a small, genuine smile came onto his muzzle, edged with a sort of bittersweetness. Yes, there was another name she could use, and once he would have told her to. But now... I'm not a kit trying to figure out which cat he is, which name he belongs to, anymore. Once, he had struggled with it; a double identity he couldn't see beyond, or escape. Name or heritage doesn't matter. I'm still just... a cat. One trying to find somewhere, something.

He let the smile edge up one side of his muzzle, becoming lopsided. "...No. Minkpaw is my name, even if it's only one of them. But once I'm gone you'll know which one I'm using."

For a moment, he hesitated, looking at her face one last time, the orange-streaked sky reflecting in her eyes and in the water around her paws. Those eyes that held a tinge of tiredness in them that he knew didn't come from lack of sleep. "If you ever feel you can't find a place to stay... There's somewhere beyond the horizon, where the wind blows through the grass. That's where I'm going."

"I hope so." Minkpaw responded, and Dappleshine knew that she hoped for the same. Even if it wasn't the next sunhigh, or even in the next moon, she hoped that someday StarClan would cross their paths again. Who knew what they had in store, she had no idea any more. So many twists in the road had occurred that she wasn't even sure where she wanted to be herself.

His genuine smile, even edged with bitterness, was one that she hadn't seen. Not in a long time. One side edged higher than the other, and with this crooked grin he confirmed that his name was still Minkpaw, although he reassured her that she would know which he would be using once he was gone. There was a moment where they both lingered, looking at each other for what could be the last time, though Dappleshine hoped that would not be the case.

"If you ever feel you can't find a place to stay... There's somewhere beyond the horizon, where the wind blows through the grass. That's where I'm going." Dappleshine nodded, smiling as the familiar sensation of tears welling in her eyes came. "I'll always remember, Minkpaw. And if you ever need a listening ear, to tell your woes or victories to, I'll be... I'll be around."

What was the moment of hesitation? Why did she word it like that? She didn't immediately know, but she didn't elaborate on it either. Not to herself, nor to Minkpaw. As he turned to make his way into the unknown, she called after him, staying where she was until he was gone from sight. "May StarClan, and your father, light your path Minkpaw. Thank you."

He gave one last smile at her words, noting her hesitation distantly even as the horizon called to him. It was time. This place couldn't hold his paws down any longer. "I know," He said softly, remembering the first time he had truly spoken to her. If she ever stopped being who she was, if the crushing weight of everything falling to pieces around her broke her like it had him.... Well, StarClan protect the rest of them, if they could.

He turned, paws brushing the marshy water and leaving ripples as he began to pad away. Her call made him pause for a moment, and he turned his head over his shoulder, letting his eyes meet hers one last time, every emotion he felt at this moment shining in his eyes. Sadness, regret, but most of all, gratefulness. "You too." He lifted a paw, preparing to turn back towards the edge of the territory, and then he hesitated. "Never stop listening, Dappleshine."

His paws led through the reeds, padding with unhurried purpose over marshy pools, their cool wetness squishing between his paw pads and dripping back with an echo of tinkling music. The calls of a heron sang out distantly, ringing over the softly buzzing wings of dragonflies hovering above still pools. Memories lingered here. The ghost of a smile touched his muzzle as laughter rang through his mind, the shadows of three kits splashing through pools and shattering their reflections hidden in an open, marshy space screened by reeds. Another surfaced in a small stream meandering through bushes near a particularly soft patch of ground; a stern tom lecturing a sopping wet, very muddy apprentice as he tried to recover from an embarrassing attempt at hunting birds.

Pawstep followed pawstep, the sun almost kissing the horizon when at long last he stopped, motionless, at the border. A sea of grass bending in the breeze faced him, rippling before the wind that brought foreign scents to his nose. Wildflowers, the heady scent of golden grass baked by the sun - it swept through his whiskers as he stood, eyes closed in this one moment. Here, one thing ended, and another began.

Can I leave it all behind?

Birds called, wild and free. The wind whispered in his ears, tickling them with a distant sense of laughter. His paws were rooted in the earth, right here, at the very edge.

There's only one way to find out.

Minkpaw opened his eyes, green reflected the sun as it touched the very surface of the earth in this one heartbeat, the two joined together in an inescapable embrace. A paw lifted, and stepped forward. Another followed. He could feel his heart beginning to pound as he stood half and half over the border. Known merging with unknown. Then it disappeared behind him.

The breeze had never felt so gentle against Strom's fur, caressing it as he suddenly began to run, legs pumping and bounding over the ground below. An untamed laugh broke free of his throat as he leapt after a startled bird, his paws stretched out to meet the sky. Suddenly, the weight of Minkpaw was sloughed off his shoulders - all of the responsibilities, all of the heartache, gone. He stared at the sky as the sun finally dropped below the horizon, leaving orange and pink streaks in the sky. A golden glow, beckoning him onwards, the grassy horizon stretching on and on, into his future. Into hope.

Feeling lighter than he had since kithood, Strom let the current carry him into it.