[closed] Blessings, Curses

Amberdawn had left SkyClan behind. She wasn't certain if she was even still Amberdawn; just as SkyClan had owned her position, she suspected they owned her name. It was all she had at the moment, though, so she kept it. She had crossed the river to avoid being followed, even though it had been a struggle for herself. She prayed she wouldn't run into any RiverClan cats on her way through towards the edge of Clan territory, and her prayers were answered. The thought of StarClan watching her made her pelt crawl with shame, but she carried on. The former medicine cat found herself at a large expanse of land, where twolegs often came and went. No Clan cats would come there looking for her there.

The golden tabby wandered, feeling her traveling herbs working their magic: no hunger, no exhaustion, a clear mind. All Amberdawn wanted, though, was a clear direction now that her path had changed.

It hadn't been long since his interaction with the she-cat near the barn. She had places to go an he had to continue his aimless wandering in pursuit of some unobtainable peace. Arcayus' paws trotted faster as he skirted the edges of the territory. He'd heard of the forest cats and their vicious ways. Had he the heart of a true Oasis cat, or even that of an adventurer like his brother, perhaps he would have sought out those who live their and tried to learn of their ways. But instead he minded the scent markers and set off towards the edges of the earth. Unsurprisingly, it did not take long at all to spot another cat. This seemed to be a rich land that caused the groups here to thrive. He was about to dart away into the foliage when he caught sight of her expression. There was something curious there. The idea of speaking to this unknown cat caused his heart to pound slightly faster. From a distance, he finally dared to call out something to the orange tabby, "Hey there, stranger.... you don't happen to be sick, do you?" Given she wasn't travelling with others, it was a reasonable assumption. And yet, there was no coughing or stench of death, at least not that his own stuffed maw could pick up on. His golden eyes studied her as he mustered enough courage to move a big closer, although still stood several taillengths away.

A voice made Amberdawn jump slightly. Stranger, they called her, and they asked if she was sick. Amberdawn's eyes met a pair of dull, golden ones resting amidst a pleasant-looking but dusty face. The tom stood a safe distance away. He was being cautious; that was reasonable. Many cats around here weren't quite as friendly as she hoped to appear, but she wasn't feeling overly friendly now. Still, she stopped and shook her head and answered cautiously, "No... I'm not. Is something the matter?"

"No, no, ma'am, just not looking to catch anything." It was like a wave of relief washed over him instantly. There were many things he was far too anxious over in life, but perhaps the biggest was a very real threat: his body had never been equipped to handle sickness. His nose constantly twitched and dulled, his eyes would sometimes itch depending on the season, and worst of all he could fall deathly ill from even the most trivial of colds. Most cats didn't understand his jumpy and cautious nature. But when the terrors of dream became real and death was palpable, there wasn't much else he could other their give it credit. Arcayus padded a little closer, offering her a more friendly smile in hopes to draw forth a similar response. She seemed to be guarded in her own way and he assumed that was good reason, but in his warm and friendly candor, the bi-colored tom meowed, "My name is, uh, Patrick. I don't have anywhere particular to be but I was wondering if you were alright. You seem to be a little lost too, and I know its not the most fun place to be."

The change that came over the tom as Amberdawn declared her good health was quite evident; he almost immediately let his shoulders drop and began to pad a little closer to that their paths might perhaps converge. "You won't catch anything from me," she responded gently. Amberdawn's tail flicked, and then she continued slowly to meet him. He smiled, and the golden tabby she-cat felt the edges of her lips twitch in the faintest of attempts. She really couldn't find it in her to give him genuine joy right now, though. He seemed to sense her trouble as he introduced himself. "Patrick" was his name - something unusual and certainly neither Clan nor Tribe - and he seemed to think she was lost.

"Hello, Patrick," Amberdawn greeted, feeling the odd name roll off of her tongue. "My name's... well, it was Amberdawn. I'm not sure if it still is." She glanced aside at him and added, "I'm more lost in that way than anything else."

"Well, maybe we could help find you a name. How's that sound? The world is very forgiving when it comes to names, especially the farther you run." Arcayus understood, to some degree, that she was leaving something behind. Whether or not it was in the exact way that he was, abandoning his home and his true namesake out of cowardice or something else, he was truly a cat who appreciated companionship. Besides, the orange and grey tom couldn't bring his soft heart to abandon such a disheartened creature. He felt for her and if it weren't for his natural aversion to touch, he might have pressed his coat against hers if she allowed it. Instead, he breathed in as much air as his stuffed nostrils allowed. The scent of herbs from her coat was something he was finally able pick apart and it intrigued him. Some adventurers had reported finding cats who also knew the art of healing. Maybe this was one. He looked over his shoulder and in the direction of the place he'd been heading, "Would you like to join me? It's getting dark and even the lost must rest sometimes."

Amberdawn's ear flicked. "Find me a name...?" she echoed, and Patrick went on to explain that the world was "very forgiving" about names and that distance often made changing the name easier. Here, this close to the forest, she wasn't sure she could, but she responded, "I s-suppose we could try to do that. I've never had any practice, though." The only names I ever bothered myself with were herbs, she thought sadly, and her mind flickered back to memories of walking with Leaftwirl. Amberdawn shoved them away, and then Patrick asked for her company.

She blinked, surprised by the eloquence of his words. She wondered if she should be suspicious, but she was so tired of suspicion lately. What did it matter if her kindness got her into trouble? "I'd like that very much. Is there somewhere you've been staying?" Her tail swept to gesture to their surroundings, "Or is this unfamiliar to you, too?"

"No practice needed. I took my name from a cat I heard a story about once. It's as simple as that. I'm not even sure if its the one that I'm meant to keep, but only time will tell. No need to worry about that now." Patrick considered laying his tail across her back in a comforting way. He remembered when he had first left the Oasis behind. Sides had heaved with the constant effort, continuous sprinting, and a goal without end. It had taken long before he even had spoke with another cat and longer yet to muster up a name to cover his old identity. Although he longed to shake his birth name, it was something that he could not quite get his mind to abandon. Had some cat trotted up and breathed it, his head would have snapped around in immediate recognition. He couldn't even fool himself. There was a flicker of discouragement across his maw and his tail drooped before turning to look over the she-cat once again.

As she spoke, his whiskers twitched ever so slightly in a laugh, "It seems you know this territory about as well as I do. No, I haven't known where my paws were for quite sometime. I almost like it that way now. But sometimes the company isn't so bad. Plenty of cats will chase you away for even looking in their direction. You don't seem like the type though." Arc offered her another warm smile before casting a glance ahead of them. There seemed to be some walker structure ahead and if he had learned anything, it was that those clumsy creatures were rather easy to avoid and their nests often had great places to rest, at least temporarily. His golden gaze peered at it curiously as he padded along at the younger she-cat's side, "There might be something there, at least for now. We can rest for the night and then find our own paths in the morning. Wherever they might lead."

The loner continued to speak of names, suggesting it was nothing at all. He claimed he had taken his name, and Amberdawn looked at him quizzically. Part of her asked, Is it really that simple? Yet without a doubt she had accepted his name as Patrick since that was what he'd told her. Even knowing it wasn't really his name couldn't break that first connection. It was peculiar, and Amberdawn didn't have the energy to ruminate on it. Patrick suggested perhaps it wasn't the name he was meant to keep. That seemed cryptic, but then again, "medicine cat" wasn't the name that Amberdawn was meant to keep despite what she'd thought all her life. He did seem to understand her. Neither of them knew exactly where they were. That was somehow comforting.

Patrick suggested that some cats might attack you for looking at them wrong and Amberdawn shifted uncomfortably. She hoped it went unnoticed, for the loner's next words were that she didn't seem like the type to do such a thing. "I'm not," she answered certainly. The tom gestured to a place to rest, and he suggested they spend the night together. Amberdawn considered saying no, but the curiosity in his gaze was quite drawing. She was certain she didn't need to be afraid. "That sounds nice. Let's go, then." And away they went.

It did not take long, as he had predicted from previous experience, to find a potential den within the structure. Underneath one side of the walker nest, there was some crumbling of stone just above soft peat. His claws dug up what had crumbled and caved it. With the pair of them working together, a nest that was just big enough for the pair of them came to shape. Arc set off to look for some moss and caught a lark. Once plucked, the feathers would be perfect to line the next. Upon returning, he offered his new companion a smile before ceremoniously picking the feathers from the little bird and gingerly tucking them into the nest. While the scent of food was enticing, the prospect of a conversation was much more appealing. It had been so long since he had spent the night with another cat. Typically, the tom was far too flighty to settle down. Most loners traveled in groups that could have easily slain him, or had the potential to carry disease. Others off on their own bore scars that proved they had a reason for not existing alongside other cats.

"So tell me about yourself. I like to know the cats I meet, hear their stories. I don't need the whole of what brought you here, but I'm sure there is much more to your life than that." Arcayus looked up at her with his curious, golden gaze, hoping there was some story behind the molly's eyes, one that she was willing to stare. As he waited for an answer, he took a small mouthful of the prey before sliding it towards her. She was likely hungry as well. Or, maybe not. He remembered what it was like to be in her position. But, regardless, the thought had to mean something.

Amberdawn was immensely grateful to have run into a cat who knew how to survive outside a group. The she-cat had been blessed - or at the very least lucky - with companionship all her life; even in the flood, she was alone only for as long as she was being carried in the current. Almost as soon as she'd gotten her paws on the shore she had discovered Sagepaw and, shortly after, Sparkfrost. This was the first time she would've been truly alone, yet she found Patrick instead. She enthusiastically helped prepare the place that they would rest for the night, and after a while the loner returned with a bird and some other things to make their resting spot comfortable. It was a good first night away from home - what was her home. After a while they settled in, the prey between them.

Patrick was the first to ask questions. "Tell me about yourself" was all he asked, but almost immediately Amberdawn felt her tongue dry and her stomach begin to flutter with apprehension. She looked towards the entrance of their den to fight down her feelings of panic. "Oh, you... you really wouldn't be interested..." she murmured passively, hoping he might be willing to accept that as an answer but truthfully expecting he wouldn't. Already she was thinking of what she'd say when he insisted, but he had pushed the prey towards his, and oddly, that was insistence enough.

"You go ahead and eat that, I'm not hungry," Amberdawn replied truthfully, kindly pushing it back towards him. The herbs hadn't worn off yet, likely since they sat like a rock in her stomach along with her anxiety of the choice she'd made. "I was a medicine cat - a, um, healer." Amberdawn frowned slightly and added, "I-I... think I still am, but not the way I used to be. I work with flowers and roots and herbs. I'm not hungry because, well, I'd expected to make a longer journey, but once I set out I didn't know where I was trying to go. I don't think I've made it very far."

When she mumbled that he might be disinterested, the tom simply looked at her and touched his nose gingerly to her paw, urging her to continue. It did seem like she wasn't truly hungry so he pulled the plucked lark back towards himself to satiate his nagging stomach. With each word, Arcayus listened and drew in the tale of this forest cat. As she spoke of being a healer, his whiskers twitched slightly. It appeared that he was right. The nauseating scent of herbs had become a constant in his kithood and while it make his pelt crawl, there was also some sick sense of comfort to be found in it. Perhaps that was why he had been so at ease with this she-cat. She reminded him of Marie in some way. Thinking of his mother caused him too to glance towards the entrance. Guilt and shame threatened on more than one occasion to overwhelm him if he thought of his home, of what he had left behind. He stifled an uncomfortable sigh and thought of his larger-than-life brother. Artemis' stead nature always seemed to guide him.

"Somethings don't leave us. I think that's why you found me. Of anywhere, the healer in you brought you here. My body doesn't fight sickness well, which is why I avoid most cats. But healers just like yourself cared for me in my youth." Patrick's words were gentle as he spoke, but his eyes became glazed over as he remembered. As much as he tried to shake away thoughts and memories of the Oasis, that was his own past that would not leave him, and so he thought it only fair to share of his own former life, "Where I come from, every cat is trained to use herbs, to heal other cats. It's an important skill to have. I'm glad there are other groups that take care of all cats as well. You don't see that too often." Behind him, Arc's tail twitched anxiously as he considered the training he received. All Oasis cats knew, but not many as well as he had growing up alongside side the herbs. It seemed this she-cat was the same. They shared a certain companionship in more ways than one. He found himself thanking the ancestors for it. Even if he had left his home, they were one thing he knew he could never escape, and there was no point in trying to run from their eyes.

As expected, Patrick had been more than willing to listen to her tale. His gentle nose-touch on her paw received only the acknowledgement of a flick of her ear as she gazed pensively into the night. The loner took a few bites of his prey while Amberdawn gave the vaguest description of who she was and where she came from. He seemed satisfied enough, though when she mentioned being a healer she heard him shuffle and saw in her peripheral that he was staring off towards uncertainty, too.

When Amberdawn finished speaking, Patrick spoke up. He explained that he thought their meeting made sense. She turned her dark gaze to him, watching his face grow foggy with nostalgia as he explained that he had grown up around healers: he was prone to illness. Amberdawn knew her face showed some scholarly interest - that, she couldn't help - as she considered how odd she had thought it when Patrick asked if she was ill upon meeting. Of course he wanted to know; she could have been a risk to him.

The tabby she-cat listened respectfully as Patrick explained he had grown up around healers because all of the cats he grew up with learned medicine. Amberdawn felt almost young when she realized she was daydreaming of such a place where every cat were taught the skills of a medicine cat. Stars, how many lives could it save?

"That's remarkable," Amberdawn murmured, certain that the wonder showed in her voice, yet she didn't miss Patrick's anxious shifting. Perhaps he didn't want to speak of where he came from, either. She thought for a moment before asking the stranger, hoping she wasn't probing, "Are... you planning to go through the forest?"

When she finally spoke, he blinked a few times to focus his gaze back on the she-cat. It took a moment to realize what she had said. He missed the awe in her voice. Yet a familiar sinking sensation filled his stomach as his subconscious caught on. Was his selfish for leaving? The Oasis had truly been a place of marvel, that bred only goodness. Until, it didn't. He shook his head, abolishing the thoughts sufficiently and answering her question all at once, "No... too many cats. It's rare I travel with another cat." The only companion he had taken on had been Patrick, the same tom whose name he bore now in his honor. Their journey seemed like moons ago. A life, cut short with the snap of a dog's jaws. Arcayus had been lucky to escape with breath in his lungs. Although, quite often, he found himself thinking about how much simpler things would have been. His head rested on his paws comfortably, gaze slightly averted from the she-cat's he muttered something indiscernible before closing his eyes. A good night. But as much as he tried, the anxious swirling of his pitiful mind didn't quiet for some time. Sleep was hardly a relief. And yet it always came eventually.

(Next post time skip to morning and then a farewell)

Amberdawn was surprised by the relief she felt when her companion explained he rarely traveled with other cats and so wouldn't be traveling through the forest. It made sense given the health problems he'd mentioned earlier. More than that, though, the she-cat realized with a sad feeling that she would've feared for him if he'd said yes. She realized she would have warned him against it. Now she didn't have to, but the fact that she'd felt such a compulsion to protect someone from her former home... The golden tabby cat nodded in acknowledgement of Patrick's reply and let it be. "I see. I always belonged with others... I'm not sure I'm any good on my own."

Her tail twitched self-consciously as she murmured. She saw the tom's head lowering on his paws, his gaze slipping away from hers. He was ready for sleep. Amberdawn stifled her other thoughts. They... both had a long way to travel tomorrow, it seemed. The medicine cat still didn't know where she was going, but she couldn't decide in the dark of the night anyways. All she could do was wait out the night. As Patrick mumbled his goodnight and let his eyes flicker shut, Amberdawn nodded again, murmuring, "Goodnight, Patrick."

She was far from sleep. She wished she'd known she wouldn't even be traveling as far as Highstones; she would have taken fewer herbs. Amberdawn was unable to rest, unable to feel anything other than emotionally tired and physically energized. The golden tabby lay in the darkness with her eyes half-shut, glazed as they stared towards the entrance. Amberdawn was awake when Patrick's breathing slowed to signify his deep sleep and long after. Her eyes only began to flutter as the first glow of dawn began to creep through the opening through which they'd crawled.

Dawn had come.

---

Amberdawn slipped back into the den, two fat young turtle doves gripped in her teeth. She wasn't sure how long she'd been out other than long enough for the sun to peek over the horizon, but she scanned the dim, warm light of the space where they'd rested and found Patrick still there. The medicine cat was tired. She sat one of the pigeons by where she had rested before moving towards Patrick, dark amber eyes scanning him for signs of awareness and alertness.