Close Your Eyes [Closed]

It had only been one sunset since their scuffle at the border. To the deputy, it was merely one of many confrontations to be had throughout the course of a lifetime. The myriad of scars that crossed his tabby coat told the tale of all of the places his claws had been, and many that had crossed him overtime. Across his own expression was even a seven-clawed scar of his own design. Perhaps there was too much here, far too many circumstances for a lifetime. And maybe that was why so much of it had been buried away, desperately and wildly tucked in the recesses of his constantly overwhelmed conscious. All those moments, minuscule and vast each in their own right, were merely a distraction to the many tasks at paw. There was no time to pick through the piddling failure of his own past. Beartooth thought little of it as he peered into the darkness of the night. Something had wrapped itself around his mind this particular night, a thought that had no left his mind. He was concerned and per usual it was for another cat of the clan. Ferretnose's inability in battle. It wasn't the lack of efficiency that plagued his mind but the thought that if upon a greater enemy she might succumb to their claws. And if there was one lesson he had learned throughout these many cruel trials, it was that only so much in his control. He could not simply always be there to shield the warrior with his own battle-ready frame.

He had to show her.

After so many moments, laying there and twisting the idea around in his mind, a thought poked through in the form of a memory. So many moons ago when he had bore an apprentice name like his own son did now, Oakstar had instilled in him a special skill. Their journey had carried them through the night and helped to shape Beartooth into the warrior he was today. Even if he hardly considered it, that moment had carried over into his battle style. While he still relied a lot on the strength and instinct of the fight, there was a level of competence that had been added underneath the pale light of the moon. While he had not stopped to beg the question of why she was so restrained in defense of the clan, something that he found particularly concerning due to his own ideals and further concern for his well being, he suspected it had something to do with the poor vision in half of her gaze. It was a rare moment that the tom considered and came to a conclusion. This would help Ferretnose. And he was determined to do that in his own way. Settled, he rose onto his paws and crept as silently as he could towards her nest in hopes of not disturbing the other clans warriors. His oversized paw nudged her a little too ungracefully before he turned for her to follow him into the middle of the camp. Outside it was silent, the world stilled underneath the watchful eye of Starclan. Everything was bathed in a soft hue of white light, almost surreal in nature despite it's natural constant presence. Even the dust beneath his paws seemed to possess otherworldly appeal. For a second, his gaze caught on his paw and a frown crossed his normally neutral expression.

When Ferretnose appeared from the warrior's den, exhaustion from the previous day's events still evident in her movements, he found himself awed by how easily she too was painted silver. But he did little more than nod in acknowledgement of her presence and finally whispered in his usual, gravelly manner, "Follow me."

Without hesitation, he slipped through the gorse tunnel as easily as the snagging of his coat would allow. There were guards stationed there, as normal, but both were void of any concern past a nod of recognition. Being deputy meant few cats questioned what he did, which was a strange feeling given his natural tendency to seek the guidance of others. This was likely the most forward he had been in pursuit of any training. And as he considered that idea, he found a new perspective. Previously, training was merely a duty to impart knowledge. If he found it as a means of saving his clanmates and less as a task, maybe Dawnpaw would have been less guarded at his attempts of fleeting affection. He flicked his tail in acknowledgement of the idea, tucking that in a separate corner to consider for another moment in the future. As they continued on in their journey the cover of treetops staved off the sparse light provided from above. And Beartooth closed his eyes. Underneath those condemned paws, he felt everything. Gingerly, he continued on. Whiskers and scents were his guide for sometime. He felt the forest and recognized it without reliance on his gaze. It was as if slipping into another world as he sought to navigate in such a way that had been taught to him by his mentor. A soft snap betrayed him. Practice was well needed. It had been too long.

Once they reached the Stony Hallow, the tom paused, staring into the endless darkness. On several occasions before, he had sharpened his own skill here before. Now, it was time to bestow that knowledge onto another. His eyes refracted what moonlight dappled their coats through the treetops above and his expression asked a silent question. Are you ready?

The impact of the battle plagued Ferretnose. Beartooth's concern, no matter how well-meaning, reminded her of her faults that she had tried so expertly to hide. At every turn, she was the runt, the child, the naive pacifist. She wanted to do her duty, she had the need, but she felt terror. It was all too much. There was no suppressing it this time, now that somebody else saw through it. Everything was weighing down on her soul, and there was no way to stop it. Mosspaw and Lynxtail and Beartooth... their sorrow pressed on her heart as well, welling up as a lump in her throat. Anxiety shook her core daily, and she was increasingly jumpy from her bad side. It was as if life had come and hit her from the left, giving her no prior warning. She remembered the day she spent as a kit gazing into a puddle, at her clouded eye, permanently soiled by forces unknown, and wondering why she had been born lesser. Was it her curse to be missing pieces from the beginning? Worse of all, she felt a deep rift in Pricklebush's relationship with her, ever since Oakstar became leader. There was bad blood, the entire clan knew it, between the medicine cat and his adopted brother. She didn't dare ask, but even Mosspaw seemed to be hopelessly affected. There was nothing she could do, and it made her feel weak. Stupid, even. Empathy drove her mad.

She did not sleep that night. Quiet, weepy rage took over her body as she alternated between tears and claws gripping the earth beneath her. Of all the things she was expected to be, she chose the rock of ThunderClan. The force of positivism that healed all who were touched by it. Who would drain her pond when it became muddied and riddled with algae? Who could she lean on in her desperation? Doom and gloom was unlike her, but Ferretnose was quite sure that not even she knew what was like and unlike her. A prod released her from the prison she had built in her mind, and she recognized instantly the large paw of Beartooth. When she lifted her head, his tail had already disappeared from the den. Stretching weakly, she followed him out, calling gently out to him in a purr. She ducked her head for a moment when she met his eyes, shy with embarrassment. He must have been upset, understandably so. His words still pierced the wall she had attempted to build around herself, and against her better instincts, she felt drawn to follow.

Walking on his left side, she felt the usual urge to speak, to chatter, to ask questions, but she refrained. There was a strange peace about Beartooth, and when he shut his eyes, the small she-cat was evermore curious. She leaned close to him as he walked along, both blind and aware. It was entrancing to watch him walk with little more than memory and his sense of touch. Ferretnose studied him closely, blinking once with her left eye and one with her right. When she shut her right eye, she saw his blurry form, nothing but a brown smudge much larger than herself. Only light penetrated the cloudy haze. Opening both eyes once more, she watched him sightlessly navigate the territory she loved so dearly. A passing thought ensnared her mind, a question that she had been dodging. Why did Beartooth put up with her? She had watched him shut down clanmates and enemies alike with a simple look or phrase. Had she really been bothering him, wouldn't he had let her know? He responded, albeit bluntly, to most of her inquires. He saw her as an equal. Her own deputy looked to her for approval. How funny, how strange. She followed him, matching his footfalls, until they reached their destination. The Stony Hollow loomed, a place she rarely came, for no reason other than not having a good reason. Beartooth continued to confuse her in the most pleasant of ways.

His eyes pierced her heart, rumbling in her chest. A brief smile crossed her lips and she forgot everything she had fretted over when she lay in her nest. Her response to his silent question was the gentle brushing of their tails. Ferretnose followed him in.

With her silent approval, the tom padded forward into the palpable darkness. This was unlike the rest of the forest. There were many twists and turns out there that provided obstacles abounding. But unlike these lightless caverns, there was something to see and to know. Stony Hallow was simply a void of nothingness. The walls were smooth, and simple, providing an easy and yet terrifying path. Cats who wondered too far in risked getting lost. It was why many chose to avoid this place. They weren't to go too far, only going to seek out way in which to further deprive their gazes the temptation of refracted moonlight. Beartooth remembered his lessons with Oakstar, back when the leader bore a different name, and he had bestowed the same gift upon the young tabby. A longing to rely on the known, to rely on his gaze was overwhelming. It was far simpler to see than it was to feel. To do instead of think. The deputy seldom thought over these things, but he recognized the difficulty of the task.

"Close your eyes." It could have been construed as a command due to his gravelly tone, but there was an ask, a plea, underneath that rough tone. Beartooth allowed his own eyelids to flutter shut once more as they had earlier. Standing before the empty hallow, it was easy. No light begged for him to indulge it. There was just, nothing. He found a soft smile flickering across his maw as he remembered doing this before on many occasions. It was like slipping into a long-past abandoned nest. His tail flicked behind him, brushing the length of Ferretnose's pelt gently. Now that he sensed where she was, this would be a much easier feat. The presence of the she-cat at his side was something that he did not think much of along the way, nor as she touched their tails together. But he noticed it now as he pressed his side up against hers and took in the warmth of her soft pelt. If he pulled away, she would be left to her own in this foreign world of darkness. No, instead he would guide her. At least for now.

"If you rely too much on your sight, you will be lost. Feel the earth below your paws, let your whiskers sense what is around you." Beartooth spoke softer this time, as if his reverberating rumble would disrupt the silence of the cave. With his massive paws, he felts so much below them. Each fur helped him to navigate forward through the lightless cave. He could feel every crack in the stone, droplets of water as they collected on his pads. Were he seeking on his own, claws might have been helpful as well but he kept them sheathed as he urged the she-cat onward a few steps. As they moved a few mouselenghts, then taillengths, he pulled away but continued to brush his tail along her back, "There is so much to be seen that cats miss out on when they use their eyes, Ferretnose." So many words. But he felt the necessity to say something, even if he could not quite pinpoint the desire. As they padded together into the stony world, he found himself concentrating on specifically where she stood. He did not want to lose Ferretnose.

Taking a deep, shaking breath, Ferretnose relinquished her sight to the darkness and closed her eyes.

She felt Beartooth's tail brush her side, seeking out her body, and she moved to his shoulder and intertwined their tails to maintain some sort of stability for the passing moment. She took note of the obvious size difference, which curled her mouth in an silly grin. The first few steps were stumbles, heavy and loping. There wasn't much to smell or listen to in the stony tunnel, and with her eyes closed, all she had was her own acute awareness and her ever-quiet partner. In the slow-moving moments, Ferretnose heard the gentle beating of her own heart keep time with her pawsteps. Then, Beartooth spoke. A rare thing on its own, but even rarer to hear it in such sincerity and warmth. She let them sink in, wrapping her head around them, chasing every syllable as it reverberated through the cavern. Her paws became less hesitant as she slowly pulled away from his pelt and found herself surrounded by the chill of the abyss.

Ferretnose had a feeling that even if she were to open her eyes, she wouldn't see a thing. Her paws dragged across the stone, wary of where they were placed. There was no nuance or technique in her movement, at least not that she could discern. "Where are we going?" she asked softly, letting the words echo with a sense of eerie calm. The tomb-like hollow felt neverending. "Are we even going anywhere at all?" She moved closer to Beartooth's side, seeking out his support and guidance. His last statement rolled around inside her. "And what do you think I'm missing out on?"

So many questions. His whiskers twitched ever so slightly at the she-cat's concern. It only furthered the idea in his mind that this would help her to be a better warrior. Beartooth's tail drew back for a second, allowing her the thrill of a lack of direction, and then he returned to bring a sense of solace. He remembered the condemning helplessness that stirred in his mind for a few moments when Oakstar had first bestowed this skill upon him. But it had helped that he generally had a cool mind. The bulky tom often found himself thinking and feeling rather than speaking. It was only the head of battle that abolished these senses and rendered him a creature of instinct. This was a deeper, natural peace that only came from the silent focus that few cats were able to manage. He was grateful that his mentor had taught it to him, saw the potential. Ferretnose needed it as well, and he hoped she would be able to see that.

At first, he considered simply allowing her questions to die away after their faint echoes. But instead, he found himself longing to indulge her. Speech that he often found foreign and useless was now a necessity. He desired to say something to Ferretnose. It wasn't entirely because of the warrior's own longing for some semblance of and answer. Beartooth sucked in a low breath, taking in the sharp coolness of the tunnel. Once again his low tone seemed to rumble through the Stony Hallow, "Cats are far to reliant on sight. You can get further if you are comfortable in your surroundings. Oakstar taught me in my youth. It's a Shadowclan practice. There isn't anywhere to go. It is just about finding your way in what is around you. Don't think, Ferretnose. Don't rely on your sight." It was the closest he had come to truly mentoring another cat. Dawngaze would be the first to share he was not an expert mentor. Ever so uneloquent in his speech, the deputy offered up little more and hoped she would understand. Hoped she would see the sense in this. And hoped she would be a more confident warrior because of it.