Trauma (Closed)

"I am in a world of whiteness,
Ice sparkles on every branch around me,
What would I do without this season,
Of powerful, endless beauty?"

Clearpaw felt the words come naturally as he skipped through the trees, joyed that the snow had not yet melted. The other seasons were wondrous, but truly no match for the majestic sparkle that the ice brought to the world. Not the green grass and blue skies of greenleaf, the fiery leave of leaffall, or even the blossoming flowers of newleaf could rival leafbare's splendor. However, the cold and dreary look in other cat's eyes was far from beautiful. Though it held some beauty in a a sad sort of way, it was more of the depressing side of art than the uplifting kind. Hunger, loss, and violence seemed to be all cats could focus on during this time. To him, it made no sense. Why focus on everything bring you down in life when you could just open your eyes and see the hope and light around you? The icy trees held promise of life soon to reappear, the snow held flakes of youth and energy. Nothing was truly dead or gone during leafbare. It was all just there in a different form. It was a shame nobody else could see that. It wasn't too long before the snow stopped, and the air was no longer full of dancing crystals of snow. Right before he was about to turn back and return to camp, he spotted tracks in the snow a few tail-lengths away. Bounding over to them, he saw deer footprints right in the snow. Scenting the air, he caught the faint scent of deer in the air, but mostly covered by the wetness of the snow. Grinning happily, he followed the tracks a small distance, eventually losing them near the RiverClan border. Scenting the air again, he could no longer smell any sign of it. That was odd, the prints looked fairly fresh. Looking around he wondered why the trees seemed to disappear in this area. It wasn't a part of SkyClan territory he was familiar with, but he hadn't reached the river yet. Confused, he wondered if it just looked different in the snow. Then he saw it. Two small, wilted purple flowers poking out of the snow. Though they were a much paler color than they would usually be, it was still a bright contrast to the white around it. Smiling, he padded over to get a closer look. A few steps away from them, one of his paws hit a patch of ice and he almost slipped. Recovering, he kept walking, wondering why there was ice there. Perhaps he would investigate later, after he looked closely at the miraculously living flowers.
Little did Clearpaw know that he had walked straight over the river.

Badgerpaw strayed from her patrol, as she tried to hunt a frog.  Soon, she saw something in the white snow.  However, it wasn’t the frog. It was an apprentice, who crossed the river onto RiverClan territory.  The apprentice was looking at some purple flowers, but Badgerpaw didn't care.  He crossed the border.  "Hey!  What are you doing in RiverClan territory?" she said, but the cat didn't hear her.  "Get out.  GET OUT!"  The black-and-white apprentice slashed at the cat's belly viciously, showing no mercy.

Badgerpaw used Belly Rake on Clearpaw, dealing 7 damage and costing 10 stamina.

Badgerpaw:
HP: 20/20
SP: 70/80

Clearpaw:
HP: 13/20
SP: 80/80

Clearpaw didn't mean to do it. He really, really didn't mean to do it. It just happened. One moment he was admiring the flowers, inhaling their beautiful scent, wondering how a greenleaf wonder had survived this far into the cold splendor of leafbare. It had a different sort of beauty than in greenleaf, because as he inspected it further, he found that it was covered in frost. That gave it such a crystallized look, which made him want to make another poem, this time just about this flower. In the background, he thought he heard a noise. Raising his head, his eyes widened to see an angry RiverClan apprentice less than a tail-length away from him. If he could freeze that moment in time, he would have, with the she-cat's fiery anger contrasting his calm, surrounded by snow an ice with a flower between them. However, the moment was over so quickly he almost forgot about it. The RiverClanner repeated herself, this time louder, and before he could react, was lunging for him. Reaching up a paw to cover his face, he accidentally exposed his belly, which he immediately felt pain blossom through like a fire.It hurt like nothing he had felt before, and he felt like crying. However, it didn't excuse what he did next. On a reflex, his claws snapped forward in the same motion, raking deeply across the she-cat's stomach. Recoiling in horror, Clearpaw almost threw up. What had he just done?

Clearpaw used Belly Rake on Badgerpaw, dealing 7 damage and costing 10 stamina.


Clearpaw:
13/20
70/80


Badgerpaw:
13/20
70/80

Badgerpaw got slashed by Clearpaw, which surprised her.  "OW!  That hurts!"  The black-and-white she-cat jumped on Clearpaw’s back, and she pinned the brown-and-white tom.  ”Don’t mess with me!” she yowled maliciously.  She actually, to be honest, enjoyed hurting Clearpaw.

Badgerpaw used Leap-and-Hold on Clearpaw, dealing 6 damage and costing 10 stamina.

Badgerpaw:
HP: 13/20
SP: 60/80

Clearpaw:
HP: 7/20
SP: 70/80

Clearpaw is stunned for two more turns.

The member 'Mamenchisaurus' has done the following action : Dices roll

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'Effect Dice' : 6

"OW! That hurts!"

As soon as those words came out of the RiverClanner's mouth, Clearpaw felt his heart break into piece. He had caused another cat to feel the ugliest emotion there was. Pain. Remembering how much it hurt when he got slashed, he realized he had caused an equal amount upon the she-cat. Everything he had stood for shattered before him. Hadn't he always been the one saying violence was not the answer? And here he was, clawing at another cat's stomach, making them cry out in pain. Her words echoed in his ears, and he could barely focus on anything but that. He had added to the evil of the world, and he hated it with every fiber in his body. As he felt claws on his back, he was forced into a position where he could see the blood on his claws. The mixture of trauma and pain suddenly caused him to break down. Not even trying to fight the cat off his back, he let himself fall downwards into the snow, breaking out into tears. What had he done? Her cry of pain kept repeating in his mind, and just the knowledge of what he had done made him shudder. The pain of the apprentice's claws were hardly anything compared to the mental agony he was it. If only he could go back a few moments in time! He wouldn't have done that. He wouldn't have caused her to feel so much pain. By now he was hardly more than a sobbing me, splayed out on the ground and not fighting the she-cat that was raking her claws through his back. Just crying out in sorrow. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry..."

OOC: Could Badgerpaw almost kill Clearpaw?  If you don't want it to happen, just tell me, and I won't add it into my next post.

Badgerpaw almost grinned when she saw Clearpaw's cries for mercy.  The black-and-white she-cat kept on pinning the gray-and-white tom down.  She kept on pinning Clearpaw and tried to make Clearpaw feel pain.

Badgerpaw continued to use Leap-and-Hold on Clearpaw, dealing 6 damage.

Badgerpaw:
HP: 13/20
SP: 60/80

Clearpaw:
HP: 1/20
SP: 70/80

Clearpaw is stunned for one more turn.

OOC: Yes, she can almost kill him. I'd like him to have some scars and traumatic memories to remember this by, but not enough to permanently maim him.

Clearpaw knew he deserved this pain. After going his entire life speaking about the evil in fighting, he had actually attacked another cat. Nothing was ever solved in violence, he had preached that wherever he went, but now he had caused violence. The RiverClanner's blood was still on his claws, and he couldn't help but remember her cry of pain. It was all his fault that he was in this much pain. He had gone against all of his morals and hurt another cat, so this was what he deserved. Unless he was to be remembered as hypocritical , he had to make sure this never happened again. For a moment he wondered why the she-cat was still attacking him. A while had passed since he stopped fighting back, and now he was sobbing uncontrollably and clearly unable to do anything to help himself. Then he realized why. He had already attacked her and the damage had been done, so there was nothing he could do to take that back. His sobs just grew louder and his breathing became more ragged and unsteady. Why did he have to have done that?

Clearpaw is stunned.

Badgerpaw smiled.  ”End of the line, novice,” she snarled before attempting to slice Clearpaw’s throat. She stopped. She knew she would get in trouble for it, but she wanted to hurt as many lives as possible before going down. Also, the apprentice stopped fighting, almost as he was giving up. She didn’t want to kill a cat who just... gave up. It wouldn’t be satisfying enough. With the change of motivations, she moved her paw upward to slice at the apprentice’s cheek. ”Don’t mess with RiverClan! DON’T MESS WITH RIVERCLAN!” she called out at the apprentice. ”Enjoy your scars!” she sang, as she strutted back to her patrol.

Badgerpaw used Front Paw Strike on Clearpaw, dealing 6 damage(I think?) and costing 10 stamina.

Badgerpaw:
HP: 13/20
SP: 50/80

Clearpaw:
HP: 0/20
SP: 70/80

Clearpaw is no longer able to battle.

"I'm sorry..." Clearpaw whimpered as the apprentice walked away, his back burning with pain. Every cut and gash seemed to bleed out his energy as well as his blood, and that combined with his sobbing made moving so much more difficult. The snow around him was stained a bright crimson, the crystals of ice reflecting the red in a way he would have appreciated if it weren't for the agony he was in. The snow was stained with his own blood, he realized. And even more horrifying than that, there must be some of the blood he drew from the she-cat mixed in as well. Letting out a shallow moan, he managed to get to his paws, trudging along to the other side of the river. Now that there was near silence around him, the RiverClanner's cry of pain began to echo in his head once again. Over and over again, reminding him of how he had added to the evil in the world. Would he ever be able to come back from this? What if this led him to be violent again? No, he decided, he wouldn't let that happen. Though he was only a few tail-lengths back on the SkyClan side of the border, he paused. He needed to make sure this wouldn't happen again.
"I swear to my warrior ancestors in the stars that I will never hurt a cat again, and I will do my best to make sure no other cat does as well," Clearpaw vowed, looking up at the cloudy sky. It was still day and there wasn't a patch of clear sky visible, but he trusted that StarClan heard him, and made him uphold his promise. Continuing to walk, his pain was slightly lifted by the vow. Now although the horrible memory of what he did would haunt him forever, at least he was sure that he would never repeat it. And as long as a medicine cat was able to heal him up quickly, than he wouldn't have the scar to remind him for too long. Violence was never the answer.