Rock Bottom (Closed)

Gingerstripe lay in his makeshift nest, still trying to get used to the unfamiliar smells of the Barn in which he'd taken refuge. Piles of golden hay were pushed into corners, and discarded straws littered the otherwise cold floor. There was a constant squeaking of mice, though the loner had already eaten his fill. A few other cats came and went occasionally, but he never really tried to talk to them. Though he had the food and shelter he needed, something was... missing. Family.

His whole life, he'd been surrounded by his family, his Clanmates. Cats who respected him, appreciated him, loved him. Less so after Honeydrop's reveal, but even then he'd been sure of at least one cat: his only living brother, Firestone. They'd been best friends since birth, inseparable, impossibly friendly. They'd had one rough spot after their parents ruined their lives, but in the end, it had just brought them together more. But then, Gingerstripe had messed up. Badly. He hadn't meant to kill Honeydrop, he would swear it in front of StarClan, but no one believed him. Except Blizzardstar, but what did she matter? In the end, she'd rejected him too. Not even his daughters had believed him, or his foster mother... or his brother. That had hurt most. For accidentally killing a code-breaking rogue, he was consigned to eternal misery. Was that so fair?

The orange tabby let out a snort of disgust- at Honeydrop, StarClan, Nettlesting, Littlestar, himself- and stood up from the pile of long moor grass and hay he'd molded into a nest. He didn't know where he'd go- he did occasionally sneak into the territory, but tried not to do it to often- but he didn't want to mope around pathetically anymore. However, just as he began to walk towards the entrance, someone came in- the last cat he'd possibly expected.

Why was he here? He couldn't understand why he came so far from his home to this place... No... actually, he knew the reason. As he walked slowly to the abandoned barn, the large, stocky warrior lifted his head to see the red building with tired, sad eyes.

The life in Shadowclan had been more lonely than ever. The barn returned him the memories of his lost rogue friend, Buttercup, the she-cat who only wanted to see her daughter one more time and the one he trained to survive in the wild. She became a dearest friend to him... but she faced a horrible fate he couldn't stop. And what about that Thunderclan she-cat he met moons ago, Specklefang? She was killed too, fed with deathberries. Both of his friends died without him being capable of saying goodbye or trying to do something to save them.

He had Violetshine but still... he couldn't stand seeing his foster mother in the top of the Jaggedrock, being his leader. It was so unfair... She lied to the whole clan just like his real parents but she still had no punishment and she even dared to exile his brother for a crime that she, Flamestrike and Honeydrop started. What Gingerstripe did wasn't right, but she wasn't any better.

Firestone was alone, abandoned in a place he used to feel loved and where he could call himself as a happy. But now, the home he knew when he was a kit was gone. Shadowclan wasn't the place it used to be, but he couldn't leave it either. He swore loyalty to that clan the moment he was made a warrior but was the purpose of all that? His family was broken, he was separated from his brother and his trust in cats was betrayed by the ones he loved the most. His mate was the only one keeping him strong but for how long?

The tom thought about all that as he approached the Twoleg building, trying to breathe the smell of that place to dissipate his troubled heart. He smelled the hay, the wet wood, the mouses hiding from him and the faint scent of a cat... A cat he knew. Surprised, he raised his tail and rushed to the entrance, trying to confirm he wasn't hallucinating. Inside the barn, the silhouette of a cat moved and as he came closer, his emerald green eyes saw him clearly. "Gingerstripe...."

It couldn't be. It couldn't possibly be Firestone. That was impossible... or at least it was improbable. What would his brother be doing here? Gingerstripe blinked in a mixture of hope, disbelief, and absolute confusion. Who else had that large, stocky frame covered in soft dark red fur? Those green eyes that matched his exactly, from color to pain and frustration at the unions world they called home? Eventually, the tom believed his eyes. “F-Firestone...?” The name escaped his mouth, filled with a wondering kind of hope, of pleading for this to be real. Though he'd only been gone about a week, it seemed like years since he'd said that name. The tom he loved above all others... and who hated him. Oh, how had he forgotten? Everyone hated him now, for accidentally killing his codebreaking mother.

The thin, scrawny loner's eyes dropped from his brother's face to the ground below, face burning hot with shame and disgrace. Any second now, Firestone- whatever he was doing here- would leave, or yell at him again, or... something. But it wasn't like he'd be happy to see him. And, well, he couldn't say that he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve exile, he didn't deserve the injustice of his foster mother’s success. But he did deserve his brother's hatred. Though he'd somehow meant to tell him about the mistake he'd made, he'd somehow thought it behind him, rationalized that he'd share everything from then on... Gingerstripe had broken his promise. With Firestone, maybe the only cat who'd still really trusted him after all that. He's revoked his second chance, after clawing his mother's face in a fit of rage and then following her out of camp, needing answers, needing for everything to be right again- and then shoving her into the Thunderpath in an irreversible, blind spasm of agony. But he'd thought that StarClan wouldn't care, or that they'd at least realize it was an accident and treat him fairly for once in his life. It was his mistake, but he hasn't deserved that punishment... except for Firestone’s rage. He deserved that and more after breaking his brother’s trust.

“Let's promise to always be honest with each other....”

“...I promise.”

When the former warrior spoke again, it was in a voice hoarse from misuse and stifled, kept-back tears. Misery. “You... you h-have every right to be a-angry. I m-made a mistake, I l-lied to you, I-” he choked back a sob that tore through him at the words. “I failed. I didn't m-mean to, I d-didn’t mean to k-kill her, I just l-lost control after that h-horrible day and sh-shoved her away from me, where sh-she belonged, a-and there was a monster, and--!” A slim golden she-cat flew into the air, ragged tail streaming behind her, landing with a crack of broken bones, a pool of scarlet blood, twitching helpless paws, agonized attempts to breathe, pained eyes pleading with him to help her as he walked AWAY- Hot, scalding tears slipped out of the tom’s eyes, but he didn't even notice. He was still staring at the floor, which swam before his eyes. He couldn't look at Firestone. Then he'd see the hatred. “I d-deserve to be here,” he got out miserably, quietly, almost impossibly. “You... d-don't. You're a g-good cat. N-not like me. Please, just l-leave... be with your f-family.”

The large Shadowclan warrior barely blinked as he saw his brother speak to him, regretful for killing their mother but mostly, because of failing him as a brother. Firestone's feelings were mixed up and he was confused. However, when he saw into his brother's eyes, he felt no hate for him. How could he hate him? How could he not forgive him after how miserable he was now? Firestone stepped into the ban and walked to Gingerstripe, with an emotionless expression that soon turned into a sad smile. "But you're my family too, Gingerstripe." And he had no doubts about it. Even if he neglected Honeydrop, Littlestar and Flamestrike as their parents, the ginger tom didn't want to neglect his brother, the only cat in the clan that actually made him feel home before he met Violetshine. He was not only his brother but his friend. Of course, he was angry at him after his crime was confessed but... he couldn't ignore how lonely and devastated he felt when he left... and he did nothing to stop that.

"Please... don't apologize anymore because what's done is done... and we can't change the past anymore. And yes, you failed me as my brother the moment you decided to hide things from me. And I was angry with you. However... neither you nor I are free from blame... I failed you too the moment I didn't fight to defend you. Littlestar has wronged us the moment she lied to us too when she pretended to be our mother and was left without punishment... And I should have done something but I followed without a word and stayed mute, like a coward." The warrior walked even closer and he touched his forehead with his brother's, as they used to do when he was still in Shadowclan. "I'm bound to Shadowclan... but I'm also bound to you, brother. I have the fault as well... and I'm sorry... I-I should h-have done something. I-I s-should have n-noticed h-how much you were suffering..."