Am I a Failure? (Closed)

In her dreams, there were sounds. So many sounds. Curlyfeather could hear more clearly than ever when she was fast asleep. This night, it was different. Opening her eyes, she saw red in every direction. All different shades, from russet to the color of fresh blood. Where in StarClan's name was she. Then came noise. At first, it was just the high pitched screeching that filled her head whenever she hit it. That was annoying, and her head started to ache. What was going on? Surpressing a growl, she searched for something other than red. Shadows suddenly filled the place. Silhouettes of birds suddenly were all around her, their awful cawing and crying sounding like mockery towards her. Swiping her claws at one, her paw just went through thin air. These were just shadows. Soon it wasn't just birds. The mocking words of her clanmates echoed through the air, and for a moment there were no bodies to go with them. But then suddenly they were right in front of her. Then they started screeching in terror. Though she didn't move, claws that looked like hers slashed across them until they all lay in a bloodied pile. The worst part was the smugness inside of her. They had been making fun of her, ridiculing her, so for a few moments she didn't feel anything but good karma that they were gone. That was when horror filled her. Her claws had just killed them merely for laughing at her. Now she was even worse than a worthless failure. A monster. Demon. Words like those filled her mind, and soon that was what the birds were calling. Looking into the pool of blood her claws had created, she gasped. Her fur was ragged and scruffy, and her terrified expression reflected as a snarl. Not only was she horrible, she lied about it. If a clanmate pushed her too far, this might happen. Looking around, she realized this was her worst nightmare. Dreams had become her way to stay sane. Now this sanctuary had been destroyed as well.
By some miracle, Curlyfeather awoke. The warrior's den seemed peaceful in comparison to the hell she had been in. For once, the silence of the waking world didn't bother her. What did bother her was that she had overslept. That wouldn't be too bad of a thing if she hadn't told Asterpaw they would train that morning. Grumbling to herself, she hoped that her apprentice would try to communicate with her that day. Though she did appreciate not having to see soundless mouth movements, it felt weird for the conversation to be completely one sided. Besides, tail signals were a thing she knew. Maybe she should tell her that. By now, lack of conversation just seemed to multiply the eerie silence. It mentally infuriating to see the younger she-cat keep her mouth clamped shut all the time when they were together. That was part of the reason she critiqued her every move. Suddenly the image from the dream of her ripping her clnamates to shreds burned in her mind. No, she would never do that to her apprentice. Just a dream. Only monsters murdered. And she was no monster, no matter if she dreamt it or not. Right? That didn't convince her. Bursting into the apprentice den, she didn't even try to be quiet. "Asterpaw, come with me."

The air in the apprentices' den was quiet and still, and Asterpaw slept calmly in her nest until a cat busted through the entrance. The young apprentice jumped out of the nest with a start when her name was called. Without hesitation Asterpaw followed Curlyfeather out into camp and waited for her mentor to tell her what was going on.

"We're going to do some hunting, so I can see how much you know. It will help me to determine how close you are to your warrior ceremony. And please, don't be afraid to ask questions, just do it in a way I can understand," Curlyfeather, a bit of bitterness in her tone. Not attempting to even look cheery or excited, she began padding towards the exit of camp, not even checking to make sure she was being followed. Two words echoed in her mind. Failure. Monster. Over and over and over again. That would end today. Weakness made her a failure. Failure made her a burden. Being a burden made her a selfish monster. She wouldn't be weak anymore. Her apprentice would become great, even if it meant extra training. Becoming a failure was too much to risk. Before long, they had reached a good hunting spot. "Mice or frogs today?"

Asterpaw nodded, but was slightly afraid. She knew that Curlyfeather could not understand her verbally, and the apprentice not know how to communicate. She was quiet for a few heartbeats, pondering how she would convey her answer to her mentor. She used her imagination and retreated back to her days in the nursery. Asterpaw crouched down as low a she could and pushed herself into the air leaving her back legs to trail behind her. The young cat hoped she portrayed a frog, and after she landed she looked to Curlyfeather and waited.

"Frogs? Okay. Just be careful with not being loud in the mud," Curlyfeather advised, wincing at how much her words described herself rather than Asterpaw. She was actually a pretty good apprentice, no thanks to her own efforts. Though the apprentice's way of portraying her answer was a bit extreme, at least it got the point across. It wasn't like she couldn't expect everyone to be like Cedarstorm. Crouching down, the gray warrior approached a small frog. It would do for a demonstration. However, when she prepared for her pounce, she must have shifted her weight and squished into the mud. The frog noticed her, and started hopping away. Her stubborn mind wouldn't take no for an answer, so she bounded after it. But she wasn't a WindClan cat, or even fast for a ShadowClanner, and lost it easily. Cursing under her breath, she stomped back over to her apprentice. Now her voice was strained, as if trying not to cry. "Told you the mud is loud. Now you go."

OOC: I'm not using hunting system, if that's okay. Also, if Aster succeeds in her catch, it would lead perfectly to what happens next.