Will This Rain Ever Stop? (CLOSED)

Cold.

The coldest night in all leaf-bare.

But the coldness he felt was far different from the one that was around him.

The night with no moon was covered with dark grey clouds that dropped a harsh blizzard over the Riverclan's camp. All warriors, queens, elders, apprentices and kits were ordered to leave to their dens and sleep until the storm finished. However, three cats were awake in this harsh night, under the cover of the reeds that formed the medicine cat den.

Jaystream was one of them. After the battle against Windclan, he dedicated almost all of his free time to his pregnant mate, Cinderpaw, and for the last three days, everything was perfect. However, she suddenly got worse when the night fell over the camp and he managed to bring her to the medicine cat den, where Goldeneye started helping her.

Their kits were coming... it should be a happy notice but Jaystream knew that something was wrong with just seeing his mate crying in pain and then passing out on different occasions during the birth. The nest where she was laying was soon covered by blood...too much blood. And Jaystream couldn't do anything to help but just stay there and comfort her. His heart was beating faster by the desperation and the fear of seeing Cinderpaw in such a great pain. The den was filled with her cries and the tom only could curl his tail around hers while his paws trembled, nervously. "H-Hold on, Cinder! I-I'm here with you, a-always..." He whispered to her, trying to give her the strength she needed.

Blood.

Cries.

Pain.

And suddenly, it was over.

No sounds came out from Cinderpaw's mouth. She closed her eyes as she breathed heavily because of all the time she had been struggling to give birth to their kits. Jaystream couldn't stay still any longer and he approached her, sitting in the same nest and putting his tail under her tired head, just like he did the day they met when he saved her from drowning in the river. The deputy looked down at her with loving eyes, not knowing the tragedy that was going to happen.

The desperation faded away and happiness filled his heart when he saw his and her kits. "It's okay now, my love. You did a great job... can you see how beautiful our kits are thanks to you?" He purred softly as he glanced at the nine kittens next to her belly before returning his focus to the small calico she-cat.

The large warrior licked her forehead lovingly, nuzzling her but her eyes didn't open. "Cinderpaw?" He asked, starting to worry. He suddenly noticed that he could barely feel her breathing and that her warmth was slowly disappearing. "Hey... my love... I know you're tired but please... open your eyes for me. D-don't... fall asleep." Jaystream needed to know that she was going to be okay. She had to be! They finally had a family now... that's what their dream and it wouldn't be complete if Cinderpaw...

The little she-cat slowly opened her eyes but they didn't look at the kits but they met the warrior's green gaze. The deputy watched her with wide open eyes as she managed to draw a peaceful smile on her face. A single tear ran through her cheek and she wrapped weakly her thin tail around the tom's body. No voice escaped from her muzzle but the deputy understood perfectly what her lips tried to say.

"I love you... Thank... you..."

And at that moment, everything became cold as he head fell on his fluffy tail, eyes closed forever. The world of the blue-grey tabby seemed to stop and it was like every tiny bit of happiness and warmth of his world disappeared with Cinderpaw's last breath. Something broke inside his chest and tears started coming out of his green eyes as he shakily muttered. "No... don't... leave me, please. I need... you... You can't... We promised... I promised to always protect you... didn't I? Cinderpaw... wake up... I'm... begging you." He cried, devastated. The deputy couldn't feel anything rather than pain and sadness. Why? Why did she have to die? Why today? Why after she finally had the family she always wanted? It was so unfair...

The tom hold her tighter and closed his eyes tightly, clenching his fangs. "I-I... love you... so, please,... don't leave me alone..."

Goldeneye had done all she could have done, but there was nothing the she-cat could do but ease Cinderpaw's pain. A litter that large, a she-cat so small, there was no way the birth would go without complications. She didn't know the she-cat that well but knew that she and Jaystream were mates, that they loved each other very much. Goldeneye's heart ached as she saw the life before her, die like an ember. Goldeneye would have given her life in turn for Cinderpaw's life, but Starclan would not be so kind. Goldeneye cautiously stepped forwards, afraid; but afraid of what? There were so many things to fear at the moment, but she did not know what was worse.

Goldeneye watched as Jaystream sputtered and sobbed, his strong jaw clenching and his green eyes disappearing beneath closed eyes. She could feel her eyes water, anticipating rejection of her advances by Jaystream. Crouching by the calico queen, she pressed her nose to her forehead, her eyes shutting softly. "Cinderpaw, I send you off to Starclan, to hunt warm fields and swim in cool waters, to eat the juiciest of fish and bask in the warmest of suns and stones. May you also commute with long lost family and camp-mates, watching over your kittens and Jaystream with your gentle yellow eyes." Goldeneye turned to look at the kittens that lay mewling at her belly, and suddenly, everything seemed clear.

Almost.

The kittens would not survive the night without a mother, never-the-less a cold, dead one. Goldeneye looked down at them pitifully before looking back up at Jaystream. "Jaystream... the kittens... what is to be done? The kittens won't last the night without a surrogate. I mean- I can ask the queens, but... nine kittens on top of their own will be too much for them, there won't be enough milk for them to suckle." Goldeneye spluttered, trying to figure out a viable way to keep the kittens alive and all together. Softly, she tried to nudge the kittens closer to Jaystream, to give them warmth, to buy them some time until they could figure something out. Something needed to be done, and quickly.

She was a medicine cat, she should have all the answers. The kittens needed milk and warmth, she could get them all split up between the queens until they were around the age where they were old enough to remember things then hopefully one of the queens could finish suckling them all together. Cinderpaw's body needed to be addressed as well, it needed to be removed and cherished by the clan, buried too. It was all just too much in so little time, Jaystream needed time to mourn too... Goldeneye sighed softly, looking down at Cinderpaw's body sadly, why did she have to die?

The devastated warrior cried silently by Cinderpaw's side and kept his eyes closed until he heard Goldeneye's voice. The tom opened his green eyes just to see her saying the last farewell for his mate. Her words caused more tears in his green eyes and once she was done, the tom collapsed by the calico she-cat's side, covering her and the kittens with his body. He could feel them mewing and move in her belly and the tom looked at them with a blurry vision. Ten kits... He was now a father. But what was the worth of that if he couldn't enjoy the happiness of having a family if Cinderpaw wasn't there anymore? They always wanted a family together... a family that would bring them the joy of living in clan knowing that their kits would be there, living a happy life in Riverclan. Now, that illusion was gone... what was he going to do now? He was alone... he couldn't take of them without their mother. He was only a tom but... the deputy knew he couldn't let them die. Not after Cinderpaw's sacrifice.

He didn't turn his head toward his friend when she talked to him. His green eyes were fixed on the peaceful shape of Cinderpaw and his newborn kits. "I... I don't know... I-I-I can't d-do this alone, Goldeneye! We were supposed to be together on this... m-me and C-Cinderpaw... But now... I'm alone... my mate is... dead..." Saying those were like feeling like someone clawed his heart off his chest. "W-what can I-I do? I-if I move them to the nursery... they will die by the cold... and Tinytip c-can't leave the nursery because she already has a kit on her own... S-she can't leave Duskkit either..." He cried desperately. He had to do something now or Cinderpaw's death won't have any value. This is what she wanted. A family of her own. He... he had to protect that.

Jaystream cried like a little defenceless kit... what should he do? The only ones here where her and he. How could they...? The tom suddenly turned his face toward the golden-furred she-cat standing by his side. Despite his painful and destroyed look, he managed to have an idea. "Goldeneye... I-I don't know what to do. I-I don't think I can do much but you... y-you can give them milk for this night, r-right? I-I-I know it's not something I-I should ask to a m-medicine cat but... you're the only one I-I can trust to do this. I-I need you... t-they need you. Please..." He begged, his green eyes filled with tears.

Goldeneye listened to Jaystream, her eyes widening as her fur bristled and she took a step back. Her? Mother the kits? But that was against the code surely, despite it not saying anything against it. But, how could she not deny him? He was a new father with no cat to help him now, he had lost a mate, and her indecision would cost the kits their lives. She was the only one he could trust, he said that. "How could I?" She sputtered, looking at the ten mewling kits. Goldeneye looked down before pressing her mouth together and nodding tightly, "Okay. Only until the end of the night." She huffed, her chest clenching with apprehension.

Turning on her paws she padded to her herb storage, now decently stocked but only due to blood being spilled on the moors. Grasping two leaves of borage, she chewed them and swallowed them hastily before padding back. What would Ivystar say about this? Nudging Jaystream aside she pulled the ten kittens into her belly, her hackles raised as she was on even ground with Cinderpaw. Gulping she meowed without looking away, "Get a fresh, warm nest built from what you can gather from in here and place them in the little divet in the ground in the back." She meowed, clenching her eyes shut as she remembered Tigerpaw.

Goldeneye's heart swelled as she looked down at the kits, squirming and kneading at her teets, struggling to suckle. "Soon." She whispered, pulling her fluffy golden tail over them protectively. The kittens needed to suckle, they were missing vital nutrients that came with the first feeding, but there was nothing she could do. Goldeneye got to work cleaning their fur, warming them and making sure their noses were clear and their lungs working. That they all looked healthy, felt and acted healthily. She just hoped they wouldn't be sickly later in their lives.

When she'd woken up this morning, Ivystar knew something was going to go wrong today. The first thing that the leader had awoken to was the scent of decay and snippets of a dream where she'd stumbled across blacken earth where all seemed lost except little green shoots struggling out of the earth. It had left her on edge, she'd triple checked the borders with patrols, leading on herself only to come back to the pitiful last gasps of a pained queen in labour and the pungent scent of blood leaking from the medicine cat den.

For all her foresight, the omen had come true...

She didn't need to go inside to know who had passed, she'd been concerned for Cinderpaw too. Though she had blessed this union between the pair, Cinderpaw had always been sickly and small. A small litter, perhaps that would have been fine, but the queen's size gave away that it would be an arduous litter to birth. For so long she had wanted her son to be able to experience the joys of having a mate and kits of his own, but it seemed that it had only brought him misery. StarClan was cruel, to give so much only to snatch it away.

Wearily, the leader padded away to the fringes of the territory to bury both queen and kits. She wouldn't allow Jaystream to take part in digging his own mate's grave, it was the little mercy that she could offer. She clawed into the icy earth, uncovering stones and roots to form a neat hollow where Cinderpaw would finally rest with her kits. Only when finished her task, did she come back to camp, paws muddied from the dirt as she went over to offer her condolences and what little comfort her words could bring. That was when she heard mewling, weak, but soft mewling of kits. It was certainly an unexpected surprise. She had thought that such a small queen with a large litter would result in death for all, but did some of them make it?

Quickly grooming the dirt off herself, she made herself presentable, clean so that no illness would pass to the kits as she slipped into the medicine cat den to confirm with her own eyes.

Cinderpaw was dead, her body laid in the crook of her son's grieved frame. But next to Goldeneye, curled between her tail and her belly was a litter of... Ten? It was a startling sight, startling enough that she didn't even bat an eye at the fact her medicine cat of all cats was nursing the kits.

"Jaystream, my son," Ivystar began, not knowing what to say. She came forward to wrap her body around him, forepaws dragging him tight against her, as her tail curled around him. She licked away his tears, the tang of salt serving as a wound to her very core. "You will get through this, my precious Jay. We will make sure these kits want for nothing. Cinderpaw may not be with us, but you are not alone... Goldeneye, what did you say you needed? Moss, feathers?"

She could not change what happened today, but she could do her damn hardest to ensure these kit's survival. It was the only thing she knew how to do.

T-Thank you... Goldeneye..." He mewed with a brief nod before returning his eyes to the kits. They were going to be safe... they had to. He dipped his head on his fur's mate before the leader entered the den and Goldeneye told him what to do. The deputy gave Cinderpaw a last loving lick on her head, as a goodbye. "I'm sorry... I love you..." He whispered quietly before leaving the medicine cat den. He somehow knew that when he came back, the calico she-cat won't be there.

Outside, the storm continued to fall on the camp but the cold was nothing compared to his pain. The cold, devastating pain that filled every cell of his body. He weakly managed to enter the warrior's den and he approached his den covered in soft, new moss and feathers. He gathered everything he could in his jaws and then he went back to Goldeneye's den. Silently, he tried to ignore the fact that Cinderpaw wasn't there but the blood was still in her former nest and the memories flooded him. Tears continued falling from his eyes as he placed the moss and feathers next to the kits and Goldeneye...

After that was done, he sat down and let his mother embrace him, even though he had never shown him affection since he was an apprentice. The tall tom leaned on her, crying as a kit, but the cold and pain in his heart didn't fade. However... Ivystar was right about him. He wasn't alone. He had Goldeneye... he had Ivystar. He hated the idea of raising his kit without his mate but... it had to be done. "I-I will t-take care of them. F-for Cinderpaw..."

Leaving the side of the tabby she-cat, he approached the golden-furred she-cat and looked down at the kits. They were alive... they had a chance to live. All of them were now part of Riverclan, his and Cinderpaw's home, so they deserved names now that they were going to join his clan. Taking a deep breath as he tried to contain the tears, the deputy started with his first-born, a pale blue-grey tabby tom. "H-he will be Cinderkit, i-in honour of my m-mate's sacrifice. The d-darker one will be called... Stormkit..." He mewed sadly as he barely glanced at the snow storm outside. Then, his eyes fixed on the smaller kit of the litter. A beautiful light coloured grey she-cat. "Y-you will be Littlekit. And the o-one with the m-messy fur will be named Hailkit, after my dead brother. The other two she-kits will be known as O-orchidkit and S-sagekit... and..." He suddenly stopped on the two calico toms who looked so similar to their mother. A single drop fell on his cheek as he continued. "The larger calico tom will be... R-robinkit and the other one is now B-brightkit. Pikekit will be your new name, because... C-cinderpaw loved that kind of fish. And... the last tom is Peatkit..." It felt wrong to choose the names without Cinderpaw by his side. However, they deserved to have their own names. That would be what his mate would have wanted for them.

Goldeneye watched the leader and deputy bustle about, preparing. Once Ivystar asked her of what needed to be done, she nodded. "First let's get the kits transferred into the new, clean nest." Goldeneye gently ordered, trying to slip away from the kittens as they mewled with protest. She did not like nursing them, not one bit, but it was at Jaystreams request and the kits lives at stake. Goldeneye picked up a kitten in her mouth and quickly began transferring them, gently enough to not harm them. It was almost a completely noticeable change in their behaviour as they quieted and tucked in.

"We need to discuss on what's going to happen now." Goldeneye meowed, her gaze darkening as she settled back into the nest, to her relief, they did not begin to suckle once more. "What will happen to the kits?" Goldeneye looked to both Jaystream and Ivystar as she asked this. Everything needed to be sorted, like her herb storage.