What Have I Become? {CLOSED}

Everything was dark and grey since the day when his best friend died. The golden tom didn’t find a reason to continue anymore. His friends... his family... his clan. All torned apart by Riverclan. First, they took his only living littermate, his twin. And soon after that, she died. Then... Shrewheart died in front of his eyes because of the leg that was injured by a Riverclan warrior. They took Flickerpaw away and Specklefang’s life. Everything they brought to him was misery, death and they kept taking things away from him and his clan. Reedheart couldn’t handle his grief anymore. But the pain didn’t bring him sadness. The sorrow only became anger and hatred toward the clan that destroyed his life.

He walked slowly to the Sunningrocks with his claws unsheathed by the rage filling his mind like poison. The usual pacific tom was gone, being replaced by a vengeful Reedheart that was being driven by his pain and grief. The son of the deputy wasn’t going to be weak anymore. If he wanted to protect the remaining parts of his life, then he had to make Riverclan paid for what they’ve done and show them that they shouldn’t mess up with Thunderclan again.

The precariously thin ice underpaw groaned and creaked in a threatening manner, trembling with each step that Adderpaw boldly took. With each rise of the sun, she drew closer and closer to her inevitable Warrior ceremony- a fact that only strengthened her normally bold and unpredictable nature. Something akin to invincibility seemed practically within her grasp, falling closer and closer to her awaiting paws with each passing of the sun. Warriorhood was so close she could practically taste it and all of the luxurious freedoms that entailed! Crossing the final tail-lengths of the ice encased river with a powerful leap, she felt the weak ice underpaw buckle and splinter due to the force of her bound. A gaping wound in the river was left in her wake, allowing the soft chattering of the rapidly flowing waters to fill the air. Drying her paws in the shaggy and brittle grass, Adderpaw paused for a moment to gaze at the stones that laid before her.

So this was the Sunningrocks? For all the squabbling that had ensued over the meager pile of rocks, you'd think it would be much nicer that this! Face twisting in a disappointed scowl, Adderpaw cautiously approached the nearest stone, completely unaware of Reedheart's rapid approach. Inhaling sharply, the young she-cat was only able to taste the faint scent of old blood and fear in place of anything useful. Wasn't there any prey around here? Rolling her shoulders in disappointment, the young apprentice began to quietly lurk around the stones in a futile search for any potential prey.

And there he saw her. The golden tom looked at the young Riverclan she-cat with a frown and a hiss coming out of his mouth. She wa clearly distracted and probably an apprentice. But as soon as he smelled her scent, the anger rose in him. Every memory of the battle returned, the image of his dead friend and the face of his sister when she was being taken away by Riverclan warriors. That was the only he could see when he tresspassed and tackled Adderpaw with his body, sinking his claws on her chest and forehead. ”No Riverclan cat will ever come back here while I’m alive! I won’t let you take anything else from my clan... from me...” He growled, feeling how his claws got deeper into her skin.

OOC: Reed will take her eye after your next post

"What are you talking about?" Adderpaw shrieked, thrashing beneath Reedheart, wincing as she felt his claws trap her in place. She had been so wrapped up in the intrusive thoughts of her awaiting Warrior ceremony that she hadn't even seen the ThunderClanner until it was too late. Wheezing out a rushed breath, the young she-cat struggled to properly inhale with the clearly enraged tom's weight resting so directly upon her chest. Feeling herself get stretched out at an awkward angle due to how Reedheart pinned her down, she let out a panicked hiss. "I don't even know you, you crazy old snake! So get off!" She seethed, heart pulsing heavily within her precariously positioned throat. Defiantly meeting the golden tom's gaze, she tried to keep a brave expression plastered across her face.

A part of her wanted to cry out for Splashwillow or Viperstorm in hopes that they would hear her, but the fear of seeing the disappointment upon their faces kept her mostly quiet. Her parents were both highly respected among the Clan, but their daughter couldn't even defend herself? Feeling a spark of frantic anger, Adderpaw viciously tore at Reedheart's exposed underbelly with her hind claws, all the while spitting, "Didn't you hear me, you old badger? I said get off!"

The tom didn’t think straight when his belly was torned apart by the smaller Riverclan she-cat. Everything he could feel was the desire of blood and his vision was covered in red when he placed one paw on the She-cat’s. In one second, his claws went deeper into her flesh and the tom crossed her face with an angry swipe that destroyed completely the left eye of the apprentice. Fur and blood got stuck between his paws but he couldn’t care less about it. Snarling viciously, Reedheart looked at the mangled Adderpaw with fury in his green eyes. ”Your clan took everything from me! Our hunting spot... my sister and... my best friend. I won’t let any of you harm my clanmates again, even if that means killing every single cat that gets in my way!” He shouted before sinking his fangs into the she-cat’s neck.

OOC: Jay Bird, you can post now or after Seer. Whatever you want.

"Will I get to see you again?"

Although she saw Reedheart's claws descend upon her face, Adderpaw hardly felt anything. There was simply a terrible pressure that lasted several painfully long heartbeats before nothing but darkness. A strange film spread across her right eye, obscuring what little vision she still retained. What...what happened? Her muscles moved on their own accord, struggling wildly against the heavier tom, dropping the skillful moves that she had learned in an attempt to ensure her survival. Although Reedheart was rambling above her, the only discernible thing she was able to hear above the strange ringing was the faint sound of her own voice.

"Or do I really have to wait until I'm dead?"

Watery gaze struggling to adjust to the sudden vicious loss of sight in her left eye, Adderpaw's struggles grew weaker and weaker beneath Reedheart's claws as the blood loss became more profuse. The weak light of day above her became splotchy, obscuring certain parts of Reedheart's face and the barren trees high above them. Was she going to die? Suddenly, she felt small beneath her blood stained fur. She didn't want to make Splashwillow have to bury another kit. She didn't want to disappoint Rainstorm- she wanted to get to know him! She wanted to see Snowblossom and Minnowslip again. She didn't want to die! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! The terrifying thought bounced frantically within her mind, paralyzing her beneath the ThunderClanner.

Too weak to do anything but hang limply as Reedheart's teeth sank into her throat, Adderpaw's remaining pupil dilated as her gaze was forced skyward. Pulse drumming wildly within the confines of her veins, the young she-cat was startled to see the faintest outline of a familiar face above her. "Tigerpaw..." She whispered, confused as to why blood bubbled at her lips as she spoke. Where was all this blood coming from? Tigerpaw's face only gazed back at her, eyes laden with an unreadable emotion as Reedheart's teeth broke the skin. "Tigerpaw!" Adderpaw cried, the meager amount of strength left in her voice wavering slightly, pleading for her littermate to do something. Anything.

Jaystream was walking alone in the territories after he just finished a hunting patrol with a few of his clanmates. He was calm since he knew that his kits were safe in the medicine cat den with Goldeneye and the exhausted tom really needed a break to just thinking and be alone.

However, the peace was soon interrupted when he heard the screams of one of the she-cats he named an apprentice moons ago. Without thinking twice, the large tom ran toward the river, desperate and highly worried about the safety of his clanmates. But what really freaked him out was when he smelled the sudden scent of blood.

No... not again The memory of a similar situation returned to him. The day he found Goldenpaw with her belly completely open by the claws of a Windclan cat. That image got stuck in his head as he tried to run faster, his heart beating at full-speed.

When he reached the Sunningrocks, he watched with horror the scene: Adderpaw's face was covered in blood and she struggled under the body of a bigger Thunderclan warrior with gold fur. Under all that red liquid, the deputy couldn't see a lot of her or if she even was alive. But one thing was sure. He wasn't going to let him lay another paw on her. He won't let his clanmates get hurt while he was there with them.

"Don't touch her!" With a battle yowl, Jaystream tackled the other warrior with a leap that ended up with both toms falling in the frozen river. The RiverClanner managed to stand up carefully in the dedicated ice and he looked at the face of his opponent. When he saw his eyes, the deputy couldn't help his anger rose inside of him as he remembered the day he met that tom. "You..." He hissed, furiously. Now he could recognize Reedheart, the cat that was part of the battle when three ThunderClanners left Cinderpaw to fall into a coma. It seemed that the golden tabby didn't change at all since that day. He was still like the most of his clanmates: a filthy and fox-hearted cat that was willing to kill and maim to get what they wanted. "What in Starclan name were you doing!? Adderpaw is just an apprentice! Have you no honour, Reedheart?! You are still the same battle-thirsty tom that I met in the Gorge!" He spatted with anger.

When he was about to break her neck, a bigger body threw him away from the she-cat to the ice. Growling, the golden tom stood up and he snarled viciously at the Riverclan deputy. His more wild self kept repeating him to kill Jaystream an that he made a mistake when he didn’t eliminate him when they were apprentice. ”Are you blind? I’m trying to eliminate the Riverclan’s danger by any way needed! Your clan took everything from me! And I’ll take everything from Riverclan as well. The death and pain of my clanmates won’t be in vain if I kill Ivystar’s precious son and deputy!” He yowled before leaping toward him and pushing him down with his paws on his chest. Two scars were barely visible from the fight they had in the Gorge and now it was time to finish the job. ”I wish I killed you and your beloved calico friend when I had the chance... But now I’ll give to your leader the same pain she caused to me when she took away Honeyspark from my side...”

The darkness was seconds away from completely overtaking her vision. Even though her pulse had weakened significantly now, the blood that still wept from her irreparably damaged eye seemed never ending. A strange drowsiness overtook Adderpaw, allowing her to fall completely limp in Reedheart's grasp, even as his teeth tightened menacingly. Although she could still see the familiar face of Tigerpaw looming above her, his features now seemed far off and distorted. The gnawing, ripping fear of death that had plagued her heartbeats earlier seemed like a lifetime ago. Trapped between the claws and teeth of the older ThunderClanner, the strange lethargic fog that tugged at her flesh seemed much more comforting. Letting out a garbled sigh of nonsensical words, Adderpaw's remaining eye drooped shut in a reluctant acceptance.

Unfortunately, death never came. In place of the soft, comforting warmth that lingered just beyond her reach, a sharp shriek cut through the air- jolting Adderpaw away from her dangerous haze. Forcing her heavy eye open once more, she was only just able to catch sight of a somewhat recognizable flash of blue-grey fur before she was ripped away from Reedheart's grasp. "Jay...stream?" Slung to the side and away from the ensuing battle between Reedheart and Jaystream, she was suddenly aware of how much pain she was truly in. The scorching flames of agony pulsed through her veins now, tearing deeply at her flesh and bones and making her skin feel alight with searing pain that caused her to twist and curl in upon herself awkwardly.

A groan bubbled up from deep within Adderpaw's chest, shaking her entire form as she struggled to remain conscious. Feeling her legs sway and tremble fiercely, the young she-cat began to drag herself further from the ice that Jaystream and Reedheart now battled at. Each stumble sent a terrible pounding through her skull, making her wheeze and hiss profusely as she struggled to put distance between the toms. Collapsing against a nearby stone, Adderpaw huddled against the frigid stone, gazing at the river with a wide, unseeing eye.

Jaystream hissed when the tom pushed him down to the ice. He could hear the cracking under his back and he knew that the ice wouldn't last long. He looked at the eyes of the ThunderClanner and he saw in them something familiar: pain mixed with anger. He knew that feeling well even if it never controlled him to this extreme. That was what he felt for Thunderclan... for Leafstorm, Blazingwing and Reedheart when they wounded Cinderpaw.

He clenched his fangs and looked from the corner of his eyes at the wounded apprentice barely alive on the riverbank. He couldn't see her eye and all the blood covered most of her face but he knew that she was looking at him. He could feel it. Adderpaw was probably so scared and it was all because of a cat's pointless revenge. Of one cat who was filled with pain.

He suddenly returned his gaze to Reedheart and he did not hesitate. He hardened his expression but at the same time, he looked comprehensive and empathetic toward the tom. "See what you're doing, Reedheart! Are you the warrior you swore to be when you were an apprentice? Look at what you have done and what you're doing! Look at Adderpaw! Is that what you want? More death, pain and bloodshed? If you kill us, your clan will be in danger, can't you see!? My death will only lead Ivystar to slaughter your whole clan and for what? For a revenge? You will only start another war! Is this what your sister would have wanted? Is this what Leopardclaw expected of you? Look at yourself! Are you the cat that deserves to be called a warrior?" He mewed loudly as he put his hind legs on his belly, ready to push him away if he tried to murder him. He couldn't die here... he had to protect Adderpaw and his clan from this mess.

The tom’s madness suddenly stopped when the other warrior started talking about his family. Instead of raging up again, Reedheart stopped... just for few seconds. In that pause, he saw clarity.

He turned his sight to the apprentice bloodied in the riverbank by his own claws... Seeing her reminded him how his own sister, Cherrykit died by the claws of Rockthorn. What was he doing? Was he any different from the tom that murdered his sister and started a fire in the whole forest? What would Cherrykit said if she was there? What would his father and mother said? His green eyes returned to the tom under his paws. The same cat he fought so fiercely when he was an apprentice. What was the point of doing this anymore? Like he said, his blood would only start the cycle of death and war once again and... he feared for his clan’s safety.

Slowly and clearly shocked, Reedheart started to move his paw away from the tom. He was shaking like a little kit. What had he become? He was just like the monster that Rockthorn was. What he did and what he was going to do... was no better than Ivystar and Riverclan’s actions. Thanks to his mental weakness he started to be everything he hated. Did he even deserved to be called a warrior anymore? He wasn’t sure anymore. He let Honeyspark die... he wounded Jaystream’s friend so badly when he was an apprentice... he maimed an innocent apprentice... and he was about to kill Riverclan’s deputy. The golden tom realized that he broke the promise he made when he reached warriorhood: follow the Code.

Regretfully, he started to step back slowly but the ice was too thin to bare the weight of the two warriors. Reedheart opened his mouth to say sorry... but the words never came out. The ice cracked and the water filled his lungs. Reedheart didn’t fight anymore. The cold surrounding him was as painful as his inner wounds. This was what he deserved. A monster like him... didn’t deserve to live any longer.

Time seemed to move slower. Jaystream watched how Reedheart started to back off slowly and how his angry look changed to a confused, sad and regretful one. The deputy noticed how his mouth opened to say something but the moment was over when he felt the cold water after hearing the crack of the ice. His instincts as a Riverclan warrior made him react quick enough to swim up and breath desperately but he wasn't going to come to the shore... not yet.

Even if he hadn't forgiven the golden tom for all what he did, he couldn't let him die... not when he knew he could save him. That's why he put his head down the surface once again and he opened his eyes searching for the blurry silhouette of a ThunderClanner who wasn't able to swim. The grey tabby tom swam fast to the other tom and when he felt him, he grabbed his body by the scruff and, using every part of his body, he struggled to carry Reedheart to the riverbank.

At first, he thought he would drown but he fought against his own tired body and managed to reach his objective. As soon as his mouth left the water, he took a deep breath and pushed the gold-furred warrior to the shore. Jaystream was shaking by the physical effort and the cold that was filling his body but he still moved forward and put both of his paws on Reedheart's chest. Surely, the tom already had water in his lungs and he had to take that liquid somehow. "Come on... Don't die here!" He mewed desperately. He wasn't his friend. He was probably the closest thing he had to a rival but still... he could feel how the thought of seeing him dead would bring him pain as well because... he would feel guilty for not saving him. "For Starclan's sake! Why don't you move, ThunderClanner! I'm trying to save you, can't you see?!"

The frost-rimmed rock that Adderpaw was huddled against felt frigid, the unrelenting chill of the bloodied stone slowly but surely seeping away what little warmth remained in Adderpaw's system. Heart thudding wildly within her chest, the young she-cat continued to press against the smooth stone in a desperate attempt to remain tethered to reality. The dark blotches that plagued her vision serving as a frightening reminder of just how close she came to suffering a very different fate beneath the ThunderClanner's claws. The rapid beating of her heart and the great blood loss was distorting her perception of reality, causing Jaystream and Reedheart's hisses and snarls to sound odd and far-off.

Blinking rapidly to desperately clear the bloody film out of her remaining eye, Adderpaw's eye remained wide with shock and unbridled pain as the ice finally gave way between the two toms. Wounds throbbing prominently as she watched Reedheart plunge into the icy waters of the river, the brief moment of final eye contact shared between the two only unnerved her further. The expression upon Reedheart's face perfectly conveyed the grating, tearing agony that ripped at her face. It was a frightening notion to realize. The dazed and anguished look returned to Adderpaw's eye as she watched Jaystream struggle to pull the golden tom free of the dark river, her only response being a meager, wordless squawk of fear.

The water entered his lungs like a flood... the pain of feeling how your breath went away was almost unbearable... almost. Because there was a greater pain for the tom than that.

Weakened, he opened his eyes in the cold water and in his blurry vision he saw the memories of his kit-hood, Cherrykit, Honeykit, the warmth of Lichenfang and the smile of Leopardclaw. The memories continued to fill his mind. Images of  Shrewheart, Sharptooth and his apprentice, Heatherpaw. They all gave him love, happiness and he... was probably going to disappoint them with his actions. This pain and death were what he deserved after all the harm he caused to Jaystream, to his mate and to that young apprentice. He didn't deserve to be saved but still... someone was willing to do that.

A voice called his name and the warrior opened his eyes. He saw a worried blue-grey tom surrounded by the woods of his territory. He was in Thunderclan, why? Slowly, he understood what happened when he noticed how wet his fur was. Spilling out water from his mouth, he coughed and managed to speak, shakingly. "You... rescued me..." He mewed fixing his eyes on the tom. He could feel how his body was getting numb slowly and deep inside, he knew that the next time he would close his eyes he wouldn't open them. But still... that tom saved him. The Riverclan deputy took him out of the water when he didn't have to after what he did to his apprentice. Tears started to come out as he smiled. "I... I'm sorry for... everything. Thank you... Jaystream, but... I won't come back to Thunderclan after this... Please... tell my father... what happened... He needs to know the... truth. I just hope... he and Lichenfang... can forgive... me." He mewed with a low voice. With his last strength, the tom put his paw over Jaystream's and closed his eyes, not being able to hold on any longer.

His last thoughts returned back to his family and friends. Although he didn't deserve forgiveness... he still hoped he could see Shrewheart and Cherrykit in Starclan again...

OOC: Reedheart is officially dead. Birdflight and Dawnpetal are free to jump in now.

(OOC: Sorry for the late reply, I had no idea I was supposed to jump in at this point!)

Dawnpetal padded with her adopted sister Birdflight through ThunderClan territory towards Sunningrocks, the two she-cats in charge of checking the border to make sure no overly cocky RiverClan cat tried to cross beyond the border to try and conquer more land.

And what she ended up seeing instead absolutely terrified her.

”Reedheart!” Dawnpetal shrieked, racing to his adopted brother and dear mentor, skidding to a halt next to his unmoving body. She trembled heavily, and her tears began to splash against the golden tom’s soaked fur. No... This couldn’t be happening. ThunderClan had lost so many wonderful cats, but he couldn’t lose Reedheart. He was the cat who helped her train to protect herself from Buttercup, the cat who taught her so much about Clan life, the cat who made her feel like she belonged. And now... he was dead.

It was clear as day how he died. He had drowned. She whipped her head up to glare at Jaystream, getting ready to swat at his face, but she just barely stopped herself. She saw no apathy or rage or victory in the deputy’s eyes. Only shock and dismay. He didn’t purposely kill Reedheart, and as easy as it was given the circumstances he wasn’t going to falsely accuse anyone out of grief.

“What happened?...” she whispered brokenly, looking at Jaystream with desperate sorrow. She needed to know what happened to her dear brother and mentor. She needed to know who truly was responsible for his death.