Smile a bit!

Swiftstep had been noticing something strange about a particular she-cat. Fernfeather was usually cheerful and all smiles but he had noticed her face fall when she thought nobody was looking. Were those smiles a curtain to hide what she really felt? The tom couldn't help but do something. Her strange behavior started when she lost one of her eyes. It really showed when she lost her tail. Swiftstep was determined to make her smile, a true smile.

The tom was currently coming back from a solo hunting spree. He had caught a nice plump rabbit along with two birds. He placed the feathered prey on the prey-pile but still had the rabbit dangling from his jaws. The warrior wanted to give this to Fernfeather but he also wanted to take her to the Lone stump. A place he had been before with a childhood crush but also in his lonely warrior years to think. Before he realized, he was standing in front of the she-cat. Swiftstep placed down the rabbit in front of her and began to speak. "Hey. This is for you." he looked around before he continued but softer, "I wanted to cheer you up. You looked pretty down lately and I wanted to fo something for you." He gently nudged her and stared at her with warm, dark amber eyes. He didn't let Fernfeather speak before he began again, "Let's go to the Lone stump! We can talk there with privacy." He got up and gave her his signature grin before walking away, hoping she was coming.

Fernfeather looked up at the tom in surprise, and when he offered the rabbit to her she immediately forced a kind smile. It hurt more and more with each passing day to pretend to be happy to her Clanmates, and she felt she was beginning to let herself slip a little, which truly scared her. For StarClan's sake, she unintentionally hissed at her newest little sister the other day, something she would never dream of doing! Her smile quivered and wavered a little, threatening to fall again, but she forced it to stay.

Before she could speak, Swiftstep had invited her to the Lone Stump, then he padded off before she could say anything at all. A little confused, she considered staying where she was. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now. But... he did bring her a rabbit. And she would hate to be so rude after such a kind gesture. She rose up to her paws slowly and grabbed the fresh-kill in her jaws before following after him out of the camp.

The sleek tom fell behind to keep in pace with Fernfeather. He gave her a supportive smile. Once they get to the Lone stump, he'll begin asking her why her personality suddenly changed.

The two walked for a bit until they reached the stump. He sat down and signaled for her to sit as well. Once they were comfortable, he began to talk, "Do you want to know why I brought you here so suddenly? Lately, I've noticed that you didn't seem like your old self. What happened to that jolly apprentice that always brought a smile on my face? Since becoming a warrior you seem awfully gloomy and depressed. Is it because you lost your eye saving Coyotekit? I see that as a story starter! Something others will admire you for. You saved a kit! Not many warriors have done that in their lifetime. You almost sacrificed yourself for a kit that wasn't even yours! I wish I were as brave as you!" The brown tom breathed in before continuing, "Is your sadness from the loss of your tail or the death of Fawnpaw a while back? Is it from a combination of everything. Is it all weighing you down? Fernfeather I brought you here so you can let it all out. I know you don't really want to talk about it all in front of your peers. I'm relaible. I will never judge or think any different of you. You deserve better. You have a great heart but life had thrown you into harsh obstacles. I'm willing to lend you a paw, a shoulder to cry on. It makes me sad when I see those fake smiles and forced laughs. The smile you gave me earlier sure wasn't a genuine one. I want you to relax, enjoy the life you have. Despite all the hardships, I know that good'ole Fernpaw is still inside of you and you just have to trust in her. She wants you to be your old self again. I want you to smile a bit. Actually smile." Swiftstep said with the warmest and most inviting expression that he had ever shown. The tom didn't know he had that in him. "Fernfeather, I want you to let me help you. I want you to tell me everything that is wrong. We'll go through the pain together. I hope you know that you can trust me. No word of this will be released and I promise that i'll support you every step of the way." the warrior concluded.

OOC: Fernfeather's therapy session! XD

By the time Swiftstep finished speaking, Fernfeather was practically completely broken. She didn't know any other cat knew she was only pretending to be happy for everyone else's sake. No one asked if she was okay, but she knew it was because she made herself seem like she didn't have a care in the world. But now that there was a cat who knew what was hidden behind her forced smile, that he was inviting her to vent her troubles and let all her pent up emotions out, she couldn't seem to stop crying. She never knew how much she needed to let everything out until now.

"I-I do feel nice about saving Coyotekit, I'm glad I did, but all I've ever wanted to do was serve my Clan the best way I can. Since I blinded my eye I haven't been able to hunt or fight well at all. I loved running on the moor and chasing rabbits, but now I can't do that as well as I used to anymore and it... it hurts! It hurts so much knowing I can never be the warrior Quailfeather raised me to be! It hurts knowing I can never repay my Clan for all they have done for me in my youth! I just... I just want to be a worthy warrior of WindClan, but I can't... I hold everyone back, and I don't want to...

"And I'm turning so mean!" Fernfeather continued to wail. "I wasn't paying attention as I crossed the Thunderpath, and I fought and defeated a deaf ShadowClan cat on her own territory! And I snapped at Sandkit because she was too sleepy to meet me! I feel so bad, and I'm just a horrible cat! I... I deserve everything that happened to me. I..." She suddenly turned over one of her forepaws, revealing several cuts and scars along her dark gray pads that didn't heal. It was clear she hadn't gone to Mottleheart or Featherpaw to get them treated. "I-I've been causing myself s-so much misery on my own accord... It h-hurts to run... Since I can't ever b-be a warrior that Quailfeather and Ashstar and the other c-cats want me to be, why bother t-trying?..." She finally collapsed on the ground and buried her face in her paws, whimpering and whining loudly as she cried.

(OOC: I really hope this doesn't hit too close to home for anyone who comes across this... ^^;)

Swiftstep dropped down and placed a gentle paw on her back. His gaze softened at her crying form. He felt bad for having her relive all that but she needed to let it all out. "Hey hey. Shh shh shh. It's okay. Fernfeather, do you really think Quailfeather thinks any less of you? Do you really believe the clan thinks any less of you? You aren't holding anybody back! You're a strong warrior, a capable one! The only cat you're holding back is yourself! You need to believe that you can do it! If I believe you can then you can! I've seen completely deaf cats and completely blind cats never give up! You just need your spirits boosted! I'm also sure that Sandkit isn't mad at you. She'll understand. I believe that your mental state had caused you to fight that deaf cat. I know you aren't horrible and that you don't deserve anything that had happened to you. You're loyal to Windclan and know what you've done wrong and right. I have so much faith in you Fernfeather. Believe in your abilities. You're capable of doing so much but you have to get rid of this negativity in yourself." Swiftstep pressed his forehead to hers. "Fernfeather look at me. Brighten up those pretty green eyes. Try to see all the positive things in your life. I've had many hardships but I try to see the good sides of it all. Sometimes things seem like there's nothing to smile about. I get that. But to escape that darkness you must first find the light. One good thing, out of many, I see in you is your perseverance. You may not believe me but if you truly gave up, you may not be walking on this ground. You may have disappeared. I still see you. You're struggling but you're here." the tom said softly. He gave her time to think silently. Only the gentle breeze was making a sound.

Fernfeather blinked the tears out of her eyes as she looked into Swiftstep's. And finally, after several heartbeats, a purr began to rumble in her throat. She didn't know if it was subconscious or not, but she began to genuinely feel better. He believed in her. Everyone all around her believed in her that she could still give everything her all despite her disabilities. It felt so good to hear that from someone.

"Thank you, Swiftstep..." she mewed softly. For the first time in so long, a small, yet genuine smile stretched across her muzzle. "Thank you so much. I always thought that to be the best warrior you had to be perfect. But now I know I can still be the best warrior that I can be, even if I'm not perfect. I'll do my best to look on the brighter side of things again. Stars... If you noticed how sad I really was, perhaps others did, too. I'll just have to show them I'm still the same cheerful and enthusiastic Fernfeather I used to be."

The brown tom nodded, his gaze was filled will compassion. He was glad that he could help a great clan-mate. He softly nudged the she-cat and then pushed the rabbit to her. "If you don't eat, it'll get colder than it already is." he purred with a playful twinkle in his amber eyes. The tom waited patiently for her to finish before they headed back to camp.

OOC: A great first topic! :) We should do another a bit later~

(OOC: Definitely! I'm really liking the chemistry they have so far! :3)