Don't Tell Me To Smile. {Closed For Dimmeh}

Bat dragged his paws on the way to the barn, he had to bring the news of Jaguar's death. His fur would have stuck up from the tense feeling in his heart but, it didn't, his pelt stuck to him due to how short it was. It was difficult to make the shift from stone-faced to his exposed self. So, he didn't. He bound towards the barn now, just wanting to get out of the horrid wind. When he reached the barn, he let out a sigh and cleared his throat.

Pepper finished putting the herbs away, out of reach of pesky rodents. Things were coming together once again. Now, she'd have more control over things. With a smile, she laid her head on her paws, looking at her work. The sound of paw steps made her twist around. She had been wondering when Jaguar would return, guessing that she went back to help Midnight out the grip of DarkClan. However, a different gaze met her own. "Bat! I was wondering when you'd come to see me again, you had me worried." She began making her way to him but, halfway there, he spoke.

"Jaguar is dead." he said bluntly. Struggling to break out of the cold visage. "She died on the Thunderpath, I just came back from finding her.

"W-what?" she said shakily, halting. The wind hushed and left them in silence. Her gaze grew dull and she shook her head. "I don't get it... Why now? Things are going so well!" she asked, not intending to get an answer.

He shook his head as well, "You've blurred your lines too much Pepper. Have you forgotten that we are loners? The 'scum of the forest' the lazy slacking vermin that attack anything that moves? Even if we work harder than everyone else, nothing changes."

"We have to change something! Maybe cats will take after us later on after we die." she meowed, fiery eyes looking at her mate.

He scoffed, "They'll die before they pass anything on, it would be forgotten in a moon. How many have you seen die? Many, right? I'm sure we've been considered elderly by now. We haven't died yet.

Pepper grew closer, narrowing her eyes. "It's worth that slight chance of our efforts reaching a cat, don't you think?"

"I wish it were true, Pepper, but, it isn't. We help cats live a few heartbeats more. But, they won't change."

"What about you?" she asked, "I helped you with a simple bite and look where you are now."

"I stayed here to help you, then, I learned. But, I've been stuck trying not to die in a stupid clan cat's little gang. I have to hide my knowledge. Besides, remember how we helped Midnight and Jaguar? Midnight stole a kit from the clans and taught it to have the worst heart I've ever known. That kit was too young and froze to death recently. Nothing good came from it."

"There hat to be something good to come out of this. We've worked so hard! We've done so much for this."

Bat narrowed his eyes, "You think we're going to get rewarded for what we do? StarClan doesn't care and neither does anyone else. Cats only care when our efforts are to benefit them, remember? Isn't that how I got stuck in DarkClan? We took in some cats and they turned their back on us and attacked us." he said, his tail lashing.

Pepper lowered her head. What Bat had said was true, they were taken advantage of. A lot. "I can't accept it! We can't just be doing this for nothing!"

"Pepper, tell me one time you weren't used." he said flatly.

She was silent as she looked away.

"Think about it. Your sister left you for the cozy clan life. What of ThunderClan, driving out you peers as a kit and then coming back to sleep in the barn? Your former mate never keeping his promise to keep you with your kits." he pressed on, growing nearer.

"One clan doesn't show them all." she retorted.

"No? I don't think they do either but, they give you a pretty good idea. What about when the stars left? The clans sure did use you then. They think we are just dirt to step on worse than it. They've never felt true hunger or loneliness. They've never been forced to look out at a land brimming with food and then risk eating something that has been rotting for a moon instead.

Pepper's fur bristled, he was right. Speaking all the things she had pushed to the side in hopes for a better chance. Her rope was nearing it's end.

"What about Raven?"

It ran out.

Pepper crashed an unsheathed paw across his muzzle, "What are you getting out of this, Bat? What's happened to you?"

The tom blinked the blood out his eyes and growled. "I don't think you've noticed..." he returned the blow down her side and circled her with a lashing tail. "...but I've had to hide my emotions just to stay alive. You just deny everything! The cats that do us wrong are just as pure as the night sky to you. Just kits playing around."

She hissed, laying low to the ground as she watched him move. Her eyes narrowed. "I don't deny it! I just don't let it stop me."

He tackled her and the two tumbled. "There you go again." he spat.

She bit into his foreleg hard and wriggled under him. He may have mobility but, he was thinner and lighter than her. She braced herself and shoved him into the old wooden barn wall. He snarled and let got of her but, not without leaving impressive marks on her.

The she-cat huffed and felt the blood trickle down her side. Her face stung where he had caught his claws on the side of her mouth. She felt a bit of her ear stinging as well. When had that happened? "Why do you care?"

"I... I knew it was in you!" he panted, the breath knocked out of him from her creative defense. "I knew your anger went further than just tears of frustration." he laughed as he staggered and stood. After a moment, he ran towards her. With outstretched claws, he scored down her spine and knocked her over.

The cripple was getting tired, she wasn't sure she could beat him. She shredded his left ear with her claws as well as striking up the side of his face, nearly hitting his eye. The taller growled at her and raised his paw to return the favor, deep claw marks down her own, nearly hitting her throat.

The two were far to wrapped up in their own frustrations.

I was just walking past.

How else would Blacktwig narrate the beginning of the segment of his story? He was tired, too. He studied the area around him. He was adjacent to his territory, and the barn wasn't too far off. His infallibility was undying; he was going to visit his grandmother, Pepper. She must be better now, right? Living contemporarily with Bat, the gaunt black tomcat with piercing blue eyes, whom Blacktwig had met a while ago. He was moving his legs hardily in the thinning sunlight.

He then saw the rickety, yet nostalgic, henna wood of the abandoned barn. Not so abandoned anymore, now that Bat and Pepper, his grandmother and new grandfather, oh-so-happily inhabited it. No worries.

Or so he thought.

Closer, closer he drew. He poked his head through the entrance of the barn, hearing more outcries than usual. A fire brewed in his stomach, a bad, bad feeling. His paws moved through the drab, xanthous hay. He then caught sight of the two cats, arguing in a horrible discord. He moved backwards, and felt rage flare up inside of him. Pepper and Bat were battling together, without any kinship in their actions. It sickened Blacktwig.

"What are you doing?!" he exclaimed with terror. The two shrieking felines appeared more like enemies than mates. "Stop, stop now!" Blacktwig's eyes widened. Here he goes, the petty kit, at the wrong time, he thought scornfully. "I thought you were mates, not foes!" He neared forwards, but jerked back as soon as he saw the sharp claws flying. "I understand you have disagreements, but physical contact is nothing to solve an argument!" Blacktwig looked exasperated, shaking his head miserably.

All of it. It overwhelmed him to his breaking point, but this... incomprehensible. It disconcerted the warrior, and it made him feel strange. Had Mistywater and Swiftheart ever done this? He respired with a small sigh buzzing out of his lips. There was no way to do this, but then his hatred was evoked again. Hopefully he had gotten their attention. If not, he would now.

"I lose my daughters and sons, I barely see my mother, I feel ill, and now this?" he questioned furiously. He felt his blood boil as it coursed through his veins. He stepped forwards, eyes narrowed. He wobbled on his paws, vision blurry. He kept his balance, luckily, but didn't want to see the sight that entered his optic retinas. His ears flattened against his head. Nothing pardoned this, not even the cruel life of a rogue. He had seen Raven die. He had seen Gold leave. But nothing, nothing compared to this. He apperceived all of this now, and it was ghastly. He glared at them with violet-blue eyes glazed with sadness. "Nothing is helping," he hissed, voicing his thoughts,

"So don't tell me to smile."

Pepper halted, surprised to hear the voice of her grandson. Her burning wounds were nothing compared to seeing him like that. She opened her mouth to say something just to get hit with a harsh paw again.

"Are we going to make this a habit, Blacktwig?" Bat hissed at him. His face was dripping with blood and his sides heaved with adrenaline and effort. Pepper had really done a number on him. "I hate to break it to you but, this isn't about you." he growled in response to his question.

While he was distracted, Pepper rolled onto her stomach, pushing herself up harshly to knock into his muzzle.

He spat out of pain and staggered off of her, breathing hard. "Not everything is happy here, alright?" his muzzle dripped with blood and he had bitten his tongue when Pepper slammed her head into him. He wouldn't lie, she was crafty.

Pepper slumped, she hadn't fought like this since she was a kit and ThunderClan drove out her friends. She forgot how hard it was to fight like that. Everything ached, she had definitely lost a few whiskers and gained plenty of soon to be scars. "You... you shouldn't be here... Blacktwig, really." she managed between harsh breaths. She looked at the now broken part of the barn wall, a few brittle boards now had large gaps or cracks in them. Swiping her tongue over her jaw, she hissed in pain. There was a cut on her lip where his claw had caught and it stung more than anything.

Bat lashed his tail and slowed his breathing, deeper, more rhythmic breaths left him now. With a sigh, he limped towards the stock that lined the opposite wall's boards. He grabbed a large dock leaf and then limped to Pepper.

Pepper blinked and looked at the leaf as he dropped it on the floor. She sighed and gave a weak chuckle. They were beyond saving with their stupidity. She tore it roughly in half and began chewing it into a poultice. They had a long way to go.

Blacktwig's gaze bore into Bat's own. "It isn't about me," he snarled, the younger feline caught up in the heat of the moment. He felt the hay stained with pasty blood beneath his paws, but it wasn't his own. Perhaps his anxiety should have been allayed, but it wasn't. "This is about you, and you not fighting!" Blacktwig's voice raised, and it was as resounding as a crash of thunder. "Bat, Pepper, if your problems are so many, then why are you fighting yourselves instead of the enemy?" asked Blacktwig, eyes with an uncanny resemblance to Sheepnose's ablaze. They were narrowed into furious slants. "I'm the only one of your family that's come to actually help," he said, looking now principally at Pepper, "and it has all gone to waste, apparently. I wanted you to be at peace!" Blacktwig nearly roared, nearing the two contending cats. They were a blaze of black and white, and it nauseated Blacktwig to see such mature felidae warmongering avoidably. He sighed quietly, hoping that they'd simply halt their actions. It yielded so much needless peril. He hung his head, trying not to look at the bleeding wounds they had caused each other.

Pepper winced as he directed his words at her, her shoulders sagged. The lack of family was a horrendous sore spot on her heart that always rubbed her the wrong way but, Bat had it worse, none of his family was alive, not even their adoptive kit survived for long. Without a response, she simply began placing the poultice on Bat's foreleg where he had been bitten. Her eyes trained on the spot rather than anywhere else even though she could do this simple task with her eyes closed.

Bat growled bitterly. "Her family, Blacktwig. Also, it isn't that easy,they could have killed Pepper on the spot and I wouldn't have been able to do anything to stop them. Even if we won, they'd round up more corrupt cats just to finish the job. We never know who our enemies are, anyone could turn on us at any moment." his tail drooped. He felt weak, not even able to fight off those idiots. Bat wondered, just how much had Blacktwig heard of their conversation, how long had he been there before saying something? Did he know why Bat was there in the first place? He wasn't sure but, he was broken out of his pondering by the sting of dock on his leg.

Blacktwig relaxed. "Exactly," he said, ears twitching. His tail lay with its frayed tip off to the side, and his paws scrunched up the hay until it resembled the shape of the hilt of a sword. Inside, his paranoia grew. Could they have killed Pepper? "Wait," he meowed, tone shaking. "This is why we can't quarrel amongst ourselves. We don't know where the enemy is." Blacktwig looked around briefly, hoping to show to the two older felines that he wasn't scared. But no—he was aghast at the occurrences that had been transpiring lately. "I don't want them to hurt you, you see. But it isn't as if any cat such as I can stop them. That's the truth. They seem impossible to defeat at the moment..." he paused. "You said that they have new recruits. Do they join by choice?" Blacktwig's mind produced a fragment of an idea. If we can't persuade them, we kill them. We need a group of cats ourselves, brave and strong. We kill their reinforcements behind the scenes, see if they have any scent on them. And then we kill the main villains. He pondered this for a moment, then he found a fault. What if the recruits disguised their foreign scent? He felt useless then, trying to come up with a new concept.

"If they want you, they'll get you. Stealing, harming, tricking, threatening. Whatever it takes. They forced me with the threat of Pepper's death. Cats join by choice if they're stupid enough. The leader died, her little mate took over." 'I want to slip them all a little deadly nightshade. No, water hemlock would be worse.' he thought darkly. Bat lashed his tail. He winced as Pepper treated a few more scratches, a paw on his back signaling for him to lay down so she could reach.

"It's frustrating, all of this is going on and I can't do a thing about it." Pepper murmured. She covered a few of the claw marks with webs, to have more treatment kater. She wasn't going to let this scuffle leave scars all over her mate's pelt. When she was done she backed away to observe her stock, they would still have enough catmint for WindClan when Beetlepaw returned.

"One day they'll be defeated," vowed Blacktwig. "And they'll feel bad when their sorry pelts get scarred." His eyes narrowed, then he looked around. "But that's all we can hope for. They won't be beaten down easily, it seems..." he whimpered, ears drooping to either side.

"We don't have the cats to take them down, besides, they aren't leaving. Where would they go?" She meowed in response, looking at Blacktwig.

Bat stood and scented the air for mice before padding further into the barn.

"Bat, you'll open your wounds again!"
"Jaguar's gone, who's going to hunt for you now?"

Pepper sighed, her death was so current, not even a day had passed. Bat had just discovered her. The thought of her friend's death and the thought of surviving off traveling herbs any long made her stomach twist and she reverted back to kneading the ground.

Bat's blood alerted most of the mice but, he trapped a few and carried three of the now dead mice back to Pepper.

Blacktwig stared at them like they were talking about Thunderstar descending back to earth. He gave a frightened gulp, afraid if he should say this, but he had to. His curiosity gnawed at him. "Who—who's Jaguar?" he asked shakily. It sounded like she was... dead. He didn't want Pepper and Bat to feel melancholy, but he needed to. His pelt prickled, bracing for the worst. She's dead, don't you know?! his conscience screamed. There's no use, mousefodder! Get out, now! Blacktwig almost whimpered at this. It was himself yelling at him, not anyone else.

"A friend of ours, she stayed here to help Pepper. I found her on the thunderpath dead earlier today." Bat said plainly. He was struggling with keeping these two personalities.

"Midnight. How did she take it?"

"She found Jaguar, and suprisingly, cried. It was strange, she attacked her own mother during the ambush and she was crying on that path somehow. I left her with the body." He saved his choice words that he thought about Midnight to himself. He'd use them slowly.

"Were they captured by the evil cats you mentioned?" asked Blacktwig. Perhaps they were, but he supposed that it'd be best if he wasn't so nosy. He'd stop—save for a few more questions, if needed. His mind paddled in a swamp of catechizes. He couldn't help it. He had been like this ever since his kithood. Mistywater should have stopped him when she had the chance to, he thought to himself balefully.

"Midnight betrayed us and lead them here. Jaguar remained here." He mewed. Bat tduly hated that cat. "She isn't the kit I brought here. It makes me sick," his hated mainly came from Midnight having a mother and harming net with no remorse. His mother died trying to feed him.

"She lead the enemy to you?" Blacktwig bit his lip. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry—I should stop asking questions." He hid his face, gaze downcast. A gloomy fog overcame him, and he looked up after the apology. He didn't want to be like this, but so many things happened while he was gone; and he regretted it.

"Yep, stormed right in, following the word of ThunderClan apprentices. It's the price of living here. Though, usually they come because they're starving to death. I've never heard of anyone coming to the barn to steal a cat. ThunderClan has a habit of coming here." he said flatly before giving the younger tom a quizzical look. "You're apologizing for asking questions.... Why?"