demons of thine past, begone from thy future [c]

The idea had come to her not too long ago. Had arrived in the misfits of sleep, delivered on a shocking realization that she had been unable to truly piece together until the very moment she now stood in. Tumultuous nightmares that had led her to be unable to rest had plagued her ever since moving from nursery to apprentice den, and their arrival had been difficult for her to truly comprehend until now.

Memories of kithood should have been jubilant. They should have been what she yearned to return to at the end of a harsh training day, wanting to once more go to the love of her mother. But whenever she returned to the thoughts of Elmbreeze, she was met with nothing but sorrow. A grief that had quickly turned sour, as sorrow had turned to anger. She needed to distance herself from those memories, and perhaps this would be the only way forward for her. It wasn't as if her name meant anything more than what other people called her, and if she had a choice in the matter as to what she'd be called for the rest of her life, she would rather it be something that she found to be more fitting.

So she had swallowed her fear of making the request. It would have been easy enough for anybody who had otherwise met her late mother to feel wronged by her request, as if she had been ungrateful for what had been bestowed upon her as an heirloom. Yet, she felt no ties as she approached Tigerstar's den, sitting straight up and curling her tail around her paws as she called out in request. "Tigerstar? I... I wish to speak to you about my name." It would have been easy enough to presume she was referencing her warrior name, but this wasn't the title that Pipitpaw cared about at the moment. That would come in due time, when Galestorm found her to be ready.

Tigerstar perked up from his resting as soon as he heard his name. The lanky tom shifted until his green eyes fell upon the apprentice at the entrance of his den. Pipitpaw. She wanted to speak about her name? As far as he was aware it wasn't time for her warrior ceremony yet.. maybe she was just wanting to be prepared for it? Well he knew he would get the answer to his thoughts in just a second.

"Of course, come in." The tom shifted slightly and sat up fully, allowing room for the apprentice. "So what is it about your name?" The leader asked, opening up the conversation for the apprentice so she could get her anxities out of the way.

As soon as she crossed the threshold into the leader's den, the molly couldn't help the ball of anxiety that immediately seemed to plunge itself right up from her stomach and into her throat. Stars, she had no issue coming right to him to approach... so why did she suddenly feel so overwhelmed as soon as she entered? Taking a deep breath through her nose, the apprentice swished her tail to physically sweep away the anxiety that rippled throughout her. Sitting close towards the entrance, her white tail curled directly around her paws.

"Tigerstar, I... do not think the name Pipitpaw truly fits me." There was no way else she could really begin to talk about this rather than state was directly on her mind. "I know that it was a name given to me by my mother, but... I don't think I even look or talk like a Pipit. Truth be told I... I don't even know what a Pipit is, and it's... Since mother passed, I've had a very hard time hearing cats call me Pipitpaw." Her gaze fell to her paws as she felt her chest tightening, and her claws quietly grasped at the earth below as she fought for some semblance of grounding. "...Could... could I have my name changed..? To like... Snowpaw? Because my fur is white as snow?"

Tigerstar sat and listened to what Pipitpaw was saying, making sure to stay quiet so the apprentice could get everything she was feeling out, though he was a bit surprised at the request for a name change. Especially one that was very uncommon. "Hmm.." The leader started. "This is a very serious request, but a reasonable one." He wasn't sure how the clan was going to adapt to the name change, but if it made a member of his clan more comfortable more confident then he would follow through.

"Tell you what. I will give you two choices, and I will let you pick whichever one you are more comfortable with. We can move forward with your request this evening, and have a name change ceremony, or we can wait until your warrior ceremony and do a full name change then." He offered, trying to recall the words for a name change ceremony incase she decided on the first. "I am good with either of the options, I will follow your lead."

It felt as if every fiber of her being were hanging on her leader's words. Every moment he spent contemplating his request had her chest tightening, and she couldn't suppress the feeling of panic that was once more clawing its way up the back of her throat. The amount of courage she had mustered to even come to Tigerstar to make this request... what if he said no? No, he couldn't say no. Well, he could, but--Pipitpaw didn't want to think about a future in which that would be the case.

Having frozen still, the breath she didn't even realize she was holding finally escaped her smaller figure as he gave her an answer. It was a reasonable one. Did he know, then, why she truly wanted to change her name? The intrusive thought came and went, but it was blinked away as he gave her another choice of her own. Glancing at her paws, her head tilted either way as she mulled over either option. Part of her felt extremely elated and wished to have her name changed now, but on the other paw... It would simply make more sense for her to have her name changed in one singular swoop. After all, the Clan would be expecting for her to go by a new name at that point, anyways. What did her heart tell her to do? Decisions, decisions...

"Thank you for letting me choose, Tigerstar, sir. I... I would think it would be best if it gets changed at my warrior ceremony so that I feel I have fully earned my new name." It gave her motivation. She would train even harder, now, to shed the name of Pipitpaw and become whatever it was that Tigerstar and Starclan deemed she would better be known as.

The striped tom waited patiently for Pipitpaw's response, making sure she didn't feel pressured into a change or that she had to give an answer right away. He gave her time to process his offer, and when she finally spoke, he listened. He was surprised by her restraint in wanting to wait until her warrior ceremony, showing the character she was slowly developing as she grew.

Tigerstar gave a firm nod before following up with, "Alright then, we will wait until the ceremony." Confirming her choice. He shifted for a moment, getting comfortable once again. "Is there anything else you wish to discuss?" He asked, not wanting her to feel rushed to leave, just because the main concern was done.