If I were smart, I'd be letting this go already. It's just a cat site. It's not the end of the world if I can't roleplay anymore. But someone pointed out that it isn't just a silly kitty roleplay site to me.

I was never given the chance to explain myself or my situation. I was upset after a very stressful night, working in a hospital, one of my patients had a heart attack and things went south from the very beginning. I was rude. I was impatient. I'll admit that, and I'm sorry for losing my temper, but I cannot be sorry for demanding the apology I feel I'm owed. I was judged unfairly by people who didn't know me. Before my 24 ban was even over, with no discussion or appeal on behalf of the staff, or chance to explain myself, I was permanently banned both on discord and forumotion - with no announcement or real explanation. I was talked down to. Called a pedophile. What a disgusting accusation to so carelessly throw at someone, and so absolutely disrespectful to people who have experienced SA.

So, if staff would be so kind as to give me the chance to speak my truth, here it is:

WCC was a safe haven for me as I grew up in an extremely toxic environment. My dad was verbally and physically abusive. My mother was a schizophrenic alcoholic who was also dealing with addiction to prescription pain killers. We were in constant poverty, living a diet of whatever we could buy at the dollar tree. The friends I made at this place and in this time are irreplaceable to me. They truly saved my life, getting me through the absolute lowest points of my depression. Someone especially above the rest, who got me through the thick and thin and my absolute worst days, is the same man who is also my fiancée.

We met when he was 13 and I was 17, and started having a serious romantic relationship when he was 16 and I was 20. Now, I'm not here to argue Romeo and Juliet laws. That's not the point. The point is that I in no way groomed him. We were friends on a cat forum.

The day we met, I was visiting other family with my uncle and grandparents. We decided to meet in person. I met his parents and younger siblings for the first time then. We spent a few hours browsing shops and holding hands before returning back to our normal lives. What I have hardly ever mentioned in this story is in that same night, I was sexually assaulted by my own grandfather. Me, an underage 17 year old girl.

Really, that shouldn't matter... but to think that there are people out there that called me friend at one point, or at least people I thought I was cordial with, would assume that I was capable of such horrible acts is just... absolutely horrifying to me in a way I never thought possible. I truly came to this site with the best of intentions. I put a lot of effort into my cat, Stormsong, and was having fun roleplaying warriors again. I pushed a lot of my friends to rejoin, because seeing a boost in activity and hanging with your friends is fun. And really, some stupid, really stupid part of me thought that I could rekindle some old friendships. I hardly remember what happened in the great war of 2019 or whatever, but I believed that maybe some hatchets could be buried. For the sake of kitty roleplay. God, I was so wrong.

I would still love an apology at this point, but at the same time - I realized what I needed the most was closure. It's really hard to be permabanned off a childhood sanctuary of yours with such an unfair label. I love my life. I love Sleepy. I love his family, who were kind enough to get to know me and allowed me to live with them for three or four years.

I understand it's hard to move on and live with pain, but that doesn't mean it's okay to inflict that pain on others. I make stupid jokes that make myself look bad because it's easier to beat someone to the typical punchline of calling me a cradle-robber when they inevitably judge me before they even know me or my relationship. I'm not ashamed of my fiancée, but I am scared of cruel people. I've been crying. I've been having nightmares and panic attacks. So if you wanted to punish me and see me suffer, congratulations. You've done a fantastic job, truly.

I don't expect to be unbanned or apologized to at this point (though my fiancée still very much does), but I feel like it was never fair that I was able to truly stand up for myself or get a word in with staff. There are some serious problems in this site with the way that it's run, but since I'm no longer a member, that's not really my problem.

So, I'll just say that I'm sorry things had to end this way. Thanks for the few months of fun I've had lately, and I wish you all the best.
Even those who treated me less than dirt. But also to you, if I'm a pedophilic groomer, I'm doing a terrible job because I should have gotten a newer model years ago.

Peace,
Ebs