Is This Who You Are Now (Closed)

It had been just a day after the Dark Forest took over the clans and Morningstar killed Bloodstar and Smokefeather (even though technically Beechfang killed her, Ashstorm only blamed Morningstar).  She had always been an understanding and trusting cat, even to a fault, such as what happened when Dawnhawk came with the Asylum and everyone else was mad at him.  No more.  Well, if Morningstar wanted to believe that all of his family gave up on him, his wish was coming true.

She made her way to the leader's den, to see the cat whom she would never call a leader.  Her expression was completely neutral.  She had not slept since the gathering, but she was not tired.  She stayed walking straight ahead until she reached the den.  "Morningstar," She called in, letting him know she was there before she entered.  Her voice was the same as her expression, completely neutral.  She entered the den without waiting for a response.

The grey she-cat looked at the pale tom, for a moment not saying anything.  In truth, she was restraining herself from screaming at him and digging her claws into his throat.  "Congratulations," She said, her voice unenthusiastic, but a small smirk showed up on her face.  "You have gotten exactly what you wanted.  Are you finally happy?"

She did not give him a long enough time to respond.  She simply shook her head.  "I'm not here to ask you why.  I know why and I'm done asking you that anyway."  She sighed.  She made sure that all the pain she felt could not be seen on her face. "Instead, I'll ask you a different question... What's next?"

Morningstar was restless. He hadn't slept nor ate in days, but supposedly that was the side effect of being dead. Still having a need for some kind of normalcy, he had been laying down, his blood soaking the nest beneath him that was still too big for him. He tossed, he turned and he shut his eyes. It was no use. His new form did not require sleep and he would not get rest. It was almost a welcome relief to hear Ashstorm call for him. Almost.

He sat up and looked at her with a blank stare. A lot of the adrenaline... if that was the right word anymore, from the days prior and during his dramatic takeover was gone. It left him with nothing more than a ghostly shell. He did narrow his eyes a bit at the question. Was he finally happy? No... the opposite even. He didn't answer regardless, merely blinked once, unimpressed, and continued to listen.

"I don't know," He fully admitted. "I don't really care." He shrugged, then continued to stare at her. His eyes eventually glazed over and he appeared to be looking through her rather than at her.

"I thought I'd care a lot more. I thought I'd feel more. I don't. Maybe this is what it's like to lose your soul. Maybe this is what it's like to lose your mind." He didn't sound sad or angry, just flat-toned and uninterested. Once his eyes finally focused on Ashstorm, he spoke once more. "You and everyone in Skyclan and all of the clans will die. I will remain. I will wander the forest until the twolegs knock it all down and claim it as their own for their own nests. I will be here even after those twolegs die, I will watch their kits grow old and die too... and I will still remain. It puts things into perspective for me. This forest doesn't matter. The clans don't matter. My goals, my ambitions, my successes and my failures are all just a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things. So what does it matter, what I do next? What will it matter when everything I have come to care about is finally gone?"

He let his words hang in the air. He stood up after a moment and moved aside as if to give the nest to Ashstorm, bloodied furs and moss and all.

"Take this from me if you want. I don't care for an oversized, stuffy den filled with bad memories. Lead the clan yourself. You may as well now that Bloodstar is dead." Now he'd wait for her reaction. She could try to do whatever she wanted and she could say what she wanted.

The answer he had was not one she expected.  Since he was not content, that almost made it worse.  There was no reason why he did it then.  Stupid evil cat.  She hated this answer more than anyone could anyone know.  There had to be more, but based on what he said she believed him, but she should probably stop believing anything from that cat again, cause, clearly that has not worked out well.

The rest of the words he said meant nothing to her.  His sorrow was none of her concern, she had enough of her own to worry about.  He moved aside, which she wondered if he was offering the blood covered nest to her, but she did not take one pawstep closer.  She was pretty stunned at his next words.  She stood there.  Her claws dug into the ground below her.  Her eyes widened a bit.  She shook her head slightly.  She had no idea what to say.  She could not imagine anyone but Bloodstar leading the clan and she knew in the state she was in now she would not be able to lead it well, but at the same time she really did not want Morningstar to lead.

She shook her head slightly and cleared her throat.  "So this was all for nothing?"  She asked.  "You came with an army of cats twice, caused our family to break apart, and murdered your own parents to, what, complain?"