We Need Some Hunting Time...

The tabby actually stopped, flinching at his sudden outburst. She supposed she should've expected it after continuously prodding the deputy, bending her ears backwards uncomfortably and taking a step back. What should she say now? He said he wanted to move, but yet he was standing in one spot, staring down at the ground. If something felt wrong before, there was something terrible off now. Mistflower suddenly felt a little ashamed of herself, and for a heartbeat she seriously considered giving up on it now and continuing to hunt, but she knew that she couldn't - not with how Thrushstripe was in her eyes.
"The moon isn't going anywhere." She muttered, "And neither is the prey." The she-cat tried to keep her words as soft and soothing as possible, taking a few cautious steps forward, Mistflower appeared quietly at his side, looking up hopefully at him. "It's okay. There's no one else around."

She just wasn't going to give up. He didn't even know how to feel about it anymore. At first he could just feel the aggravation bubbling up, but now he felt like he was giving up. She was persistent, and he thought he was too until now. He really thought that he could just keep all of his feelings hidden, but she really broke them down. It was almost impossible for him not to just blurt out everything he was feeling, but it felt so wrong. He had bottled up everything for so long that letting it go felt so strange and unlike him. For a moment, he couldn't even stand to do anything but stare at the ground, but after realizing there was no way he could get out of this, the deputy sat down and closed his eyes, trying to keep everything from pouring out at once. "I..." he began, trying to think of an easy way of putting it. "I feel helpless." There. He said it. It wasn't very loud. If anything, it was almost a whisper, but he said it. There were so many things that he wanted to say, but he tried to restrain himself. He wasn't just going to dump all of his feelings on a warrior he hadn't really talked to before, but somehow he felt like he could tell her everything. She at least cared enough to figure out what was going on with him. So, shakily, he continued. "There... There are so many things that I just can't control. As deputy and future leader, I need to do everything in my power to keep this clan safe, but that's just it. There are so many things out of my power that I can't do anything about, and it kills me on the inside. I want to be able to stop natural disasters or the weather, and I want to be able to say that we'll have plenty of kits this new-leaf so we keep our numbers up, but I can't do any of that. After Mapleface saved my life, that's all I've wanted to do. Never have I been so terrified... and when Mapleface died, I felt like I had done something wrong. I missed something. I didn't do something that could have kept her alive. If I had just checked on her sooner that day, she never would have gone to Shadowsky territory... Heck, with Snowface, even. If I had gotten there sooner, I could have kept her from running back onto the Thunderpath." He stopped for just a moment as he realized how much he was just rambling. But if felt good. He needed this, and he was thankful (and pretty embarrassed) that Mistflower would listen to him. "At this point, there is so much pressure to be perfect, especially when I'm going to be leader. Knowing I can't be perfect and keep this clan perfect kills me, especially when I know there was something I could have done to prevent half of the things that have and will happen."

She honestly wasn't sure of what to say, looking on in quiet surprise as the words left his mouth, barely louder than a tiny whisper. She wondered if she should make a move towards him, or something, to try and calm him from his own words that left him shaking, but all she could really do was stay quiet and listen. The more went on, the more she realized she couldn't empathise with him. She hadn't known Mapleface, nor been rescued from near death, and certainly hadn't experienced the death of a sibling. She'd never known her true parents, but that was nowhere near the same thing. She hadn't known Snowface either, but had heard a bit about about the poor ThunderClan warrior's passing. How on earth could he blame himself for the death of another clan cat?
After he finished talking, Mistflower stayed quiet, trying to find the right words to say. "Your not perfect, Thrushstripe, and you can't make yourself perfect - or ShadowClan, either." She meowed, saying the words just loud enough for him to hear them. "There will always be a bitter frost to leaf-bare, or a bout of coughs, or fleas in the elder's pelts." The tabby gently nuzzled him comfortingly against his chest, not particularly thinking about what she was doing, but it didn't matter to her. "The only time in our lives we'll know perfection is when we've gone and joined StarClan. They're the only ones who can control the uncontrollable and can understand so much more than us." Mistflower took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "You can't blame yourselves for their deaths. I bet you two of my kills that Mapleface is in pain seeing you like this."

In complete honesty, he was kind of surprised to hear the young warrior speak so wisely, but it just ended up making him think. Mistflower was right. Mapleface probably hated seeing him the way he is, worrying over everything, breaking down over everything that's happened in the past, but he couldn't help it. It was so hard to let go, especially when he could have done something to prevent everything that occurred. And with all of this going in his brain, he barely even noticed how close Mistflower had gotten to him physically and how much she had just completely broken down every wall he had put up mentally. She came in like a wrreeeecckiing baaaaaaaallllll! /shotdown At the moment, he could barely look at her from how much he knew she was right. Closing his eyes and pulling himself away from her, he turned his head and stared deep into the Shadowclan territory. "I'm sure you're right," he let out a deep sigh, trying to calm himself back down and contain his emotions once more. "It's just so hard not to think about what I could have done to keep this clan safe. I don't want to lose anyone else..."