Sometimes We're Barely Floating [Leopardstar]

((OOC: Follows this topic.))

The sun was setting, leaving the forest around them in shadow as cicadas began their obnoxious nightsong. Between the two Skyclan cats however, lay an uncomfortable silence as they walked toward the border of highpine. For once, Wolfstar was on the ground, she didn't trust that she wouldn't simply fall out of the trees if she was given one more shock tonight. And perhaps she wasn't really at 100% either... Not that any Shadowclanner would need to know that.

Shadowclan may have been the nocturnal clan, but their patrol were predictable and this was not the first time that Wolfstar had waited along this very border for them. When the patrol had been spotted, Wolfstar simply requested Leopardstar's presence, her paws staying firmly planted on Skyclan's side of the border. She had once received an escort to Shadowclan's camp to see one of her injured warriors... She had no intention of going that far into Shadowclan territory now. She would wait with her paws on firmer ground and with no mud covering her eyes, thank you very much. As they waited she gazed up at the stars beginning to appear in the sky above - or perhaps her expression was more of a glare, pointedly anywhere but Bubblebeam's direction. If she looked at her granddaughter she might break.

When the sound of approaching pawsteps could be heard the leader gave herself a small shake, forcing her gaze toward the trees, shoulders rolling in a shrug to dispel the tension that had been building within.

"Leopardstar." Wolfstar greeted the spotted tabby with a polite dip of her head when she arrived. "I find myself in your paws from our last meeting. Bubblebeam has informed me of her desire to live among your own. She has assured me that there are cats within your clan to vouch for her, and I have warned her plenty about the potential outcomes of such a change, should you accept her or not. I will leave it between the two of you." The white and tabby leader managed not to choke on the words, her expression one of carefully-crafted neutrality that betrayed nothing of the pain in her chest.

Bubblebeam couldn't deny the nervous feeling that prickled through her paws with every step. It was easy to think about leaving, easy to talk about it when in Silverbird's embrace--but facing it now, sitting at the border with her grandmother's cold voice echoing in her ears and now the leader of ShadowClan staring down at her was far more difficult. She would have to be brave. Facing down a slavering fox or running at breakneck speeds from an enormous wolf sounded almost easier than this. It would almost be easier to hear Sunfire's hysterical growls from a bloodstained maw. But... unlike in those instances, she'd premeditated this. A light glowed brightly at the end of the tunnel. If she could just get through this interaction unscathed, then paradise awaited. Well... she wouldn't oversell it. It would still be hard. Plenty of ShadowClan cats would hate her. All her former Clanmates would curse her name. Maybe Hemlockfox would never want to see her again. But she'd have Silverbird, and Hawkmist, and maybe she'd find some more friends. Maybe this time she could make herself a family--one that wouldn't destroy itself and shatter into piercing shards.

When the other leader arrived, Bubblebeam swallowed against the dryness of her throat. It felt as if her heart had been consistently speeding up ever since she stepped into Wolfstar's den, and it showed no signs of slowing anytime soon. But she couldn't give up now. After getting this far, she had to keep going. So she cleared her throat. "It's... nice to meet you, Leopardstar." She'd only ever seen the ShadowClan she-cat from afar on the Great Rock. In person, she appeared far more imposing. "Like Wolfstar said, I want to join ShadowClan. I... I want to choose my own life, instead of having one chosen for me." Her fluffy tail twitched behind her anxiously, but she tried to keep the rest of her body still. "Silverhawk promised to vouch for me, as did Hawkmist... and I believe that Pineblossom would be willing to do so as well." Speaking their names aloud just made her heart race further. The cat she loved. Her dear friend. And... Silverbird's mother, who she'd only met once, but who apparently had promised her son to assist in getting her admitted to their Clan. That was something she would need to offer profuse thanks for, if all went well. But now all that she could do was wait for Leopardstar's reply.

Leopardstar was nothing if not dutiful in giving Bubblebeam one final warning about the path she was so determined to embark on. Wolfstar privately wished that the gray warrior would heed the warning, that she would turn back, change her mind. But she knew that her wish was futile as she glanced at her granddaughter. All she could do was keep her grief about it to herself. Grief, and the bitter hurt that had claws digging into her heart. Bubblebeam had spent so much time avoiding her own clan, but had no less than three Shadowclanners who could possibly vouch for her. Surely, she thought, that fact was also not lost on Leopardstar.

"Those trees don't look suitable to climbing or hunting." The Skyclan leader agreed, almost absent-mindedly. Much like Windclan's open moors, the marsh too was far more open than Skyclan's territory. There was no easy path through the branches, instead replaced by pathways of mud and treacherous marshwater. The trees could prove dangerous, but Wolfstar was under no illusion that the marsh too had dangers that lurked within it.

This was Bubblebeam's choice, she reminded herself. The leader's gaze focused on her granddaughter for a moment, though she said nothing. If Bubblebeam did not wish to be part of Skyclan, that was her choice. Wolfstar would simply have to get used to it, in time. Perhaps she should have seen this coming a long time ago.

To Leopardstar, she simply inclined her head in acknowledgement of the Shadowclanner's words. "As do I." It was on the tip of her tongue to tell the other leader to take care of her granddaughter, but she refrained. There was no need to make this more complicated than it needed to be. No need to draw it out longer than it already had been.

Bubblebeam stood tall underneath the sharp, penetrating gazes of both Leopardstar and Wolfstar. She would not deny that it would be difficult. She knew that it would be hard emotionally, that many wouldn't accept her--but she'd come to terms with that. She knew that she would have to relearn everything. But given that she had never been all that great at hunting or fighting, learning different techniques didn't sound like the worst thing in the world. And... the most important thing was that she wouldn't face it alone. It would be difficult, but with cats that supported her, it would be worth it. Hemlockfox and Sorrelmist and Thymelight, her siblings... she missed them even now. But SkyClan was the place of too much death and tragedy. She felt stranded, almost ghostlike in her duties, and finally she'd had enough. She had to take this step forward without looking back. She had to face difficulties no matter what, so at least this time she would choose the hardships that she got to face. "I understand," she said, the solemn words dropping heavy from her mouth. Because she did. She understood exactly what she was doing. Despite the nights lying awake agonizing over her decisions, despite the fear that consumed her even now, she knew that this was the right choice. It was hard, and it hurt, but it was her choice to make. "I'm ready, Leopardstar. I'll do what it takes."

The border... the line, metaphorical and literal, drawn between her past and her future. Drawn between the Clan of her birth, and the Clan that she would accept as her home. Drawn between her blood family and the cats who managed to be there for her in the worst period of her life. The border that--though neither leader had to know of its specifics--she had crossed several times before, though never with the finality that she would do so now. Bubblebeam looked carefully at it. Soon she would be on the other side. Never again would she climb these trees, or look at the Moonlit Creek, or curl up in the same camp where she'd always slept. Never again would she hunt for herbs with Thymelight, or try to climb the Tallbranch with her sisters, or walk the same grounds where she'd been attacked by ThunderClan warriors. Never again would she call that place home.

She took in a deep breath and placed one soft gray paw over the line. Then another, until all four feet stood on marshy soil. The musky scent nearly overwhelmed her, but she supposed that she would get used to it. It felt... strange. She'd thought about doing this for so long that the actual moment felt as if it had been far too easy. It was only the beginning, she knew, and yet her heart felt strangely light as she began to follow after Leopardstar. Before she left for good, though, she glanced back. One look back... one final look at her home. Pale green eyes traced over the ground she would never touch again. Then, her gaze locked onto Wolfstar's. Her grandmother. The she-cat who had practically been more like a mother to her, helping to raise her in the absence of Juniperheart. Who had always looked out for her. It was impossibly selfish to want to be her grandmother's first priority at any given moment; all of SkyClan were Wolfstar's purview. She had no time to spare. It was not her fault that Bubblebeam languished alone. And yet, it was that responsibility she left behind, that love and that bond, and this painful severing that she knew could never be forgiven. Wolfstar would hate her forever. Yet the former SkyClan warrior managed a small smile. "Bye, Gramma." A familiar term that she would never speak again. She would only ever see the leader from afar, at Gatherings... or if they met at the border as strangers. Hopefully never enemies, though she could never promise that. But... it was done. She had taken the irrevocable step. And with that bitter knowledge, Bubblebeam turned around to walk the difficult path towards her new home.