The future's in your paws. Shape it well.Roleplay in a cat Clan of warriors. Based off the Warriors series by Erin Hunter. Takes place in an AU before the cats in the books existed.
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Subject: Juniperpaw's Moonstone Journey Sun 30 Jun 2024 - 1:27
nightpaw
Nightpaw huffed quietly as he rose from his nest. The once soft moss was now little more than shreds; he hadn't bothered to fix it up since he'd moved into the den. It still held the faintest trace of Heatherberry's scent, and he couldn't bring himself to get rid of it. It'd be like getting rid of her, once and for all, though he continued to grasp desperately onto the hope that she was alive and well somewhere, and trying her best to find her way back to them. Back to him.
He stifled a yawn. Sleep had been elusive, lately. Or maybe not elusive so much as fitful. When he did finally calm his mind enough to drift off to sleep, his 'rest' was usually plagued by visions of StarClan. It seemed like a revolving door of former medicine cats stalked through his dreams. They'd show him one herb one night, a different one the next.
Last night, he'd learned burnet. Burnet was a leafy herb that seemed to thrive in the summer. It was soft and verdant, and Littlefrost, the tom who had visited him last night, had described it as an enemy of newleaf. It loved sun, and hated anywhere damp. As Nightpaw padded over to the dwindling herb stores, his eyes narrowed into slits, and he scoured the herb stores he'd so painstakingly color-coded. Finally, his eyes lit up. Burnet! It was one of the traveling herbs that Heatherberry had given him; he recognized the scent.
After he gathered a few more traveling herbs, he padded purposefully toward the apprentices' den. Today, he'd be escorting Juniperpaw to the Moonstone. He knew little about the deputy's daughter. They'd met once, ages ago, when she was still a kit. She'd been making her dad a flower crown - he remembered that fondly. She was perhaps not the worst cat to share this journey with, as much as he hated small talk and the long, awkward walk with cats he barely knew. No, he was sure he and Juniperpaw would get on just fine, as long as she hadn't totally changed after becoming an apprentice. Maybe they could properly get to know each other... or maybe they'd share the trip in silence. Either way, Nightpaw decided he was okay.
He ducked into the den and padded over to Juniperpaw's nest. The she-cat still slept in the same spot; he'd shared this den with her, not too long ago. Nightpaw prodded her shoulder gently with one paw, then sat the bundle of herbs down neatly by his feet. "Juniperpaw? Wake up, it's time to leave." The small tom murmured, not wanting to scare her or disturb anyone else in the den.
I wish I could go back in time; not to change anything, but to feel a few things twice.
Juniperpaw was startled awake by the gentle prodding of a paw. The gentlest touch was enough to wake her nowadays. The black apprentice blinked up at the cat that had awaken her, hoping he wouldn't notice the way cold sweat had been pooling at her paws or the way the moss in her nest had been clawed up and shredded. She was still shaking from the nightmare, could still feel her heart drumming in her chest and the desperation to run coursing through her entire body. She took a moment to suck in the air and collect herself before nodding in acknowledgement.
She lapped up the herbs given to her in silence, not a single protest leaving her as the bitter taste washed over he tongue. She was used to it after messing around with so many different plants and leaves. Bitter didn't scare her. She finished quickly, then slipped out of the den behind Nightpaw. This was her moonstone journey, then. It scared her a bit. Not going on the journey of course, but the idea that she was... growing up. Leaving herself behind. Juniperpaw swallowed thickly and nodded to show she was ready to get going.
Nightpaw hid his frown as he noticed the state of Juniperpaw's nest. The moss was torn up, her nest in a state of disarray that only came from nightmares. He noticed her eyes seemed to flash with a panic he knew all too well as she was thrown into the waking world. Though she collected herself quickly, to him, that could mean that she was used to pretending nothing was wrong. Nightpaw typically prided himself on his observance. Now it only left him with a choice to make. He could ask what was wrong - prying, and risking making her upset - or he could play pretend that everything was okay, and risk letting her slip through the cracks.
How had Heatherberry treated him on his Moonstone journey? She'd been so tactful, at a time he was at such a crossroads. It hadn't even been that long ago, he realized. As he waited for Juniperpaw to lap up the herbs, he tapped his tail against the ground gently in thought. Heatherberry had tiptoed around her question, hadn't she? She'd left the choice to open up in his paws. All he could do was offer Juniperpaw the same.
Nightpaw nodded for her to follow him, then ducked out of the thorn tunnel that protected camp from the outside world. It was early morning, and the light that filtered in through the trees was gentle and grey. He let out a long, soft sigh, then felt his shoulders relax as the sweet birdsong and the rich scent of pines reached him. Often, everything around him felt like a threat, but he was beginning to find himself familiar with the territory the more he walked it. He knew more and more about what grew where, and it comforted him to know he could never be lost. Was he finding his footing so soon?
His soft green gaze found Juniperpaw. She was someone who had perhaps not found her footing yet - if that was what was wrong. It struck him, how little he knew about his Clanmates. "So, Juniperpaw," Nightpaw began, hoping he could find the words as he spoke. Be tactful. He didn't realize he'd signed up for emotional healing along with the physical. "How's apprenticeship been treating you? I'm sure it's exciting, going for your Moonstone already." Or was it? He hadn't been excited. Not one bit. Did she feel the same?
I wish I could go back in time; not to change anything, but to feel a few things twice.
Juniperpaw could feel Nightpaw's gaze on her. What was the tom thinking? Did it have something to do with her? She hoped it didn't; her ears flattened at the thought, and her tail twitched nervously. As if on instinct, her claws slid out, glimmering in the dim moonlight. She felt tense all over... she really didn't like it when another cat was focusing on her. No-- she really didn't like it when a stranger did it. She didn't mind it when Sablestrike or Swiftheart or Quillsplash or Willowpaw or Hollowgrove did it... and she guessed she was okay with Pineblossom or Fernpaw. Nightpaw, though. She barely knew him. She had spoken to him before. She didn't recall when, just that she had. Knowing that didn't soothe her nerves like she thought it would.
She gave a small start when Nightpaw spoke to her. A question? She didn't do good with questions... what if she got it wrong? What if she misunderstood it? A shiver of nervousness ran down her spine as she forced a smile onto her face. She knew, even without seeing her reflection, that it was a poor attempt. She just looked like a fool.
"It's- it's alright, I guess. Just the same as everyone else... other than getting kidnapped by Twolegs once, of course," She laughed nervously, wincing internally at her poor attempt at making a joke. She just wasn't cut out for conversations... her tail twitched nervously again as she thought about her next answer. She couldn't tell him how she actually felt-- this felt like a rule more than anything now-- so she'd just have to something up. "Uh- yeah! Very exciting... can't wait to meet StarClan!"
Nightpaw could sense Juniperpaw's discomfort. He hadn't learned nothing in all his moons of sitting on the sidelines in quiet observance. No, he noticed the way her claws tore at the ground, the way her ears pinned back and her tail lashed from side to side. He'd messed up, hadn't he? He knew he should've kept his mouth shut. Of course she wouldn't want to open up to a cat she barely knew. Even if he felt, deep down, that they were similar, she clearly didn't share the sentiment.
The smile Juniperpaw plastered across her features was barely convincing, but he didn't comment on it. Something was clearly wrong. Getting to the bottom of it would prove difficult, he realized. Had Heatherberry had this much trouble pulling the truth from him? He supposed she'd been much better at this. Either from seasons of practice, or a simple social prowess he would never share.
Nightpaw hummed in amusement, a low chuckle leaving him in concession with her attempt at joking. "I can't imagine what that was like. I've never even seen a Twoleg, much less been kidnapped by one." There was a warmth and mirth in his voice that he hoped would ease her fears of him - but he just wasn't good at this. He never would be. His mind whirled as he tried to think of a way to ease the tension that plagued Juniperpaw, a way to draw her out of her shell; or at least make the rest of the journey to the Moonstone a lot less awkward.
Maybe if he shared something, first. Maybe that would help. He... hoped, anyway. If not, he supposed she could just ignore him, but he was really just worried about his Clanmate. "Y'know... before Heatherberry called me as her apprentice, I was supposed to be a warrior - just like you." Nightpaw flicked an ear back in silent criticism of himself. Of course she'd know that. They'd been denmates. "What I mean is, ah - it wasn't something I wanted. I was scared and irritated and resentful. Mostly because I thought our ancestors were mousebrains for - for thinking I could ever be a warrior."
Then Nightpaw paused. "I thought I wasn't good enough." His gaze searched her, not in harsh appraisal, but gentle curiosity. "Do you... do you ever feel like that?"
I wish I could go back in time; not to change anything, but to feel a few things twice.
She hadn't expected Nightpaw to open up, and her gaze lingered on him warily. Was he expecting this to make her more comfortable? Her tail twitched nervously as he went on, but gradually her gaze softened. She remembered when she met him when she was younger; he had been skittish and timid then, and though he hadn't changed much, she hadn't realised it was a result of his self-doubt.
And there it was. She supposed she shouldn't feel upset that he had tried to broach the subject. Her behavior these past few moons had been... well. Besides, he seemed like he actually wanted to be of help... though she didn't see how he could be. "No... not really." That was true; she never really worried about whether she'd make a good warrior. She supposed she wasn't as dedicated as everyone else; while they were worrying over whether they would be enough for their Clan, she was busy caring about whether she wanted to serve her Clan.
"You're lucky. Being in charge of herbs and flowers and not having to care about fighting or hunting sounds... amazing," She murmured, eyes fixed on the sky above. Oh, how selfish and envious she could be. Her own words settled uncomfortably at the bottom of her heart like some solid formation that was dragging her down. What a mean, ungrateful, disgusting creature. Nightpaw had been chosen by StarClan; she hadn't been. Wasn't that enough of an answer about what they wanted of her? They wanted her to become a warrior, plain and simple. And every step she took, every word she uttered, it was all just letting them down. "I wish I wouldn't be made a warrior at all." I wish I had stayed a kit forever.
Nightpaw nodded, shifting his gaze to look off at the trees in the distance. He didn't want to make her nervous by staring at her. He listened intently as she finally spoke, her voice barely more than a whisper. He strained to hear her. As he registered her words, Nightpaw wasn't all too surprised or even taken aback. He felt a wave of sympathy. Maybe she was not so critical of herself on a path she didn't want to walk, but he'd had very similar feelings. His eyes glimmered with understanding as she spoke.
They were approaching Mothermouth, now; he didn't have long to reply. Still, he pulled himself together before he spoke again. He didn't want to say the wrong thing or scare her off. Hesitantly, Nightpaw opened his mouth to speak again. He felt... bad, suddenly. Like he'd been selfish when he accepted his new role. Maybe Juniperpaw needed it more than he did; after all, as pitiful of a warrior as he would've been, he still could've sucked it up and managed. "I... don't blame you for feeling that way." He wanted to say that it was amazing - the herbs, the healing, the dreaming. He was so much more confident in himself now, even if that wasn't saying much. But that would just be rubbing it in her face.
He glanced up at the sky as though he could see StarClan through the clouds, suddenly feeling exasperated. The sun was beginning to set - maybe they would catch wind of his glare. "It's a bunch of foxdung, isn't it? Some old, dead cats decide that everyone has to follow the same path, unless they're part of some special chosen few. Why do we all have to be warriors? Why is that ingrained in us from such a young age?" Nightpaw sighed. His shoulders slumped in defeat; he felt for her. He really did. "I'm sorry, Juniperpaw." Nightpaw mumbled. Unlike Heatherberry, she was voicing her concerns to him fruitlessly. Heatherberry had ended up saving him from his fate with a conveniently-timed prophecy. Juniperpaw, on the other paw... well, he wasn't even a full medicine cat yet. He couldn't save her from her destiny if he tried.
The pair reached the cavern, and Nightpaw turned to look at Juniperpaw, his green gaze filled with regret. He wished he had more time to talk to her. Maybe they could figure it out. But she had to go - the sun had set now, and it was time for her dream. He padded ahead, glancing back at the molly. "This cavern is narrow, but if you focus hard enough, you can feel the paw prints of the cats that have walked here before us. It's impossible to lose your way." The small tom explained, his paws reaching those divots as he said it aloud. "If you get scared, though, just call out. I'm right ahead of you." With that, he padded forward into the tunnel, his whiskers brushing the sides of the cavern as he walked.
Subject: Re: Juniperpaw's Moonstone Journey Sat 3 Aug 2024 - 23:27
I wish I could go back in time; not to change anything, but to feel a few things twice.
Juniperpaw listened to Nightpaw go on in silence. He was right, of course, that it was all mousedung and nonsensical. But it had worked, hadn't it? Kept the Clans alive for StarClan knows how many generations, thriving off of the rules set down by cats long forgotten. It was cats like her... who ruined it all... cats like her and Nightpaw... tired green eys flickered to the talking tom. He was looking at the stars. Did he expect to find answers in the vast sky? And why would the stars, in all their brilliance, look down at the darkness below? How would such a huge mass be able to see them, small grains of sand in the forest among thousands of others like them. The world felt too big, and her, too small. She took in a small, shivering breath. "Do not apologise. Being here is... is more than the stars will do," She replied just as softly, the words little more than puffs of breath dissapating in the chilly night air.
Juniperpaw stepped forward, feeling her paws fall into the small dents in the hard ground just as Nightpaw had described. Her paws felt so small in them... as if she would never fill out the pawsteps of the cats before her. Shaking her head slightly as if to clear her thoughts, the apprentice pushed forward wordlessly, slipping through the tunnel with Nightpaw just ahead. Her pace slowed as she began to see the silver outline of the medicine cat apprentice, and she stopped entirely when they enterred the cavern. Silver, pure light spilled out of the gap at the top, sending the Moonstone into a dazzling display. Her own fur, usually black as the night, now looked as if it were lit by stars. StarClan... what a beauty it was.
The apprentice padded forward, as if in a trance, and crouched before the giant rock. Her paws were trembling as she pressed her forehead to it, feeling her skin tingle from the shocking coolness of the structure. She closed her eyes, feeling warm, comforting sleep drag her body down into a deep sleep. Her body slumped onto the rock as sleep took her away, and she appeared almost lifeless save for the small rise of her chest from her breaths.
Another Moonstone… to say Webshadow was surprised was an understatement. He had spent seasons of undisturbed peace at Froststar’s side, but ShadowClan needed him now. There was a mild chagrin in him at having his rest disturbed, but greater than that, Webshadow was pleased that the stars remembered him; pleased that he could still be an asset to the Clan, even from the grave.
Webshadow waited in a starry reflection of ShadowClan’s marsh, situated on a dry patch of ground that stood alone in the center of the glittering mud. It wasn’t long before a smaller shape started to take form in front of him; only moments after that, the apprentice he’d been called to talk to was fully corporeal. When she gathered her bearings and settled from the shock of his presence, Webshadow dipped his head to her. ”Hello, Juniperpaw.” His voice was a low, even rumble. He studied her for a moment before his eyes softened and he tilted his head to the side. ”I hear you’re uncertain about becoming a warrior.” Webshadow scuffed the ground with a paw, and his eyes slid away from Juniperpaw. ”We can discuss that, if you’d like. Or anything else that’s on your mind.”
I wish I could go back in time; not to change anything, but to feel a few things twice.
StarClan was beautiful. She stood in the marsh, so alike ShadowClan territory that she wondered if the entire moonstone journey had just been a dream, but a quick look around revealed that she was, in fact, in StarClan. Stars greeted her, shining in every corner she looked. The very mud she stood on was sprinkled with stars. The air, though it smelled like marshland, held no traces of ShadowClan scent. No, it was a cooling scent that greeted her, like rocks and cold, running water. The shadows were lighter here, the darkness comforting rather than intimidating. She pressed her paws into the mud below, feeling it give way without any of the uncomfortable mud sticking to her fur. It was like home, but not really.
And a cat stood before her. Juniperpaw gave a rushed dip of her head in greeting, before her gaze quickly darted up again to look him over. A rather large tabby tom, whose features she felt she had seen many times before but couldn't place her claw on it. He had kind green eyes and a thousand stars that were scattered across his coat. He looked beautiful. Juniperpaw couldn't help but stare for a moment before she snapped back to attention as he began speaking. His voice was deep, a nice rumble. It sounded a bit like when Quillsplash spoke to her. He looked like Quillsplash, too, but not in their faces. No, their expressions were similar. She wondered what kind of experience she had to go through to have that sort of expression.
And he called her name. How did he know her name? So had StarClan been watching over her, after all? Juniperpaw felt heat ripple through her as the StarClanner mentioned her doubts. Had they overheard her conversation with Nightpaw just mere heartbeats ago? Would Nightpaw get in trouble because of it? He was just trying to comfort her, she knew. It wouldn't be fair for him to receive punishment. And he hadn't exactly been wrong...
"W-wait, what was your name again?" She stumbled over her words, unsure of how to really start this conversation. Was she allowed to ask anything she wanted? Would they give her complete, honest answers? What if she asked the wrong questions? Juniperpaw hesitated for several heartbeats before continueing, "I don't want to be a warrior. I'm scared. I- I don't know what to do. What do I do? I can't do this."
