Creampaw's Moonstone Journey

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Specklepaw strecthed, flexing each of her claws in turn as she awaited Creampaw's arrival. Despite living among the stars for many moons, the speckled she was still younger, smaller, and softer than the living visitor, still having bits of her kitten fluff cling to her coat and her legs still oddly proportioned to the rest of her body. She had kept an eye on her Clan for many seasons, once she had finally given up searching for her Mama. Maybe... maybe Mistysky was simply not in StarClan. She didn't know how it could be possible that her mother wouldn't be-- her mother had been the nicest cat ever-- but somehow she just couldn't find the grey-and-white she anywhere in the star-lit realm. A little prick of aprehension dug its way into her chest and curled itself there.

But that wasn't why she was here today. Creampaw was visiting, and for the first time ever, she would be receiving the visitor! Speaking of Creampaw, the cream-and-white tabby she was already here, opening her eyes tentativly before looking around StarClan's territory. They were in the moors, as was usual for WindClan apprentices' arrival, and the flowers were all in bloom. Specklepaw personally thought they were really pretty.

Once the apprentice had had some time to look around, Specklepaw spoke up, "Hello there! My name's Specklepaw; I was a WindClan apprentice many moons ago. Tell me, do you have any questions?" Her voice was bright, cheerful, as it always had been. Even when she was really sad there was no reason for her to act sad, 'cause then everyone else would be sad too, and that's no fun. Her head tipped to the side as she waited for the other apprentice's answer. Or was it a question? It didn't matter, she was just so excited to finally be able to do the big warrior things like receive apprentices for their moonstoen journey. She didn't have much wisdom to share, but she had a ton of flowers and jokes!

Slowly, the look of awe from StarClan's land faded from Creampaw's expression, replaced with this sort of... insulted look. Disgust and hurt flashed through the molly's eyes, and her lips curled as if she both wanted to sneer and to cry. Specklepaw's brow furrowed; this was an unusual reaction. Wasn't Creampaw supposed to be excited? All apprentices were excited to meet StarClan. So why did she look so conflicted, so much hurt by Specklepaw's presence?

"You." Creampaw's voice trembled, shaking, and her paws too seemed to shiver. Her claws were out, Specklepaw noted. "Why you, of all cats? Why a small apprentice that looks barely older than a kit?" The apprentice went on, anger and rage seeping into her voice as she spoke. Her tail was lashing, and hot tears pricked at her yellow-green eyes. Specklepaw just watched on with silence. Creampaw looked like she had a lot she needed to get off her chest.

"Is this a joke? Why wasn't I sent a leader, a medicine cat, an elder, somebody, somebody useful and of value... why am I still not enough?" Specklepaw took a step back as Creampaw's voice rose again and again until she was screaming out each word. Was- was Creampaw mad at her? Dread settled into the bottom of her belly as Creampaw only went on and on. Who knew one single cat who could contain so much rage and hurt in their voice alone...

"Your value doesn't come from the cats around you, Creampaw. Your mentor or your parents or the StarClan cat greeting you doesn't define what kind of cat you are." Tentatively, Specklepaw rested her tail on Creampaw's shoulder. It was promptly shrugged off, but she could see that Creampaw was beginning to calm down. That was good. "I've seen you, you know. Talking down to other cats, throwing your anger wherever you like... not caring about anyone but yourself."

"What do you know?" Creampaw's furious glare burned into Specklepaw. "I don't have any anger to throw around. They deserve what they got, and it's got nothing to do with me."

Specklepaw blinked at the molly. "Is that what you think?" As Creampaw faltered, the StarClanner got to her paws and began walking away. "Walk with me, Creampaw." The cream-and-white tabby starred at the retreating figure of the ex-WindClanner for a moment longer before scrambling to her paws and racing to catch up. "You're afraid you're the worst so you act like you're the best. And that's damaging, Creampaw. It's hurting you by pushing away all the cats who genuinely want to care about you," Specklepaw spoke softly, gazed fixed on the horizon. "And what if I don't want other cats to care? What if I'm perfectly fine alone?" Creampaw spat out. She probably was glaring into Specklepaw's neck, but she paid it no mind.

"Then, you'll die alone, Creampaw."

...Ah, what a cruel last thing to say to her. Would it be enough to scare her into rethinking her actions? Specklepaw hoped it was. She glanced back at the place where Creampaw had been moments ago. That was... a strange first attempt at receiving an apprentice. She wanted to talk it over with somebody... Mama wasn't here, but Blazefang had joined her recently. Her... friend. Though they had not spent much of their lives together, Blazefang was still her friend. A small smile settled on her face as she turned away in search of the ginger molly.