Little Bird [c]

Bubblebeam felt it coming in the air. Despite the full brunt of greenleaf's warmth seeming more outwardly welcoming than ever, for some reason, the air smelled like leaf-fall. And when she saw the soberness in Crookedlight's eyes when he invited her out on a walk with himself and Uncle Rain, she knew. She saw in the depth of his gaze the same weariness, the same regret, the same tightened resolve that she'd been slowly developing over the past several moons. And given what they'd spoken about the last time that the three of the went patrolling alone, it wasn't too far a jump to assume that they'd gone from thinking about their decision to making it. Still, she couldn't manage any words other than a nod to agree with going out. They'd give their full logic, she was sure... though the knowledge that this would be a final goodbye didn't make it any easier. Even the greenleaf heat felt fleeting and chilly on a day like this.

Silence lingered for quite a while. Distantly, birds chirped in the trees, and light breezes rustled the dark green leaves characteristic of the season. As much as camp felt less and less like home, Bubblebeam still adored the territory she'd grown up in. Its beauty ought to have soothed her. Soft grass beneath the pads of her paws, the familiar scents of deciduous tree bark and loamy soil, the rocky outcroppings they passed to the outlook of the territory. And yet... even its natural glow, and the presence of two of the few family members she had left, couldn't quite take the edge off of her quietly roiling grief. The time had come, and she couldn't push it back any longer. Which meant that her own time, whatever it would be, would have to arrive soon. She couldn't continue living in stagnation. Choosing her own path, even if it would be more difficult, would end up more fulfilling in the long run. She knew this logically. But since when had logic ever made things easier for her?

Eventually, Crookedlight spoke. Bubblebeam stopped and swiveled her ears forward to listen. Her suspicions proved correct; sadness could not reenter her, nor could resolve, nor determination, so her heart simply settled within her like a heavy stone. She knew that they had to go. But... what she had not quite been expecting was the invitation to join them. Her uncle and his dear friend, who had both been unfailingly kind and loving to her, even when others pulled back or left or gave their affection on conditions. It wasn't that bad of an idea, all things considered, and if she hadn't had anywhere else to go she might have thought about it. Even if the idea of Twolegplace made her shiver. Live away from the forest? Live in such an unfamiliar place, so far away from anything and everything else? It might be peaceful, as they claimed, but at what cost? Yet even that was not the real reason. She couldn't shake the thoughts of the other cats in this forest that still tied her to it. Hemlockfox, Ploverwing, and Sorrelmist... then Silverbird, and Hawkmist. Too many to leave, even though she would miss her uncles dearly. Too many worth risking her safety for, even with the potentially better option laid out before her.

Bubblebeam remained quiet for a moment, looking at her uncles in turn, struggling with the words that she needed to say and the love she had to convey. "I know exactly how you feel," she murmured, matching the soft tone of Crookedlight's voice. "I know I'll have to leave SkyClan soon, too. I won't deny... the offer to join you is tempting. You, both of you, have been so kind to me, even when I've been an absolute mess. I love you both very much. I'll miss you more than I can express. But... I can't go with you." She swallowed past the lump in her throat. They'd been nothing but wonderful to her, and here she was, disappointing them one last time before they left for good. "I hope that you find a perfect, happy, peaceful place. But... even as selfish as I am, I can't leave everything behind like that. There's too many cats here that I still care about. My siblings and my friends. I couldn't do that to them. Not when I love them so much, even though I love you both just as dearly. I've already been torn so many directions over the past few moons... one more won't kill me."

She pressed her nose to Rainfrost's, and then rested her head briefly on Crookedlight's shoulder. Despite the pain welling up inside her, despite the knowledge that this goodbye would be their last, she couldn't cry. The tears stuck at the back of her gaze and refused to flow. Maybe she was just tired of crying. "I don't blame you at all. I wish you the best, and I hope you know that wherever you are, I'll be thinking of you. I love you. I'll miss you, so much. Please... stay safe, wherever you go. Live long and happy lives together."