homesick of home (c)

"If they can't find a way to keep you here... then I'll find a way to go with you. Plover and Sorrel, too, I'm sure. We can't be separated--not again."

Newleaf had officially arrived. It should have heralded a time of warmth, of peace, of contentment... so why did the return of the early-rising sun make Bubblebeam feel so cold? Even though the breeze ruffling her fur brought a scent of flowers, even though the deciduous trees now slowly began to regain their leaves, she did not feel the season's comfort. It was as if the long, dull leaf-bare lived inside her heart. Even now, as she got to go on a hunting patrol with her sisters, she should have been able to bask in the love they still shared. In the knowledge that--everything else notwithstanding, Sunfire and Mintglade and Wolfblossom and Silverhawk notwithstanding--her siblings would still love her, no matter what. Sorrelmist and Ploverpaw would never abandon her even if everyone else did. But even the joy of that knowledge felt dimmed by the revelation Hemlockfox had shared with her just recently. That he was leaving. That he would have to leave. That the stars had decided to tear apart what little of their family remained.

Did her sisters know? How could she tell them? She wanted nothing less than to tell them--nothing less than to see the devastation she'd felt echoed on their faces. She couldn't say anything. Not yet, anyway... not until she worked up the courage.

Instead, as they walked out into the now sun-warmed territory, hearing the chitters of returning birds, Bubblebeam walked between her sisters and felt their fur brush against hers. Sorrelmist, ever the quiet and steady presence, even more withdrawn and silent since the journey they'd shared. She bore the same heavy empathy and desire for affection that had been dragging them both down since apprenticeship. The only true solace they'd had during Ploverpaw's awful disappearance had been in each other, strengthening their bond further. Though they did not talk often, talking was unnecessary. Bubblebeam felt better just from being near her, breathing in her scent. And Ploverpaw... her other beloved sister. Sweet, kind, cloud-soft on the inside and the outside. Both of her sisters were such wonderful spirits; they didn't deserve this pain that the world brought them. Bubblebeam looked carefully into both sets of eyes--one pair moss-green, one pair a sky-blue--with her own gaze, a pale grayish green that looked like a mix of both. She knew and understood what she saw there. The exhaustion, the loss of their father's love, the repressed fear of losing each other. She knew... and she loved them all the more despite how the similarities traced a sharp claw down her heart. She did not love one of them an ounce more than the other, but she loved them both with everything her heart contained. Everything... and more.

There wasn't any point in dredging up the pain that they shared between them. It was heavy enough to bear already; speaking about it might only make it worse. What would they talk about, then? Certainly not the news from Hemlockfox... not yet, anyway. She could not bear even thinking about it, let alone bringing it up since their brother may not have told them yet. A dark gray-furred tom popped into her mind for a moment, but she pushed that idea away also. Though she knew her sisters would not judge her for feeling... warm... towards Silverbird, she also did not exactly want to bring him up. Not out of the blue, anyway. So what should they talk about? Starting conversations used to be her strong suit, but nowadays, it had been an art that she slowly lost. Her love of conversations had been gradually decaying, mildewing in the frigid temperatures, and had yet to truly return.

The trill of a nearby bird grabbed Bubblebeam's attention. She looked up and away from her sisters, narrowing her eyes at the sight of a sparrow on a tree branch close to the ground. "One moment." Though she missed the warm comfort of her sisters' pelts close to hers dearly when she moved away, she knew that they had to at least put up the appearance of productivity. This was technically a hunting patrol, after all. Quietly she dropped into a hunting crouch, watching the sparrow hop onto the ground and begin pecking around for its own meal. Hopefully it would become her meal, instead. She just had to focus. Don't think about your claws or your teeth. Just think about the bird. Just catch it. And for once, her instincts and training actually kicked in. She stalked close, pinned her ears back, and leapt. Paws landed squarely on the sparrow. A quick, merciful kill. The queasiness in her stomach was minor; easy to ignore. A small smile grew on Bubblebeam's face at her success. She brought the bird back and kicked a few old, dead leaves over it so they could return to it later. Then she turned her grin to Ploverpaw and Sorrelmist. "It's been a while since I've caught something so easily. I think you're my good luck charms."

Bubblebeam attempts to catch a bird... Success! -3 SP

The member 'Ash' has done the following action : Dice roll

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'Hunting Dice' : 4

The member 'Lapis' has done the following action : Dice roll

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'Hunting Dice' : 5