with every heartbeat i have left, i will defend your every breath [open after the kits post]

Leopardstar hadn't taken the news that she was expecting kits particularly well, but she thought she could probably be forgiven for that; given all the stress she was under in every aspect of her life and her role. The first time she'd still had Echomist at her side, and she'd only been deputy then.

If there was a small comfort to be found in the tears that had threatened to fall every day since she moved to the nursery, it was that she was in the nursery; safe and sound in ShadowClan's camp. These kits would be born to the marsh, they would know their home and their place within it from the day they opened their eyes.

She wasn't sure if she was sad that none of them looked too much their father, or if she was somehow relieved.

Smokeykit resembled his namesake well, all grey and white like smoke come to life. She could only hope with all her heart that he would burn long and bright.

Spiderkit's fur was dark, and watching his small form crawl about reminded her of long nights spent watching the little creatures do the same.

Cardinalkit, meanwhile, was reddish-brown and black and white, and her name reflected the darker colors. They brought to mind the birds that she had sometimes seen in the trees near the edge of the marsh, toward Highpine.

Briarkit's mismatched patches of striped tabby fur, marked with smaller patches of white, had been met with the amused thought of briar patch; and the pattern that marked her fur reminded her of their thorns.

Webkit looked similar to Leopardstar herself, if in a lighter shade--silver, really, rather than gray. But the spots and stripes seemed to mirror her own. It was that silver color that earned her her name, so reminiscent of the way intricately woven spiderwebs sometimes seemed to glow under the moonlight.

Regardless of their appearance, regardless of their names, regardless of the fact that they would never know Echomist outside of the stories she told them, she loved them deeply and fiercely. She loved them with the knowledge that she did not deserve the blessing that was their existence, and that she would strive to be worthy of them for the rest of her life.

"I love you," she told them, every single day. Intent on making sure they would never forget. "More than anything in the world. More than there are stars in the sky."

She couldn't give them the world, couldn't make sure that they never suffered any hardship, but she could try. She could make sure that they were loved, and that they knew it.

She had told them stories of their father, of the siblings they wouldn't get to meet, and of herself and the ones they would get to know. Not the bloody, bitter endings--they didn't need to hear those, not when they were still young and innocent--but they deserved to know the rest of their family, too.

I will do all that I can for you. Now and forever, for as long as I walk this earth; everything I do will, in some way, be for you.

She nudged each of them gently.

This time... This time, I'll do better.

I'll do right by you. I swear it.

the gods can judge me when i'm dead || code (c) kieer

Of course, no moment of peace could last for an eternity; and it seemed that her affectionate nudging had caused them each to stir. Kits were creatures of mischief, something she knew all too well, and based on her prior experience they were often quick to start fighting with their littermates.

"Settle down, all of you," she instructed. "Webkit, stop assaulting your sister."

Smokeykit's words reached her a moment later, and she flicked one ear in acknowledgement.

"Have I already told you the story of the day we really got to know one another? It was when we were still apprentices."

the gods can judge me when i'm dead || code (c) kieer