I've Only Got Eyes for You [C]

Wiggleworm was better! Or as healthy as a cat that had come back from the brink of death could be. The cure had worked wonders on him, and as Silverdusk trotted behind him she couldn't help but marvel at the sight before them. While there was certainly no denying that he wasn't a hundred percent, the large tom looked worlds better than he had just a few days ago. There was a healthy glow to his pelt, he was gaining weight albeit slowly and here Wiggleworm was before his bestfriend walking and talking and hunting like nothing had ever gone wrong in the world. That couldn't be farther from the truth, but who would want to dwell on that when the weather was so good, and the occasion better still? Leafbare was waning, its cold claws finally thawing. Frost melted earlier, and the snow drops were starting to bloom. In the early morning light, bathed in the soft gold hues of the sun the forest - and wiggleworm - were the picture of rebirth that Newleaf would bring.

At his beckoning, Silverdusk trotted to his side, brushing off the dew that clung to the undergrowth as they did so. They had given him the lead, letting the spotted warrior set the pace of their hunt. There was no need for either of them to exert themselves considering they were in recovery, not that Silverdusk had ever paid the advice of the medicine cats any heed. Their teeth flashed as she matched Wiggleworm's grin. A grin that soon became a frown, much to the tall warriors dislike.

"You are thinking of Softpaw..." Silverdusk swallowed, shaking their head sadly. The word "sorry" was on the tip of her tongue, something they had found themself saying far too much recently for things no would could predict or control. Everything felt like a burden, and "sorry" always seemed like it was the answer. It was not. She knew that all too well, it was a word of pity, of sad eyes and shared glances between clanmates when you walked past them. It was the same cursed look they had guiltily worn when visiting Wiggleworm upon returning from the lakes. The molly opened her mouth, and then closed it. "I did not know her well, but I know she would be happy to see how far you have come," they finally offered, brushing against Wiggleworm "Softpaw hunts in Gekala now."

The sadness shared between the two was brief, the tom moving on to happier fields. "My favourite prey?" Silverdusk's brow furrowed, deep in thought at such a trivial question. So many options, and little prey they had actually tried. Starving really had put a damper on that. They supposed most ThunderClan cats would say squirrel, and she agreed they were nice, but the best? Mice... their bones got stuck in her, and birds you had to pluck... So much effort for such little reward. Rabbits were nice too, bigger than squirrels. What if their favourite prey was something she had never had before like... "Frog?" Silverdusk blinked, what if it was gross? "I have never had it before though, I just think I would like it." they admitted, laughing softly.

The member 'GravisCordis' has done the following action : Dice roll

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'Hunting Dice' : 4

Silverdusk gave pause, Wiggleworm's harsh words reminding the she-cat of the truth they had not told him yet. Mottlestar had called for war, and of course the silver warrior had not hesitated to put their name down. Justice was owed and ThunderClan would deliver. Come next moon they would ensure the forest was rid of the filth that plagued their borders, that took, and took, and took. It was not a decision she had taken and lightly, but it was necessary. ThunderClan needed her. Needed able warriors, that would not balk in the face of death, and stars knew Silverdusk had spent their apprenticeship staring down the god of death. By now they were probably acquaintances. The thought made Silverdusk chuckle, but it was short lived, quickly replaced by the notion of telling Wiggleworm the finality of what being selected would mean, though he probably knew all too well.

Green eyes followed his large form, as the tom pushed on ahead, the thicket parting to let him pass and her following in the wake he made. There was silence between them his angry words hanging heavy, a side to him Silverdusk had never seen, but it was far from unwarranted. It matched how they felt, the rage and apathy they held for SkyClan. Their only response was a hum in agreement, as the weight of the lean warriors actions bore down upon her. Keeping it from Wiggleworm too crushed them, though they would tell him. Just not immediately, the spotted cat had already banished his anger, and was steaming ahead. As always they never wanted to hurt him, nor ruin the light he emitted, and so as he rushed off Silverdusk resigned their self to how it always was - Wiggleowrm making them smile and laugh with such ease and she, doing their best to make him just as happy. It did not come easily, or it didn't today when the weight of the world seemed to rest on the newly named warrior.

Silverdusk sat down, tail flicking as they waited for Wiggleworm to return from his hunting excursion. Alone, it was the best moment she would have to go over the intricacies of their choice. There was little consolation to be found, neither were stupid, both knew blood would be shed, lives would be lost - she herself could be among them. How would Wiggleworm feel losing them too, so soon after Softpaw? Their heart clenched at the thought of him being sad, at him hurting because she wasn't coming home. They had asked to join the patrol for him, to avenge Softpaw in the only way they knew how. If he was not well enough, then somebody else had to step up. A choice she had made instantly, it wasn't a hard choice back then, but now...

What if it was Wiggleworm in their stead? Him going off to war, the god of death looming over him, greedy claws outstretched once again. His body that was returned to ThunderClan bloody and broken, eyes still and glassy, his light extinguished. Silverdusk dropped their head, screwing her eyes closed. No, not her Wiggleworm. It was all hypothetical, but the idea, the visions that it conjured to their mind destroyed her, drawing forth feelings and emotions Silverdusk hadn't even considered nor allowed to register within them.

For the past moons he had been their constant, unwavering and steadfast, giving her hope when she needed it and joy without even having to ask. Silverdusk didn't know when their feelings for Wiggleworm had changed, but the idea of losing him, of a life without him... It was unbearable. Both had found solace and comfort in the other's company, and now it seemed destined they would be forever reliant on the other. Though, she supposed signing themself away, presenting themself on a platter for whatever cruelty the war would entail, all to keep Wiggleworm (and to an extent, ThunderClan safe) was a declaration of love within itself, even if the molly had not known it at the time.

For the realisation of the intensity of Silverdusk's feelings to come crashing down upon them, it meant the war on the horizon was the cruellest sentence. The time between, both a gift and a curse. A time to mourn what they could have, if the tom returned their feelings. A family, that until now hadn't even crossed their mind to be mourned, happiness, love and contentment - all things that were never going to be their's. A choked noise escaped their maw, and it shocked her. The only consolation being the assurance of Wiggleworm's safety, and the fact ironically enough Silverdusk wasn't a stranger to wiggling their way out of death's cold and unflinching grasp.

She drew a shaky breath in, letting their emotions simmer and quell. Wiggleowrm had to know their name was on that list, to not to tell him would be to destroy the very foundations of their friendship - honesty. It took several moments to gather themself back together, to fix the seal that was usually so tightly locked that Silverdusk had paid it no heed. Never had it reared its head like this, and hopefully it never would again. Being overcome with emotion, weak and unable to move, it was not them, and it never would be again. Just as their composure returned, her name sounded bright and happy, so contrasting to what the tall she-cat had uncovered and then promptly buried.

With a sniffle and a smile, Silverdusk gathered their paws beneath them, and joined Wiggleworm. She worked a cool facade onto her face, a feeble attempt to hide the storm that brewed beneath. It wasn't hard to pretend she was happy, because spending time with him made her happy, and all he seemed to do was try and make her happier still. The frog beneath his large paws just another example of that. A purr rumbled in the warrior's throat as they drew near, inspecting his catch. "You really didn't have to, now I owe you a piece of your favourite prey... Which regretfully I don't even know." Thier green yes roamed over the frog. It looks so weird... Silverdusk laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. "Shall we try it?" they asked settling down beside him, pelts brushing.

They reached forward taking a bite of the frog, chewing thoroughly and letting it speak for itself. The tenderness of the meat surprised them, and the tase was akin to bird, but... they searched for the word... RiverClan? It tasted how they smelt. Surprisingly, it wasn't unpleasant at all, she even purred happily. The frog was made all the better by the fact Wiggleworm had caught it just for them. "I really liked it!" mewed Silverdusk swallowing the last of her bite "You're a great hunter, Wiggleworm." they pressed their side to his, but quickly drew away, guilt from what she had to tell him pushing them away.

"I have to tell you something."

Green eyes stared at the puddle a tail length away, watching their reflection, seeing the sadness and loss they felt internally reflected back at her. She lifted her eyes from the pool to Wiggleworm before continuing. "I gave Mottlestar my name to call upon for the war patrol. It is my duty to protect ThunderClan, I vowed it, but... I also did it for you. For Softpaw. They took her from you,"[/i]  a growl rose up in Silverdusk's throat at the anger they felt towards SkyClan rose up again "And they will pay, I will make sure of it. It is not wrong to seek reparations for what was taken, nor to stop them from taking more." her eyes locked with his making it pointed what, or who, that more in question was. "I know what it may cost if I am chosen, and I am sorry, but I cannot stand idly by and let the filth within SkyClan fester. I'm sorry Wiggleworm, but I had to at least put my name down, I would hate myself if I did not." they finished, dropping their head and letting them sit with her confession out in the open.

Silverdusk's heart hammered uncomfortably against their chest as Wiggleworm spoke. The hurt in his voice... The fear... For her... They wanted to shy away, to take it back. Caught in the crosswords of the vow sworn to ThunderClan, and the love they held for Wiggleworm. Were they not the same? He was ThunderClan, to protect ThunderClan was by extension to protect him. But he didn't see it that way, his concerns lied elsewhere. With her. Silverdusk wrapped their bushy tail tightly around her paws. Green eyes remained trained to the ground, each word slicing deep, deeper than the claws they could soon be facing.

"I can't..." was all she could offer weakly. It was too late, if they took back their name her cowardice would be immortalised, a stain on the path they had carved. Taking back her name... She'd be putting her survival above the entire clans. It was wrong, and [i]he saw that![/]i Yet still he asked, no, begged for her to stay. "If I..." The lean molly opened their mouth and closed it, trying and failing to construct a sentence, to explain how she couldn't take it back. Words didn't come to them, not when she wanted so badly to remain behind with him. Silverdusk  wanted to cover their ears, to shut out what he was saying, to never know him so she didn't feel like to fight for the right thing was a betrayal. "I don't..."

Silverdusk let out a shuddery breath, hunching their shoulders, mimicking how incredibly small they felt inside. "It's not that simple." she mewed, finally finding their voice again. "I..." Her voice was quick to make its escape again. Green eyes risked a glance towards him. The look on Wiggleworm's face was infinitely worse than anything he said. The absence of his presence against their side, as he stared horrified, trembling. Afraid. Was the sickness back? She felt dizzy all over again. All those emotions... "Wiggleworm I..." they swallowed thickly, "I wish it were different."

She unfurled her tail from around their paws, intwining it with his, Hoping it would calm him. "My name may not even be picked yet. I am the youngest warrior, there are those far more capable than me Mottlestar can choose from." She turned her head, offering him a sad smile, trying to be hopeful, to reassure him even if Silverdusk felt in their bones that they were wrong. They didn't know what it was, the weird forboding feeling they felt, but deep down she knew they were already on that patrol. "It will all be okay, Wiggleworm. Now, you try the frog, before it is cold." they mewed with a hollow laugh.

Forest Speak
Feral Speak


They glanced at the frog, and Silverdusk opened her mouth to reply, insist upon sharing or at least getting him something to eat, but before they could Wiggleworm was licking her. There tears in his eyes too, ones she'd caused. Their body felt on fire, this was so wrong. Here he was trying to comfort her, take care of her, when he was the one that needed that. "What..." Silverdusk swallowed, completely at a loss of what to say or do, then the spotted tom was speaking again. Begging her in between licks to be safe. Their ears fell backwards, and she was almost grateful when he drew back so they didn't feel guilty about being completely unresponsive.

His demand wasn't unexpected, nor unfair. She had asked him the same thing, and that was moons ago. Their bond had only grown since then, Wiggleworm was more than entitled to ask this of them, and to hold her to it, just as they did him. I promise I will come back to you, Wiggleworm" replied Silverdusk, meeting his eyes, her gaze just as fierce as when they'd asked him the same question in the medicine den. "I will come back." she affirmed, and then she leaned forward and began to comb his pelt too. "I can swear it in feral too. I promise I will come back to you, Wiggleworm." They curled their bushy tail around his again, hoping that it would convey how much the molly meant it. She would come home, and everything would be okay, and neither of them would ever have to worry about anything ever again. Perhaps that was a way naive way of thinking, but it was better than considering the alternative. Silverdusk ceased their licking then leaned back against him. "Thank you for the frog, and thank you for caring about me, Wiggleworm.