winter (c)

The stars felt more and more like home with each passing hour.

The thought should have, perhaps, been more terrifying than it was. Frostpaw was a ghost, both awake and asleep, a degree removed from the happenings of both the living and the dead. She wandered her own path, alone and almost content in it, stalking through a starry marsh, ever wandering. Perhaps she’d find someone new to speak with.

Snowfoot’s role as a mother had long since ended, or perhaps shifted was the better word. Her kits here in StarClan still needed her, but there was nothing she could do but watch as the two she left behind pushed each other away. Now, though, someone else needed her. Someone caught between the living and StarClan. She couldn’t bear to see Frostpaw alone in her wanderings. A kit (or apprentice, she supposed) should never be lost like this, without guidance. She had to do something.

Clearing her voice, Snowfoot stepped out of the mist and made her presence known. “Hello again, young one.”

For once, the voice that called out was familiar.

Something almost akin to a smile lingered on Frostpaw’s maw for a moment as she met Snowfoot’s gaze, warmth sparking in her orange eyes. She meant familiarity and comfort in a time that was indeed scarce. The small apprentice padded forwards, tail-tip flicking, coming to a halt a fox-tail away from the older molly. It was good to see Snowfoot again. Frostpaw could faintly remember hearing her stories as a very young kit, and it was Snowfoot who had greeted her at her Moonstone. A kindly, gentle molly.

She dipped her head in greeting. “Hello. I do not suppose you have any answers for me?”

She had not bothered to ask any other StarClanner for answers regarding her condition, but if anyone knew it would have to be Snowfoot, correct? If the older molly wanted her to carry a message, she would.

Snowfoot shook her head. “StarClan does not know everything,” she mewed. “All I can say is that you’re not dead right now. Your body is very weak and your mind is starting to drift, but you’re still alive.” Not the most comforting thing to be able to say.

“How about this? Come sit down and I’ll tell you a story. It begins with a promise: ‘I will be there.’ My mother made this promise to her best friend, and when her friend’s kits were left without a home she guided them to safety. She made the same promise to me, and not even the Dark Forest was able to keep her from watching over me after she died. I made the promise to my children, and I have never stopped watching over ShadowClan. And my mother promised my children too, and when her great-grandchildren were born too soon she took them in.

Sometimes it can be hard to see that others are there for us. It took a long time for me to find the way to my mother and see she was still beside me. But you know what? In that time, I gained a whole clan of family members who I could always count on. Right now there are medicine cats working tirelessly to save your life, and I know they’ll do everything they can.

I remember my first crush. I wanted to spill my guts when I called her the wrong name by accident. Y’know what? I think every single cat in StarClan has an embarrassing story like that. We’re just cats like everyone else, after all.

I only hope you never have to see some of the things I’ve seen. The Dark Forest rose when I was young, under the leadership of the dastardly Dawnhawk, a cat who let hate consume him. The roots of the forest shifted as StarClan was cut off. We lived in frigid days and starless nights for many moons, before a few brave souls sacrificed themselves to save us all. Never let hate control you, Frostpaw. Hate is not your clanmate.

You can never count on hate, and you can’t always count on even your clanmates, but there are things you can count on. Love, family, true friendship, mercy. All of those will be there for you if you look for them.

One of the cats we lost was my best friend. Sometimes in the moons that followed I would dream we were on patrol together, only to wake up and find it was all wishful thinking. But you know what? I know now that she was watching me, just like I’ve been watching you.

So when you need someone who’s gone, remember we’re never lost so long as we are remembered. We’re all right here, watching from the stars, waiting for you.”

The she-cat smiled a bit. “To be honest, I don’t think it’s your time yet. Go, Frostpaw. Love, live, but never forget.”