Spill your guts ! [c]

Subject: Spill your guts ! [c] Wed 13 Dec 2023 - 5:24

The dreary clouds overhead seemed to match Silverpaw’s own downcast mood. They sat hunched over, their head hung, another of her meals that they couldn’t keep down at their paws. The sickness had dug its claws in deep, and it hadn’t let go for what felt like moons. As Silverpaw stood their their body felt like lead, and it took all her willpower to not collapse for what must have been the hundredth time. Today was a particularly bad day for the she-cat and their fight. Fawnshine’s herbs had since worn off and the little relief she had felt had slipped away too. Her leg thrummed in pain, certainly healing, even if today it felt like it never would. Her eyes, bleary from tears she could not control, focused on a dark brown shape moving towards them.

Silverpaw blinked several times, attempting to clear her vision. Wigglepaw. The large tom was Vinecrawler and Crocusfrost’s brother, she had been aquatinted with both of them. Despite her time resting with the other sick cats, whom they knew her and Wigglepaw were amongst the sickest the younger apprentice had hardly spoken to him. Their tail flicked in greeting, welcoming Wigglepaw to join them.

Silverpaw waited for the tom to take his seat, before looking him up and down. She frowned. He had certainly seen better days, so had she, but being born during a famine, and being cursed with an incurable disease Silverpaw doubted they had ever even looked well. It was a wonder she had survived, and an even bigger mystery that she was still trying to prove that in some way they were as capable. The apprentice’s pride prevented her from truly resting, or being transparent about their condition. But as she looked at the tabby tom, who was as sick as her and looking just as miserable maybe she could open the gates.

Just a little bit.

“You look awful, Wigglepaw. ” meowed Silverpaw bluntly. She wheezed. “I know I do too.” Their eyes flicked to the floor, where she had vomited. “Watch your paws, that was my lunch.” There was a hint of bitterness in her tone, but none of it was directed towards Wigglepaw.

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Subject: Re: Spill your guts ! [c] Sun 7 Jan 2024 - 17:30

Wigglepaw

Gender: Male
Rank: Apprentice

("Feral Language")
("Forest Language")

Wigglepaw was doing horribly. He couldn't hold down a meal for the life of him, so water was the only thing that quieted the rumbling in his belly. Oh, he still vomited that too, but at least he wasn't wasting any food, and it was less of a mess. Swinging his head blearily to survey the mostly empty camp, his gaze landed on a grey apprentice who wasn't having any better luck at keeping her meals down. Silverpaw had been a familiar presence ever since their sickness had worsened and despite hardly speaking to them, he had grown used to seeing her around the camp.

Puffing, the dusky brown tom hauled himself to his paws, muscles and limbs protesting at even that simple action. He swayed for a moment, dizziness threatening to bring him back to the ground, but he managed to pull himself back together in time to catch himself. The urge to shake himself was strong, but even though it might wake him up a bit, it would also only make the queasy sensation in his stomach worse. So, on shaking legs, the massive apprentice made his was to Silverpaw.

She was smaller than him...by a lot, but they were on even ground now with the illness that was raging through their bodies. Despite how poorly they were doing, he knew that he looked just as bad if not worse. As he approached, they gestured for him to join them, and he gladly found a sunny spot to collapse onto. Silence stretched between them for a moment before Silverpaw finally spoke, their throat scratchy. He tilted his head down to stare at her, an amused chuff escaping his jaws.

They were certainly one to talk but, honestly, did anyone look good right now? From the cold weather to the disease ravaging the clans, just about everyone looked as though they had been run over by a monster. Laughing despite the pain constricting his chest, Wigglepaw shrugged. "Hey, this is one of my better days." He meowed lightly. It was true, sadly. Nothing would compare to the time he'd nearly drowned in a puddle trying to get a drink of water.

His attention darted to the pool of vomit on the ground, and he cringed, glad that he was too ill to smell it. "Yes, I have not been able to keep much down either." It showed, too, in the way his pelt hung from his frame like a bed of wet moss. Breath rattling in his chest, the older tom blinked warmly at Silverpaw, concern evident in his voice. "How are you feeling, though? Is there help I- a way I can help?" He stumbled over the format of the sentence for a moment, then mentally kicked himself. He'd had moons of practice, and yet the forest language still tripped him up on occasion. Perhaps it always would...

Subject: Re: Spill your guts ! [c] Tue 9 Jan 2024 - 1:53

A feeble smile crept it is way onto Silverpaw’s maw, unable to remain so temperamental with the tom’s attitude. “I wish i was having a better day.” she replied. Thinking back Silverpaw could not remember their last good day, and things had only gotten worse since the incident with Brightpaw. Though, she also couldn’t remember much. Most of her memories and time spent being sick were a hazy mess shoved to the back of their mind so as to not to dwell on the truth of her condition. Their bushy tail flickered in thought as she considered her condition and the extent of it. It seemed Wigglepaw was in the same boat too, but instead of downplaying it with the outright denial she had, he compensated for it with his bright personality. An optimist’s out view was probably the better coping mechanism of the two, Silverpaw’s stubbornness could get them killed.

Similar to her though, Wigglepaw was still insistent in trying to help, even if deep down they both probably knew there wasn’t much they could do for one another. Silverpaw shook her head softly in reply, trying to avoid the nausea that came with sudden jerky movements. “I don’t think so, just the company is fine.” meowed the silver apprentice cocking her head “May I help you?” Silverpaw knew he would most likely say no too, but it was rude not to offer. To be able to do something for Wigglepaw would be nice as well, StarClan knew they both needed something nice.

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Subject: Re: Spill your guts ! [c] Tue 9 Jan 2024 - 12:30

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Wigglepaw
Rank: Apprentice

The large apprentice cracked a smile the moment Silverpaw's face brightened. His previous nausea and discomfort seemed so fleeting and needless now. This was what he was meant for - cheering up those he cared about and taking care of Thunderclan. The gods had brought Hank here for a reason, had brought him and his littermates into the world...for a reason. For the longest time, he'd always assumed he just needed to listen to Cloudychase and become the perfect warrior. Well, what if he didn't want to be just another little solider? Wigglepaw blinked, shocked by his own thoughts regardless of the truth they held.

Spending time with his kin and clanmates had always been important, but maybe, he enjoyed it more than he realized. Wigglepaw stared at Silverpaw for a moment, baffled that it had taken him so long to spend time with them. Now that he was thinking about it, he didn't really know any of his clanmates that well. That would have to change.

Starting now, with Silverpaw, he would do his better. Focusing back on the younger apprentice, Wigglepaw dipped his head in acknowledgement, his eyes warm. "Understood. I feel the same way." He meowed. Without the proper herbs, there wasn't much they could do for eachother, but if there was one thing he was good at, it was listening...sometimes. Well, maybe not often, but he was a really good distraction! With a small shake of his head, Wigglepaw slid to his belly, a tired grin on his face. "And thank you, but I just need-"

He broke off with a sputter, suddenly gripped by a violent outburst of coughing. The fit lasted for several long seconds before passing, and Wigglepaw glanced up sheepishly. "A-Apologies. Rest - I just need rest." Ugh, how embarrassing! His tail tap-tap-tapped against the tightly packed earth, pelt warm - and not just from the fever. "Ahem, anyway - what's...uh, been up with you?" It was sad to admit, but he knew nothing about Silverpaw.

Subject: Re: Spill your guts ! [c] Mon 15 Jan 2024 - 0:23

For a moment, Silverpaw wasn't sure what to say or do. If Wigglepaw needed rest, she shouldn't have invited him over. Here the large tom was though, and he seemed all the better for it. An aura of ease and contentment having settled over the tom as he laid down beside them. Silverpaw opted to just blink in response to Wigglepaw an amused look on her features. The apprentice began to cough, and as he convulsed the overwhelming urge to comfort Wigglepaw surged through the younger apprentice. "Are you sure?" they mewed shifting closer, concern etched upon Silverpaw's brow.

Wigglepaw seemed to recover swiftly, but Silverpaw didn't fail to notice his uneven ragged breathing. With no real way to help one another, Silverpaw sank down on to their belly too, curling her tail over their paws to attempt to conserve the heat she was rapidly losing. Their green eyes shifted to the striped brown cat, giving him her full undivided attention. "I am unchanged." replied Silverpaw "This sickness.." she began to cough dryly, and they swallowed thickly. "I cannot do anything, and I don't see anyone... Well. except for you, and the other sick cats, but I don't... it is isolating... How about you? Have you spoken to Vinecrawler and Crocusfrost?"

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Subject: Re: Spill your guts ! [c] Tue 30 Jan 2024 - 10:19

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Wigglepaw
Rank: Apprentice

("Feral Language")
("Forest Language")

Wigglepaw nodded fervently as he settled into a more comfortable position. Silverpaw didn't look very convinced, but that was okay! They both knew that they weren't doing so well and he, at least, had come to terms with it. At this rate, the brown tom wasn't sure if he would ever be okay again. He wasn't as strong as his littermates. Well, he was, just not in the same ways. This sickness had ravaged his body for a long time, growing into something untamable and dangerous. Now, Wigglepaw was no medicine cat or genius, but he was fairly certain his feral blood had to do with why the disease was affecting him so badly.

Regardless, he was still here, and he would do his best to stay that way. Fixing his attention back on the other apprentice, Wigglepaw hummed in agreement. He understood her struggle, the pain of feeling useless and of being trapped inside of your own body, unable to do anything to save yourself...it was torture. "Yes, I know what you mean. I miss life before the sickness..." He trailed off then and frowned subtly at her question, then shook his head. "They have been busy, I am sure." He meowed good-naturedly. Vinecrawler and Crocusfrost hadn't managed to find the time to visit him, but who could blame them?

He had been adamant about keeping his distance so they wouldn't get sick like him, but that had been ages ago. He'd hoped that they would have tried to visit him, but no, they did as he'd requested, and now, he couldn't bring himself to put them in harm's way by changing his mind. Forcing a warm smile onto his face, Wigglepaw scooted closer to Silverpaw, pressing his side to theirs. "But it is alright!" He lowered his muzzle to Silverpaw's, a playful twinkle in his eyes. "You are better company - they are both very serious anyway. We did not spend much time together before." Admitting it hurt, but it was the truth.

Subject: Re: Spill your guts ! [c] Wed 31 Jan 2024 - 18:50

Silverpaw nodded in agreement. With so many sick cats to provide for, their few healthy warriors were disposed of. Quailprowler had not come by Silverpaw lamented, but no doubt Mottlestar had her strongest warrior busy. Silverpaw wouldn’t hold it against their mentor. She sidled up to Wiggleworm, ignoring how hot both their pelts were. They would shoulder the uncomfortable heat for the company. “Crocusfrost changed my bedding.” offered Silverpaw if Wigglepaw did wonder about his siblings “She seemed prickly as usual.” Silverpaw laughed suppressing another cough. There was great ease talking to Wigglepaw, and the honesty between the two… It was much appreciated. Her eyes twinkled back. “My siblings did not even see me before i was sick anyways.” they mused, tail ticking. The silver apprentice closed their eyes feeling slightly drowsy. “You are better company than they were too.”

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Subject: Re: Spill your guts ! [c] Sat 3 Feb 2024 - 20:54

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Wigglepaw
Rank: Apprentice

("Feral Language")
("Forest Language")

With a sigh, Wigglepaw leaned into Silverpaw, glad to share the burden of their illness together. His skin was hot and body aching, but with the chill in the air, sharing their body heat would help - and he would take all of the help he could get. He glanced over, though, at her mention of his sister, and smiled warmly. "I am not surprised. Crocusfrost is a good cat, but she is a bit...ah...reserved." He meowed, an affectionate purr rumbling in his chest.

Then, he peered over at his own secluded nest. It was set aside from the rest of the camp, but easily within eyesight, and definitely could use a moss change by now. Maybe he would do that if this moment of good health continued? Well, good in the sense that he wasn't lying in his nest, feverish and unable to comprehend anything around him. As the thought crossed his mind, Wigglepaw felt a sudden lurch in his stomach as bile rose from his belly, the acidity of it burning his throat as it rose into his mouth.

Swallowing thickly, the tom cleared his throat, forced the bile back down, and shot a crooked smile towards Silverpaw, hoping they didn't mind him interrupting her. Putting the near incident from his mind with ease, Wigglepaw refocused on their conversation. It was sad to hear that they weren't very close with her littermates...he couldn't imagine having little to no relationship with his own siblings. "Hm, that is their loss then - you are wonderful company, Silverpaw."

Subject: Re: Spill your guts ! [c] Wed 7 Feb 2024 - 13:42

Silverpaw hummed in agreement, nodding ever so slightly. "That is one way to say it," she whispered opening her eyes to look at Wigglepaw. "She was very helpful, and Crocusfrost let me help her a little bit... It was small, but nice to help. Though I was only helping myself. " A long rattling sigh escaped the she-cat. The brief contentment they found, was taken, when she felt Wigglepaw begin to wretch. The sudden shuffling to make sure he was okay igniting the pain in her leg, Silverpaw bit down on the yelp that wanted to escape, not wanting to show anymore weakness, far more concerend for their companion. "Wigglepaw, are you-"

The tom chucked her a wayward smile, and Silverpaw felt their heart rate slow, and her sudden worry for him ease. "Thank you, Wigglepaw." she purred, swallowing thickly. An unbecoming heat crept across their cheeks, unuse to compliments of any kind. Her ears ticked back subconsciously, unsure of how to react. The drowsiness she had felt before gone with the sudden reshuffling. Unable to drift off, Silverpaw opted for conversation instead "Have you let Fawnsine or Echosong try herbs on you?"

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Subject: Re: Spill your guts ! [c] Wed 7 Feb 2024 - 14:13

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Wigglepaw
Rank: Apprentice

("Feral Language")
("Forest Language")

Wigglepaw laughed softly. It was raspy sort of noise that forced its way painfully up his throat, but he ignored the stinging it caused and focused solely on Silverpaw. It wasn't often that he got to spend time with one of his clanmates like this, especially with how sick he was, so he would power through the aching in his bones. Besides...Silverpaw made surprisingly good company, it would be foolish to end such a nice conversation so soon. Goodness knows when or even if he'd find the energy for something like this again.

With a yawn, the large apprentice inclined his head, agreeing with them. "I understand. Feeling useless is...not my favorite." To put it lightly. It had been drilled into him from a young age that the worst thing he could do was be a drain on Thunderclan's resources. Even before he was sick, Wigglepaw couldn't stand how useless he felt. He was a lousy hunter, at best, and though he had gotten better, he was no match for even half of Thunderclan's warriors.

Wigglepaw turned away and rested his chin atop his paws with a shaky sigh. He tried not to let it get to him, but it was hard to forget what Cloudychase had taught him all those moons ago. Slowly, and partially because of Sageroot, he'd come to realize that he wasn't quite the disappointment Cloudychase made him out to be, but it was difficult to reconcile the two warring parts of him. The half that screamed that he would never be good enough, usually won.

Frowning, the brown tom closed his eyes and shook his head slowly so as not to aggravate the dizziness in his head. "No, not yet. I do not want to bother them; I can handle it." She was kind to ask, but they didn't need to worry about him. He would pull through eventually, probably.

Subject: Re: Spill your guts ! [c] Thu 8 Feb 2024 - 15:47

A nod of understanding. “There is nothing worse, ThunderClan needs us, but now we are of no use… Only of hinderance.” agreed Silverpaw the growl to her words punctuated by a cough. The fur along their spine bristling at the concept of her own uselessness. Nothing. There was nothing to be do, but to lament and hope for better times. Times that didn’t want to come, but… They looked at Wigglepaw. Spending time with him today had been the best they’d felt in moons. She felt lighter. Perhaps better times were coming, albeit slowly. Her pelt settled, and they tucked their paws beneath themself. As Wigglepaw frowned, Silverpaw felt themself frowning too, an eyebrow raised in question. what saddened him? But he was speaking, answering her previous question. “Maybe they will seek you out.” she mused, often things you didn’t want to find you had an annoying way of sneaking up on you. Healing herbs would be a nice surprise compared to other things that could hunt you, like the sickness. That had snuck up on all of them and killed more than any forest predator.

Secretly, Silverpaw hoped for Wigglepaw’s sake they did seek him out. It would be good to see at least someone better, especially such a young and strong cat. That was what ThunderClan needed - capable cats. The cure had to be on the horizon, Silverpaw herself had been a test subject. The herbs had brought a small reprieve, only if momentarily, but something was better than nothing. “We will get better.” she told Wigglepaw, with more conviction than they truly felt. “Fawnshine and Echosong are working on the cure, and then we will be helpful again.“ Hopefully.

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Subject: Re: Spill your guts ! [c] Sun 11 Feb 2024 - 20:59

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Wigglepaw
Rank: Apprentice

("Feral Language")
("Forest Language")

Wigglepaw peered at Silverpaw from the corner of his eye, not quite enjoying the sudden turn of conversation. It was one thing to complain about the illness and hunger that gripped ThunderClan, but another entirely for him to whine about it. Part of his knew that it was irrational, but it seemed perfectly okay when other cats complained...just not when he did. He was larger than most of the other cats in the clan - he was supposed to be strong, tough, indomitable.

Regardless, he nodded anyway, not wanting to spoil the mood. "I suppose so." Silence fell for a moment before Silverpaw spoke again, her tone lighter than before. His expression relaxed at that, glad to have moved on from the topic. "That would be nice." He began softly. "I would prefer that they take care of everyone else first, like you or Softpaw." They were better apprentices than him anyway - if Fawnshine or Echosong healed him, their efforts would be wasted. He was a poor hunter at best and a hopeless one at worst.

Tail flicking, Wigglepaw turned fully to face his friend, dark eyes half-lidded with tiredness. Despite the sleepiness that tugged on his body, a smile worked its way back onto the tom's face. It was nice to hear someone have something positive to say. "I know we will. It is like the forest - we simply need time to heal." Right, and then, once the cure was distributed throughout the clan, they would recover, wait until newleaf came, and return home.

Subject: Re: Spill your guts ! [c] Mon 12 Feb 2024 - 1:01

Silverpaw's eyes shone with fondness at his words, but they gently shook their head. "You need the herbs just as much as anyone else," they responded. Playfully she flicked her tail against him "And if you refuse them I will force you to have them, everyone is getting better. Me, you and Softpaw all at the same time." It was easy to try and reassure him, it helped to keep the apprentice's own spirits up and the more they said it aloud the more it would come to pass. Saying silent prayers had not helped, it had all fallen on death ears, perhaps announcing it would make it true. The tired look in Wigglepaw's eyes did not escape Silverpaw, and at his mention of rest they felt inclined to accept the sleep she had been fighting. "I shall not keep you from sleep, you are as strong as the great oaks of ThunderClan and they are sleeping too." they meowed stifling a yawn "And sleep is also calling me..." Silverpaw's eyes drifted shut, and she pressed into Wigglepaw's warmth, as she finally accepted sleep. Maybe their sleep would be less fitful than usual.

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