Spottedfrog's Elder Ceremony

This was not a ceremony Wolfblossom had ever thought about doing, but now that she stood on the tallbranch, the reality of it was staring her in the face. Some cats grew old, others were taken from their duties by injuries. And Spottedfrog's injuries were, unfortunate as the circumstances surrounding them, meant the she-cat deserved rest. For however long and peaceful that would be, Wolfblossom was uncertain. The last moon had certainly been a whirlwind for Skyclan, and even more for their family. Bloodstrike... She hoped he'd found peace, if his living daughters wouldn't. Someone needed to.

With a heavy sigh, the deputy called out to the clan, tone lacking the joy it might have held for other ceremonies. "Let all cats old enough to climb a tree gather beneath the tallbranch for a clan meeting!"

It had been barely half a moon since she'd been allowed to leave the medicine den. Her wounds had healed, leaving fresh pink scars in place of ragged, gaping wounds, and Smokepetal could do no more for her. She wasn't in danger of dying any longer, infection was a threat long past, but... she still wasn't well. What plagued Spottedfrog, as she lay, curled morosely in her nest in the warriors den wasn't illness... not of the physical kind, anyway. It was unrest of the mind that she suffered, because despite her health, despite Smokepetal's success at bringing her back from nearly the brink of death, her leg was still as useless as ever.

It wasn't going to heal.

Spottedfrog was no stranger to that fact. Since the moment the limb had refused to support her as she leaped at Falcondawnmoonhawk, she knew. Because it didn't hurt, and never had. It just... wouldn't work. The medicine cat's infuriating optimism had, deep down, given her the tiniest bit of hope, but as the days passed and the limb remained lifeless, even Smokepetal had to finally admit that there was nothing more she could do.

There was only one thing left for her, now... she knew that. But the thought of never being a warrior again, the thought of languishing uselessly in the elders' den until age finally took her, filled Spottedfrog with a mixture of dread and, to her utmost surprise, fear. She was scared. Her entire life had been spent in the service of SkyClan, even the moons she'd been away from home, the only thing that mattered was returning to her family. Now, her mother was gone, her littermates had died or disappeared one by one, and her father... Spottedfrog squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to shed another tear in self pity. Bloodstrike would probably be rolling in his grave at the thought of her wasting space in the elders' den and eating food she could never repay. She was supposed to help SkyClan grow and flourish and prosper. Now all she'd ever be was a burden.

Almost distantly, she heard Wolfblossom's call. For a moment, she didn't move. If she stayed here, if she refused to attend, would that make a difference? She knew what this was... Smokepetal had been so kind as to gently inform her when it had been decided, to give her a head's up so she wouldn't be caught off guard. It hardly made a difference, but she appreciated the gesture. Green-gray eyes flicked open, and the sound of pawsteps gathering in the clearing made her pulse pound in her ears. Why did this have to be public? Couldn't she just retreat to her social exile in silence, without the need for a spectacle to be made?

Not showing up would be worse, though, that she knew. She was no coward... never had been, and didn't intend to start today. With immense difficulty - though easier still than it had been previously - she stood, hobbling towards the mouth of the den and trying to disguise the fear in her eyes as something less humiliating. Bitterness, anger, indignation, any of those would do. On three legs, with the fourth dangling uselessly with every step, Spottedfrog made her way outside, gaze straight ahead and refusing to meet anyone's eyes. Not now. Not when she was like this. The she-cat settled down near the back and sat, expression blank and fixated on the treebranch just above Wolfblossom's head.

Please, just let this be over.

"Skyclan, today we witness the retirement of a loyal and brave warrior, who has provided for and defended Skyclan for seasons." She began solemnly. Stars, but this was not a ceremony Wolfblossom wanted to do. The circumstances were unfair and horrible, a tragic accident. Bloodstrike had loved his daughters and only wanted to spend the rest of his days among family, but it was his claws that led Direction to the den he had always refused.

Blue eyes attempted to briefly hold Spottedfrog's gaze before continuing. The question was hardly a choice, but the older warrior deserved the proper ceremony despite the extent of her injuries. She had served sucks for seasons, more it was her time to rest. "Spottedfrog, is it your wish to retire from the life of a warrior and join the elder's den?" What a question to ask the she-cat sitting outside the medicine den at the back of the crowd. But she was owed that, regardless of the obvious truth. She had served her clan well, had hunted and fought and provided for them. Now Skyclan would do that for her.

From her periphery, Spottedfrog watched Wolfblossom scan the crowd to find her, but still refused to tear her eyes away from that fixed position. As she listened to the deputy's glowing review, Spottedfrog had to swallow past the bile that rose up in her throat as Wolfblossom went on, wishing desperately that she could believe a word of what was being said. For some cats, an elder ceremony was something to be celebrated - a reward for moons of service and duty come to an end. So why did this feel like a punishment?

The old warrior slicked back her ears, fighting the urge to flinch at the sound of her name preceding Wolfblossom's question. Oh, what a question... Spottedfrog knew it was a formality, but it felt still like a slap in the face. What she wouldn't give to be able to say "no, actually it's not." But such a luxury didn't exist now, nor probably would it ever.

So, in order to keep what remained of her dignity intact, though she was likely the only one bothering to measure such a thing, Spottedfrog finally lowered her gaze to meet Wolfblossom's. "It is." The lie tasted bitter on her tongue, but there it was, spoken into existence so she couldn't take it back.

Wolfblossom half-expected Spottedfrog to say no, to try and fight it. It seemed the old warrior was resigned to her retirement and the formality Wolfblossom felt she was owed. Everything in Spottedfrog's flattened ears said the words were a lie, one Wolfblossom couldn't blame her for. It was a cruel and twisted fate, all they could do was react to it and move forward.

"Then Skyclan honors you and all the service you have given us. I call upon Starclan to give you moons of peace and rest." Wolfblossom finished the ceremony, leaping from the tallbranch. To Spottedfrog she offered a polite dip of her head. There was more she wanted to say... But Wolfblossom hesitated. She wasn't exactly close to Spottedfrog, though she wasn't sure who in the clan really was. After a moment the deputy padded forward and spoke quietly. "I'm sorry things turned out as they did. You deserved the formality as anyone else would have, though I know it probably wasn't appreciated." Stars knew she wouldn't have, were she in that position. Her posture and flattened ears had said it all, even if she had spoken the ceremonial agreement. "Just... Don't think of yourself as a burden - I know how this family tends to think. Elders still have something to offer the clan, even if they can no longer hunt and fight." She wasn't sure Spottedfrog wanted to hear it, least of all from her, but... She ought to know that, still. Offering the elder a tight smile, the deputy turned away.

---

Beechfang silently watched the ceremony unfold. She had known it was inevitable, just as Smokepetal did, just as Spottedfrog did when her leg refused to work. Maybe if she had stepped in earlier, if she hadn't hesitated in bringing down Bloodstrike, there would have been a chance. She hadn't though, and now Skyclan had lost two warriors, not just one. She could feel her half-sister's bitterness from where she sat, and it reminded her of Smokefeather's retirement. Not something done by choice, an ugly but necessary thing. Unfortunate. She had seen far too many retirements due to injury and it was never an easy thing to witness. As the ceremony ended, Beechfang watched as Wolfblossom spoke quietly to Spottedfrog, but did not approach.

Bloodstrike had asked her once, if she planned to retire when her own body started to give out. He had always wanted to go down fighting, she knew. He had gotten that wish with terrible consequence, she thought wearily.