misplaced [c]

Somehow, she had found herself wandering back towards home. The river had embraced her, comforted her, even partially fed her. At least, she assumed as much. The fuzz of her memory was certainly one issue, but it was one that she found herself... oddly comforted by. Not knowing just how she had gotten into the state she currently was had been a bit of a blessing, as the thinning of her already-slim frame had her looking even more hallowed than she had upon leaving Fourtrees. Just how long it had been since she had last stepped her paws into the territory she had pled allegiance to was lost on her (though it could be presumed it had been just over a moon). None of that seemed to matter as she just... moved.

A wanderer. As she always had been, though no purpose now filled her paws.

The tom at the river had managed to unknowingly piece together just enough of the molly to save her from being lost to the depths of being entirely shattered, to allow her just the smallest fragment of self. Permanently indebted to that singular act, the long-haired tortoiseshell hardly had an idea as to how she could even consider repaying that act. Perhaps just the proof of her continued existence would provide enough gratification until a similar life-saving act could be performed. The alliance was a deep-rooted memory, whispering against her mind for just a moment before being lost into the void of nothingness that had otherwise settled.

She didn't know who she was wandering for. The one she had wanted to find... she didn't know if he would even be there. Did he worry? Would he be happy to see her? Undoubtedly, he would be mad at her disappearance. Whatever energy remained from keeping herself moving was now placed in bracing for the angry tongue that would no doubt scorn her for not telling someone about where she had gone, for not coming home sooner. For daring to cause some sort of negative emotion in her family when she had otherwise been such a perfect figure. Perhaps the first time in her life, the night sentry felt herself eclipsed, nervous of the unknown she was facing.

In his careful attempt not to knock her over, it almost was as if the opposite effect was achieved. The miniscule tufts of fur that separated the sibling duo were closed in that moment, and the full impact of her disappearance was felt as all of her weight now pushed against him. She should have been heavier, but she wasn't. That hardly seemed to matter to the feline as she pressed herself closer, her nose burying itself into the soft whisps of his fur as if in some way he would be able to hold all of her together. As if his very presence would be enough to fix the entirety of her shattered soul, because this was her brother. The one who had always gotten her. The one who had always answered her troubles, had always been there for her.

But that wasn't his job. It was much too heavy of a burden to place upon a sibling, and she realized that.

Still... it didn't stop her from continuing to let him in. Just as he asked that question, every part of her seemed to break all over again. Her legs, that had been wandering for what felt like ages, finally gave way. They could no longer support the night-attuned tortoiseshell, giving out as she fell to her paws. Her mind hadn't even truly registered just where she was, nor what he had said, but her heart had.

She wept.

She wept, and wept, and wept.

It felt impossible for there still to be more tears in her. Even moreso given the lack of evidence of any physical harm, aside from the malnourishment she had tainted herself with. "I..." Her voice came out as little more than a choked splinter, and whatever she had wanted to say once more failed to come to the surface. Thrushnose had always been so easy to talk to, so why couldn't she speak now? What was wrong with her? She needed to tell him she was okay. But... that would have been a lie. She was far, far from okay. That much was obvious in the way her entire body shook, the vehement emotion that had once never been even close to showing now on full display. It was far from normal for the calico-pelted molly to show this much emotion, but she couldn't hold it back. Not anymore.

"They... killed him... My friend..." Somehow, she got the words out. Broken phrases, split by sobs that had her tainting her brother's pelt with enough tears he may as well have plunged into the river as she had done upon finding out. She wanted nothing more than to curl at his side, to allow her brother to protect her for once. She was always protecting her siblings, and family. Always, always protecting. The eternal night sentry, never relieved of her duty. Yet for once, she wanted nothing else than to let someone else take over for some time. To hide as she hid her face, as she grieved for her lost friend. As she desperately clung to the last bond that she truly savored.

Even as he asked for his name, she couldn't get it out. Couldn't say it amidst her tears and defeat, because that meant accepting his death as a finale. She was far from ready from accepting that, every piece of her still struggling to come together. It felt more than impossible. What had once been a smooth ink of her shadow-tuned self had splintered into razer sharp edges that clashed with one another, questions of her entire being coming into play that took more of her sanity than she could ever articulate. But here, letting herself exist in the sanctuary of her brother's existence? She could attempt to at lease piece together some of it. Even if it was only one little fragment, it was better than none.

Murkyripple couldn't state her thanks that he dismissed his own questions. Once her heart had poured itself free of her grief, perhaps she could answer. For the time being, her breaths hiccupped between her sobs and mournful cries, the agony of her emotions as she finally had come out of that stilled void slamming into her. "I... I couldn't find you... I went... The river..." She tried her hardest to explain, forced her voice to work through her sobs to tell him where she'd been. It explained why her frame had a bit too strong of a shiver to it, one that didn't just come from the fact she was now weeping. "Lost... I got lost..." Her voice was small, but she explained. In her wandering state of being so detached, it was impossible for her to trek a way home.

But she'd made it. Time passed as she allowed herself to stay in the safety of her brother. The blood-bond that had never been forsaken, or broken. The one thing that she had in this world despite it all. She still hurt at the fact that he hadn't been there when she first needed him, but it had been the gathering. She had been the one to run from him, from the comfort she knew was here. But how could she possibly explain that? Murkyripple couldn't.

When enough tears had now soaked her brother's patterned fur, and she could only take ragged breaths, the warrior finally lifted her head to look at her brother's gaze. "...I don't feel like I'm home, Thrushie..." She admitted. How else could she articulate the way she felt? It was... the best that she got. "You are... but... I don't know if Thunderclan is... anymore..." Sniffling, her ears pinned back. Never had any other cat got to see her look so weak, so vulnerable, so utterly defeated. She didn't know what to do. Did she expect her brother to? No, but somehow... even just saying it helped bring one part of herself back together.