chanson de matin [c]

Pantherkit was... worried. For the past moon or so, he had spent time either in the medicine den or near it. It was almost strange when he thought about the passage of time. His fall had been over a moon ago, but it still felt like yesterday to him. The aftermath of such an event was something that wouldn't disappear as quickly. For a cat to be exposed to such trauma so early was apart of the ruthlessness of life. In truth, Pantherkit would often watch the other kits from the medicine den and wish that he was like them. If only he had another chance. If only the stars were able to reverse time. He wouldn't even give the camp exit a glance if he had the opportunity to relive that day one more time.

There was still another battle that he was facing. Whenever it rained, the camp would be spotted with small puddles for days afterward. Pantherkit always found himself looking at his reflection in the clear water and grimacing at what stared back up at him. He felt as if he was different now. No, he knew he was different now. Even if most of the pain from his head injury had disappeared, there was still something that he couldn't fix. He couldn't smile... not that there was much to smile about, but whenever he tried just for the sake of it, there was no success. He couldn't frown, he couldn't do anything, really. All he found himself able to do was look at himself with the same neutral expression each time. He had grown used to it. He had originally wondered why he had been so unlucky, but now he knew that he couldn't spend the rest of his life dwelling on it. There were more important things to life... although he wasn't sure when he'd be deemed fit enough to experience them.

Today, Pantherkit found himself sitting just outside of the medicine den, watching the rest of the cats milling about like he normally did. Not interacting with the other kits wasn't a choice that he made willingly. It was only because he had practically forgotten how to socialize, and he wasn't quite sure how they'd react if they tried. Was that how his "curse" would carry on for the rest of his life? Perhaps Pantherkit was doomed to be alone. He sighed as he glanced toward the nursery. Wistfulness was a terrible feeling.

Pantherkit was taken aback. None of the other kits had ever just... approached him like this. He wasn't sure how to react. He had no time to say anything before the other tom started to speak. His observations had been right: most kits were a bundle of energy, but Pantherkit wasn't sure how to match such spirit anymore.

"Fun?" The tom asked, not even realizing that he had spoken out of shock.
It seemed as if this kit wanted to play fight, but Pantherkit hadn't play fought in forever. It made him realize that he had been so confident before the incident, so normal, and now he was practically an insecure husk of a kit. He began to wonder if he'd ever be able to assimilate back to "normality", or at least pull himself out of this uncharacteristic self-conscious streak he was experiencing. He'd never know unless he tried, but he decided to slow the pace down only a bit.
"Wait. I don't even know your name. That's what cat's do first, right? They introduce themselves. I'm Pantherkit, and you are?" The tom kit had to listen to his own monotone voice as he spoke, and it made him hope that the kit standing across from him wouldn't misunderstand his intentions and label him as rude. Pantherkit truly was trying.

"A panther is a really big black cat... I think." Pantherkit began. Surely someone had told him what a panther was before, but it had to have been a while ago. He could tell that Marigoldkit still wanted to play fight even if Pantherkit was still nervous about it. Although he supposed that if the tom in front of him hadn't been thrown off by his facial expression, or lackthereof, and his voice, then it would be alright. Had he finally been presented with the opportunity to try and be a normal kit again? He lifted his paw and hesitated for a moment before bounding forward and tackling Marigoldkit. As the two of them rolled over, Pantherkit found his worries beginning to dissipate. He had forgotten how much he missed this.