Rosepaw's Warrior Ceremony

There was one thing that had to be done before Smallbean was to make his journey to the moonstone. It seemed he wouldn't be the only cat receiving a new name. "All cats old enough to run the moors, gather beneath the Tallrock for a clan meeting!" Rosepaw, a cat who'd been a part of Windclan moons ago, been lost, returned, and completed apprentice training, was finally ready to become a warrior. Tired eyes sweeping the area before him, he locked his gaze onto the apprentice, signaling her with a small, almost invisible nod. Hopefully, she got it.

Honeykit peaked out of the nursery. It wasn't her turn yet to become an apprentice, though she wanted to already. Scurrying out past her mother's paws, Honeykit sat to the far side. Close enough to the nursery that her mom didn't scold her for going too far, but the right angle to see everything. Honeykit had to prove that she was going to be a good member of the clan. Even if that meant sitting painfully still during a clan meeting.

Batsong gathered to the call of smallbean. It was interesting as him being lead now.

She had a good guess of what this might be and she smiled happily hopeful that it was what she thought it might be

Not long after Sparrowthorn had journeyed with Rosepaw to the moonstone, Smallbean called the clan together with a subtle nod to signal her. As WindClan gathered, Rosepaw found herself beside friends both old and new. Sootstorm and Batsong looked optimistic and a kitten watched from beside the nursery. Rosepaw gave them each a smile.

Rosepaw took a moment to rise from where she had sat, her joints stiff and bones aching. What was she, an elder? With her injuries as a new apprentice falling into the gorge, she had already suspected she had arrived on the moor with one paw in the elder's den already...

But it hadn't been like this in a while, and it added to her anxiety. She reassured herself, it was just one quick journey. The travelling herbs had worn off on the way back. She had rested too much the day before and let herself get stiff.

She was at least well-groomed, the lop-sided bounce in her step as she took a place near the front of the crowd bouncing the wisps of clean and fluffy rosy fur kind of cheerfully. Her heart pounded as she met Smallbean's gaze, half dreading his announcement but feeling powerless to stop it. Carried along on the winds of time, each heartbeat feeling like a lifetime.

"Rosepaw... Step forward." The apprentice had appeared in the crowd, and so he beckoned her forward. Once she had done so, he took in a deep breath before continuing again. "Do you pledge to honor and defend WindClan... even at the cost of your own life?"

Rosepaw stepped forward into the centre of the gathering beneath the tall rock on unwilling paws. She took a deep breath at the same time as Smallbean did, gathering her courage to interrupt him, "Stop!" before his sentence concluded. Her soft wispy fur wanted to bristle but she kept it down.

"I cannot promise to ever be prepared for more war." Her heart fluttered frantically in her ribcage like a trapped bird. Her deceased friend and mentor had told her sometimes the bravest thing to do was to keep your claws sheathed. But Rosepaw didn't have a choice.

"Even if I believed in the first rule of the warrior code ~ to be prepared to meet the other clans in battle, rather than peace and alliance ~ the humans took my claws." She held up a paw, and instead of claws extending from sheathes, her paws puffed up harmlessly.

She remembered what she had discussed on her journey with Sparrowthorn and in her dream. She had to make the right promise, for the right reasons, or not at all. "I can promise to do no unnecessary harm." It was Rose's promise. If it meant she was not a warrior, that was okay.

Much of the warrior code was noble, but she would not abide by the rules that she believed were not. "I can promise not to hunt or trespass on another clan's territory. I promise to kill prey only to be eaten and to feed kits and elders first. I promise to harm another predator or cat only in self-defence. I can promise to keep the truce between clans on the full moon night of gatherings."

WindClan was ~ perhaps ~ her home. After she had journeyed so long and so far, now she was here, she was less and less certain of it. "If WindClan is my home, I can promise to check the borders. I promise to protect any kit in pain or danger, and I promise to do no less than extend that to all vulnerable cats, of any allegiance." It challenged the xenophobic ideals of the forest. But Rose had thrown all caution to the wind. She had gotten this far, was still standing, still speaking.

Rose was not afraid. It was time to find out if WindClan was her home. "I can respect how kits become apprentices, apprentices become warriors, warriors become deputies, and deputies become leaders." Her chest was almost too tight to take a breath at all, but she steeled herself and forced in a breath.

"But I cannot promise to follow the leader's word above all other reason. The reality is, no one cat is perfect." Rose met the soon-to-be-leader's gaze of orange and green. "I won't promise to do anything you say, Smallbean." It was the truth. A treasonous truth, but the truth.

"No way of life is perfect, either. I do not live the life of a house-cat but nor will I reject it. It may not be as noble, but it is peaceful." Rose had broken apart the warrior code, picked out each rule, and she had no idea if it all fit back together again. But she could only see by looking, if the warriors way of life was a broken ideal.

If it was, she didn't belong here. "It is the life of a kittypet and of a rogue which has shown me what peace there can be. My values will always be a little bit different from yours. So, that is the kind of promise I can make." It would almost be simpler if the leader sent her on her way. Rose found she could not care less what happened next. The wind carried her where it would.

Prompted by a mixture of exhaustion and anxiety, Smallbean narrowed his eyes at Rosepaw's interruption. Annoyance bubbled to his surface. Annoyance that she had interrupted the ceremony, that she had worsened his worries. And only to proclaim that she would not follow the warrior's code.

An exhale. Fur flattening in composure. "I never want war. Nor did I feel prepared when it arrived." The tom eased his posture. "But you must be ready to meet it, should we go to war with another clan. If I cannot trust you to be prepared to defend your clan, how can I deem you a warrior in certainty?" The deputy allowed a pause, gazing down on the apprentice with heavy, tired eyes. "I do not expect you to be prepared. But I will expect you to fight if it comes to it."

"And while there is no perfect cat, what is a clan without something to follow? There must be some direction. " Smallbean doubted himself often, it was no secret to every cat who stood beneath him. But he couldn't help but worry that Rosepaw would go against his word in a moment of dire need. He knew he'd never make a rash decision, that every step would be thought through and confirmed by those around him. But Rosepaw seemed to think her own will outweighed his own. It was a blow to his already small ego, that she seemed to assume already that his decisions as leader would be reckless. But he wasn't in the mood to lay down and take it. "What makes you think that your own decision would be better than that of those far more experienced than yourself? You have no idea what the future holds, Rosepaw. Nor do you know the methods in which decisions would be made. Peace is not always an option, and you must be prepared for that."

"So I will ask once more. Do you pledge to honor and defend Windclan, even at the cost of your own life?"

The soon-to-be leader seemed to have expected to just go through the motions in this ceremony, agitated by anything else.

"You yourself fled from ShadowClan's attack," Rose pointed out calmly. She did not add, leaving two cats to die and another to be captured. And I must be prepared to meet war? she wondered.

"You did little, despite already being one of the three most powerful cats in the clan, to stop the war." He was a small leader, not physically, but in the way that mattered.

"It was not you who stopped the dispute with RiverClan, either." Nor had the deputy fought. Smallbean did not seem like a leader to her.

Come to think of it, had Rose ever seen the soon-to-be-leader hold his ground and fight, literally or metaphorically?

"I do not think my own decisions are the best." No one cat's were. The clans lacked in cooperation, that was the problem.

From Batsong acting alone at the gathering, to Shrikestorm's egotistical decisions, to Smallbean's seemingly cowardly and hypocritical ceremony now.

"What makes you think your decisions are?" she asked him genuinely. She hadn't seen Smallbean make the best decisions. He inspired no confidence in her.

Did she believe he was a bad cat? No, Rose did not believe that of any cat. But did she trust all decisions solely to him? No.

"WindClan's leadership has done nothing to earn my trust or my loyalty." It was the truth. Every cat she had respected when she was a kit had put her home in danger as soon as she returned.

It made more sense to Rose to question Smallbean's protection of the clan. It felt backwards. He should be prepared to fight for what he believed in, otherwise he shouldn't ask her.

"I cannot pledge to honour and defend WindClan when none of the leadership did." It wasn't an answer Rose liked. It was bitter in her mouth. 

Since her kithood, Rose had seen a large number of cats cooperate equally with no leader. She had lived in peace with no possibility of war.

"I believe it is wrong to think you could not always exist without war." Rose thought Smallbean had it twisted. "It is war that should never be an option. Peace is always an option."

It wasn't mature to think ~ or true ~ that the world would always be bad because it must be.

{...wasn't that a self-fulfilling prophecy?}

At the call for a meeting, Brackenwing sat outside the elder's den, gazing up at Smallbean wearily. She would have liked the meeting to be something decent instead of bringing more chaos... Like Owlshade returning to the clan. It was a warrior ceremony, that would be good enough, she supposed.

Rosepaw. Not a cat she was particularly close with, but Whisperear was. She'd been away from Windclan for a long time, but had recently returned. It was good to see it was her time to become a warrior at last, despite everything she'd endured.

So of course, the ceremony did not go as it normally should have. Rosepaw seemed to have her own ideas on the warrior code and the oath to defend her clan with her life. Brackenwing's eyes narrowed, ears flattening in dismay.

Silently the elder listened as Rosepaw picked apart the code, green eyes narrowed in disapproval.

"If you think war should never be an option, you have forgotten the dark forest, Rosepaw. Sometimes it's necessary. Nobody here wants it, I can assure you. Do you think any of us have been fully prepared for every fight in our lives? Sometimes peace isn't an option." The elder shook her head. Perhaps the dark forest was a petty jab, but Brackenwing remembered the sacrifice that had been needed, the blood spilled to return the forest to how it should be. The situation with Shadowclan had been escalated time and time again, of course neither leader would view peace as an option after everything.

As for Smallbean... Yes, the tom was a coward. Brackenwing didn't think she needed to yell at him again, much as she had been tempted to tear his ears off after recent events. Too bad that Sootstorm had prevented her from doing that to the clan's now-former leader. Rosepaw continued after Smallbean spoke up, and a low growl rumbled in Brackenwing's throat. "Coward he might be, but he's right about this, Rosepaw. So many of our problems are caused when cats don't follow the code or their leadership. The whole situation with Shadowclan originally started because nobody followed their leader's law, breaking other parts of the code in the process. Without that code we are no better than rogues. That our leadership cared more about ego and wounded pride was secondary to that." She refused to say the name of the former leader. He wasn't worth even that, now. He'd stepped down, and that was the only grace he would receive from her. "Are we not worth defending because of your disagreement with a code that mostly works to the betterment of the clans, Rosepaw?" Because that's sure what it sounded like, to her. "Is the clan not worth defense because of corrupt leadership that is on the way out? Mistakes were made, I won't disagree with you there. Ask Smallbean and he'll tell my exact thoughts on him and his predecessor. But Smallbean picked a good cat for deputy, one who will help rid of us the stink of corruption in time." She added. She trusted Tigerdance to do what was right for the clan, no matter how difficult.

"You had a point, but I think your point was lost the moment you decided you can't defend your clan over the actions of three." Rosepaw's ranting about Windclan's leadership and the code was one thing, but this? This was too far. If this was what Windclan had to look forward to with making new warriors, they were doomed.

Rose happened to catch a glimpse of Sootstorm's face in the crowd. Had he stayed just to stare at her disappointedly? That hurt, and she turned her single eye away.

...Only to be met with Brackenwing's disapproving glare. If she felt this way, her mate Whisperear was surely soon to follow, since the two were joined at the hip.

Rose didn't want to search out Batsong's face as well and see the comfort there gone. It seemed Rose was on her own now. If no cat understood her, perhaps it was for the best she exposed it. The truth hurt.

"Rather than fight and follow orders, I would want to nurture life," she said quietly. Was that so crazy, so impossible to understand? It was a strange world she had returned to.

If she had not been lost, she might have become a warrior alongside Batsong and Whisperear. If the peace she had returned to had not fallen apart, she might have pledged her life innocently. If she had become a medicine-cat and Batsong's apprentice again, she might have been able to live by her beliefs and never been asked this question. If she had been accepted now for who she was, she might have become a nurturing queen... If, if... If...

If it was not okay to call out corrupt leadership, what hope was there for WindClan's kits, though? 
Sometimes a leader was not a safe cat. She did not know how kits would be safe in a place like this.

Rose was surprised when Brackenwing spoke of the dark forest. What was that...? No, Rose had not forgotten. "I was lost during that time." But it seemed the forest was just as dangerous and monstrous as when Rose had been chased away by literal monsters.

Brackenwing openly called Smallbean a coward. But Rose was quickly confused when Brackenwing argued that problems were caused when cats didn't follow leadership. She argued that the problem of corrupt leadership was secondary to following the oath and the code. And the code said the leader's word was the code.

"Didn't you yourself try to attack the ex-leader?" Rose had seen it. She tipped her head to the side in confusion.

"The word of the clan leader is the warrior code. So how can corrupt leadership be secondary to the code?" She wasn't trying to be argumentative for the sake of arguing. Rose was genuinely trying to figure it out.

Part of her hoped she had misunderstood the forest community, and it would turn out clear and just. But her sinking heart and the rejection told her otherwise.

"Do you think WindClan will be free of corruption in the time Tigerdance is leader? After Smallbean has lived out nine lives?" Um, wasn't that a long time? Leaders could live for years. Wasn't that very little hope to go on? 

Then, how did Rose pledge her life, right now? She looked at Brackenwing in bafflement. She looked around with vision blurred with pain. Her chest felt like it was going to crack. What was there to defend?

"It seems no cat understands, so it my clan?" How was it her clan, if she stood here so alone? It made it sadder. But at least, maybe, it made it easier for everyone. She could only expect to be exiled now. Rose waited for the inevitable dismissal from WindClan.

"Nurture life? That also requires defending it when the need arises." Brackenwing replied dryly. "You weren't here for the dark forest... Right. The camp was a battlefield. We had to fight, there was no choice. Cats sacrificed themselves - not just to bring the stars back and banish the dark forest, but so that we could live. None of us would be here if not for the battles fought that day." Sagepaw, Mistysky, the gray Starclanner that had sacrificed her very being for the clan she'd once been part of... None of them would have been standing in this camp without the blood they had shed. "Our clanmates weren't exactly given a choice when Shadowclan ambushed them either, I'd imagine. Sure, none of us want to fight. But sometimes there is no choice, Rosepaw." Rosepaw reminded her a little of Sootstorm, who had craved peace. Except Sootstorm was not this outspoken or belligerent.

A low snort left the she-cat as her own actions were called into question. "Leader's word means nothing if nobody was actively following the leader, does it?" Brackenwing asked, striped tail twitching. "Trespassing when told not to, picking fights, stealing prey... That was what led to the tension with Shadowclan, a clan we were supposed allies to. A stupid alliance to solve a problem that didn't exist, but that was what we had. Batsong's antics were foolish. Our previous leader refused to step in, and in doing so put the clan in danger. He wasn't worthy of being followed, by that point. Less so when those actions led to a real fight, which you saw the aftermath of just as I did. If Smallbean lets ego and a desire for vengeance, or cowardly 'I'm not the leader' foxdung get in the way of keeping his clan safe again, believe me when I say I will be the first one to call him out." She growled, "But I will not do so before that. I trust his choice in deputy - Tigerdance is a good cat. He wants what's best for the clan and is levelheaded. He was outspoken against the senselessness of our former leadership too. That he was chosen to be deputy shows that Smallbean is at the very least trying to fix things." Late was better than never, though Brackenwing wished that it still wouldn't have taken the events it did to remove one incompetent leader from power. Questioning Tigerdance when he'd barely even been deputy, let alone had a chance to lead, only irritated the elder further with Rosepaw.

Edit 8/10: I just want to reiterate that this is purely in character, and (on my end) there are no hard feelings. I'm only writing Bracken how she would react naturally to the ceremony's progression, and her rebuke doesn't reflect me as her RPer. I do apologize for missing the OOC note in the post above.

OOC: enough, please. rose is exiled and dead. there is no need to yell at her more. it is hurtful.

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Rosepaw's ears rang and she stopped listening as Brackenwing went on and on.

No, she did not understand what had happened with the dark forest.

No, she did not understand the politics that led to the war with ShadowClan.

She was not suited to this life of pettiness and unnecessary violence.
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please just stop with this topic.

Smallbean had opened his mouth to respond, but a voice from the opposite end of the clearing had spoken up, taking the words from his mouth. The last time Brackenwing had raised her voice in his presence, it was to pick him apart. It was a welcome change of pace to hear that, for once, she approved of something he had done. That she agreed with his side. He looked over the backhanded insults, though.

For a few heartbeats, he watched the exchange, brows furrowed the more it went back and forth. Eventually, it eased, Rosepaw being left in silence, refusing to respond to Brackenwing any longer. Silence settled upon the clearing, demanding an end to this meeting. As for today, Rosepaw would not be earning her warrior name. It made Smallbean feel heavy inside, guilty that he didn't feel that she was worthy of being a warrior yet, but he stood his ground.

Smallbean lingered on the Tallrock for just a moment longer. "This meeting is over." The words weren't loud, harsh. They were low, even. With one last look at Rosepaw, then Brackenwing, he parted with the Tallrock.