one step back [c]

Subject: one step back [c] Sun 28 May 2023 - 11:00

Frond had just returned from a hunting patrol. It hadn’t gone badly, but it irked him how easily he forgot the once-familiar terrain. He’d lost a fat blackbird from a poorly-timed misstep that ended with his face in a pile of dead leaves. Ugh. At least his patrolmates hadn’t been watching, and at least he’d managed to catch something- he threw the few mice he’d caught on the fresh-kill pile and stretched.

Right. Time to lay around camp, he supposed. It wasn’t that he minded working- it was that he was never sure what he was supposed to being doing, and he certainly wasn’t going to ask and show just how easily he’d forgotten. If someone called for a patrol, he’d join, but he certainly wasn’t about to form one himself. Were apprentices even allowed to do that? Not that he was quite as inexperienced as the other ‘paws, but he certainly wouldn’t put it past himself to get lost on their own territory.

Subject: Re: one step back [c] Sun 28 May 2023 - 11:26

Mottlestar

“May the stars light our paths.”

It had been good for Mottlestar's heart to see a clanmate rejoin them after so long. Truth be told, the molly herself hadn't recognized Frondpaw upon his return. However, a quick moment of introductions led her memory to being rekindled, and she had easily welcomed him back. Such was the way of being Thunderclan blood. So many of their clanmates had been taken by twolegs she was sure that they all would have already found their ways back home, but Frondpaw's disappearance was still somewhere in her memory she couldn't quite recall if it was during or after the invasion.

Nevertheless, she spotted the tom, making her way over with a polite wave of her tail. "Frondpaw~ How has settling back in gone? Not too troublesome, I hope?" The thought pricked the back of her mind that he would be due to be a warrior soon, but she wanted to make sure he was mentally ready. After all, he'd proven his skills even before his disappearance, and Fawnshine had taken him recently to the moonstone. All that was left was confirmation.

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Murkyriver • Snowvixen • Hollowgrove • Mountainpaw • Loonkit

Subject: Re: one step back [c] Sun 28 May 2023 - 12:16

Mottlestar- Mottlestar’s voice caught Frond’s attention- wait what? She was heading his way, and so the tabby tom politely straightened up, sitting perfectly at attention. He’d spoken to the leader enough times to not be incredibly anxious about the looming prospect of holding a conversation with her, but surely this couldn’t be a normal chat. What was wrong? He- he was reasonably certain he hadn’t done anything to warrant a serious talk, right? He had almost eaten before the elders the other day, true, but he’d remembered in time to take Whitewhisker a mouse or two.

“I’m fine. Thank you for asking, Mottlestar.” The tabby dipped his head in respect, tail-tip flicking. “Is there anything you want me to help with?”

Subject: Re: one step back [c] Sun 28 May 2023 - 12:46

Mottlestar

“May the stars light our paths.”

With his sign of respect, Mottlestar then took it as her cue to lay down. It was a slightly awkward maneuver, given the way that her hind leg now twisted just slightly inwards, but she was getting more graceful with her movements each passing day. Her tortoiseshell fur had grown in to mostly cover the scars that otherwise adorned her shoulders like a pelt, so she at least looked significantly better than she had just a few sunrises ago. "No, you've done plenty. You are allowed moments to rest and just exist, you know." She chuckled softly, her tail dancing with amusement along the earth of camp.

"However, I am curious. Frondpaw, do you feel ready to become a warrior? Or are there any questions on your mind?" She prompted the apprentice politely. The leader wasn't of the mindset of pushing for answers that didn't want to be given, but there were times that she needed to dig for the answers she sought. After all, she wasn't about to lead an apprentice who wasn't ready into the life of a warrior. That was simply cruel, and detrimental to a Clan. It was a crime about as horrendous as making a kit into an apprentice before they were six moons old. It wasn't just the skills that they learned in apprenticehood that were important, but the ability to grow into something more. Frondpaw had quite a story behind him, and she wouldn't have blamed him for wanting more time to adjust. To prepare, without the weight of responsibility and knowledge squarely upon his shoulders.

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Murkyriver • Snowvixen • Hollowgrove • Mountainpaw • Loonkit

Subject: Re: one step back [c] Sun 28 May 2023 - 13:11

Frond’s ears twitched backwards ever so slightly as Mottlestar sat beside him, equal parts nerves at sitting right beside his leader and discomfort at her response. He- well. At least that hopefully meant that she wasn’t about to get onto him for not working hard enough- his only frame of reference was the harsh leaf-bare when the Twolegs had invaded, and looking back, every single warrior had been working their paws raw to keep the Clan fed during that troublesome time. Right. Mottlestar was a bit of a mystery to him- kindly and motherly, yes, but at the same time a cat with the blessing of StarClan on her shoulders.

She what? Frondpaw gently tucked his tail around his paws, thinking. Was this a test? Was he supposed to say no, or yes, or what? He was tired of this- the way Clan life was so full of intricacies he didn’t remember from his time as a kit. Right answer or no, he was determined to speak his mind- gently. He didn’t want to get tossed out of ThunderClan for being rude to his leader.

“It’s been a while,” he admitted, ears flicking back. “I should’ve been a warrior ages ago now… All the apprentices in the den were younger than him- gods, a decent amount of the warriors as well. True, he wasn’t as well-fed as they- his long journey had snapped the strength from his limbs in a way that a few days wouldn’t fix- but he could hunt just as well as any ThunderClanner.

Subject: Re: one step back [c] Sun 28 May 2023 - 13:25

Mottlestar

“May the stars light our paths.”

Mottlestar simply nodded in agreement. "That is why I came to see if you thought you were ready, Frondpaw. Because it has been some time, and I can see it on your face: you know there is more to Clan life than simply hunting." Her voice was polite, non-patronizing in every sense that it could be. It was gentle, because she knew this could be tough waters to tread. She didn't want to offend her clanmate in giving the presumption that she thought he wasn't ready, but at the same time, wanted to know that she supported whatever it was that he felt.

"In my assessment of your skills, you certainly possess what you would need to earn your name. But I wanted to ensure you felt comfortable in the social element of it all, or if you wanted more time to continue to adjust back to this way of life. It's certainly not an overnight change, and I fully understand if you feel you need the time. But: I call you Frondpaw because I truly feel you are once more a Clanmate, and a member of Thunderclan." The tortoiseshell offered her reassurance. Even now, Frondpaw was already a larger cat than the tortoiseshell who outranked him. It was certainly a point of amusement for Mottlestar sometimes, especially when simply walking by her biological children. They all dwarfed her at this point.

Her head tilted to the side as she began to think. Something had prompted an idea in her mind, and all that showed of her internal dialogue was the small flick of an ear that she gave, as if she were brushing away an errant tuft of fur. "I would have no quarrel in giving you your well-earned name, Frondpaw, while also allowing you to keep the company of a senior warrior as you still adjusted. After all, I never expect my new warriors to be able to simply lead a patrol on their own. The only expectation, truly, is that they can make their way around Thunderclan's territory without getting lost, or provoking an unnecessary battle." She chuckled. All it truly came down to was simply being able to have common sense, and not act on the impulse of youth that often struck. Even then, it still seemed to hit in some of Thunderclan's newer ranks.

"I truly leave this choice in your paws, though. You are the only one who understands your feelings, and I respect whichever path you feel most comfortable with." Her pale yellow gaze turned to lock onto Frondpaw's own, and it was a sign of her honesty. This wasn't some test for the tom to undergo: she simply wanted to know whether he felt ready.

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Murkyriver • Snowvixen • Hollowgrove • Mountainpaw • Loonkit

Subject: Re: one step back [c] Sun 28 May 2023 - 13:52

Gods, why was Mottlestar so freaking perceptive.

Frondpaw’s ears flicked backwards and he looked ever-so-slightly to the side as Mottlestar continued, unwilling to meet the tortoiseshell’s gaze. It was a sight that might’ve been comical- the larger tabby seemingly cowed by the small she-cat, if it weren’t for the fact that Mottlestar had an uncanny gift of hitting the nail on the head. Multiple times. Hard.

Why did she know so much? And how? Did StarClan send down visions of ‘how to deal with apprentices 101’? Was this a perk of being a leader, or was it just being a mother? Gods, she struck home. That was a new way of thinking, though- his name being a sign that he belonged, instead of one that he didn’t. The tabby kept quiet during Mottlestar’s speech, tail-tip silently twitching as he thought. He could probably make it around the territory without getting lost (hopefully) and he certainly wasn’t about to go around provoking battles.

…maybe her offer meant more than he cared to admit. That was… kind of her. Truly.

Frondpaw took a moment to compose himself, looking away from Mottlestar’s too-bright yellow gaze. How was he supposed to- how was he supposed to explain that his name didn’t fit him anymore, that he wasn’t the tom that had been born here, that every single time someone called after him all he felt was a flicker of guilty irritation.

“I don’t know, Mottlestar,” he admitted finally, voice trembling ever-so-slightly. “I don’t think being stuck as an apprentice is helping, though. I’d- I’d like to take your offer, if that’s alright. I- yeah.“

There was more weighing on his mind, but it was the dumb feeling that he didn’t belong to his name and his name didn’t belong to him. Maybe if he finally got his warrior name it would go away- cats requested name changes because of forest-shaking events, not because of whatever mess of emotions were stewing in his heart.

Frondpaw looked up, finally meeting Mottlestar’s gaze, and gave her a small smile. “Thanks, Mottlestar. I really- that means a lot to me.”

Subject: Re: one step back [c] Sun 28 May 2023 - 14:08

Mottlestar

“May the stars light our paths.”

The tortoiseshell gave a great dip of her head, a sign of understanding if anything else. "I fully understand, and sometimes, you don't even have to know." The fact that he spoke earnestly with her, about where his heart seemed to lead him, was enough for her. Before she rose to her paws, the smile on her maw widened. "I understand that sometimes, having something else change can help you settle in more. I was in a very similar spot when Minnowfin passed, and I had to take on the name of Mottlestar. No amount of preparation could have made me feel ready, not until I actually took on the name I now have." She explained. It was all with the intent to continue to sooth whatever nerves crawled around like a persistent bug under his pelt, at least to the best of her ability.

"It's no problem at all, truly. If you ever just need to chat - I am more than willing to lend an ear. But come, for now, I think we have a new warrior we need to name, yes?" She smiled, a low purr rumbling in her throat as she rose to her paws to gesture the apprentice towards the highrock.

code by kiiko • edited by kitty

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v e t e r a n . u s e r • f o r m e r . a d m i n
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Murkyriver • Snowvixen • Hollowgrove • Mountainpaw • Loonkit