these eyes will not be blinded by the lights (c)

Perchstar awoke at some early hour of the morning, when the stars were out but the warmth of the day's sunlight still lingered on the ground. All four of her kits were asleep, but she felt no more desire to stay in the overly soft nest and return to her dreams. It had been a long time since she had gotten to sit and look at the night sky. It used to be a pastime of hers... whenever the panic attacks got too much, or sleep escaped her, or she simply wanted a breath of fresh air, she would exit the warrior's den and spend a few minutes beneath Silverpelt. She hadn't done it as much after becoming leader, because nearly every waking moment was so full of work that her few moments to sleep were used only for rest, and any long nights staying awake belonged solely to her worries and stress. She had no clue why she now longed so much to step outside. It hadn't been even close to the list of things she had missed from RiverClan. But either way, Perchstar found herself gently disentangling from her sleeping kits and padding outside into the dark of camp.

It was beautiful. The light breeze was chilly, but the bitter cold of leaf-bare had left for the year, and in its place was a more refreshing coolness, tempered by the remaining warmth of the previous day. Bright lights were scattered across the sky. Nothing like the intensely bright pinks and oranges and yellows of Twolegplace's ocean, but a simple white light that bathed camp. A sliver of moon hung in the sky like a claw, shedding little luminosity but adding a presence among the clouds that felt welcoming.

Perchstar had been flinging herself so wholly into her recovery, her kits, and her duties, that she had hardly a moment to really sit and take in the fact that she was home.

Home.

One breath in. One breath out. What filled her was not just air and the familiar scents of RiverClan, but an almost overwhelming relief.

She was nearly so relieved to finally be home that she almost missed the other cat who was also outside.

Turning in confusion, she met the gaze of Stormdance. How long had he been out here? He could have been here before her, and she wouldn't have noticed. Perhaps he couldn't sleep either, though she was unsure of why. Either way... she realized that it was nice to see him. He was a reliable warrior that she trusted. He had been of invaluable help to Poppyshine while she took on her duties, from what she'd heard. His face had been welcoming when she stumbled exhausted back into camp. "Good evening," she told him, her voice neutral but pleasant. Any confusion was tempered by the fact that she did not particularly mind his company.

Perchstar blinked back at Stormdance, who returned her greeting with a smile. She had been worried that he was awake due to stress or concerns, but he seemed to be doing well enough. Maybe she was the only one who resorted to this place as a refuge when everything was too much. But tonight, she hadn't been overwhelmed by anything but the reminder of where she was. Either way. It was good to see him. Stormdance's words were one of the many that had convinced her to take those final steps onto the grass. She wasn't sure if she would ever find the strength to tell him that... but, given how readily he accepted whenever she had a task for him, perhaps he already knew. She was never quite sure when things were better left unspoken, or whether she was simply too weak to speak them.

"Just taking a break from being in my nest," she responded to his easy query. None of the subdued irritation and unfamiliarity that the nursery made her feel leaked into her voice. She didn't feel any of those emotions right now, after all. Just... relaxed. Peaceful. The sensation was almost alien to her. "It's stifling in there." Her voice, while still calm, was a little bit softer than usual. Perhaps it was because of the memories that this conversation invoked. But this time, the cat across from her was different... and this time, she had not awoken from a terrifying nightmare filled with fox fangs and death screeches. Tonight it hadn't been a nightmare at all. Just a half-echo of a dream. A dream about a sea of orange and pink lights sparkling in the darkness, viewed from above, stretching out as far as the eye could see.

Perchstar's light blue eyes drifted away from Stormdance's gaze, fixing themselves on the sky. It may not have been as garishly bright as the floor-sky in her dream, but Silverpelt did not beam. It glimmered. The same soft white stars were fixed up there, gradually turning as the seasons did. The same stars she had sat under so many times before. The same stars that had comforted her for moons. She wondered if Ashflight and Felix saw the same stars that she did. "I used to come out here a lot when I was deputy," she murmured gently. The words almost drifted from her, dream-like. She was so comfortable with Stormdance's presence she had nearly forgotten about it. "Anytime I couldn't sleep, or the nightmares were too much, or I felt overwhelmed. The stars were always there. And now, an eternity later, they still are. They haven't changed a bit... but I have." Her torn ear flicked as she studied the constellations. "Even in situations like these... the stars remain. It's almost comforting."

A few more moments of silent contemplation. Then, Perchstar remembered that this was supposed to be a conversation. What was she rambling on about, anyway? "Sorry." Slightly abashed, she drew her tail across her paws. "...Are you well? Simply enjoying the stars, or is something on your mind?"