im still here, but all is lost [O]

Silverkit

Takes place in the evening following this topic.

It was dark outside. Silverkit’s narrowed eyes peered through the roof. Had he slept through the day? He tended to wake up at least once throughout the day. Giving his head a shake to clear the surprise, Silverkit stretched his forelegs in front of him, toes splaying and face scrunching. When his paws came to rest at his chest again, he found them laying over someone’s tail instead.

Confusion seized him for a moment, but as some of his tired fog cleared, he remembered: he’d fallen asleep against Meadowlark last night. It’d been surprisingly nice, just curling up to her. Safe. Warm, and– hadn’t he thought that, as he was falling asleep? That he’d been warm at her side. Why was he cold now?

Tipping his head down, he was at least relieved to see, yes, it was Meadowlark’s tail draped around him. The more he shifted about and worked through the last of his early morning haze, the more confused he got. The stir of her breaths that had rocked him to sleep was absent, and the chill he’d just noticed spread.

Startled at the realization, Silverkit immediately squirmed to get to his paws. Meadowlark’s tail drifted aimlessly to the den floor without his body to support it, and she didn’t stir at all to his movements. The dread he’d slept on returned to him with fierceness. Stalking towards her head, Silverkit swallowed and tried to ignore the odd way it lolled to the side, weightless, or how she was staring hollowly ahead, or the stiff way her mouth hung open, or the sickeningly recognizable stench he now noticed clinging to her fur. Pushing all that aside, he stepped forward until he could press the top of his head to hers, once. Then again, when she didn’t respond.

“Meadowlark?” Silverkit mewed, small and hopeful. Not even a twitching whisker. “Meadowlark? It’s evening.” He insisted. Still nothing. His heart sank through his chest. A frantic voice said he knew what this was, but he refused to give up. Rounding to her shoulders, he rose, pressing his paws down on her. “Please, Meadowlark. This isn’t funny.” His demands were getting sharp, the snap barely disguising how frantic he was starting to feel. “Come on. Listen, patrols are being assigned outside. Wake up.” The only way he could get her to move was by shaking her himself.

Defeated, Silverkit dropped suddenly onto his haunches, paws sliding away from Meadowlark as he sat. “Mom?” The word was heavy and foreign on his tongue. Silverkit hated how frail he sounded saying it. If nothing else, he thought that might reward him with a response; it’d been a long time since he’d made that mistake now, but she always had something to say when he did. He could feel his chest starting to heave. His breath stuttered, caught in his lungs. Silverkit’s eyes burned, blurring as tears threatened to fill them, but he ducked his head against his shoulder quickly. It made his nose wrinkle, that he’d spent a week fighting for it then deny any tears, but she’d be mad if she woke up to him like that.

Gracelessly dropping onto his side, Silverkit scooted until he could prop his head against Meadowlark’s back, tail thumping the ground. He didn’t know what to do now. He couldn’t convince himself she was actually– and even if she was, he couldn’t do anything about it. Someone had to have noticed his fighting and begging with her, at least. Selfishly, he hoped it’d be Pineblossom, or that she’d at least be among the cats attracted by his antics. Unwilling to get back on his paws, Silverkit remained curled at his mother’s back, quietly repeating the same pleas.

Pineblossom

Pineblossom was going to be leaving the nursery soon. Burdockroot had said that her body was almost done healing. Any day now, she’ll be able to get out of this wretched nursery and join Forestbreeze back in the warrior’s den. She could be back on warrior duties. Things could feel normal again…

Her eyes opened at the sound of a quivering voice. Her ears perked and her fur bristled, as though she sensed that something was wrong without even taking in her surroundings. Pineblossom lifted her head and turned towards the voice. She saw Silverkit…and then she saw Meadowlark.

Oh no.

She slowly raised to her paws. She watched Silverkit try to rouse her, and speak her name softly, and Pineblossom’s heart broke more and more. She approached him and placed a light paw on his back. “Silverkit,” she murmured. She looked to Meadowlark’s empty gaze and felt her heart in her throat. She leaned down and pressed her nose to Meadowlark’s flank. The cold is what she felt first, and then the lack of breath. She knew the answer without needing a medicine cat, but she knew that Silverkit would need more…he deserved more.

“Silverkit, come with me. Just over here,” she whispered. Using her paw, Pineblossom guided—forced, if needed—Silverkit towards her own nest and away from Meadowlark’s body. She paused at the entrance and called out to any cat closest, “Get a medicine cat, now!” with great urgency in her tone. And then, she sat down beside Silverkit, forcing him to stay in front of her so she shielded Meadowlark from his view. She was not about to leave him. As much as it will hurt to be separated from Meadowlark now, it would be worse to remain there and be told what had happened to his mother.

ShadowClan • Tier 5 • She/Her • 70 | 160 • #6699ff

Credits: code inspiration - 1 2 |  image 1 | image 2 | image 3

Silverkit

The paw at his back made Silverkit jump. He hadn’t heard the approaching pawsteps, and he bristled first at the contact, tense and recoiling– but it was Pineblossom. Just Pineblossom. Even with that revelation, he couldn’t relax. He didn’t like this. Silverkit shifted around to get back on his paws when Pineblossom leaned down to nose at Meadowlark. Her reaction, or lack thereof, bothered him more than the body.

Silverkit meant to resist the pressure steering him away from Meadowlark. He meant to, he thought hard about digging his heels in and swore he’d willed himself into it. But he didn’t really fight; Silverkit moved quietly as Pineblossom steered him away. Her call for help made his expression twist again. “She’s going to get back up, right?” The question was high-pitched and tight. He was scared he already knew the answer. “Pineblossom. Right?” He looked up at her when she settled in front of him. Not being able to see Meadowlark made his breathing come shallow again, chest constricting.

Cats heeded Pineblossom’s call quickly. Someone was shouting emergency, someone else– Rookfire, Silverkit remembered him as part of the council –was hurrying inside the den to address the shouting, the first cat was hurrying off to get the mint and returning in a ruffle, staring fixedly at where Silverkit knew Meadowlark lay. Shock had muted the overwhelming dread and grief he felt, but the sudden commotion brought anger roiling through his chest.

Silverkit had been still beside Pineblossom, despite his desire to move past her. Whether it was the shock that had dulled him or simple obedience, he’d been still– until Dawnkit moved. His eyes immediately snapped towards his rousing denmate, watching carefully as she got to her paws and stepped away, just out of view. Every fur on his body stood on end, muscles tensing.

The sound of her calling Meadowlark’s name sent him jerking forward, moving past Pineblossom like she hadn’t been there at all. Heart pounding, ears ringing, Silverkit was ready to yell. His lip was curling and tongue burning with demands to back away from Meadowlark the closer he moved toward Dawnkit.

And then she was gone.

Silverkit blinked. Tawnyshadow brusquely moved her away from the body and out of the den, and that was it. There was nothing for Silverkit to shout at anymore. He deflated quickly, shoulders and tail drooping. The sight of Meadowlark, however brief, made him turn around quickly. “I don’t understand,” he mumbled. His words were thick with threatening tears, and no matter how deeply he breathed or how hard he tried to keep them at bay, wet tracks rolled down his cheeks– vindicating and treacherous.

“I don’t understand,” Silverkit repeated, moving again to Pineblossom’s side where he slumped against her forelegs. Looking at either of the guests made him bristle again, and he wanted to bark at them for their presence in the den, but he bring himself to. They were helping… or trying to, not that anything could be helped.