Serious Talks [C]

The birds were exceptionally loud this morning on the patrol. The sun was bright, golden and actually felt warm without being uncomfortable. Leaf-bare was in it's final death throes and new-leaf would be arriving soon. Despite all of this, Falconpaw had been far less talkative than normal and had missed nearly all of his catches. His only success had been a sparrow with a bad wing. His tail was low and he stared at his paws a lot. Mostly, he was tired and it was beginning to show. He normally liked looking out across the Great Ridge and would sometimes ask to stop for a quick break to look out over it, but he made no such attempt this morning. He was content to keep walking. He only picked his head up briefly to watch a bright blue bird with a pink belly flutter by over their heads. Some cats dropped into an instinctive crouch, while Falconpaw dully watched it go by without even the slightest attempt to get ready for it to land nearby. The bird fluttered away anyhow, and the patrol was already moving on.

The apprentice wanted nothing more than to go back to camp and make an attempt to get more sleep. At this point he'd even fake getting hurt so that Plumleaf might give him poppy seeds to help him sleep. He'd been warned about that though and was told to never be reliant on such things. It was certainly tempting today though.

Wolfblossom had been watching Falconpaw during their hunting patrol, and it soon became clear that something was very off. The golden apprentice looked exhausted, even more than usual, and Wolfblossom was beginning to wonder if the kinder thing wouldn't have beaen to leave him in camp to get the rest he so obviously needed. Missing catches had only served to annoy some of their fellow warriors, and the missed catches were unusual. And not even attempting to catch a bird that had fluttered off... He was clearly unfocused, and that worried her. He wasn't the bright, eager 'paw he normally was. "I'll talk to him. Give us a moment." She mewed quietly to one of the other warriors on the patrol with them. "I'll catch up with you."

Better to check on him now, she'd decided, but it didn't need to be done with the patrol watching.

"You look exhausted, Falconpaw." She mewed softly, padding to stand beside him. "Are you alright?" He obviously wasn't, but Wolfblossom was unsure of how to approach it. He couldn't continue this way, and she knew that even now his sleep was terrible. Ever since he'd been a kit his sleep had never been restful, resulting in long nights and unintentionally waking up his denmates. It wasn't his fault, but Wolfblossom wished there was something she could do about it that was more proactive than just letting him sleep in or sending him back to Plumleaf for herbs that should not be relied upon.

Falconpaw caught the looks the other warriors gave him after letting the bird go and his ears rotated back a bit. His eyes hardened, having no patience for their opinions today. Wolfblossom muttered something to them and they moved off. Falconpaw's eyes softened and he sighed. He knew he was performing less than stellar. When she asked him if he was okay, he opened his mouth to speak.

I'm fine. It was on the tip of his tongue to say it. He wanted to just move forward and sleep when he got home. However, he closed his mouth and hesitated. He wasn't fine. That much was obvious. The apprentice reclined into a sit and kneaded the ground uncomfortably with his paws.

"My dreams have been... they're getting... bad." It wasn't easy to put coherent thoughts together at the moment either. "They're weird too. I had a dream about Shrikestar before I ever laid eyes on him. We were just walking and talking but it seemed like he didn't like me very much. He called me by my name and everything." Sort of. Of all of the words Shrikestar had said to him, the only one he could make out was "Falcon."

"I'm not a medicine cat so I thought maybe its just a weird coincidence. No one wants to hear about my dreams. Everyone in the apprentice den is annoyed because I keep waking them up. I don't mean to! So sometimes I leave the den and sleep in a tree." But that was beside the point. He rounded his thoughts up back together and continued.

"That wasn't a bad dream though. I... I had a dream just last night too. This one was violent. I was in a weird territory where the ground was wet and squishy. It stank in my dream. Suddenly we were fighting. We, as in, me and a bunch of other cats I've never seen before. We were fighting another group of cats together. There was a calico tom that yowled something... and he sounded so pained and angry. Oh! And a cat that looked like Nightstar was there, but he looked younger and didn't have any scars. I started fighting a dark, patchy she-cat, but I started losing somehow. Another she-cat came to help me and we won together." His nose wrinkled a bit at the thought. "As if I'd ever need help beating a she-cat." He muttered resentfully.

"Anyway, once I woke up... mom I know this sounds crazy but I could still smell blood in my nose. I could taste blood even. It scared me enough that I had to stay awake. So... I'm tired today." His tail thumped on the ground and he blinked slowly, tiredly, despite his irritation. He looked up into Wolfblossom's eyes, wondering if she thought all of this was stupid or silly. He wouldn't blame her. He just wished these dreams would go away.

"The only time I can sleep is when Plumleaf gives me herbs that help me not to dream, but... I can't rely on those can I? It's not safe." He wished they were. He was tired of being tired. He hoped his mother would have something comforting to say. He hoped she would figure out how to get the dreaming to stop.

Falconpaw hesitated before answering, and if Wolfblossom had to guess he was debating telling her he was fine. Which was an obvious lie, but one she understood more than she would ever admit to. She pressed against him for a moment but said nothing, waiting for him to speak.

Eventually the truth came out, and Wolfblossom stayed quiet, listening. Her claws flexed in frustration at her suspicions being proven correct. His dreaming hadn't gotten any better, if anything it had only gotten worse, more vivid... And how strange that he had apparently dreamed of Shrikestar, of all cats. Dreams of battles, just overactive imagination of a potential fight with Shadowclan? Stars knew the clan was headed by foxes at the moment, but she could make less sense of the dreams than Falconpaw could.

"First of all, she-cats can fight perfectly fine." Wolfblossom let out a snort at his last comment, then sighed. "And no, it's not... My mother refused to keep poppy seeds in her den at all when she was a medicine cat and refused to let us have them as kits, actually. Not that we ever needed them but..." Wolfblossom shrugged, "She wouldn't speak on why, and I expect the answer to that question isn't a nice one." There had been a sense of deep fear in her mother's actions, a warning not to push for answers that weren't ready to be heard by a kit, she suspected. Wolfblossom had been smart enough to heed it. Dovefrost hadn't been as hostile to them, and she knew Plumleaf and Fogfeather had both kept them... Giving cats one or two on occasion didn't seem to do any harm that Wolfblossom could tell. "I got the feeling it was overuse that she was afraid of, just one every once in a while isn't going to do much harm to a fully grown cat, I wouldn't think, or Plumleaf wouldn't have them in her den." She shook her head. Herbs weren't her forte, of course, and poppy seeds weren't the issue. Only temporary relief to the problem.

"As for your dreams... Are you certain it was Shrikestar? The cat looked like him and sounded like him..? I thought your reaction to seeing the leaders was... odd." She admitted, "Have you recognized anyone else like that from your dreams?" She was genuinely curious, and worried. Once could be coincidence, after all. Shrikestar's appearance was hardly a noteworthy or unique one. Just a brown tabby with long fur, maybe larger than the average Windclanner, but smaller than most Skyclanners.

"The territory you're describing almost sounds like what little I've seen of Shadowclan from the borders... Stars know they do stink and the area around highpine is nobody's favorite. But why dream of them? Their leadership is brash and rude, but we're not exactly itching for war with them, nor they with us. I'm sure there were battles in the past, and stars know no clan stays peaceful with one another forever but... Hm." Why couldn't the dreams just leave her clanmates alone? Smokestep had told her about one recently too, though it had been very different from what Falconpaw was telling her. "I'm not saying that what you dreamed of was Shadowclan, mind you. But the only real battle you've been in was against those foxes that invaded camp. Predators are nothing like fighting against cats..." Wolfblossom frowned.

"I wish I knew what to tell you, or what to do about it." Wolfblossom sighed. "If your lack of sleep is affecting you this badly and waking up others... And stars know you can't continue like this, either. Nobody can on such little sleep. Not Birdstar, not Plumleaf, not us. I suppose we'll have to work around it for now." She stared ahead in thought. "I've told others to let you sleep in before because you needed the sleep... Do you think sleeping during the day might have an affect on it? The evening and moonhigh patrols are about as fun as dawn patrols, I'll warn you." Sleeping during the day in a mostly empty den would alleviate the annoyance his denmates felt about being accidentally woken up, not that that was Falconpaw's fault. But maybe a change in routine would make a difference?

Falconpaw smiled a little bit and pressed his lips together at her comment about she-cats fighting just fine. Maybe they could, but he'd be pretty embarrassed if he ever lost to one. Maybe if he lost to a giant like Birdstar then that would be one thing. He pushed the thought aside for now and refocused on the issue at paw. He nodded once when she asked if he was sure it was Shrikestar.

"His face I saw very clearly. It was him." Albeit... younger than he was now. Was that really important? Maybe that was dreams just smoothing out everyone's imperfections. "It is weird that Shrikestar sounds wrong. I only learned about his name from Kestrelpaw, which is his daughter that I talked to at the gathering. I didn't say anything to her, just in case, but it was like Shrikestar wasn't his name. Not the -star part at least." He shook his head after he thought about it. It was all nonsense. He shouldn't have brought it up, and he wouldn't have, if it hadn't been bothering him so much.

"Well I hope Starclan isn't trying to warn me of all cats that we're about to have problems with Shadowclan and Windclan. I'm not a medicine cat, I shouldn't have these problems." He was frustrated, that much was obvious. At her question of who else he saw he may have recognized, he shook his head. Nightstar and Shrikestar were the only ones he knew so far. Who were the others?

Then again it might not be accurate. His secret outing with Rosepaw from Thunderclan he'd dreamed about too, but those two cats were nothing alike. The Rosepaw in his dream was a brown tabby and was very timid. The Rosepaw he actually met was brown and white and had an ego to rival even the most prideful of toms. Maybe his dreams didn't really mean anything at all and he had broken the code for no good reason. He definitely wasn't about to tell his mother that though.

"I'll try evening and moonhigh patrols. If it makes a difference I'll let you know." And I'm sure my fellow apprentices would be more than happy to get me out of the den while they sleep. He thought, a little bit hurt, but understanding as well. Another memory hit him and he perked up a bit to tell his mother.

"Since we're on the subject of dreams anyway, mom, I thought I should tell you: When I was a kit, I never really remembered my dreams that well, but one thing has been recurring that I sort of remembered. Maybe I'm supposed to be on night patrol. The one thing I could remember, were the things in the dark around me. Always. Sometimes they were cats, sometimes they were predators all working together, and sometimes... sometimes I couldn't really make out their shapes. Sometimes they looked sort of like cats, but not really, and they always stank of crowfood." He didn't understand it then as a kit, thinking it was just some scary images and a weird smell, but after having come across carcasses before on patrol and left overs from other predators, he realized what the scent was.

The thought made him nervously sheathe and unsheathe his paws into the dirt.

"They're only dreams though. It's probably nothing. Anyway... I change patrol times and see if it helps." Hopefully it would, because he was tired. His clanmates weren't going to like him very much if he kept kicking them awake. He had a feeling a lot of them didn't like him as it was.

"I think not saying anything to his daughter was a wise decision." Wolfblossom nodded, "I don't know Windclan well enough to say how something like that would be taken. We hardly understand what's happening ourselves, and they would even less." It wasn't pleasant to think about, and she would never want her son to be judged for it. Her tail lashed once in frustration.

"I would hope they would keep it to medicine cats, if that were the case. Why put an apprentice who doesn't know the cats involved in the middle of it? It doesn't make sense... Not that their actions ever make sense to most of us. If we're taking these dreams as such." Wolfblossom shook her head. "It's not your fault, either way."

The mention of other dreams, of things working with him in the night... "Huh, that's... I don't know. It can't be pleasant." He'd been holding onto that since he was a kit? And hadn't told her? Not his fault, she reminded herself, but still, the deputy worried for her son. "You could've told me that sooner, you know. I'll always be here for you." She added, "We'll... We'll figure this out. Somehow. These dreams won't last forever." She hoped they wouldn't, for his sake.

"I'll let your mentor know about the schedule change as well, unless you'd feel more comfortable telling Smokestep yourself?"

Falconpaw nodded to his mom, inwardly cringing when he realized it... disturbed her a bit. But they were just dreams. They would stop, like she said. They would go away.

"I don't mind if you tell Smokestep, or if I see her first I'll tell her." He didn't think his mentor would mind anyway. She had been very nice and go with the flow. The talk with his mom didn't chase the dreams away per se, but it did make it easier to share his burdens with someone.

"I'll let you know if I dream of any other cats that turn out to be real. Or anything else you should know. Just uh... maybe don't let everyone in camp know. I don't want everyone asking me about it is all." Or making fun of me. With that off of his chest, he heaved a sigh of relief. Some burdens could become too much to bare alone, he was finding out. At least with some of the weight off of his shoulders, he thought he'd be ready to hunt again.

"Alright, I suppose whichever one of us catches her first." She nodded. Smokestep would be understanding, she knew, his mentor wasn't likely to treat her apprentice any differently.

"All your clanmates need to know is that your lack of sleep isn't your fault. Telling them about the dreams is your decision to make, not mine." Wolfblossom sighed. She had an idea that his denmates were getting annoyed with being woken up in the night which wasn't surprising, but Falconpaw's tone had raised that suspicion. She hoped this would help Falconpaw be able to sleep without feeling guilt over it. "...Nobody has been bothering you because of that, have they?" She asked, ears flattening. She sincerely hoped none of her clanmates would, but if they were she would like to know about it.