to be good for your age [C]

The lost had returned. Relief had sunk into the sand of RiverClan's camp, and it seemed to be thick in the air, as palpable as the stench of blood or the freezing, biting cold of the wind. At first, Perchstar had been among those who allowed the sudden sense of warmth and slight return to normalcy to lull her back into the soft, sinking feeling of security. However, looking at the joyful reunions between friends, family members, and mates had reminded her of her own losses. It didn't help that Larkkit's recent intrusion had brought previously repressed memories back to the forefront of her mind, making them more difficult to dismiss. It was unlike her to feel any sort of jealousy. It must have been one of those stars-cursed transplanted emotions from her lives again. But which? She couldn't place what it was stemming from. Instead, she tried her best not to become withdrawn, but found herself spending slightly more time in her den, staring at the empty nest whose only inhabitant was a layer of dust she couldn't bring herself to touch. It wasn't as if she was needed for more patrols, anyway, now that the warriors and apprentices had mostly returned.

And speaking of returned apprentices... Perchstar was surprised to see the very warrior-sized form of Rowanpaw slinking shadowlike outside the reedy entrance of her den. What could he have to discuss? Perhaps his long-delayed warrior ceremony, postponed even further by his abduction. It had certainly been quite a while since his injuries and less-than-ideal escapades. "You may," she answered simply, allowing him to come into the small, private space. It was immaculate, mostly--one sparse nest tucked in by the reed walls, surrounded by a small assortment of objects--a rock, a leaf, feathers--that were now half-hidden due to a recent encroachment into her privacy. The only out-of-place item to any wandering eyes would be the dust-buried nest in the far corner. One could be forgiven for believing it was simply part of the floor.

Rowanpaw looked different. It was not just the age that had changed him, but there was a change in his eyes. A slightly deeper, but duller, light aching behind them. What had he seen when he was captured by the Twolegs? What experiences had changed him so much... and were all those changes for the better? He had needed to grow up, it was true. But she couldn't help but feel a momentary worry that he would have changed too much for Poppyshine to recognize him. "What did you need? If you had come to speak about the possibility of a ceremony, I would have expected Stormdance to accompany you."

Not for his ceremony? What was he here for, then? Perchstar kept her mouth shut, simply nodding as Rowanpaw offered to explain what was on his mind. She settled into a sitting position as he did. It seemed that he planned to be here for a while... whatever this was, it was no small matter. It occurred to her just how different he looked. Though she'd been able to get a glimpse of him as he entered the den, now that they were closer, it was easier to see just how ragged his normally well-kept pelt had become. Moons of being stressed would do that to a cat. There was something deeper about his voice, as well. The last time they'd spoken, on their patrol together, he'd been flippant. Other than when he'd seemed uncomfortable with her authority, he'd been carefree. That didn't seem to be the case anymore. Whatever had brought him to her den at this hour, it was obviously weighing on him heavily.

Rowanpaw's voice was slow, even shaky, as he laid out his tale. Perchstar remained silent and listened until he was through. But when he began by mentioning the fox attack, her ears swiveled forward. There had always seemed to be something off about that whole situation--especially the way the apprentice himself had acted when initially questioned about it--but she had let it go, trusting that whatever the matter was, Stormdance was more than capable of dealing with it. Despite the anxiety that was obviously truncating his every breath, Rowanpaw managed to explain that their cover story had, in fact, been just that. It had been a foolish attempt to sneak out on his own, disregarding the rules that had been put in place for nothing other than the chance to do so. Stormdance had encountered him, and during that argument, the fox had appeared. It made more sense the more she thought about it... especially the uneasy air of Stormdance upon returning so badly wounded. At the time, she had thought it a mere side effect of the injury, and that it had happened in front of his apprentice, no less. But now she knew the real cause.

The way that Rowanpaw was pleading, almost begging for her to refrain from punishing Stormdance, was unlike him. Despite the circumstances, Perchstar felt a moment of pride in Poppyshine for matching mentor and apprentice together. They had clearly grown to care for each other deeply. It was almost touching. Once the apprentice finished speaking, silence hung heavy in the air for a moment as the leader considered what had been said. There were decisions to be made... and it was her job to make them.

"Rowanpaw," Perchstar finally said. "It speaks well of you that you decided to tell me this, for no reason other than to come clean honestly. However, I wish that both you and Stormdance had not been so cautious in treading around me in this matter. Do my Clanmates truly believe that I am so unreasonable as to fear my punishments so greatly?" Though her voice remained calm, the words pierced her deeply even as she said them. Had she truly been so far removed from the lives of those she was sworn to protect that they would avoid telling her the truth, simply out of worry of how she would react? She sighed. "Never mind. Your reasons for doing so in the past are of no consequence--and if the fault lies with me, then so it is. In the meantime, you chose to tell me, and I do appreciate that. Obviously you have your heart in the right place, given how genuinely you entreated me for Stormdance's protection. I am glad that despite the initial animosity between you two, that you have both learned so much from each other. And yet... rules were broken. Rules that could--and did--cause injury to those who broke them. This you know."

Light blue eyes met Rowanpaw's, peering at him carefully. He certainly had changed. What to do? A punishment for a trespass so long forgotten would mean nothing at this point... and even at the time, if they had simply been honest, her punishments would have been light. Perhaps some elder duty for Rowanpaw, but nothing more. Their efforts to protect each other had been misguided, despite coming from a place of affection. But such things didn't matter. Thinking or speaking of "what would have been" was a waste of time.

"Rowanpaw. My punishment for you is this." Perchstar swept her tail imperiously over her paws. She felt the tenseness of the apprentice as he waited, no doubt imagining what she would say next. Then--her face relaxed into a gentler expression. Not a smile, certainly, but what might as well have been one for a cat as stoic as herself. "You must tell Stormdance what you have told me. Tell him that you appreciate his mentorship, and that he has done well to teach you as he has. Statements that I agree with wholeheartedly. Nothing else could fit such a trespass. Doing such will earn forgiveness for the rules that were foolishly broken so many moons ago, for the cause of escaping the very mentor you have grown to adore so much... unless my judgements are incorrect." She blinked at Rowanpaw, and then turned her head away. "...Have you any other questions?"