(OOC: happens right after this topic
https://warriorclancats.forumotion.com/t48653-found-family-c)Batsong sat in her big empty den alone. The words and the feelings that Daisy and Coyotegrin had said to her echoed in her mind.
Coyotegrin and Batsong had never gotten along all that well and it looked like that had carried over to Coyotegrins daughter as well.
Batsong shouldn’t you be in your den preparing for things? Maybe if you were better prepared we would still have birchkits mother and golden paw she had said.
Batsong squeezed her eyes shut and laid her ears back in frustration. The shy med cat clawed at the hard floor of the stone med den.
I tried... I tried so hard to save her but the sickness was too much with her recent kitting... and golden... I never even got a chance to save him he was dead before he even got back she thought silently to herself. She still blamed herself for it just as well. Daisy was right ... maybe if she was a better medicine cat she could have done something to save Birchkit's mother... and maybe she should have kept a better eye on the apprentices, even though she was a medicine cat she was a fully trained warrior before that. If she had gone with golden maybe the confident, tom that everyone loved would still be here today.
She felt so lost, she never had a formal mentor for medicine cat training. She had to pick it up as she went along since their last medicine cat vanished without a trace. It had been hard, she had spent many late nights memorizing herbs what they did how to use them where to find them. All on her own with no guidance from anyone else. (Smallbean was able to help a little here and there from his past experience but that was it)
She had tried so hard to keep everyone safe but she couldn't be in multiple places at once. At the most recent medicine cat gathering, Riverclan had a new medicine cat apprentice, Sandypaw. Batsong wondered if Starclan would ever answer her requests for one too.
She felt so alone, cooped up in this quiet empty place. It didn't bother her too much she was the quiet sort, that didnt like being around others alot anyways...
or is that just what you tell yourself since no one can stand to be around you her self doubt asked her.
Every time someone gets close to you they die... and you have never been able to save them! the self doubt continued.
Her birth parents died from a similar illness when she was a little older than birchkit, her adoptive parents also died, so did her best friend as an apprentice (the first daisypaw) , her apprentice rosepaw, and her kit from when she was a warrior crowpaw. She had no family left here and it felt like Whisper was the only one she was still close with.
Scorchtalon was her lifelong friend and she recently had to tell Shrikestar that he was seeing a shadowclan cat because of the prophecy that she had gotten from starclan... he probably hated her for that... betraying his trust like that.
She had vowed to protect this clan and it felt like she was failing pretty miserably. The clan felt like it was fracturing... drifting apart.
Curling up she rested her head on her paws.
Stars... why was I ever chosen... did starclan just want to make a joke out of me and see me fail? she wondered to herself.
She hadn't meant to fall asleep but the next thing she knew she was dreaming, it was unlike any dream she had before.
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It was from everything she could tell, a starclan dream. She wasn't at the moonstone but the landscape all around her was starry and had that feel to it of calmness.
Before her was the windclan camp. Everything about it looked pretty normal with the exception of a large object growing right in the middle of camp. It was the largest Birchtree she had ever seen. The tree glowed giving off a pure silvery light the same way that starclan cats pelts did.
The tree was blindingly bright but it did not hurt to look at, it was a soft light. As beautiful as the sunrise and it peirced through the darkness all around her.
It was so bright that she could see the roots of the tree through the ground, its roots went from one end of camp to the other, contecting out to all the dens there were, the warrior, apprentice, nursery, elders and ... the medicine den where its largest roots lay.
Looking up at into the sky where the tree pointed upwards there was a colony of bats all resting upside down in the trees many branches. Starclan was certainly one for wild dreams! A strong breeze blew through camp shaking the tree heavily. This awoke the bats and they all fluttered about around her and one flew right at her face startling her with a jump.
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She awoke with a jolt! Pawing at her face where the bat had been moments earlier... nothing but air was now there.
Have you ever had a dream when you wake up you wonder why it was so strange and yet somehow it feels like you have had it before? Like a deja vu? She sat up blinking rapidly. That was very strange... why starclan couldnt just tell her things in non cryptic signals and dreams she would never understand. Like really starclan? How hard would it have been to just send someone over tell me what I need to know and then be done? She rolled her eyes a little annoyed. Whatever, they had their reasons as mysterious as they sometimes were. The quiet med cat went back to sorting herbs and just generally preparing for things. She wouldnt have another case where someone was lost on her watch. She loved everyone in this clan too much to let that happen.
She realized she was very low on Burdock root. There was a big patch of it right outside camp in a dry rocky area. As she stepped out of her den her eyes landed on the spot where in her dream the giant tree grew. Her heart skipped a beat and she blinked. Birchkit was standing right in the center of where the giant birchtree was. Hmm perhaps they were not being so cryptic after all.
Glancing upwards to the sky she raised an eyebrow.
well it IS about time you gave me an apprentice she giggled quietly to herself.
Batsong walked over to the kit in question ... hmm it made sense somewhat... when Honeypaw was hurt earlier, they had been very interested in things. And they had an interesting quest for knowledge about what happened to dead cats...
B-b..birchkit?" she stuttered calling to them.
W-w..would you like to come with me and gather s-s..some Burdock root? Its r-right next to camp s-so y-you would be right b-back Batsong had been allowed to go on herb hunts when she was a kit and so she saw no issue with this since it was literally right there anyways. Hopefully, Birchkit would be interested... she didnt want to force any position of the clan on him but she was pretty sure that he would make a very good apprentice.
Watching from a little distance away was a still very sad and bitter Daisybreeze. Deep down she knew that it wasnt fair to blame the medicine cat for her brothers death but everything flealt so empty in her life and she couldnt help herself but to blame Batsong. She should have done something! Daisypaw thought scratching at the ground.
I should have done something 
