It felt much better to travel at night, Fuzzybelly decided. The poor tom was probably the fluffiest cat in all of ShadowClan. Night in greenleaf was much more tolerable than daytime.
Every night at moonhigh, Fuzzybelly sat under Silverpelt and talked through his feelings. Every medicine cat that ever was lived above him, and all he had to do was talk. He did it when he started as an apprentice, studying his herbs and talking to StarClan while everyone slept.
Sometimes, he would talk about the good. Sometimes, the bad. Sometimes, the anxiety. It all depended.
"I know you hear me, StarClan, and I can never thank you enough for that."
"It's been almost a moon in SkyClan. Where are my Clanmates? Where's Nightstalker or Basilbloom?"
"She's been so sick. So, so sick... I'm worried that she's coming home to Silverpelt and I don't even know it. I'm.... not ready, StarClan. I'm not ready to bury my mentor. I don't even know if she's dead, but if she doesn't have her chamomile... I don't even want to think about it."
"Why the rain, StarClan? Did I do something wrong? Did we do something wrong?"
Fuzzybelly sat under the stars. Light twinkled above him. Even if they had nothing to say back to him, knowing his ancestors were there helped him get through things. Sometimes, though, he wished for answers. He couldn't justify leaving ShadowClan all day to go to the Moonstone, putting even more stress on the young medicine cats of SkyClan.
"I wonder if I should take an apprentice. I feel guilty; if I had taken one earlier, they might have been able to find the others and take care of them. I... I don't know if I'm ready."
"At the same time though, I feel so alone sometimes. The connection of StarClan to ShadowClan rests on my shoulders alone. And, when stars take me home, I can't leave ShadowClan without a medicine cat."
"But... but..."
The tom sighed. It was hard to put into words. He wished he could talk to Basilbloom about this, but she wasn't here... or was she, a new star in Silverpelt, loving him like the rest of StarClan?
Before he could speak again, he heard the distant hooting of an owl. The tom ducked, looking behind him as two owls flew, dodging the branches, weaving in and out of the treetops. They soared towards the moon, disappearing into the sky.
Fuzzybelly sat dumbly, processing what he had seen. "I'll be in the sky too one day, won't I?"
There would always be owls, even when the pair he saw no longer soared the skies. There would always be cats. And ShadowClan too, stars willing.
He just had to fly. Owls didn't ask why they flew, they just did. Cats don't ask why they hunt, love, fight... they just did. He felt like StarClan hovered over him as he stared back into Silverpelt. He didn't have to ask, he just had to do. Heal ShadowClan, carry on what he knew, be the best for them. They deserved that. That was his charge.
"I... I'll do my best. I may never be Basilbloom, but I will always be Fuzzybelly. And ShadowClan needs me and what I know."
A look of fiery determination took over his face. Fuzzybelly had a small smile, nodding as he stared back at Silverpelt. "Thank you, StarClan, for listening to me. May I do what you ask, and stars light my path."
And, just like that, he rose to his paws, starting his walk back to SkyClan's camp. His work was never finished, but what he could do was prepare his Clan and protect their connection to StarClan for generations to come.
