Fallen Honor (OPEN! ThunderClan-wide topic)

Pain. Anger. Shame.

Appledapple was used to the first two emotions, but the third one was wreaking havoc on her psyche. She was used to pain-- any time she got in a skirmish, wounds were of course inevitable. She'd been beaten to unconsciousness many times, and this for sure was not the first. Anger was her constant companion. To a degree that almost scared her, she didn't think there had ever been a day when she wasn't furiously angry at something or someone. However, shame... She'd only felt shame once before, and it had been nowhere near as strong. The one time she had felt ashamed for beating up Pigeonpaw on his own territory and scarring him permanently, she had managed to bury it deeply and pretend she had been justified. But this kind of shame... this hurt. Badly.

She had failed ThunderClan. As good of a fighter as she was, and she had lost. Of course you lost, the tiny smidgen of common sense in her brain yelled at her, you were up against a leader. Not just any leader-- Bloodstar, the freakish SkyClan leader that terrifies every queen and her kits in the forest with tales of his villainy. But the tiny voice couldn't silence her shame... which meant it couldn't silence her anger.

Bloodied scratches coated Appledapple's beautiful calico pelt as she stumbled into camp. When she had come to, only she, Starlingflare, and Waterlily had been there, all lying unconscious and beaten on their own territory. Not our territory anymore. SkyClan stole it from us... those brutes! A fresh wave of rage washed over her, making her grit her teeth, but that was followed by a fresh wave of shame that almost beat her to the ground heavier than the badger-sized leader. I didn't win. I couldn't even go for help. And where was Prickletail?! The last cat left standing when she had fallen, but when she came to, he was nowhere to be found! I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. Fox-hearted coward... Why am I even surprised? He only cares about himself.

Ignoring the shocked murmurs and gasps as she dragged her red-soaked hide into the center of camp, Appledapple sat down with what little sense of dignity she had left. When she spoke, her voice was surprisingly calm. "Get Dovefrost and Minkstar," she demanded, barely keeping a growl out of her tone. Her gray eyes glared into the first cat she saw. "SkyClan has taken the Fallen Oak, and Bloodstar beat our entire patrol into a pulp."

Starlingflare had managed to drag himself into camp shortly after the fight had ended. He could barely keep himself upright, flash backs of losing his eye flickering into his mind repeatedly. He let out a small whimper as the pain in his eye socket flared to life. Thorns... why did this have to happen now? Poppy seeds.. He needed Poppyseeds. Every bit of pain from his lack of eye seemed to radiate all over his body. His wound stung very badly.. How did he expect to beat a leader? Hopefully everyone else wasn't hurting as bad as he was. Flinching when he felt webs being pressed into his wounds, but quickly lapping up the seeds as they were placed in front of him.

--

Dovefrost perked as he heard his name called from the middle of camp. How could he not? He was always listening out for cats who needed him, something he had developed since his mentors death that happened while he was gone. The white tom took a single step out of his den, green eyes widening at the sight of of wounded warriors in his camp. He quickly retreated back into his den rapidly grabbing the herbs he might need, shoving them in a bundle before rushing out to the cats who needed his attention.

He quickly pressed cobwebs to Starlingflare's wounds before dropping Poppyseeds in front of the tom before moving to Appledapple. "They took the Fallen Oak?" He asked her knowing she was a little more aware than Starlingflare was at the moment. He carefully pressed the cobwebs into her wounds trying to stop the bleeding before he would make a poultice to put on their wounds to prevent infection.

When voices came from the centre of camp, a sharp scent tinging the air with them, Minkstar stirred, his ears coming to attention and catching the end of something about "beaten to a pulp" as Dovefrost went past. The alertness turned to full-on dread as the medicine cat hurried back for his herb stores, and with a swift lick of Bat's ear - carefully getting up so he didn't disturb her any more than he had to - he lengthened his stride, eyes seeking the source of the agitation he was sensing.

Oh frogdung. His heart dropped into his paws, and he broke into a lope, eyes panning over the injuries as he came to a stop, mouth opening to catch the scent. Even before he did, the suspicion had already bloomed in the back of his mind, and his gaze flashed as soon as the scent touched his tongue. "SkyClan did this?"

I should've known better.

Sooner rather than later, Dovefrost had begun to tend to her wounds, and her mentor appeared from his den. Appledapple was still tense from the battle, but slowly began to relax, wincing as the cobwebs touched her raw wounds. She nodded at the medicine cat, then turned to face the leader. "We were just on our regular patrol, Minkstar," she said between deep breaths. "Then we found that SkyClan had put their scent on the Fallen Oak. We asked them what they thought they were doing, then we got into a fight-- and Bloodstar was there, himself." The tortoiseshell's lip curled. "I don't know what that mouse-heart was doing on a patrol. Maybe he was waiting for us to show up so he could claim victory. Only StarClan knows. What I know is, they fought us, and we were no match for a leader on our own." I was no match for a leader. I lost. Badly. The warrior attempted again to shake off her shame. She'd deal with it later.

She glanced up to see the leader's reaction, and saw a mix of rage and guilt. Some of the same emotions she felt. "It was me, Starlingflare, Waterlily, and Prickletail," she continued. At the name of her brother, a fresh burst of anger entered her voice. "But when the rest of us woke up, Prickletail was gone. I don't know where he ran off to. Is he here?!"

What in StarClan's name did the squirrel-paws think they were doing? He listened to Apple's account, a fire burning to life in his chest. At the mention of Bloodstar's name, a low growl rumbled in his throat, the tip of his tail lashing once. It looked like they'd deliberately gone for the Fallen Oak, so of course he'd be there in person to make sure no upstart ThunderClanners stepped out of line. The speech the massive fighter had given when he was still deputy echoed in the back of Minkstar's mind, the specifics lost, but the threat he'd given to any who dared oppose him still alive and well.

I don't know why I bothered.

Because he was a foxing pacifist, trying to keep the blood off their paws. Foxing lot of good that had done, hadn't it? Flexing his claws against the ground, he fought to quell the rising tide of anger, guilt, and shame twisting in his gut, taking a deep breath and letting it out quietly. "You did what you could. Bloodstar is the kind of cat who does a border skirmish for dawn sparring."

He let his eyes wander over the rest of the patrol, a trickle of helplessness joining the pit of emotions at the sight - somehow even worse than all the others combined. When she mentioned Prickletail, his eyes narrowed slightly, not finding him among the injured. Anger filled her voice, and he gently reached a paw out to rest on her shoulder in case she surged up to go looking for him, shaking his head. "No, I haven't seen him. He abandoned you?"

Honestly, he wouldn't blame the tom. Facing Bloodstar usually ended in a few more deaths. It was just lucky for them that he seemed to have decided ThunderClan was exempt, this time.

“Ow… ow… ow…” A heavy set of pawsteps sounded from the camp entrance and a certain bedraggled, bloodied, and bad-natured tom limped into camp, his side soaked with scarlet.

It was mostly surface wounds and his limp was pure fabrication, but he was in a bad mood. And happened to arrive just in time to catch the tail end of Minkstar’s words. ”Oh yes, I’m sure I should’ve stayed and fought against an experienced molly and that great hulking brute SkyClan calls a leader at the same time. And no, I didn’t abandon them. I went for camp to get help… you recovered consciousness awfully quickly, didn’t you Appledapple?” A seemingly innocuous question, but it dripped with allegations- hmm maybe you didn’t fight enough and what sort of coward just flops down on the grass for a rest mid-fight?

“Dovefrost?” He muttered with a grimace. Surface wounds or no he’d gotten them scratched up. “I headed through the thicker underbrush to make sure they couldn’t follow me and find our camp… seems you forgot about that part, Appledapple.” He kept his tone deliberately neutral… or should he?

“I didn’t run off to anywhere,” he told the molly firmly. “If anyone’s at fault it’s y- er, Bloodstar.” Not that far, not quite that far. While baiting his sister was one of the most fun things to do (especially in front of the entire Clan and Minkstar) he also preferred to keep his eyes intact.

The tabby tom sat with a grunt, eyes lifted to Minkstar’s in a clear do you want me anymore or can I go rest?