Future Gripped in Uncertainty

Dewlight swallowed hard as she stared up at Willow Branch. The patrols she had sent out to search for Ivystar had returned empty pawed, and as the days had passed with still no sign of the leader, she had sent every single able-bodied cat to scour the territory. There was still no sign of the she-cat that had led them for so many moons. She slowly clambered up to the top of the branch, panicking as she looked down over the camp. This wasn't for her, she hated this. She had agreed to be deputy to help Ivystar, but she still had kits in the nursery, ones she was still recovering from. She wasn't made of the same flesh and bone that it took to be a leader, she lacked the resolve and strength that was needed.... And she knew it. Tradition stated that with Ivystar gone, the deputy was supposed to step up, but... She couldn't. Not yet. Maybe... There was still hope. Ivystar could come through the entrance within the next few heartbeats, and everything would go back to normal. Dewlight would be able to tell her that she didn't have what it took to be a deputy, or to lead a clan... But for now, the clan needed to be informed. "R-River... RiverClan. Gather in... Please gather under Willow Branch." Her yowl was riddled with shakiness and uncertainty, hesitant as she called out to the clan.

The anxiety surrounding RiverClan was palpable. It was one thing right after the other, and with Ivystar's disappearance, things felt especially frail. Cloverheart was sat just outside her den, watching the Clan move throughout camp as she thought about the state of things. If Ivystar didn't return soon... Dewlight would be taking charge of the Clan. The medicine cat's ears lowered at the thought; the poor molly had just had kits. She had no business leading a Clan.

As if on cue, their deputy crossed Cloverheart's field of view, making the leap onto the Willow Branch. With a sigh, she moved closer and craned her neck, trying to catch Dewlight's eye to offer a sympathetic look.

Wisteriabloom had been very on edge recently, just like the rest of her clan. But Ivystar was gone, they had good reason to be nervous. The missing leader was the only on the elder had ever known, something she'd found was fairly rare for others of her rank. Their deputy's shaky voice called out above the normal chatter of camp, calling the silver tabby away from her spot just outside her den. It was a nice spot in the sun, and at this point that was all she could ask for. Her walks had begun to grow even more frequent, until the day after Ivystar had gone missing, and she'd reigned them down again out of fear of what had happened to the she-cat.

Ivystar being out of camp for one reason or another was hardly unusual. Flypaw had always chalked it up to her being a paws-on sort of cat, willing to take care of the day-to-day work alongside her warriors in addition to her other, more leaderly responsibilities. But this absence had stretched on a few too many nights. Ivystar had led RiverClan Flypaw’s whole life and longer, strong and unwavering; she wouldn’t just abandon them…which meant something had to be keeping her from coming back. No other possibility made sense.

Having gotten that far, Flypaw opted not to think about what that something might be, about the possibility that Ivystar might be more than gone. It didn’t matter. Dewlight would become Dewstar and pick a capable deputy—the sooner the better, before word of Ivystar’s disappearance reached SkyClan ears (or any ears, for that matter)—and life in RiverClan would continue on. Maybe today was the day. Dewlight’s voice sounded awfully shaky for a normal ceremony. At the deputy’s call, Flypaw abandoned the minnow they’d been gnawing on to find a space among their Clanmates, their gaze expectant as it settled on Dewlight.

Bearspirit tried his very best to not let his anxiety show. The fear-scent was faint on him, but it was there. Where was Ivystar? Where was the she-cat that was for all intents and purposes, his second mother? He sat below the Willow Branch and looked up at Dewlight. She had been tense too, though he tried his best to not call her out on it. He would only do so so that she could lean on him for comfort. Was she about to be the next leader of Riverclan? Did that mean Ivystar had... died?

Turtlefur had a seed of anxiety in his chest, sprouting deep roots into his lungs and stomach and making him feel queasy at the thought of Ivystar not returning. Leaders didn’t go missing. But leaders didn’t let themselves die alone on their last life, either. If she’d been so short on lives, surely she wouldn’t have left camp alone? But it wasn’t just that she left. It was that she wasn’t anywhere at all! Her scent died after wading through the streams around camp. There was no trace of her anywhere after that.

He took a seat next to Cloverheart with his short tail lashing. Amber eyes stared up at Dewlight with dismay. He trusted her, but it was a horrible situation, especially since she was a new mother and had only spent a few days as deputy. “Stars preserve us,” He lamented, not loud enough to draw undue attention yet with strong feeling.

The clan had gathered beneath her, one by one, and Dewlight's heart raced with the knowledge of what she was about to say. Gathering what little courage she had, relying largely on her resolve to hold true to her oath of doing the best she could for her clan, she called the meeting to a start. "As.. As I'm sure all of you, if not most of you, have realized... Ivystar is missing. She has not returned to camp for several days, and there has been no trace of her in all of the patrols we have sent out to look for her. As much... As much as I hate to do this, I believe it is time... for us to presume the worst. Cloverheart." She picked the medicine cat out of the crowd of cats beneath her, looking at her nervously. "I want you to take as many cats as you think you may need and scour every tail length of the river. The currents are unpredictable this time of year, she may be lost to us forever. If she's not, though, and wounded, your expertise will be needed. Take enough warriors to protect you, and rescue Ivystar should it be needed. I want you to leave as soon as possible, but stop when the sun begins to set over the horizon to get back to camp. We don't want to lose any more cats." She mewed, giving her a small nod before looking back over the clan as a whole.

"Under ordinary circumstance, it would fall to me to journey to Highstones and receive my lives should Ivystar not return. However.... I took an oath, when I became a warrior and when I accepted the position of deputies only a few sunrises ago, that I would do what was best for the clan. With that in mind... I want to let you all know that I can't. I don't... I don't have what it takes to be a leader. As much as I would love to serve you all that way, I simply can't. I have kits in the nursery I'm still recovering from, and I don't have the strength, courage, or will to put on an act that I would never be able to keep up. I'm sorry, truly I am. With that said... I will continue to arrange patrols, and perform ceremonies for the time being. My hope is that StarClan will give us a sign, some kind of signal as to where to go from here. If the full moon nears and we haven't gotten a sign, then we can all meet again and choose our own new leader ourselves." She mewed, her voice shaking. She just wanted to go back to the nursery, to curl around her kits and rest. "That is all, for now. Please, if there is anything you need, let me know, I will continue to serve the clan to the best of my ability. But I didn't want to mislead any of you. I know that things seem uncertain now.... And I can't promise when we will get any kind of answer... But what I can promise is that RiverClan will rise to the challenge and prevail." She mewed, her voice strengthening slightly with the final words. That was the one thing she was certain of, that RiverClan would be just fine... Eventually.

Bearspirit listened to Dewlight's words and a shadow fell across his heart. He lowered his eyes to the forest floor and remained silent. Don't do this to me again... He sent a silent plea to literally anything that might hear him and listen. Please... not again... Once Dewlight had finished her announcement, he looked back up at her.

"I would like to go with Cloverheart. Ivystar was the mother figure I had when I lost my real mom. If she's injured, I'm strong enough to help carry her."

He looked over at Cloverheart, hoping the medicine cat would just agree to let him come along. He was disappointed that Dewlight didn't want to be the next leader, but he also understood her reasonings. He would respect her decision and not question it further. Whatever happened, happened. He too wanted to go see his kits, but he had a job to do. He'd have to see them later.

Turtlefur's presence drew Cloverheart's attention, and she offered him a slow, sympathetic blink as he settled beside her. "It'll be okay," she mewed slowly, but there was hesitation in her words. It felt like nothing had been okay for seasons– would things really get better after this? Was Ivystar really somewhere waiting to be found?

Dewlight's shaky voice rose again, pulling the medicine cat's attention back to the Willow Branch. Cloverheart's tail had started to wave with agitation, lashing around against the ground at the words presume the worst, but all sense of movement stopped at the sound of her name. Gather a patrol? She understood entirely, and she was more than willing to assist in the search for their leader, but... her ears lowered as she twisted to scan the crowd. How was she meant to decide who was good enough? What if they never found Ivystar at all? What if Ivystar was wounded, and there was nothing she could do, or–

We have to presume the worst.

The little she-cat let out a sigh, giving Turtlefur an anxious glance before getting to her paws. "We'll find her, Dewlight," she answered, but her voice wavered with uncertainty. No sooner than she had stood, Bearspirit's voice rose, and she spun to find the marbled tom. Cloverheart's jaws parted, denial right on her tongue– those kits in the nursery were his, too, and how could she forgive herself for taking away their father? –she closed her mouth again, ears flattening as she thought. He was a good and capable warrior, and he made a point about Ivystar being something of a mother... sighing, Cloverheart nodded, turning away from him to look over the Clan once more. "Bearspirit, you– you can come. Turtlefur, you'll be coming too, and... Egretstorm and Swanmist." With that and a shaky breath, she dipped her head and started slowly for the exit to camp.

Turtlefur’s ears drooped as Dewlight spoke. It was unpleasant, but it was the truth, and he was grateful that the she-cat didn’t coat her words with honey. RiverClan needed to step up and do something rather than wait for Ivystar to show up again. She could be in danger, after all, and with that thought he straightened up. If she needed help, she needed cats to take action! He nodded in agreement as the deputy laid out her search plan.

He nodded again when Cloverheart glanced at him, wordlessly encouraging her. She was certainly skilled enough to lead the search party. Turtlefur turned to look at Bearspirit too. She had been like a mother to RiverClan, hadn’t she? No wonder they felt so unsafe without her. Now it was their turn to protect her. With that thought in mind, Turtlefur meowed a quiet acknowledgment to the medicine cat after she called his name to join the patrol. It was a little unexpected, but he was a strong and experienced swimmer and extra cautious. He wouldn’t let their patrol take undue risks. The patched warrior gave Dewlight a respectful bow of his head and followed right behind Cloverheart.

Ashpaw sat at the very back of the crowd, his long gray coat ungroomed and ragged from wandering the territory and anxious eyes watching as Dewlight scaled the Willow Branch, knowing exactly what she was about to speak about.  He had only been back in RiverClan for a mere few days, he had reunited with Ivystar and Stormbringer and met his little brother Jayshriek, all had been well...until Ivystar vanished.  They couldn't find her anywhere, he had helped search but there was no trace of her...he had never felt such severe anxiety and despair since his days with Asylum.  Even at this moment, sitting and waiting for the inevitable, his breathing was shallow and his heart was racing.  The urge to race back out into the territory and keep looking pulled at him like an eagle's talons in his back, but he resisted.  Dewlight's words came as no surprise, however, when she announced who would be going on the patrol he almost cried aloud.  Wait, take me with you!  His voice however had abandoned him, and all he could do was watch helplessly as they left without him.  He was in a clan of strangers, almost none of the cats he had known in his childhood remained, who was he to insist he go?  Sighing deeply, the sullen tom-cat waited until the patrol was gone until he left camp, heading in the opposite direction.  He would search alone for his mother...his stability, the leader he had dedicated himself to.

If she wasn't there...what would he be?