An Unwelcome Visit

Sootpaw stalked into the medicine den, his face was impassive but his aura buzzed with irritation. He had just dropped off his rabbit on the fresh-kill pile after his mentor had dropped her own two rabbits and his hare, which still had traces of his blood on one of its hind claws.

Glancing around, his heterochromia eyes cold. When he had told his sister he'd only need her if he was injured he didn't mean that he wanted to get injured so soon. Perhaps Starclan was toying with him.

Letting out a puff of exasperated air through his nose he sat just to the side of the entrance, wishing he could just sleep instead of deal with all this nonsense. The apprentice den had been too crowded for him to replace even an iota last night and he was starting to feel those effects now that he had his reserve energy drained by the hunt.

He passively began to clean his fur of the residual blood that crusted it from his messy kill. Glancing over to his injury he noted that the blood had begun to crust over the injury, at least he wasn't leaving a trail of red droplets everywhere.

True to his characteristic silence, he didn't bother calling out for the medicine cat, instead just sitting there silently and waiting. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to go through any more nonsense today. He didn't want to talk to anyone other than giving the necessary info to the one treating him, he wasn't used to talking and the last thing he wanted was a sore throat.

OOC: for continuity this is before Hen’s ceremony lol

Henpaw was sorting herbs, and had just come to the conclusion that they were low on- her thoughts were interrupted by the soft pad of paws just outside of her den. Hmm? Ashfall’s pad was uneven and loud. Daystar’s was light and free, although she’d only heard it a few times. This was soft. Something in the softness seemed annoyed- probably the silence. Henpaw gave a quiet hurrmph and stood, stretching. It didn’t sound serious- serious was loud and pained. Still… if she wasn’t a medicine cat she’d probably eat hare-dung before admitting that something hurt.

The calico took a step outside the den and paused. Hmm. This wasn’t someone she’d expected. She took in the situation at a glance, and with a silent flick of her ear motioned her brother in. “Did Swiftspirit go too far in sparring?” She queried, flicking her tail, beckoning him to sit. “Or…” That didn’t look like weasel-inflicted injuries. ”Did you trip down a tunnel?” Finding a few oak leaves, she started chewing them into a poultice to stop infection. The bleeding looked like it’d stopped, but she wasn’t in a position to deal with infected wounds. After Sootpaw told her what had happened she’d be able to reevaluate.

He glanced at his sibling, noting her unfused demeanour. Good seems his tactic of pushing her away was successful so far. After all, it wouldn't do her well to grow attached to him if he was inevitably going to reach his darker ambitions.

Hopefully, the attitude would carry outside the medicine den as well.

The apprentice followed the medicine cat inside the den, keeping his slightly uneven gait. After all, he didn't want to strain the injury any further than he already had.

He closed his oddly-hued eyes idly, dismissing both speculations. "My first catch was a hare, it put up more of a fight than expected. Clipped me on the side with a kick. Swiftspirit says I could've possibly cracked a rib, I suspect it's just a bruise and a gash." He didn't know how a cracked rib felt, so he could hardly confidently say it was, indeed, just the soreness of the bruise and not the rib.

Of course, it could in fact be a combination of both and be a bruised rib. The tom didn't know that though, he was no medicine cat. The best he could do were basic speculations based on common sense and logic, he had no experience behind it, yet.

After saying his part he sat down, keeping himself still to let her do her work without hassle. He still had common courtesy, after all, even if his words were often barbed the few times he actually spoke.

Keeping silent he observed her work passively, not really taking anything in at the moment. It had been a while since he got a decent sleep. He swore one of those apprentices snored, but he couldn't tell which was the culprit.

He was going to sleep as far away from them as he could tonight.

Henpaw nodded, eying him shrewdly. Soot wasn’t the type to complain about pain, she was sure. Even so, it was hardly likely he’d cracked a rib- that was the sort of thing that had a cat shrieking at every step, no matter how warrior-like he was. The thought brought her father to mind, and she turned away to find some cobwebs. Cobwebs. Yes. She bit her lip with a bit of worry- what if she’d missed something… the calico shook her head abruptly and turned to her brother, sniffing at his side. Hmm… probably just a bruise… even so, she’d add some comfrey to her poultice.

Comfrey added, she put the poultice in place, binding it with cobwebs. She’d worked in silence up until this point, absorbed in her work, but now she took a step back and gazed critically at it- the poultice, not her brother. “How much does it hurt?” She was hoping she wouldn’t have to take some out of her rather low stock of poppy seeds, but if she had to, she would.

“Oh, and Soot? I was wondering if you wanted to go on a hunt sometime, or maybe help me gather herbs? Both, even. If that’s good with you.” She gazed at him with questioning eyes, hiding the uncertainty she felt. It made her feel as though she was tiptoeing around her brother, never knowing what would happen. It sucked. She wanted to feel close to him… she didn’t want to mess it up like she did Timberpaw.

Ashfall limped into the medicine den, her usual exhaustion gracing her features. She never slept well anymore. That was not the reason she had come, however. She had been looking for Sootpaw, and wondered if Henpaw would know where he had been off to. She hadn't found Swiftspirit, and Sootpaw had been absent from camp. It was more than likely they were out training, but maybe Henpaw would know when they had set off. She was served with some luck, however, because upon entering, Sootpaw was right there.

"Ah, just the cat I was looking for. I guess my luck was decent. I've been looking around for you Sootpaw, been meaning to talk to you since your ceremony. Sorry to just barge in Henpaw, just wanted a quick word with your patient here." Ashfall shifted her weight to her good paw, lifting up the bad one. "I've been wanting to talk to you about, well, how are you doing Sootpaw? You, Henpaw, and Timberpaw haven't had it easy. I just wanted to make sure that you were doing okay, and that you knew that you could come to me anytime you needed it." This conversation felt a lot more... forced than it had with Henpaw. Sootpaw just had this sternness about him, an abundance of willpower. He just felt less... fragile than the other two? Not that them crying to her was a bad thing, in fact, it was good to let their emotions out. To finally process everything. It just felt stranger.

The dark tom's nose twitched at the scent of whatever concoction the medicine cat was making, but his expression remained unchanged from its blank state regardless. It seemed his pelt was going to be pungent for a good while after this visit.

His hues shifted back to his supposed sibling as she posed a redundant question, and he idly closed his eyes as he answered. "It's sore." The rather unforthcoming answer came without any hint of feeling that would be associated with its contents.

She spoke up again soon after, and his gaze was revealed once again, narrow and cold. "If you need food we have a prey pile in camp. I will accompany you if you need to restock herbs, but do not assume my actions are some attempt to 'bond'. It is merely assistance expected from warriors and apprentices to be given to the medicine cat." His tail twitched, betraying some negative emotion behind his frigidly burning stare.

"If you seek company and comfort from kin then go ask our weakling brother. For I am hardly a target to expect pointless feelings of warmth from." The sharp words slid off his tongue without any mercy as he stared down his sister, wordlessly telling her to continue the treatment he went there for with an oppressive feeling.

Then someone else arrived, he heard the tell-tale footsteps of a cat with some sort of leg injury or disability.

The coat of the warrior Ashfall soon came into view, and his narrowed gaze became a degree colder, providing a sharp contrast to the flame-like patches on his pelt. Immediately she began talking to him, apparently following up on the dreaded 'conversation' she hauntingly warned about during his ceremony.

How terrible.

Sootpaw remained silent through her words though, agitation sparking in his hues. To distract from the emotion he idly began grooming his blood-crusted claws that still smelt of his victims (The hare and the rabbit). When he finished talking he lowered his one orange-clad paw to the ground. Eyes shut as he responded in a detached tone that echoed with faint irritation.

"It seems this disease of pointless sympathies is far spread." His reddish-orange eye slid open, lidded with dissatisfaction. "I assume you're trying to be vague about what I need you for. Is it our pathetic parents' death you're referencing? My solitude as a phantom in this clan? Both? I do not need to confide in some pointless, deep-rooted troubledness about either. Therefore no, I don't need you for anything." The tom drew a gash in the floor of the den lifting his paw and loosening its tension to allow the soil to fall back to the ground.

"In fact, I much prefer my solitude. It's draining to talk to cats unless it's strictly business. If any of my family needs to be 'comforted' it'd be my two emotional siblings. I suggest focusing on them." He dropped his paw to the ground heavily. His throat was already growing sore from all the pointless drabble.

With that he turned away from the pale feline and her tired face, tail dusting the earth in ire. Honestly, if any of his other clanmates were pitying him like this in secret he might as well live in the tunnels he was so attracted to. The quiet solitude of such an environment was very tempting to him. It'd be the perfect place to keep his focus on his ambitions.

The thought of trying to create ties with his fellow moor-dwellers to gain a standing in the clan drained him. He was much too blunt to create amicable relations, so instead, he decided to focus on being a good little warrior who attacked what he was told to attack and did his duties without complaint. If he was reliable then that should be enough to climb the ranks, no?

There was no point in getting along with anyone further than the responsibilities of a warrior. They were soldiers in the end, not siblings. They served the leader and the deputy first, the rest of the clan came secondary unless told otherwise.

He wasn't about to dance to the expected tune of the romanticized facade everyone put on. If it led him to be a workaholic so be it. He needed to carve out his place in the clan, and his place was not as the pitied son of an unfavored dead cat and a traitor. No, his brother could take that title.

Henpaw stared aghast at Sootpaw, her fur bristling till she resembled a porcupine. Her brain took several moments to process, so it wasn’t until he’d responded to Ashfall that she found her voice again. “Weakling? Weakling? Let me tell you this, Sootpaw, you are not the warrior WindClan will need. You are the weakling if anycat is, a dratted, foxing, kit of a rotting vixen! You don’t have the strength to love your family. You’re nothing more than a pile of hare-dung, you crow-food dirty fish-brain! You’re as much use as a dead fox! Timberpaw’s worth ten of you, you feather-brained dung-face! You jackrabbit-bottomed, fox-hearted sorry excuse for a pile of mousefodder! You-“

She cut off abruptly, her anger simmering down. She was a medicine cat. She couldn’t blow up like that. Not even when somecat insulted Timberpaw… yeah, she needed to talk to him. “You’ve done one good thing today, Sootpaw, and that’s made me realize that I shouldn’t push away my family.” Or else turn out like you was implicit in her tone. She bit her lip… flicked her tail… then apologized in a low voice. “My bad for lashing out like that… please forgive me. I was wrong. Still. Even the strongest of warriors needs something to fight for. If all you fight for is honor, or ambition, or popularity, what will you do at night? What will you do when nocat’s watching? You need ties to WindClan, Sootpaw, and you don’t get those by just working. Listen to me. We’re here for you, and you’re gonna need us. I thought I could make it on my own, and that led to hare-dung. You’ve got family, Sootpaw, don’t be like Tawnyflare and push us away.” She took a deep breath… her first attempt at being the emotional support of the Clan. A sideways glance at Ashfall, just to see how it was going… “You’ve Tawnyflare’s blood in your veins, just like me and Timber. Don’t push us away. Look how that turned out for her? And for me- WindClan needs someone to make me keep my maw shut.” She was tottering on the edge of being vulnerable to him, to opening up her heart and trying to help… please StarClan, please let him see how he needs us.

Ashfall watched, eye narrowed. She was not about to be spoken to like that from an apprentice, she wouldn't let anyone speak to her like that. Though she held her tongue, and allowed Henpaw to speak. She made good points, and kept her own temper from taking over. That was good, Ashfall was proud of her for that much. "Sootpaw-" she meowed sternly, "I understand wanting solitude, and I much prefer it as well, but every cat needs another to lean on. Nobody is strong forever. Do not disrespect your clanmates, I do not care if you have a 'deep-rooted troubledness' or not, I am offering you something, you do not have to take it. I recommend you, at the very least, listen to your sister, if you will not listen to me."

While her face remained stony, Ashfall's tail-tip twitched anxiously. She didn't want to be too hard on Sootpaw, but she would not tolerate behavior like this. It... vaguely reminded her of how analytical some cats could be. She could be logical, sure, it wasn't difficult. Yet being analytical all of the time? Those were the cats who scared her. Did they truly care for others? Would they break if a cat they enjoyed died? Or would they keep it inside. She hoped Sootpaw would take Henpaw's advice, for his sake.

Seems like he had ruffled some fur. That tended to happen when he was forced to talk for too long. His filter became non-existent when he was tired and being pestered. The curses that flew out of the medicine cat's mouth actually gained a reaction from the stony-faced apprentice... and that reaction was a single brow raising in a show of being mildly impressed at her wide vocabulary.

He let her continue her rant before speaking again. His tone was dead."Done?" A small pause followed after that as he listened to Ashfall as well. Then, he continued. "I am not Tawnyflare. Tawnyflare was a coward. I have no intentions of leaving Windclan because this clan is where my ambitions lay. My goal is to escape our parents' shadows, and part of that is to not end up how they did. I will not become a traitor nor a half-eaten corpse, because that would merely end up with me as a carbon copy of them." He huffed.

"I will follow the responsibilities a warrior has. That includes working together as a unit when needed, does it not? But I also have no intention of being dependent on any one cat, because then you are left weakened when that cat leaves you. It's inevitable, either you'll leave them in death or otherwise, or they'll leave you. In the end, everyone is alone." He said those words coldly to his sibling before turning to Ashfall and dipping his head.

"I apologize for the disrespect, but honestly, I loath pity, or, 'sympathy', if you want to reword it. I've gotten far too much of it through kithood and I'd rather not have that continue into apprenticeship and warriorhood. So I snapped when I was perceiving those from you." His words were apologetic, he has no intentions of disrespecting his superiors. It'd be rather counter-productive after all.

The melanistic tom looked back at his sibling. "And like I said, if you want a proper family or kinship with me, I suggest giving up the notion. I'm not warm and fuzzy, my cares only lay in following through with my responsibilities and working towards my goal. Search for your need of companionship with Timberpaw. He seems to have given up on being an accomplished warrior or something of the sort." His tail twitched, words blunt and dismissive.

All that came of their attempts to get him to understand was a bit of an explanation into why he was acting like this. In the end, nothing much changed. There was no touching moment from him, no epiphany, emotional growth, or sudden change of character and personality.

Change in who someone was was very hard to accomplish, habits and behaviours were not so easily broken. Such a thing took time and dedication. The paths of behaviour he had were already carved into his psyche and the paths they wanted were underdeveloped and rarely used. It would be like carving a completely new trail to walk on through a dense undergrowth full of nettles, painful and draining.

The young tom glanced between the two cats before him before fixing his gaze on his sibling. "Have you finished the treatment? Anything else I need to do?" Sootpaw wanted to finish up here. He didn't come to the medicine den to spar with words and conflict with emotions, he came to get treated for his injury. As a result, he was annoyed they had gone so off-course with the topic. It was wasting time he could spend making plans or observing others to figure out what his responsibilities may be in the future. There was much he needed to do, mental gymnastics he needed to perform, strategies he needed to make, and recuperation he needed to finish before his next training session.

He couldn't waste time. There was never enough time, it could cut short for him at any moment, after all.

Henpaw seethed in silence for a moment, fur bristling. She managed to keep her maw shut and not interrupt her brother until he was done. “Oi. Soot. That’s like not breathing because when you’re dead you won’t need to. Whatcha gonna do after you die? Sit around and mope? That ain’t something to aspire to. Ambition don’t make a good leader. You have to care about the cats you lead. Alright, then. Fine. You go split mouse-tail and shred thistledown. You’re coming on a herb patrol with me, someday soon. Maybe someday I’ll get through that head o’ yours.”

That was what being vulnerable got you- scorn. Ptcha. Soot was gonna crumble, eventually, and she guessed she’d better be there for when it happened. She flicked her tail, motioning for him to leave. He’d be fine, he’d got bruises. Ptcha. She felt like walloping him, but had a feeling that’d only prove his points. “Someone’s head’s thicker than a green-leaf hare,” she mumbled to Ashfall. “Whatcha supposed to do with that?” The young medicine cat didn’t quite care if her brother heard. She had a feeling he knew what she was saying, anyways.

Ashfall was pleased to receive an apology from the apprentice, flicking her tail quietly. "Good. Now, if you don't want so much pity, how about you try talking to your sister, instead of automatically assuming she is trying to give you sympathy or pity. You are kin, whether you like it or not. You may as well, at the very least, interact with her. If you'd rather think of it as making allies than friends, try that. You don't need to rely on her, just combine your strengths. Don't use it as a crutch, but rather a tool." She looked on at the apprentice less coldly than before, but she also recognized that there needed to be a lot of work on his attitude towards others.

Henpaw, then mumbling to her, had gotten her attention. "For starters-" Ashfall said, at a normal volume, "Instead of calling your brother thick-headed, maybe try to understand his perspective. I'll leave you both to it. We should talk again soon Sootpaw, you are quite the intriguing cat." With that, she turned on her heel, and limped out of the medicine den. Stars above, Sootpaw was a pawful.

He rose his brow at his sister's comparison. "When I'm dead I'll be dead. So who cares?" Comparison debunked. He'll get enough social interaction without going out of his way for it. It's part of a warrior's job description. He doesn't need meaningful relationships if his social energy is filled up and promptly burnt out by just interacting with his coworkers through their jobs. It's unnecessary.

This whole charade was exhausting. Nothing but trouble. Hopefully, it wouldn't be like this every time he just wants his injuries treated.

"Well call for me to accompany your herb patrol when you want. Do give a bit of warning beforehand though so I can set aside time for it. I am still an apprentice with training to go through." He ignored the insults tied to her statements, including the not-so-subtly whispered ones. He had ears, he wasn't deaf. Troublesome molly.

He glanced at Ashfall "I have no intentions of just cutting off any and all interactions with my kin, inevitably I'll interact with them as an apprentice and warrior. Communication is part of the job, and I already see my clanmates as allies, we are allies after all." His tail twitched. "Which is why I try not to talk unless absolutely necessary. I found that I'm rather blunt compared to a lot of cats, it creates friction, which is counterproductive, as proven here."

The warrior then chided his sibling. Which he didn't react to, insults were never what fired him up, after all, they just rolled off his back. They were lesser conflict starters, immature, and a waste of breath.

He stood, rolling the joints he could to loosen the stiffness. The apprentice then respectfully dipped his head to the senior warrior. "We'll inevitably meet again. We're in the same clan, after all. Hopefully, it'll be under less exasperated circumstances." And with less talking. Drawn-out conversations never ended well with him.

With that, he left the medicine den, wandering off to some corner of the camp to rest after his emotionally and physically exhausting day.

Tch, socializing was more trouble than it was worth.