Where I Belong (c)

"F-flintstar?" A squeaky mew sounded right outside the leader's den. Jasminepaw was shaking with anxiety, but she had to do this. She had to tell him why she'd had to escape a fox. Why she couldn't go back to SkyClan.   "Uhm, s-sorry to bother you so early- er, late?- but it's uhm, it's important." The brown tabby stammered, fumbling over her words. Dawn's light was rising, and she remembered with a sting of regret most ShadowClanners were nighttime hunters. Oh no, I probably woke him up! That certainly didn't help her nerves, and she felt awkward just standing outside Flintstar's den, but until she was invited in, she wouldn't be rude and just walk in.

With luck, Flintstar was known for his inability to sleep. He was resting in his den, eyes closed as he was at least getting some form of rest but his head was buzzing with thoughts and he just wasn't tired enough to actually drift off. His ear twitched at the sound of pawsteps, then a voice - Jasminepaw. Ah, right. He had nearly forgotten about the SkyClan apprentice, she had spent most of her time in the medicine cat's den but she was nearly fully healed which meant it was nearly time to escort her home. He opened his eyes as he lifted his head, giving his body a small shake. "Its fine," he meowed as he glanced at the entrance. "Come in, Jasminepaw. What is it?"

Jasminepaw sighed a breath of relief she hadn't realized she'd been holding when Flintstar permitted her access to enter. "Yes, t-thank you!" She mewed, shuffling in awkwardly. When Flintstar asked her what she needed, her paws scuffed the floor nervously, and she looked down. "Well, uhm, it's just that... Well, I'm not really h-hurt anymore, not much, anyway, and uhm.. t-that means it's almost time for me to g-go back... B-back to SkyClan.."

The tabby hunched her shoulders, fighting the urge to give in, go back to her birth clan, beg forgiveness, and just ignore the dread that brewed inside her at the thought. "I-I can't. I can't go back there, Flintstar. It's.. a long story. I-I didn't want to fight WindClan," she turned a pleading green gaze towards Flintstar, begging him to understand. "Everyone is... S-so quick to try to fight each other- and I hate it! I don't want to hurt other cats.. A-and the WindClan cats kept saying that Dawnhawk changed his fur black.. and th-they didn't know what he looked like, anyways.. S-so I'd made up my mind to leave. I wasn't gonna tell any cat, I was just gonna run away because I don't fit in in SkyClan." As she continued with her story, she grew more and more certain that she wouldn't go back to SkyClan, no matter what.

"B-but then... Bloodstrike tried to give me my warrior name.. A-and I knew that I couldn't make the p-promise to defend SkyClan, because I was an outcast there! I was s-so different... Does that make me a bad cat? So I.. I left, and I was gonna go to fourtrees, b-but then there was a fox.. and I just ran, and, well... You know what happened next." Jasminepaw finished, taking a deep breath.

Looking up, she met the leader's gaze, not feeling the slightest bit confident. "S-so please.. don't bring me back to Wolfstar!"

Flintstar's ears twitched when Jasminepaw suddenly pressed that she couldn't go back to SkyClan, causing the leader to straighten up a bit as she went on about the whole drama with WindClan and Dawnhawk, that she was already planning to run away from SkyClan and...A heavy sigh escaped the leader as he pushed himself to his paws. This...Wasn't what he was good at - he could tell that Jasminepaw was a mess but comforting other cats were... He wished Freckleface was here, or Murkystrike but...No, it was just him. "I see," he huffed as he tried to find the words to form a response. He wasn't sure what to say, other than... "Then you do not need to go back."

He let that sink in for a few heartbeats before he continued on. "My mother had a lax view on things - she was no stranger in taking in runaway from other Clans and passed those...Feelings onto me. If cats cannot be happy where they are, they I see no reason to deny them the chance to find that...Happiness in another Clan. I will not force you back to Wolfstar if you do not desire it. But...A question then, Jasminepaw. Where do you want to go?" he questioned as he titled his head. She had made it clear that she wishes not to fight but they were warriors, fighting would happen sooner or later - even if Flintstar had no desire to fight the other Clans, that surely didn't stop the rogues that attacked his cats and he knew he would have to deal with them with force sooner or later... "Do you wish out of the Clan's life all together or would you want to remain here or even seek refuge in another Clan if they would have you?"

"Where do I w-want to go...?" She mumbled, uncertain. Nobody... Nobody had ever asked her what she'd wanted. What would Ferretshine say? Follow your heart. That's what she'd say, Jasminepaw thought. "I... Don't want to be alone." She mewed, firmly. "I-I've always been alone, even in SkyClan, b-but.... ShadowClan... You're all so..
n-nice. I feel welcomed. Basilpaw was kind to me, Loudpaw, too. And you, and Mistyfalcon. T-that's more than SkyClan has done for me.."

Hope lit up in her heart, a flicker of something foreign to the she-cat, belonging. "I-it's true I don't like fighting... But I o-owe ShadowClan my life, and if f-fighting for a Clan I want to call home will repay that, I-I'll do it." Despite the shaking in her voice, the little tabby held resolute. "Flintstar, if you'll have me, I want to call ShadowClan my home."

Flintstar remained quiet as Jasminepaw struggled to make up her mind, only tilting his head as she seemed to get further along before she finally stated it - she wanted to remain in ShadowClan. "Of course, Jasminepaw," he meowed with a dip of his head. "I will never turn down a cat seeking a place within my Clan - Wolfstar is aware you are here but I will go to SkyClan myself to inform him of your decisions to stay with us if that is fine with you - you will not have to face your Clan until you are ready. As for fighting...I will not ask you do such a thing in ShadowClan's name," he meowed as he gave a little stretch, pushing himself to his full height. "Fight to protect our Clanmates, to protect yourself from the threats that prowl in our marshes - but I will not call upon you in battle another Clan or cat if you do not wish it. There are many ways to serve our Clan and that is all I ask. Not every cat wants to fight, some do not have the patience for hunting - some find their own use outside of even those."

He settled down onto his haunches, swishing at tail in Jasminepaw's direction. "Find your place within ShadowClan and be a productive member - that is all I ask of my cats, Jasminepaw. If you can do that much, then I accept you into ShadowClan with open paws. Speak with Murkystrike, let her know your choice to stay and my permission to do so. You will need a nest in the apprentice's den and somebody to teach you how to navigate our territory - she can arrange that."