Worn out places, worn out faces [c]

Klaus leaped through the tree branches like a squirrel, landing nimbly and nearly completely silently from one tree to another. Maybe this was suicide, coming back to this territory after all that had happened, but the last time he was near a gathering had intrigued him. He dropped off Dawnpaw only to see one of the Great Oaks get struck by lightning. From what he had gathered from the panicked voices when he had come close enough to hear them, Beechface had been in that tree. Had she said something that made Starclan mad? He was curious to know if she was even still alive and if Skyclan was now without a medicine cat. Enough time had passed that if she had lived, she would have recovered for the most part by now.

As the pale tom practically glided from tree to tree, lighting as softly as a sparrow on each branch, a familiar silvery pelt caught his eye. It was too light in color to be Smokefeather, of course, but it did belong to who he was looking for. He flitted smoothly across branches to be nearer to her, maybe slightly above, before he stopped his movement altogether to stare down at her. He wasn't surprised that she wasn't in a tree after that. He might not have been either, had he been in her situation. Klaus glanced around for any signs of other cats on patrol, but he didn't see, hear or scent any. Was his last attack not enough for Skyclan to learn not to be alone in the forest? He may have been more surprised if it wasn't Beechface that he was looking at... and if it weren't for her undeniably identifying coat, he wouldn't be one hundred percent sure it was even her.

"You're definitely a lot uglier than the last time I saw you." He called down to her, his voice strangely holding very little emotion. He dropped down to a thicker looking branch just below him... maybe with some intention of spooking his sister into thinking he was dropping down on her. Nah. Not today at least. "I guess I am too now though, thanks to Wrenspring." A bitter smile tugged up the corners of his lips, but no more than a small amount. He may have had clawmark scars down the outer edges of his eye and even a bit down his neck with a nicked ear to go with it... but at least his eye was still in tact. He would allow Beechface whatever retort she wanted, maybe acknowledge it if he was in the mood for the banter, but then he would get on with the real reason he was here.

Beechface picked her way through the territory slowly, occasionally harvesting the odd herb or two when she came across them. Late greenleaf had brought heat and humidity that was bordering on unbearable, and the medicine cat was of a mind to just turn back towards camp and curl up in her nest. The only thing that stopped her from doing so was the clan's need of herbs, the ever-present responsibility weighing on her shoulders. She swore that a Skyclanner could breathe and somehow injure themselves, and the anxiety churning in her stomach wouldn't let Beechface rest.

A shadow from above, and Beechface instinctively reared back with a hiss, ears flattening as the familiar golden piece of foxdung known as her littermate landed on a branch above. Fur bristling, she glared up at him as he spoke, grief and anger burning in her chest at the mention of Wrenspring. Her shoulders tensed, but Beechface made no move toward him. Even being under a tree branch made her stomach twist.

"You were always ugly, your pelt just matches that, now. At least Wrenspring had more of a chance than a defenseless kit or barely-named apprentice." She snapped. Claws dug into the earth, her tail lashing back and forth. There were no clanmates around that she could tell, and maybe that was karma. Starclan had never punished Dawnhawk, but they'd happily punish her, wouldn't they? All that time spent recovering, and Beechface would die anyways. Dawnhawk would make good on his threat, finally, and she wasn't sure if she cared enough to fight.

"Are you here to finally put me out of my misery, or are you still a selfish bastard?"

She reacted exactly how he suspected she would. Her hissing and spitting was not new, and if she did anything other than that, maybe then he would flinch. The insult about him being ugly brought a mildly offended frown to his face, but not much else. If there was one cat he was used to being insulted by, it was Beechface. Did she have any idea what might happen to him if she complimented him or was nice to him for five minutes? He would probably have a heart attack and die right then and there. Those days were long gone though, as she had no reason to be genuinely kind to him. As a matter of fact, he didn't blame her for the way she reacted.

"I'm still a selfish bastard." He admitted fully and without much in the way of emotion. "I dropped Dawnpaw off at that gathering only to see a tree get struck by lightning. I think that was probably the first time in a long time I feared for someone else's life that wasn't Tornshadow's. Dawnpaw is a good sweet she-cat. I'd hate it if anything bad happened to her." He paused for a moment before his eyes narrowed. "It's not her fault her mother is a cruel snake and named her that. All because she wanted to mock me, I suppose."

Klaus stretched himself casually across the limb, fairly confident that Beechface wasn't about to climb up and get him. If she did... well... he'd kill her then he guessed.

"Anyway I'm not actually here to talk about Dawnpaw. I was actually looking for you, and no, not to put you out of your misery, though that can be arranged if you insist." He stretched his front and back legs out further across the tree branch. "So... what did you do to make Starclan strike you down? Ironic isn't it? You get struck at a gathering, yet I wander free, with only a single mark to show for any of the things I've done.

He had a reason for bringing this up with her, but he wanted more information first.

"Dawnfeather wasn't hurt, physically at least. I'm not sure which of us was worse for her mental health though. She's... Too upbeat for this clan. Innocent. Kit-like, almost. Even more optimistic than Prim ever was. I don't understand how. Nearly gave mom a stroke. She's... trying to be better than she was with Tornshadow, I think. Dawnfeather still scares her, I can't quite put my paw on why, though." Dawnfeather's name, her physical resemblance to Dawnhawk... It was obvious. "Why did you kitnap her? She hadn't even been an apprentice for half a day. You just... Trained her and let her come back?" Beechface didn't understand it.

Lacking any other option, Beechface listened as Dawnhawk spoke, though her fur remained fluffed up and she remained tense. IF he decided to attack her after all, she had little chance of dodging... And with everything that had happened, Beechface... wasn't quite sure she would care enough to try. Their problems with each other were refreshingly simple, it was almost comforting.

She wasn't sure she believed that he'd just come here to ask questions. And yet she might as well answer. Her gaze drifted to the scars curling around her foreleg, a look of disgust crossing her face at the fern-leaf-like pattern.

"Riverclan's medicine cat was being mouthy. Complained that she was attacked while standing in the middle of a battle, and how unfair and cruel Wolfstar was for attacking the poor defenseless medicine cat. Lilacstar was dumb enough to attack me too and paid for it, you won't hear me crying about it to the entire gathering. What else would you expect in a fight?" There were laws about not attacking medicine cats, and those laws were absolutely meaningless. Honor had no place on the battlefield. Dawnhawk had proven it. Bloodstrike had proven it. If someone didn't want to fight, they had no place on the battlefield, and any medicine cat with half a brain knew the risk they took and would be able to defend themselves.

"I jumped into the tree, I figured that would be better than drawing blood at the gathering, and was planning to ignore her when she approached the great rock, actually. Bearpaw decided to attack her instead and I... don't really remember being hit. And Bloodstrike decided to give the brat a warrior name after." Beechface spat bitterly. She'd... pretty much stopped paying attention as soon as the words 'Bearpaw' and 'warrior ceremony' had been spoken. "Though I suppose it was stupid to think he'd punish her anyways. I bust my tail for moons trying to undo the damage Asylum did, and the thanks I get was having to help deliver half-bred mongrels he had with a Shadowclanner. Had clue until he brought her to camp. I think you're the only member of our family that he actually cares about." A humorless laugh escaped her, claws flexing into the dirt. They both knew how Bloodstrike cared for Dawnhawk, but wanting vengeance was more than she'd ever gotten since he'd returned to Skyclan. At least Dawnhawk existed, to Bloodstrike. "That apprentice you killed was one of them. She had wanted to leave for Shadowclan, actually." It had been no real loss, Beechface told herself. Maplepaw hadn't been loyal to Skyclan anyways.

"I can't stand that I agree with you on anything. I bet Starclan is laughing their tails off at that, too."

Klaus gave a short chuckle and a half smirk, but there was hardly any humor behind it. Who was worse for her mental health? Are you seriously questioning that right now? But it wasn't important enough to say out loud. At the medicine cat's question, Klaus shrugged. "I only took her because I didn't want to be followed when I left camp. Blossomstep was still standing when I left and I hadn't realized what I'd done yet. After fighting Wrenspring I wasn't confident I could fight her too, so I took Dawnpaw... I guess she's Dawnfeather now? Anyway, she was completely unbothered by anything she just saw. She woke up and acted like we'd known each other her whole life and was just... happy to be with me. It threw me off, that's for sure. So I trained her how to hunt and a little bit about fighting, some herb knowledge too that I picked up from the Asylum. Even when I dropped her off she was genuinely sad to part ways with me. That's never happened to me before."

There was a bit of a jab in his tone in the last sentence, accusingly at Beechface but the rest of Skyclan as a whole. Tornshadow had been one cat that had cared about him, but who knows where she was now. He noticed her lack of scent around the territory after she had informed him that Skyclan was coming for Windclan. He wouldn't be surprised if she had been banished or left, but how was he supposed to find her?

"Of course Smokefeather is being more kind to Dawnfeather. She's not my kit." His face had wrinkled in disgust. Still, Tornshadow had told him that Beechface had at least tried to be a friend. Maybe that had a lot to do with the fact that he hadn't tried to kill the Skyclan medicine cat yet. It was a smart, strategic move, if he intended to whittle Skyclan down to nothing.

When Beechface willingly gave up so much information, Klaus found himself actually speechless and without much in the way of passive aggressive thought. He gave her his full attention, noting the stress in her voice and... something that he could only (grudgingly and confusedly) describe as a twinge of sympathy. He repositioned his legs on the branch to now be more underneath him, but he made no move to actually stand on the branch.

"I heard him yell at someone. He didn't seem happy... but I guess he got over it quick if he gave her a warrior name. Odd that Wolfstar wasn't the one to do that... unless dad is Bloodstar now?" He wondered about that since he left that gathering. He also figured Wolfstar had skipped the gathering to mourn his mate, once he found out that he'd accidentally killed Blossomstep. "I'm surprised dad would touch a Shadowclanner, with their odd smell and all. Even my standards aren't that low." So Bloodstrike had broken the code too... yet he was fine. Was Starclan really so cruel as to strike down a cat that had been trying to do the right thing and leave everyone else alone who wasn't in alignment with their code? He'd never liked Starclan for this reason. Not to mention the code was stupid in of itself anyway. He blinked at the mention that he was the only cat Bloodstrike cared about. Why? How? Klaus wasn't entirely sure, seeing as he'd just killed yet another of his siblings.

"Why are you still here if you're so under-appreciated? I don't think Starclan is laughing if we're agreeing on something. I daresay that they're probably scared. I've done nothing but send whatever rare prayer I've had to the Dark Forest and they have answered me with good fortune ever since. I've survived things I shouldn't have and I've gotten whatever vengeance I've wanted so far. For the most part at least." Smokefeather was still alive, after all. "Do you think you'd have better luck if you started consorting with them? It's worked out very well for me."

Klaus finally stood on the branch and hopped down from it, confident that no other Skyclan patrol was heading this way for now. There was no threat in his stance or hint of murder in his eye. He made the decision to be on equal ground with his sister for now. Hopefully she was smart enough to not make him regret his decision... though she had a knack for making him regret any sort of pity or kindness he'd ever given her.

"If you left Skyclan I wouldn't come after you. It never was you, as a cat, that I was after." Strategically because she was a medicine cat? Absolutely. But not because Beechface was Beechface. "If they care so little for you, why are you still here?" He asked again, hoping she would give that question some honest thought before she spoke.

"I noticed... I don't know where she gets that from. If it weren't for her looks I'd say she might not be a part of this family at all." Beechface's lips twitched into something that resembled a smile. "Mom and I argued about Tornshadow a lot actually... All she saw in her was you. I think she's finally started regretting that, not that it matters now. She never returned after the gathering before we attacked Windclan. I know Birdsong was worried for her, Blossomstep too." Beechface worried too, though the days after that gathering and the battle had been hectic, to say the least.

Bloodstrike had yelled at someone? "That's news to me... Though Bear...whateverhernameis... did violate the truce. Mouthy Riverclanner was asking for it, I have to admit." She muttered, "Bloodstrike is still deputy, somehow... Wolfstar was... Not okay after losing Blossomstep. He needed time." Nobody had been okay after that. Wolfstar though... It scared Beechface. Not that Dawnhawk needed to know just how bad things were.

"Dad died when your lackeys dragged him out of camp. I don't recognize him at all." Not entirely true, the stubborn idiocy was still there and hadn't changed at all. "I don't understand it, they don't even seem to like each other. She doesn't seem to want to be here at all. I've never seen something so miserable." They deserved each other. Truly.

"Unlike Bloodstrike, I still care about most of my clanmates. Someone has to clean up after all the damage you've caused. Nobody in Skyclan aside from me has been badly injured by anything except you, since leafbare. You've outdone predators and the other clans." Beechface paused, eyeing Dawnhawk warily. She tensed, stepping back with a hiss as he leapt down from his branch, ears flat against her head.

"Starclan lectured me on how I should 'change my perspective' after the battle." She let out a huff, "After everything recently I've definitely changed my perspective of them... Not that I held them in high opinion before, because right now I think they can take their lectures, bird-brained code and judgmental foxdung and shove it where the sun doesn't shine." Maybe they'd strike her down again for saying that. Beechface was past caring. "They only flaunt their power when it's convenient for them. I doubt the dark forest is much better. Praying to any of them seems like a waste of time, honestly."

"Was it really the dark forest that helped you, or dumb luck and our own stupidity?"

Klaus gave Beechface a look that could only be interpreted as "really?" when she hissed at him for coming down. If he wanted to hurt her, she would be hurting. Surely she had to know that. But he didn't interrupt her and just continued to listen. He shrugged, not impressed with himself when she said that he surpassed predators and other clan cats since leafbare. As far as he was concerned, the news was old that common cats and predators couldn't hold a candle to his capabilities.

"I don't know for sure, I suppose. I doubt I'm that lucky but I guess I could be. Skyclan stupidity is more likely. It's no skin off my back if you'd rather not dabble in the divine or... not divine. I'm just saying I've had more luck relying on the Dark Forest than I ever have with Starclan. Maybe they're stronger and you've all been lied to this whole time." He sat, thinking she might chill out more if he did. He was always, however, ready to spring if something happened. There was a silence that passed, at least on his part. Once he finally did speak again, his tail tip twitched uncomfortably.

"Thank you for defending Tornshadow. I know she needed a friend besides Birdpaw when I wasn't allowed back. Though I doubt her name is Birdpaw anymore." Though that was besides the point. He knew Beechface would likely know who he was talking about. "I guess this has a lot to do with the fact that I'm not attacking you right now. It would be smart to get rid of Skyclan's medicine cat... but I..." Great... what words was he looking for? His original idea of what he was going to say wasn't coming out as easy as he would have liked. After a moment of hesitation, he finally swallowed his pride and just spoke. "I owe you at least some sort of civility for that." He hesitated again. A thump on the forest floor with his tail rattled some leaves and he looked to the side before speaking again. "And I know I owe Blossomstep a lot. I really didn't mean to kill her."

"What do the dead care about helping one of the living? They only care about filling their own ranks." Beechface was skeptical that the dark forest would care to help one cat when the cats he kept killing would just wind up in starclan anyways.  Assisting their enemies by bolstering their ranks? Pointless. Not that starclan used their power for good anyways. "It's all foxdung."

"Birdsong." It was impossible to hide the pain, she was gone too, now. She'd learned the truth, and Beechface should have never kept it from her. "And I failed her too." She muttered quietly.

The mention of Blossomstep... Maybe Dawnhawk was genuine, about that much at least. "Grandma was a better cat than all of us." She hadn't deserved to die, "Her body was cold when we got back to camp." Her voice wavered slightly, and the medicine cat stared blankly ahead, hardly aware of Dawnhawk sitting.

"When was the last time we had a civil conversation?" She shook her head, she wasn't even sure it wouldn't still turn violent, she wasn't even sure that she believed this was happening. Maybe the stress had finally gotten to her. "I regret a lot of things, Dawnhawk." She was tired, so tired. "Though I suppose that's too little, too late, isn't it?"

Klaus stared at the ground for a moment, long enough for it to get fuzzy until he blinked so his eyes wouldn't dry out. He was still in shock and in pain over Blossomstep's death. He should never have looked away when he struck her. Maybe she'd be alive still if he had just paid attention to where he was swinging his claws. He caught the name of the warrior that had been Tornshadow's friend, Birdsong, and certainly picked up on the pain in Beechface's voice. His eyes were back on her.

"Failed her... too?" He asked, curious. The last time they had a civil conversation? Klaus snorted. "I went herb hunting with you before the Asylum came. I think that was the last time, but I don't know how much it counts. We didn't speak much, but what little we did was... friendly I suppose." It was her next comment that made him blink, suddenly unsure of what was going on.

"You regret what?" Was there some mild hope fluttering in his chest right now? He squashed it flat, silencing that hopeful voice that Blossomstep must have put in there at some point. "I mean... I definitely regret some things. A lot of things... probably more than you'd guess." But he wasn't about to go into it if she wasn't....

"I-" Beechface began, then shook her head, remembering who she was talking to. Dawnhawk didn't need to know, he wasn't Skyclan and hadn't been for a long time. "It doesn't matter." It wasn't his business.

"I'd almost forgotten about that... It seems like a lifetime ago." Beechface had still been an apprentice, back then. She hadn't ever worried about some rogue group invading, or the camp being ambushed while she was away. Things had seemed simpler, for all that she'd still been reeling from the loss of her mentor and being thrown to the proverbial wolves. "I suppose you saved me from that rogue in twolegplace... Not that I wanted to admit it at the time." She'd been headstrong. Headstrong and an idiot, really.

"What I don't regret might be a shorter list." Beechface let out a huff, tail flicking back and forth. For a moment she could see Wrenspring and Ravenclaw, Shadewing and Birdsong in front of her. Beechface shook her head and sighed. "Trying to keep Tornshadow from the less happy of our clanmates... It made me realize I could've been less of a brat." Would that really have changed things? Beechface wasn't sure it mattered now. "Less antagonistic." Maybe she would've betrayed the clan with a sister like her, too. Dawnhawk was a foxhearted jackrabbit, had always been one, but Beechface had never done a thing to try and be civil, either.

How strange it was that the two of them were having a mostly civil conversation now, after everything that had been done. Beechface could almost think that she'd prefer their usual interactions at this point. They were familiar and this... wasn't.

His eyes narrowed curiously when she began, but stopped herself short. He flicked an ear in a small annoyance, but if she wanted to keep it to herself he didn't really want to drag it out of her. When she brought up the rogue in twoleg place he was actually surprised. He almost didn't even recall what that she-cat looked like at this point. For her to bring it up now of all times wasn't something he was prepared for. He certainly wasn't prepared for... anything else she said afterward.

Klaus opened his mouth, but quickly shut it. How was he supposed to respond to this? It had been so far in the back of his mind at this point that he didn't think they would ever have a conversation like this. Beechface was on the brink of an apology... he wasn't sure he would be able to compute that if she did.

Apparently I just needed to kill a bunch of clanmates and everything is okay now... He thought, dark humor being used as a way to cope with what he was witnessing right now. He knew better than to say it out loud though. Another thing made him wonder just how bad she was being treated that they were actually getting along now. If only she wasn't so stubborn. She could leave and not be a target of his anymore. If she wanted, she could even stay with him and they could start over.

Knock it off Klaus, He mentally scolded himself. That's nothing more than a pipe dream and you know it. His loneliness made him hopeful, which made him vulnerable and stupid. He couldn't afford that.

"It was no big deal." Was about the only response he could come up with about the rogue in twoleg place. He may not have remembered the rogue very well anymore, but what did stand out to him was the overwhelming rage he felt for the first time. He was too furious to care about dying. After he saw his sister go down he completely lost it and the fight after that was a blur. He must have hurt the rogue enough that she had to immediately go nurse her wounds rather than finish both apprentices off. They had both come to and gone home together.

Now all of that rage was all too familiar and directed completely at the clan and family members that he had once defended.

"It would have been nice to not have to fight with you all of the time." He said at first, but there was no malice in his voice. There was no point. Whether her being less antagonistic would have made things different was neither here nor there. "There were times I probably could have used a shoulder to lean on, but Dustpaw was already dead by then and Primroselight was practically tree-sapped together with mom." His ears rotated back just a bit. "It's her fault, not yours. Our bickering was commonplace and I could handle it most days. The rejection from my own parent was... Well, Skyclan stopped feeling like home after awhile, making it pretty easy for the Asylum to convince me to join them." He paused for a minute, not sure how much he really wanted to continue. "Mom had rejected and abandoned me long before I joined the Asylum. It was only afterwards that I had to completely acknowledge it by the way she talked to me. Even when she was beating me when no one else was around, I didn't want to believe it. I'm not looking for sympathy either, I'm just letting you know it's not your fault." There. He told her. He didn't want to, as that made him more vulnerable than he was comfortable with. But maybe this was something Blossomstep would have wanted. A civil, honest conversation between two siblings that had warred with each other probably even in the womb.

"How are you supposed to react when the one cat in your life that is supposed to love you no matter what tells you that she regretted not killing you when you were born? So here I am. These are the decisions I have made because of her words and how she treated me. You've definitely always frustrated me, even been hurtful at times, but you're nothing compared to what she has done." And now he would say no more. He would simply wait, maybe even brace himself for a flurry of hot-tempered words directed at him coming from Beechface. This was generally how she reacted to information that she didn't like, but at least he could say that he tried. Blossomstep would see that he tried.

"No kidding." Beechface muttered. She didn't enjoy fighting. At their core, she and Dawnhawk were two very different cats. Perhaps the one thing they shared was stubbornness... Though at least Beechface had learned to admit she was wrong.

The mention of Dustpaw had her wincing. "I miss her too." And then Dawnhawk promptly ended any feelings of not-wanting-to-tear-his-face-off that Beechface had been experiencing the last several minutes. It had been momentary insanity, to have thought Dawnhawk wasn't so bad. Her tail twitched in irritation, a dull spark of anger flashing in her eyes as he spoke, but for the moment Beechface remained quiet and didn't interrupt.

"You know as well as I do that Prim would've done anything for you. Even when you betrayed us she still tried to see the good in you. She even felt guilty for yelling." There had been no reason to bring up Primroselight's name other than that Dawnhawk was bitter. He'd never been even half the cat that she was.

"Our arguing was commonplace... You brought out the worst in me. I think it was obvious she didn't know how to handle it. Every time she tried, we ignored her and kept on." She still remembered dragging Dawnhawk to the moonstone, and she still remembered his threats after he'd allied himself with Asylum, "But mom still cared about you, mousebrain. She wanted you to be a reasonable tom, she didn't want you dead." She huffed, "And then you went and nearly killed her mate, then dragged him out of camp. And questioned if he was the father of her kits. Even Iniko didn't question it. You killed Featherkit! Would've killed mom and I too! How can you possibly play the victim and act like that was her fault?" Perhaps this wasn't the wisest conversation she could've had, but if he finally snapped and kill her... Maybe she could get a lucky hit in and take him with her.

"I can't say I blame her for regretting having kits, with someone like you for offspring. You still can't admit to any wrongdoing. At least I own my mistakes." She snapped.

It certainly was too good to be true. Beechface was fine right up until he had something negative to say about their dear old sweet mother. He watched her mood completely change in that instant. It only made him want to snuff out Smokefeather's life source that much more. Beechface was nothing more than a loyal dog, brainwashed to never see that Smokefeather was wrong in any situation. He honestly wondered what would happen if Smokefeather finally did die. Would his family find a freedom in their thinking that they otherwise wouldn't have had?

"I've never heard you admit any mistakes until today, and even then it was vague. I could go on and on about how wrong it was of me to kill Featherkit, and I have admitted this before many times, but it would never be enough for you." Klaus's voice had lost some of it's softness, but it was still far from angry like he had been before.

"We were fine until I mentioned mother. Why is that? I told Blossomstep the same story, all of it, and she recognized the monster that Smokefeather was when I told her. Ashstorm knows the truth too. You want to know why dad probably left her? Because of how she treated me. I told him as well. Everyone I have told has taken my side at least on part except for you." It was evidence enough for him that while he certainly had made mistakes, he wasn't alone in this. She could try to provoke him. She would even. It was all she knew how to do. But it wouldn't get to him the way that it used to.

He'd come too far and been through too much for her to get under his skin beyond being just another disappointment. Like this conversation and where it could have gone.

Primroselight isn't the only blind sister I have. He thought somewhat bitterly, but he kept it to himself. There was nothing to gain by provoking Beechface further. He didn't have anything to prove or anything to defend.

"But maybe Smokefeather is all you have left in the world. Maybe you blindly defend her, ignore her vicious actions, like wishing her eldest son was dead and beating him when he was an apprentice and a newly named warrior because she was frustrated with him, because if you lose her you will have nothing. That's what it seemed like when were talking just now. I offer you a sympathetic ear, I try to ease whatever guilt you were feeling about how I turned out... and you do this? I'm a killer and I don't do what you do." His gaze had hardened a tiny bit, but there was about as much irritation in his voice was there was... pity? Is that what he felt? He contemplated it for a moment and he couldn't come up with a better way to describe it.

"You sure got over your realization that you could have been less antagonistic pretty quick." He chuckled a short chuckle, almost more like a bark, but it wasn't borne from amusement. As quickly as his grin had appeared, it was gone. It was replaced by a very serious face and a critical eye.

"You're lost, Beechface. You're lost, you're sad, you're angry and you're confused and I don't think all of it is my doing. I'd wager a lot of it is self-inflicted." He would be quiet and let her respond now, but he was watching her very carefully for how she reacted. If he felt like he was wrong, then he would just go. If not, then maybe he could get more out of her. Maybe something he could use, maybe a reason to spare her again after this conversation ended.

"You're right, an apology will never be enough to make up for Featherkit, or Flowerthorn or Cloudmane-" The clan still didn't know what happened to Flowerthorn... And that had been because of Dawnhawk. Bloodstrike had been held prisoner for months because of Dawnhawk, Flowerthorn was dragged out of camp by Dawnhawk and his lackeys. "Foxfire's still unconscious and Wrenspring-" Her claws dug into the earth. Wrenspring had been the one constant, a solid rock amidst the storm that she'd clung to. Ravenclaw loved him, so did Beechface. Birdsong had always looked up to him. Tears stung her eye and Beechface blinked them away in frustration.

"They never did a thing to deserve what you've done to them. You raised claws against them for what you say mom did. Every fight you had with her was your own fault. You were always the one antagonizing everyone else and being a self-absorbed prick. In what world do so many cats deserve to die for your problems with one cat?" She growled, "If you ever stopped to think, or even cared about anyone else, maybe, just maybe you'd realize how far gone you are. You've already killed her kits and have permanently maimed her. Wasn't that enough? Why are you still here?"

"You say I've never shown remorse except for today, but I've always been able to admit when I'm wrong. You think you were the only one who was lectured, or snapped at, or sparred with? Even now you can't admit to doing anything wrong, you just pin the blame on everyone else."