Misty Nights (Closed)

The night was close to it's end.  All Shadowclan cats would be sleeping peacefully in their dens not too long from now, but Shira was no where near ready to sleep.  It had been just a few days from when the death of her mate happened and with each passing day very little sleep came.  The exhaustion she felt was horrible, but she still could tell that no bit of good sleep could come that day.  She sat at the edge of camp wondering if she should leave camp.  She had followed Flintstar's rules for the most part, besides one day when she really wanted to go hunting and the day when she heard that Foxspark died and ran out without thinking, but it felt like she was trapped in Shadowclan.  She needed someone else to go with her to go anywhere.  Is this how the cats felt when the Asylum was here? She asked herself.

Right now all she did was look out towards the exit.  Her ears picked up the faint sound of pawsteps.  Before the other cat got too close for her liking (as many cats did) she turned to meet his gaze.  She saw Mistyfalcon standing there.  Her eyelids were halfway down her eyes, partly because she hadn't slept much and partly because the sun was beginning to find it's way up the sky and she was starting to not be used to it's light.  Her fur was pretty tangled, but she never actually really cared about that.  Her expression was neutral and unreadable.  Shira looked at the other warrior for an uncomfortable moment of silence.  "Walk with me," she instructed, breaking the silence.  She didn't wait for any sort of answer, instead she just began walking, hoping that Mistyfalcon would follow.

(rolling for rogues)

The member 'Little Ripped' has done the following action : Dices roll

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'Hunting Dice' : 3

Mistyfalcon had spotted Shira gazing towards the camp entrance, and it wasn't difficult to guess where her thoughts were. It had been days since Rookfire had disappeared and rogues had gotten to Foxspark. Mistyfalcon wasn't one for being talkative on a good day, but then he figured that Shira likely wasn't interested in talking much, either. Disheveled fur and dull eyes met his gaze, and Mistyfalcon found himself sympathizing. He was unfortunately familiar with the grief of losing a mate. There was little he could say beyond the fact that it sucked.

It was starting to get late for most Shadowclanners to be up, and Mistyfalcon was no exception, but he said nothing, merely returned her gaze calmly, then padded after her as she made her way out into the territory. If she wanted to talk or vent her frustrations, he'd listen, but Mistyfalcon was hesitant as ever to make the first move in a conversation.

Shira was glad that Mistyfalcon came without question.  They walk quietly for a while.  She enjoyed this, talking wasn't something Shira had been good at.  Fighting was more her style.  Talking seemed like something cats would do when they were completely desperate to find friends.  Still, Shira did feel the need to explain why she demanded he come.  "I needed to get out of that stupid camp," she mumbled with a slight hiss after.  She stayed walking in a straight path to nowhere.  Her eyes were just set in front of her, looking at nothing in particular.

For a while the two walked in silence. Shira was wrapped up in her own emotions and Mistyfalcon had no real with to intrude. His ears twitched at the sounds of the marsh around them, silently scanning their surroundings for signs of rogues or other trouble. For now, there was nothing, but Mistyfalcon wasn't sure he trusted it to stay that way. The rogues had done a number on Shadowclan recently, more-so than the Asylum ever had when it came to racking up a body count. While he didn't know Shira well, or at all really, Mistyfalcon would rather that she not be another number added to that list.

"I understand." He replied quietly, when Shira eventually spoke. He understood better than she probably realized. After Brighteye's death, the last thing he'd wanted to do was stay in camp, and Asylum's rule had made it impossible to slip away for a bit of privacy. With Vea's rogues, Shadowclan was reduced to not being allowed onto their own territory alone once more, for vastly different reasons. Being in camp had felt truly suffocating then, and Mistyfalcon guessed that it felt just as suffocating now, if Shira's brief words were any indication.

If Shira was going to talk, he'd let her. Mistyfalcon wouldn't push the issue. Her grief was her own, and he had no intention of trying to make her talk or offer unsolicited advice in dealing with it. What he could do, however, was listen, if she'd let him.

Shira's ear twitched.  Her tail dragged against the muddy ground.  Thoughts ran through her mind.  Emotions were completely exhausting.  She didn't want them.  She tried to turn her emotions to the two she was most comfortable with: anger and rage.  She tried to be wrapped up into her thoughts more instead of emotions.  Thoughts of how she could honor Foxspark and how she could be more like the better cat he wanted her to be.  Probably the emotions of anger and rage and confusion (as to why emotions exist) weren't the best to trying to be a better cat, but she couldn't get rid of them.

Another long bit of silence followed.  Shira suddenly stopped in the middle of walking and turned towards Mistyfalcon.  "What do you think makes a good Shadowclan warrior, or any good warrior, a good warrior?"  Shira asked.  Her voice sounded irritated, with a hint of sadness to it, but it only really sounded that way because she was too tired to mask it.  Shira knew more of Asylum values still because those were what she was taught in her early life.  But she wanted to be a real clan cat, even if she still didn't feel exactly like one yet, and Mistyfalcon seemed like a good cat to ask considering that she was pretty sure that he had been a Shadowclan warrior for a long time.

For a while Shira didn't speak, and Mistyfalcon was content to let the silence between them stretch on. It wasn't something he found uncomfortable, and it wouldn't be the first time he'd patrolled and hardly said more than a pawful of words to his clanmates.

When Shira finally did speak, Mistyfalcon glanced in her direction curiously. The question wasn't one he'd ever really considered himself, but then, Shira had not been a part of Shadowclan from birth, as he was. He would never know what that experience was like, much less what it would be like to have been stolen and raised to subjugate the very clans that she and Emberleap had belonged to.

"We fight for our clanmates, and the safety of our territory." He said after a moment, "Keeping the fresh kill pile stocked, training apprentices... Nothing that you haven't already been doing, really. You don't seem to have your nose in drama with the other clans, either. You follow Murkystrike and Flintstar without questioning them needlessly. That's enough, I'd say." Mistyfalcon finished with a shrug.

Shira listened as Mistyfalcon answered.  Her eyes went down.  She was doing most all of this, but she still felt like there could be something more she was doing.  Her eyes were fixed on the ground and her nose scrunched when he talked about following Murkystrike and Flintstar.  That was mostly true, but not exactly.  I don't ask the needless questions because I just do everything I want to do without asking, she thought.

She nodded when he finished, her eyes again meeting his.  "Well, then I should be fine," she answered.  "So, that's it huh?  Just follow the leader, train apprentices and hunt?"  It seemed almost too easy.  Shira always tried to make everything harder in herself than it needed to be.  Being a warrior almost just seemed like a cat living their own life, with the Asylum she thought of it as a job.  A job where she would act as one cat, one soldier, without thinking about her sisters or anyone else.  Now it seemed weird that a cat could just live as themselves, so there had to be something more, even though she knew deep down there wasn't.

"Pretty much, training apprentices and hunting is most of it." Mistyfalcon agreed with a lazy shrug. "As far as obeying orders, Shadowclan is lucky. Flintstar is an isolationist, and he always puts Shadowclan's well-being above his own, even if the decision seems wrong at first thought. The one time I sort of disobeyed his orders... Well, he understood that we couldn't fight the Asylum head-on " Flintstar had understood, just as Mistyfalcon had understood the reasoning of surrendering to the Asylum. Fighting them directly wasn't a battle any clan would have won. "Following without question can lead to problems of course. Flintstar hasn't given me much reason to doubt his leadership."

Shira listened.  Still thoughts clouded her mind.  Questions mostly.  When she had questions she felt the need for them to be answered.  "The warrior code states that what the leader commands is part of the code, correct?  So, what if the leader asked a cat to kill cats from a different clan.  The warrior code also says not to kill.  So, what decision would the the warrior have to make then?"  She paused, but then quickly added the next part.  "Not that I think Flintstar would do that, but what would a warrior do if they were asked to do that without going outside of the code?"

"Context." He mewed, "I'd kill in a heartbeat if that was the only way to protect my family, or myself. If the cat hadn't done anything, or was willing to back down from a fight, there's no cause for it. It's nobody's first resort, of course, but sometimes we have to do what we have to do."

"Personally? I think that part of the code is... not thought out well, for exactly that reason. Shadowclan is lucky that Flintstar and Murkystrike are who they are. I don't think we have to worry about either of them going on a power trip." Mistyfalcon was aware he could always be proven wrong, but in this case, he didn't think that would happen.

Shira nodded.  "I agree," she responded.  "Murkystrike was one of the first cats to talk to me when I came to Shadowclan.  I was happy when she got to be deputy.  She deserved to be and I don't think her or Flintstar would ever tell us to do something bad for no reason."  A flash of anger went through her eyes as she thought of what the next deputy could be like and if they could have ended up being a cat like Burningwing whether she would follow them or not.

"But that part of the code is written poorly."  she exclaimed again.  "Like what if a later leader asked for any not pure blood Shadowclanners to leave?  I know I wouldn't.  I know I would fight with everything I had to not."  She thought for a moment.  "I get why that part of the warrior code might be in it, but I don't support it and I know I would not support a leader if they were asking us to do something bad."

"Mhmm." Mistyfalcon agreed softly, tail flicking. Flintstar and Murkystrike, he was almost certain, wouldn't be the leadership that would lead Shadowclan down a path of cruelty. Maybe he was slightly biased about Murkystrike, but she'd always been more kind and patient than anyone he'd ever known. Shadowclan was lucky to have her... He was lucky to have her.

Shira's words brought to mind something more concerning, however. "Burningwing?" He felt reasonably confident that the dark tom was who she spoke of, it was only reasonable, given his... views. Mistyfalcon hadn't interacted with the tom much beyond simple pleasantries. "The rest of Shadowclan doesn't share his beliefs." Mistyfalcon would like to see him try something like that with Ravenwing or Hopegiver, or Batglow. That wasn't something he wouldn't hesitate to fight against, if he had to. "I don't think anyone in the clan would be happy about that sort of policy. I can't see any of our warriors going along with such a thing."

Shira nodded when Mistyfalcon said the name of the cat she was thinking about.  "I haven't spoken to him much either, but the times I have I felt like tearing his fur off."  She hissed.  "Not that I ever would."  She made sure to add quickly.  Although, if there was a reason to...  She shook her head at her own thoughts.

"I hope the rest of the clan would defy orders if they thought it was wrong.  I've learned that blindly following orders without question is never the best way to do things."