Checking In [CLOSED for Downfive]

The medicine den was quiet today. That alone wasn't unusual, it tended to be a pretty serene place, but today it was for a very different reason. Dennis fidgeted with his paws as he faced away from the nest he'd confined Cloverpaw to. She only had a few claw marks, but that plus the legs was enough to make Dennis want to never let her leave again. That was stupid, of course. She could do whatever she wanted... But that wouldn't stop the horrible feeling he had in his chest. How could he have let this happen? His apprentice went out against SkyClan alone, without his help. Wolfstar must not have recognised her. If he'd been there, the leader would have realised sooner. He was sure of it, this was his fault for staying behind. And now Cloverpaw was being attacked at Gatherings. SkyClan was a force to be reckoned with, but to think they'd go this far...

He turned around slowly, taking a piece of wet moss in his paws as he approached Cloverpaw. He didn't speak as he pressed the moss to her wound, though it was already clean. But he had to do something to make up for this. He avoided eye contact. Did she blame him? She had every right to, of course. Dennis let out a sigh, a weary and slightly disappointed sound. He straightened up, though he kept his eyes focused on the ground. "C-Cloverpaw... Do you... Do you want to talk about what happened?" Stupid, stupid stupid. What was there to talk about? He let her go off alone and she got hurt. There wasn't much else to say, but still he sat there with his ears pricked in hopes that she did have something to say. Anything.

"No." The sharp hiss came immediately in response, Cloverpaw's tail was twitching restlessly and angrily. She didn't even react to the way her head stung as Dennis tried to clean it more than he already had, the way water ran through her already rain-slicked fur and into her eye. Her already-narrowed eyes were focused intently on her paws, and she seemed to genuinely have no interest in talking. She was tired, in pain, and wanted to claw that little apprentice's ears off.

Still, despite her answer: "Some– some little SkyClan rat hit me! Bearspirit hit me! Well," her tone softened for just a second, "I think he was just trying to keep me safe, and he really just pinned me, but it still hurt. But at least Turtlefur went for the right cat!" She paused for a long while, then lifted her head to look up at her mentor. Her expression was unclear, a mix of exhaustion and fury and misery.

"Right after she hit me, there was thunder and– Dennis, lightning blasted one of the Great Oaks. Split it right in half." Cloverpaw's words were sharp and short, every sound made rougher by the heat in her voice. She flexed her claws, burying them into the moss she was curled up in. "Beechface was up there. She deserved it." An insincere little laugh, and then she lapsed into silence again. When she spoke next, she took to pained wailing instead of grit-teeth growling.

"I just don't get it, Dennis! Everyone wants to just forget anything ever happened! I– I get not wanting to look weak, but look at us!" Cloverpaw sniffled, nose wrinkling. Her eyes were hot and stinging– was it the water running off the moss or was she tearing up? "But Lilacstar lost a life, Dayspring's leg was broken, and look what happened to me! Everyone wants to just... move on. I don't understand." A deep, shuddering breath to steel herself, and her voice was steady and grim when she spoke next: "SkyClan should face justice for what they've done. I can't be expected to just sit around and do nothing while the forest moves on."

Dennis recoiled a little at her response. He expected as much, but it was still a little startling to see his usually so sweet apprentice so angry. After he got over the shock, though, a little spark of anger appeared in his mind. Cloverpaw was an apprentice, she wasn't supposed to have to deal with things like this. That they could do something this horrible to her, make her this angry... Well. He had always disliked SkyClan. They took Mountainheart and now he was losing Cloverpaw too.

He continued averting his eyes as she spoke, saying nothing. It didn't feel like a good time to say anything. It was only after she told him about Beechface that he made eye contact, jaw shooting open. "The Great Oak... Split?? Beechface got STRUCK by-" He cut himself off. Now was not the time for outbursts on his part, as shocking (heh) as the news was. Leave it to SkyClan to start a fight at a gathering that would split a tree older than every cat in the Forest combined.

He came closer to her, pressing into her side comfortingly as she started crying. She was right, it wasn't fair. That his apprentice could no longer walk properly, that apparently nobody was addressing any of this. "You're right, Cloverpaw. It's- it's horrid, what SkyClan did. I can't imagine why anyone would just flat-out ignore what happened. You didn't deserve this, none of you did. I can't pretend I know exactly how you feel, I was never as brave as you..." He trailed off. He'd lived his whole life without causing conflict. He never stood up for himself, for anything... How could he possibly comfort her? He knew nothing about how Cloverpaw felt.

"You know, you remind me of someone I know. You wouldn't know her- she retired before your time, I hardly see her anymore... But she would rather die than let go of any injustice. I seem to recall Beechface had a certain... Dislike of her, too." He looked away from Cloverpaw again. Why why why why did he bring her up? Idiot. But without any reassurance from his own experience, he needed all the help he could get.

Cloverpaw welcomed Dennis's presence, leaning into him as he settled at her side. She made a choked, hiccuping sound, pressing her cheek into his shoulder. She felt tired again. The anger burned down into a sizzling ember, and she made no effort to stop the tears as they started to spill. Another hiccup.

"Beechface doesn't like anyone," She mewed shakily. "I wish I met that cat. She sounds nice. She sounds like she would have done something." Anger rose into her voice again, but it quickly dissolved into another sob.

She was so, so tired. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in her nest and sleep. She never wanted to leave this den again.

"It just doesn't make sense. When I speak up, I'm in the wrong! Why? They– they–" A thought sparked, sudden and painfully violent. Cloverpaw recoiled at the intensity of it, and she let out another pained cry. She had been in denial since she woke up in Smallbean's den, and she held fast to that idea to keep her together. But she had seen Yarrowpaw's body, trying desperately to recover. She hadn't been around to see him dragged away. She didn't need to to know what happened.

"Dennis, they're murderers! They're violent, awful, ugly, evil murderers and I hate all of them!" Her voice had keyed up in volume and pitch as she buried her head against her mentor, hardly noticing the way her forehead ached where the new scratches lay. SkyClan had stolen her best friend, her– No. –her best friend from her. She would never see him again. The hopeful ignorance of denial was slipping away from her fast, and she teetered dangerously between anger and acceptance.

And just as quickly as her anguished outburst came, it washed away into more exhausted, unsteady sobs.

"Dennis, I– I'm tired. This is the worst. I hope none of them go to StarClan." It was vindictive and cruel, but no one could change her mind on that. None of them deserved to walk among the stars, not a single member of that Clan. "I just– I just want to go to sleep." She was so sick of fighting for a justice that didn't seem to be coming.

If I don't, no one will. If it had to be her, it had to be her. But not tonight. Tonight, the rain would fall, and she would stay here, hissing and shouting and crying and silently begging their starry ancestors to prove their worth.