Moonlight Hall [O]

Cheetahpaw was pretty sure Mother was dead.

As she lay, head on paws, at the base of a gnarled oak tree, she bided her time contemplating what could have been. For a starters, one of many things could have happened that night Moonshine went for a walk. She could have simply decided later on in her stroll, "You know what, ShadowClan isn't worth my time. I hate everyone." And then ditched them right on the spot for someone, or something else. More likely, she could have been dispatched by one of the predators also enjoying the evening activity. Killed by a rogue, maybe. Whatever the cause, one thing was certain: she wasn't coming back.

Cheetahpaw sighed -- a long, harrumphing noise as she stared off into the distance with wide orange eyes. Why had mother left her? Whether she'd meant to or not.... Surely she couldn't have actually abandoned ShadowClan?

Maybe it was as everyone always told her. You're too much work. Perhaps Moonshine had grown too stressed of her "rambunctious" daughter and so left her for Dad, who, as much as Cheetahpaw hated to admit it, seemed a bit too depressed to actually care for his children, if not just entangled in an unhealthy myriad of warriors duties.

I should eat some fresh-kill, Cheetahpaw thought to herself, though the thought held none of the motivation it had been intended to pose. Maybe it would clear her mind a little..... Cheetahpaw honed her gaze in on the mound of deceased animals. It was only a fox-length or two out of her reach. And yet... she didn't feel like it. Like actually putting in the energy to rise to her paws and grab something. Well, what was the point, anyway. She wasn't worth tending to, even if it was by her own self. Hardly anyone would care if she starved to death -- not even Pantherpaw. Even though she's..... All I have left.

Her breathing heightened in pace, rapidly, as she lay there in the clearing, throat clenching against tears. I hate looking weak.

Pantherpaw came into camp and laid her prey down on the fresh-kill pile. Looking up, she gave a start at the sight of her sister- likely brooding over how to make Pantherpaw’s life miserable. Stars, would she ever stop and actually care? Pantherpaw angrily shook out her fur, ignoring her sister. If Cheetahpaw wanted to be a pain in the tail, she could go ahead and do it. Pantherpaw didn’t need her sister any more. She could make friends. She could go ahead without her. Forge her own path in life. Have cats she trusted. She lifted her head and stared icily at Cheetahpaw. Pain in the tail indeed. Pantherpaw was an asset to ShadowClan. The prey she’d laid on the pile would satisfy anycat. Cheetahpaw was just an annoyance. N-no cat… no cat would be friends with her.

She was just thinking this to keep her thoughts away from… her mother. Moonshine. Surely… she surely she hadn’t… even if she had left because of her kits, it would be because of Cheetahpaw, not Pantherpaw. Cheetahpaw was the pain in the tail, not her. Not her. Cheetahpaw was an annoyance, a block of ice masquerading as a cat. Ch-Cheetahpaw was the mean one. Pantherpaw turned and stalked off, furious. Just a glimpse of her sister had brought back the doubts she didn’t want to have. Pantherpaw lay down on her usual rock, not far from her sister. She couldn’t get comfortable, now. Her tail thumped on the rock. Cheetahpaw. Even the sight of her could ruin Pantherpaw’s entire day.

As if things couldn't get any worse, there came walking in Pantherpaw. Cheetahpaw's head perked up, ears angling multiple directions all at once.

She was her.... sister, as strange as it sounded on the tongue. Her blood-related kin. And yet, emotionally, they couldn't be any more different from one another. Pantherpaw hated Cheetahpaw. Cheetahpaw hated.....

No. Even if it was true, for whatever reason Cheetahpaw couldn't find it within herself to think the words so briskly. Pantherpaw was an arrogant brat, a good-for-nothing weakling. Oh, that was for certain. But alas, that wasn't Cheetahpaw's problem. Cheetahpaw at least had some self-control. As arrogant as she was, she had little reason to hate her sibling. The fact was, Pantherpaw was all she had left. Mother was gone, Dad was too busy, who knew what had happened to Nightkit. Cheetahpaw hadn't seen him for moons, now. Not that it worried her -- she'd barely known the dude, why would she be worried?

The next minute she looked, Pantherpaw had climbed up unto her usual rock and lay down. Cheetahpaw fixed that unmoving, passively burning orange gaze on her. Something clawed at her heart as she stared at her sister. Her lips moved in a soundless motion, before the words at last crept through. Husky, rasping, sickeningly... desperate. "I miss you, Pantherpaw...." She stifled back a hacking sob. "I miss you. What have I done?! WHY DON'T YOU WANT ME." Her tail lashed as her back straightened, and she staggered to her paws. A crazed flare lit her eyes -- burning orange flames on either side of her nose. She gave a pitiful sob as she struggled in the direction of Pantherpaw. What was this feeling? It was unfamiliar, yet warmer than what usually had control of her. I love you, Pantherpaw. Why couldn't she see that?

Why?

Pantherpaw started to her paws at the sound of an unfamiliar voice. It took her a full five seconds to realize who it was coming from- Cheetahpaw. The cold, manipulative block of ice who probably spontaneously generated from a cold, unfeeling rock. She sounded desperate, alone, like how Pantherpaw felt... but... did she really? Was all this just an elaborate ploy to get Panther back on her sister's side? Was Cheetahpaw genuine? There, now there was the problem, the root of her difficulties. Was Cheetahpaw genuine. Did she truly miss her sister? DID SHE!?! Pantherpaw froze for a moment, desperately wanting to know the answer. She- she... she wanted her sister. She missed her sister. But... was Cheetahpaw going to just... betray her? Use her? Like a mossball? For the first time, Pantherpaw doubted it. The look in her eyes... stars, maybe Cheetahpaw had a fever. By the Dark Forest, if that was the case, she was going to take advantage of it. But... did she really? Miss her? Doubts flooded Pantherpaw, before a solution presented itself. By the stars above, she was going to ask.

"I-I miss you too, but... do you really miss me? Are you just saying that? I miss you Cheetah, I want... I want to be friends, and, and sisters again, but... I can't tell if you mean it. Please, just tell me the truth! I just want the truth..." Tears welled up in Pantherpaw's eyes. She wanted her sister. She wanted the sister she thought she had had, back as a kit. She wanted a friend, somecat she could trust. Somecat she could depend on, and, if- if Cheetah could... she'd love, love, love for that cat to be her sister. But she had to know she could depend on her. She had to know.

"How could you assume that about me?"

Cheetahpaw halted in her tracks, frozen for a moment to the spot. Her breathing, which had just heartbeats ago been eliciting at the pace of a running rabbit, caught in place in her throat. Her claws flexed absentmindedly. Etching long, jagged lines in the wet dirt. Pantherpaw wanted her back -- even so, the fact that the ebony she-cat still had her doubts was off-putting. If her sister truly wanted her back, she wouldn't even hesitate about the matter. If you asked her, Cheetahpaw was an asset to everyone whom with she socialized, a beneficial ally.

And as far as she was concerned, she hadn't even done much to get on her sister's nerves.

She blinked in shock. "Look at us, Pantherpaw. Ruining each other's own lives because of a sibling rivalry? What are we.... kits?!" Regaining confidence, Cheetahpaw took a step forward, closer to her sister. "And don't you even think," she spat, "for a second that I'm going to let you break me down like this. I want you back, I do, and... Quite honestly, I can't believe you even have to question that." She stared lovingly -- more lovingly, at least, than she did any other creature -- at her sister, head crooking to the side, her shoulders haunching.

"Please. Let me into your life, again. You'll be stronger than ever. I'll aid you in everything."

How could she assume that? Well, Pantherpaw knew her sister more than any other cat did. She didn't assume, she knew. Cheetahpaw didn't notice that about herself, hmm? Well. That was off-putting. As Pantherpaw listened, her eyes hardened into glittering blue-green diamonds. "I don't want you back to be strong, Cheetahpaw, and if you can't understand that, we're going to end up hurting each other. I don't speak your language, and you don't speak mine. I don't care about becoming the strongest cat in the Clan. All I want is a cat I know I can depend on- not just to make me stronger, but to be able to talk to, to feel safe with. Somecat to understand me. What you want is somecat to make you stronger- or somecat to sit by your side and applaud whatever you do. Answer me this, Cheetahpaw- isn't what you desire most strength? And power? Mother's... absence taught me otherwise- it's the relationships that count in life. What do you think will happen when you reach the top? Haven't you listened to the elders' stories? You won't be happy. If you cannot understand this... I will be here if you need me, but I rather think you'd better find cats who understand you. Stars know I don't."

Pantherpaw leapt off her rock and headed towards the camp entrance. No more tears glistened in her eyes. Cheetahpaw truly was a different creature. She couldn't understand her. She'd thought perhaps Moonshine's absence would have taught her that relationships were the important thing in life- it taught Pantherpaw that, and stars knew she was the last cat in the forest to learn it. No. She'd done the right thing, for both of them. It never occurred to her that perhaps she was being rather self-righteous. No. Cheetahpaw was the one with the problems. Pantherpaw broke into a run. It wasn't her! It was Cheetah! It was Cheetah who had caused Moonshine to leave them... as the black cat ran out into the territory, tears welled up in her eyes. She wanted her mother, she wanted her mother...