Thorns and Feathers [Muddythorn]

The sun warmed her pelt as Beechface paused at the edge of the creek, ducking her head to lap at the cool water below with a quiet sigh. Newleaf, for all the troubles it had brought, had been kind to Skyclan's section of the forest. Their territory was still rocky and signs of the fire remained, but there were more leaves on the trees and both flora and fauna were steadily becoming more plentiful as the season wore on.

She'd decided to search along the creek for herbs today, and had found a nice crop of celandine for her detour. She'd carefully set the herb aside, and continued on her way. She hadn't managed to find a volunteer before leaving camp, so wouldn't be bringing back as much as she would have liked... But it was nice to simply enjoy the relative peace and quiet. Beechface knew she couldn't rely on picking unfortunate warriors or bored apprentices forever, she'd need to find an apprentice sooner rather than later, and stars knew she wanted one. The problem was finding someone suitable to the task, and someone that was willing to do what she asked for more than just a day. Most of her clanmates weren't inclined to help find herbs, and those that did wind up helping her wouldn't have wanted to deal with the injured or sick.

Not that Beechface wanted to do those things either, but someone had to, and for now that someone was her. The dream of training an apprentice and leaving the position seemed distant and far away, now. She'd been hoping for a new litter, a kit that wasn't thrilled about the prospect of becoming a warrior, an apprentice that hated fighting and hunting more than she'd loved it. Even a warrior that just felt like they could better help their clan by relieving them of the prickly medicine cat would do. Better yet, someone who genuinely wanted to tend to the injured or sick.

And so far she'd found nobody.

A quiet huff escaped Beechface as she gazed out over the water, hardly hearing the steps that approached her, so lost in her own thoughts was the medicine cat.

In all honesty, Muddythorn wasn't paying that much attention to the hunting he was supposed to be doing, but why should he, when the creek looked so pretty and the weather was so nice? As long as he didn't doze off, he could probably stretch out on a nearby boulder and enjoy the sunshine. But who was he kidding. He was a warrior now, and that surely had to mean more than just a shiny new name. If anyone was capable of going on their first solo hunt and returning home empty-pawed, it was definitely Muddythorn.

Luckily, he was distracted from having to make a decision when he spotted his aunt Beechface sitting a little further down the bank. The medicine cat seemed lost in thought, but Mudythorn didn't really take that into consideration when he flopped down beside her, mewing a friendly greeting. "Hey Beechface! Didn't expect to see you out here alone," He tried to scent the air for herbs around, but he soon realised it was worthless when all he got was the herby scent that always clung to Beechface's pelt. Probably just an occupational norm for a medicine cat. "Watcha' doing?" Muddythorn had kind of assumed she was willing for a conversation, since this was definitely more fun than the hunt he had set out to do.

Beechface jumped slightly at Muddythorn's voice, but offered the newly-named warrior a warm (if tired) smile.

"Hey, Muddythorn. Enjoying the life of a warrior?" Who was she kidding, of course he would be. That's what Skyclanners did. He was one of the more laid-back members of the clan, level-headed and friendly. Still, she was proud of her nephew. He'd earned his name, and despite a rough start as an apprentice he was doing well as far as Beechface could tell.

"Looking for herbs... Or an apprentice... Or my sanity." She answered his question, the humor in her tone not at all genuine. She was drowning. Had been since before Asylum had come to the forest. Now though, even their leaving had highlighted all of her failures for the clan to see. She'd failed to save her clanmates, and after the long string of injuries, deaths and retirements, she felt drained. What was the point when she couldn't keep her own family healthy and sane? Grief and guilt weighed heavy on Beechface's broad shoulders, and not all of that could be attributed as being for those that had been lost. Birdsong was alive and healthy, Ravenclaw hardly looked in her direction, but somehow, somehow she still protected Beechface and Birdsong both. And Wrenspring. None of the clan knew, none of them could possible know, and yet the truth gnawed at her.

So yes, she was looking for an apprentice. Training one and retiring, maybe that would redeem her, just a bit. Fat chance.

Muddythorn made a noncommittal noise to Beechface's question; it wasn't like he hated being a warrior, but he wasn't particularly happy with it, either. However, his aunt's answer to his own question surprised him. She always seemed to have everything together - Starclan, she was responsible for the whole clans health, and the only issues that had happened recently had seemed unpreventable (at least to him). The clan'd had a fair share of losses as well, but you can only do so much when a cat disappears or passes to Starclan due to some unknown condition.

"If you ever need any help, I'm always here! Honestly, anything that gets me off warrior's duties." He said with a small laugh. Even though he was loud and confident, no way was he bold enough to straight up offer to be her apprentice. Now that he thought about it, how bad could it be? He had herb-hunted before and found, much to his delight, that it was easier (and even a bit more fun) than hunting live prey. In the grand scheme of things, he hadn't been around many sick or injured cats, but he loved his clanmates, and surely a want to help them could overpower any kind of disgust at blood and other icky stuff. 

A look of surprise softened Beechface's usually stern expression at Muddythorn's words. She hadn't thought of him as one that would have disliked warrior duties, even if he'd always been more than willing to help her search for herbs in the past. Maybe... Just maybe, if there was any cat that might be willing to do more than just help find herbs every once in a while...

"I could always use the help, especially willing help." Her words were true enough. "One set of paws elsewhere wouldn't harm anything, Skyclan has plenty of warriors that enjoy what they do, and I can't keep asking the unwilling to assist. The responsibility isn't one most cats want, and rightfully so. It's a lot to handle, and it's stressful." Her words lacked venom, but they were true. If Muddythorn wanted to assist her, she'd be thrilled, but Beechface would not offer him honeyed words that made things seem different than they were.

"You mean like... as your apprentice?" Muddythorn asked, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice. He thought that he could handle the responsibility (not that he'd been given much of it before), and from what Beechface said, it seemed like there were few willing to take the position up. "That... uhm, maybe I could do that? Warriors can become medicine cat apprentices after getting their name right? Weren't you a warrior apprentice once?" Maybe he was getting ahead of himself a bit here, but he couldn't help himself. Before, he had never really considered this path as an option, but now there was a clear opening, a position practically calling his name. Maybe he would feel like he fit better.

"Yes, I was." Unbidden, Beechface's tone turned wistful. "Wolfstar was my mentor, though he was the deputy at the time." How easy things had seemed then, with the relationship with her grandfather and mentor being nearly as close as her relationship with her father. She'd looked up to both of them, once, and her only worry had been Dawnhawk's arrogance and doing well in her training.

Now though, things couldn't have been more strained if she tried. Wolfstar avoided her, Bloodstrike was... Not right. And Dawnhawk... Well, the clan was better off without him. They'd be better off if he was dead, or maybe, just maybe Smokefeather was right to regret not stopping things before they'd had a chance to begin. The thought should have been horrifying, and if it had ever been directed at any other sibling, any other clanmate, it would be. She could no longer be the carefree apprentice, and Dawnhawk was far, far more than just an arrogant nuisance. She hated not knowing where he'd show up next, hated not knowing which of her clanmates would next fall victim to the ex-Skyclanner or some other malady. She wished desperately that Sagelight had chosen someone else for this responsibility, wished that the crushing weight on her shoulders would be lifted.

The rest of Muddythorn's words registered belatedly, and the reluctant medicine cat could only stand there, blinking. Dumbfounded, in truth. That had been excitement in his voice. Excitement at the prospect of becoming a medicine cat.

"Is becoming my apprentice something you want to do?" Funny, how now she was the one struggling to keep excitement out of her own voice. "You're a warrior, it's not like I'd have to inform your mentor... And you don't have an apprentice that would need to be assigned to a new mentor."

"Look, I'll give you a few days to think it over, you can shadow me. If it's something you still want, we'll inform Wolfstar and I'll take you to the moonstone for your ceremony." It was far too late in the day to start the journey now, and it would give them both time to adjust to the idea. Bloodstrike would have one less warrior to assign to patrols, but having a willing medicine cat was better than having a less keen warrior.