raven and wren untitled adventures [closed for king falcon]

"Up for a hunt?" Wrenspring padded up alongside his former apprentice with the hints of a smile across his maw. The tom would have been lying if he said that she too did not invoke the sense of guilt that had caused bile to rise in the back of his throat. Ravenclaw deserved better than being reduced to a cover for the shameful deeds he had committed. To the clan they were a happy pair, raising two fine young kits. But it was a guise, deceitful as vibrant moss on the surface of a decaying log. He knew that the answer would undoubtedly be a yes - the dark-furred she-cat had never turned down spending time with him.

Crooked tail flickering to beckon her forward, the elder warrior lead the way through the entrance of camp. His paws carried him forward without much thought of which direction they were straying. Eventually there came the soft hush of the moonlit creek. Seeing it flowing stirred something in his chest - a fluttering of hope. Moons ago that same slithering path that carved through their territory had been barren. It was a memory that he wouldn't soon forget. Blinking, Wrenspring was brought back to the present and he turned to his companion, "It's been a while since we've been out just the two of us, huh? How have you been holding up with... everything?" His voice was gentle and warm, gaze shining with with genuine concern.

It was amazing. Nothing could make her feel the high of sunshine happiness and the low of solo guard duty in the rain like Wrenspring. Her heart soared upon hearing him call her name, but then dropped right into the pit of her stomach upon seeing his face: his kind eyes, his warm smile. He was asking her if she wanted to go on a hunt. They both knew what the answer was, but it was likely for appearances' sake. Or perhaps that familiarity they had as former mentor and apprentice.

Soon enough they were in the forest, the birdsong and light orchestra of insects sounded much more chipper than the roiling turmoil within her stomach. She couldn't even look at Wrenspring for fear that she might vomit out everything she was thinking. She couldn't say nothing, though: he was talking to her, and it would be worse if she remained silent. Like a petulant apprentice.

"It's... been difficult. It's hard to keep this from the entire clan." She could admit this truth, but it was obfuscated. It was difficult, but she didn't want to admit just why it was so difficult. Wrenspring was going through enough: he didn't need the she-cat he was pretending to be mates with admit that she had feelings for him. The two of them being like this... This was as close as they would ever get, and she had to accept it. Even if she couldn't. "What about you? Have... things been okay?"

As they padded into the forest, a cascade of newleaf sounds caused his ears to twitch. However, despite the distracting nature of such a background, the tom found it soothing. His paws became lighter with each step. While Ravenclaw was churning with internal conflict, the old warrior found himself slipping back into a contented peace. Nothing had ever brought him such relief as trapesing the forest with his apprentices. The dark-furred she-cat was no different and the thought brought a smile to his maw. As Wrenspring glanced to read her features, he noticed that she wasn't the young kit he had trained many moons ago; she was her own warrior, one that unjustly bore his burden, and his sin.

The joy of the moment was ruptured by the sinking guilt in his chest. No words would ever seemed right, nor truly express how much he appreciated her sacrifice, not just for himself but for the kits and for Beechface. There was a slow release of breath from the sides of his maw, something the warrior had not even noticed he had been holding until she spoke. Raw honestly rang in the words. Whatever reservation was there glanced of his ears, and he could feel the sensation in his chest tugging even harder. She'd posed a question though. Wrenspring couldn't just stare at Beechface's sister - his former apprentice - as he sought words that would feel intrinsically selfish, no matter the intent.

"I've been thinking about Graybird a lot." He admitted, "Honestly, as terrible as it sounds, it almost makes these things seem a little more trivial. It isn't but... you know what I mean." Wrenspring hated to dwelled on the unexpected death of his late daughter, but it buried itself like an all to comfortable tick. Gritting his teeth, the gray and white tom pushed away the thought, forcing himself into the present with Ravenclaw. Suddenly, he stopped, paws rooted to the ground like one of the many trees that rose up from the territory floor.

"You know I'm not just around you as a front, right? It's important to me that you know that, Ravenclaw. You've always meant a great deal to me. And I know Beechface feels the same way. I just thought that you should know." Dull green eyes flashed with a torrent of emotion, a flicker of sadness, and he settled back on his haunches. The moonlit creek wasn't far off and the earth they stood one was sodden ever so slightly as a result. Wrenspring looked tired, perhaps more so than ever before.

Graybird... She had been one of Wrenspring's daughters, before Beechface came into the picture. Funny, she didn't actually feel jealous towards those clan members. Maybe because she had no idea she would have these feelings for Wrenspring then. That was like a different life. Admittedly, she hadn't had a burgeoning friendship with Graybird before her passing. They knew each other, and they respected each other as fellow clan members would. That was all, though. It made her feel a bit guilty that she couldn't share in the wretched pain that Wrenspring was certainly feeling.

"I know that," she responded quickly, but she didn't sound very convincing. She took a couple more steps before realizing that Wrenspring was no longer by her side. Stopping, she turned to find him sitting on his haunches, staring at her. He seemed... old. Not in a bad way, but he was getting up there in moons, wasn't he? Time seemed to have a way of moving faster than any of them suspected. It felt like she had just become a warrior, struggling with her feelings for the graying senior warrior in front of her. Now she herself had been a warrior for many moons, and she had to wonder how long the same would be said about Wrenspring. A sudden fear seized her heart. How much time did they have left together?

"You mean a great deal to me too," she said with much more sincerity, coming back to sit across from him. Looking into his eyes, it felt like she was going to say something she wasn't sure she should say. It was like the words were being yanked from her throat, like a bird being yanked from its nest, and out into the open. "You mean... so much to me. You always have." She found herself unable to look in his eyes anymore, so she looked down at the sodden ground. "I've always loved you, you know?" Her words came out as a whisper, as if she wanted to say them, but for them to not be heard.

His eyes had glossed over, fixated on nowhere in particular ahead. Hearing the soft hush of the creek as it flitted on by was a comfort that the elder warrior did not know he had needed. In spite of all that had happened, somethings were constant and persistent. Until they weren't. Wrenspring always remembered when the creek had dried and sweltering heat had impacted their territory. Around that time, Redfall had attacked him, fire had raged... Skyclan had been displaced. But the creek had returned. A slow breath inflated his lungs and was held there for a second, before being exhaled into the unassuming wind.

The natural order of things ebbed and flowed in a manner far beyond what he could ever consider or comprehend. This was another such event. Ravenclaw's brisk reply caused his ear to flick. It wasn't lost on the warrior like it might have once been. His dull green gaze drifted back to reading her expression. As she continued on, Wrenspring sought to drink in every tiny feature of her expressions. He'd had several apprentices over time but Ravenclaw was the one that seemed to stick persistently close. Beyond carrying the burden of his secret with Beechface, she'd been a good friend and a loyal warrior to the clan.

As she breathed those final words, the question caused his heart to still. Wrenspring found himself stunned more by a lack of surprise than anything. He supposed he had always known, in a sense. It was that fact that caused his stomach to sink. This young cat, his apprentice, had pinned after him and followed him, seeking love and companionship; it had become something he'd ignorantly trampled over, condemning her as he fell so deeply in love with her sister. It was the kind of pain he would never know or share in but real enough in the raw honestly of her words.

For a moment, he was silent. There was nothing that could soothe this over, no honey to the throat. Wrenspring shifted closer and pressed his head into her shoulder, "I'm sorry, Ravenclan, that I was never able to be the tom that you wanted or needed me to be. I care for you like I did my own daughter, a different kind of love that I never thought I would know. It's all I can do. I know it's not enough but... you deserve something better than this, than me. I'll always be here, in the meantime, as much as I can be." The words were their own brand of raw truth, he wouldn't try to make it sound any sweeter. Above all else, Ravenclaw deserved honesty, to know how he felt.

And he meant it too, even as things changed, no matter their course, he'd stand by her side as much as he could.

Somehow Ravenclaw had known this would happen. After all the moons that had passed, the seasons that had come and gone while she pined for a warrior that loved her sister, it was as if it could only end this way. That didn't make it any easier, of course. The finality of Wrenspring's words created a well of sadness that wrapped around her heart, squeezing it like a vice. Her emotions were filling her up until she thought they were going to explode out of her, but nothing came. Not even words passed her throat. She could only stand there in silence, staring past Wrenspring into the expanse of forest. Where they were standing would have to be the place where her truth would be held.

"Thank you," she whispered, though she wasn't sure what she was thanking Wrenspring for. For telling her the truth maybe, or perhaps for continuing to stay with her. It would never be like she wanted. The one cat that she loved would always remain just out of reach. It was just something she would have to live with, even if she wished and prayed and begged for things to be different. Bitter disappointment... Maybe that was just the SkyClan way.